raisedbypiglins

[raisedbypiglins]

thank you for the dsmp world download jack manifold 🫶🫶

[raisedbypiglins]

all of the snails were voiced by Oli so really snailshipping is just TheOrionSound selfcest and I'm here for it honestly

~🖤🪨

FUNNIEST DIRECTION THAT MCYTSHIPSANDMORE SNAILPOCOLYPSE COULD HAVE GONE.

-🍫

[raisedbypiglins]

do you think it snowed in the desert after grian and scar's battle? im sure as reds started to sprout up everywhere, the winter soon started taking over, snow everywhere do you think it started to snow as they fought, the cold making it harder for scar, who was shirtless, to think and fight back? do you think grian looked up after that fight and saw only clouds in the sky? the sun gone like the sun that he had killed, who laid by his feet, bloody and lifeless? do you think grian's hands stained the snow red as he dug a grave for his best friend? do you think ren and martyn died close enough for martyn to grab his king's hand with one last dying breath do you think they promised to bury each other after they fell, only for neither of them to survive long enough to pay their respects to their dead friend's bodies? do you think that impulse and bdubs worked together to bury Cleo, sharing sweat and tears and showing how much they loved their teammate only for bdubs to never show the same respect impulse's body after he killed him? do you think that joel's wolves stayed by his side until their hunger got too much? do you wonder if another member buried his body or if he was just left as food for his dogs when their hunger hurt too much to ignore anymore? do you think scott buried his husband in their little valley, and stared at those walls wishing they coulve built more together? do you wonder if scar and grian took the time to bury someone who helped them, or if scott was left to rot far away from the man he loved? i wonder how it was for grian, to be the last one dead. There was nobody left alive to bury him. Do you think he walked down that hill with a shovel in hand, digging a grave at the bottom? do you think he jumped down from the mountain the grave he dug himself so that he'd at least have one?

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Tubbo: Phil, should we just pick someone and target them and make sure they don't get in?

Phil: Jesus. No??? [Laughs]

Tubbo: Ok, sorry, I just wondering if we were on the same wavelength–

Phil: It's against the rules, first of all!

Tubbo: How is targeting against the rules???

Phil: It's literally against the rules.

Roier: [Starts messing around with his soundboard] 🔊💥

Phil: Alright, target Roier. I'm kidding– [Cracks up laughing]

[raisedbypiglins]

followup post canon tubbo stuff. + michael

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methodology

[ID: Five panel comic with crudely drawn stick people.

Panel 1: A grayscale person with glasses and an olive green person with a rectangular build are sitting on chairs, while a grayscale person stands at a lectern, moderating a debate.

Glasses: "...and so, you see, it is the failure to correctly interpret the phrase "touch grass" and subsequent urge to not only perpetually be in contact with grass, but actually become grass, that is the fundamental driving force of the autoverdephile."

Moderator: "Wow! It's no wonder that you're one of the most respected researchers in the field! Green person, what do you think?"

Panel 2: Zoom in on the olive green person.

Olive: "...

I think first of all we need to figure out what drugs this person is on.

Then we need to burn down every institution that allowed them to have a career."

Moderator: "Woah there! There is not need to get impolite!"

Olive: "Did you hear anything they just-"

Panel 3: Zoom in on the one with the glasses.

Glasses: "Hold on, moderator. There is a grain of truth to their chlorophyll-addled ramblings.

I am not on any drugs at this moment. Which is precisely the issue."

Panel 4: They proceed to sip from an enormous box of "hallucination juice" through a straw, with the panel reading "sluuuuuurp" in large text.

Panel 5: The alleged researcher, now heavily pixellated, says: "We may now proceed, friendly jellyfish creature."

End ID.]

Start - Previous - Next

[raisedbypiglins]

My latest cartoon for Guardian Books.

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Everyone say thank you to Jack manifold and Tommyinnit for giving us an actual ending AND the DSMP download

[raisedbypiglins]

Ren: Doc says “you know Ren what helps not being single, never mention you are in love with Minecraft only” (laughs) I mean. It’s—it’s a great game, Doc. Like, is this not the greatest game ever made? Like, the greatest experience ever made? It’s not just about the game, right? Like, dude, like—being a Hermit? Being on the Hermitcraft server is there anything, like, more awesome than this? I ask you. Listen, ladies, I love ya, you guys are (does a chef’s kiss) /mwah/. But is there anything better than being a Hermit? I say nay. I say nay. (five seconds of silence, his eyes flick to the camera knowingly) I mean there’s maybe /one/ thing better than being a Hermit. (Seconds of silence) But. Family friendly channel.

Ren: Being a Hermit’s the best thing there is, okay? (thirteen seconds of silence, then he laughs) Doc had to deal with groveling ladies? I’m sorry DocM, I’m sorry brother.

[raisedbypiglins]

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mumbo jumbo in the panic room

mumbo jumbo finally imprisoned for his crimes

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Etho does tax fraud

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[raisedbypiglins]

Zedaphstropod was not an unwelcome guest at Zed's base by any means. The little guy had proven incredibly helpful for redstone, company, but mostly science experiments.

'Alright, friend,' Zedaph called from the end of the maze he was sending his snail through. 'You are to start your journey in three... Two... Oh my goodness you're an excited little snail!' Zedaph laughed as Zedaphstropod started heading through the maze, happily cutting around corners to reach Zed. And, by all accounts, taking the intended route.

Until, with an excited whoop, Zedaphstropod burst through the glass ceiling and into Zedaph's face.

Zedaph was slain by Zedaphstropod.

'xB! xB! Sweetface come quick I have a snail!' Keralis exclaimed as xB landed in his base. He grabbed his friend's hand, pulling him along. With a giggle, xB followed.

'A snail? What kind of snail?'

'A Papa K snail! With a huge shocked face and big, beautiful eyes! You need to see him!'

The two continued through Keralis's palm tree forest, all the way to the yacht. Where a certain shocked snail was creeping towards them.

'See? My snail! Look into his eyes and tell me he's not the most adorable snail in Hermitcraft!' Keralis crouched down to the snail's height, waving him over. 'Papa Snail! Papa Snail! Come to Keralis!' The snail obeyed. 'Look, xB! He loves me! He wants to be with his favourite Papa K and no, Papa Snail! Not in the water! You have so much to live for!' Keralis coughed, choking as his poor, poor snail drowned. xB dove into the water, trying to grab it and bring him to safety.

Keralis drowned

'Keralis?!' xB swam up to the surface, tail keeping him afloat as he looked out at where his friend now definitely wasn't. 'Did the snail kill you? Did you drown with him?'

'RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!' Startled by Hypno's yell, xB yelped, turning to see him already far in the distance. But a black shelled snail with fluffy blond hair and a black bandanna was zooming along the shore in his place. xB only giggled more, realising.

xBcrafted: anyone seen my snail anywhere?

xBcrafted: XD

Falsesymmetry: I'm too focused on FalseSlimetry rn!

iJevin: omg my snail's so cute I might DIE

iJevin was slain by SlimeJevin

Tango: could see that coming from a MILE away!

cubfan135: haha me and Scar keeping an eye on snailfan135

DocM77: TF IS THIS THERE'S SLIME ALL OVER MY REDSTONE!!!!

DocM77: WHY IS THERE A SNAIL DOC??

DocM77: IM THE GOAT NOT THE SNAIL

DocM77: WHY HE SO CUTE????

Stressmonster101: OH MY GAWD MY SNAIL'S SO CUUUUTE

Stressmonster101: AAAH AND ISKALL GOT A LITTLE GEEZER WITH A BEARD!

Joehillssays: you're not feeling like you wanna Slime, Nourish, Ambulate, Invertebrate, Live today, Doc?

xBcrafted was slain by xBslimed

Grian: Having fun? :)

GoodTimeWithScar: NO

GoodTimeWithScar: BAD SNAIL

Grian: no eSCARgo here, it's just for the hermits who missed out last time

cubfan135 hit the ground too hard

cubfan135: tip: do not fall off balcony when avoiding snail

GoodTimeWithScar: LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO CUB!

Tango: True… debalconyification is no laughing matter...

Pearlescentmoon: do the hermits have a certain number of lives?

Grian: no, just snails

DocM77 was slain by DocMollusk77

DocM77: WHY

DocM77: WHY IS THERE A BLUE FABRIC SNAIL????

DocM77: WITH PIPECLEAVER GOOGLY EYES

DocM77: WIAT JOE I FOUND YOUR SNAIL

ZombieCleo: Of course Joe got a Muppet snail XD

DocM77: JOE SNAIL JSUF ATE MY DJAMKND ORE!!!!!!

cubfan135: SNAILS ARE ORESNATCHERS CONFIRMED

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

Xisuma: don't try and hug your snail :-(

Stressmonster101: NOOOO

Iskall85: Why is there snail?

Iskall85 was slain by Iskshell85

Iskall85: why can't I murder it?

Iskall85: snail faulty isn't taking damage

Mumbo: it's not supposed to

Tango: they're evil like that

Tango: hook you in with the cuteification

Tango: then murder your face

xBcrafted: not immortal! Watched Keralis's snail drown

impulseSV: snails will do that.

impulseSV: oh, watch out for the propeller its adorabel

GeminiTay: all you need to do is keep your snail in sight! It's simple!

Skizzleman: SHUT UP GEM

GoodTimeWithScar: YEAH SHUT UP GEM

cubfan135 was slain by snailfan135

GoodTimeWithScar: CUB

cubfan135: I hate snails

DocM77: YES PLEASE DO

GoodTimeWithScar: BURN THE SNAILSSSSS

Skizzleman: BUEN THE SNAILS BURN THE SNAILS

Joehillssays: JOESNAILS HAS REACHED HOLMDELL. I REPEAT: JOESNAILS HAS REACHED HOLMDELL

Joehillssays was slain by Joesnailssays

Pearlescentmoon: AAAWWWW DOC YOUR SNAIL IS SO CUTE!

DocM77: HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT

Welsknight: Just finished the Snail Obstacle Course!

Joehillssays: why congratulations!

Joehillssays: what was it like competing in a mollusk-dominated sport as a human?

Welsknight: *making the Snail Obstacle Course XD

Welsknight was slain by Shellsknight

FalseSymmetry: rip

Joehillssays: Guess Shellsknight didn’t like the idea of being forced through a small maze or series of challenges with no meaningful reward, as though they were little more than a toy or an inanimate science experiment for us easily entertained by

cubfan135: #snailgate

Welsknight: no tripped over snail

Vintagebeef: just lost an argument with my snail. TCG is getting a snail special edition

Vintagebeef was slain by Vintagesnail

Joehillssays: A continuation of our attempted dominance over the gastropods who indeed bear resemblance to oursleves and have skme level of mubuman ibtelligen

Joehillssays was slain by Joesnailssays

ZombieCleo: ah yes, mubuman ibtelligen

Joehillssays: SNAIL WAS COMING HAD TO TYPE FAST

Joehillssays was slain by Joesnailssays

Smallishbeans: snail viewing platform in shopping district. Looks like snail. For non-snail-owning players only

cubfan135: how dare you

cubfan135: #snail gatekeeping

Xisuma: all hermits with snails meet in shopping district for a meeting

Smallishbeans: all hermits without snails meet in Snailbase to watch them running around panicking

Joehillssays: based on how long it took Joesnails to reach me before, I think I'm safe there

Joehillssays was slain by Joesnailssays

Iskall85: you are never safe

Hypnonizd: snails will appear when you least expect them

Hypnotizd was slain by Hypnoslimd

Xisuma: SHOPPING DISTRICT

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

Hypnotizd: RUN AWAY

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

cubfan135 was slain by snailfan135

GoodTimeWithScar blew up

cubfan135: don’t put TNT on snails

cubfan135: they dont like that

Welsknight: Shellsknight has completed the obstacle course in record time!

iJevin: isn't he the only snail who’s attempted it?

Welsknight: doesnt mean its not a record

iJevin: i mean fair

iJevin: how do I test SlimeJevin with this?

Etho: RAVAGER RUSH HAS SNAIL UPGRADES! HIGHEST SCORE WITH A SNAIL WINS A SNAIL TROPHY

iJevin: NEVEER MIMD WE HAVE FRIGGER

cubfan135: I AM ON MY WAY

iJevin: NO ME

Xisuma was slain by Xislima

Renthedog: SEND NE ALL THE SNAIL PICS!

Renthedog: (for Martyn entertainment purposes)

Bdoubleo100: just saw Doc runnjng theough mu forest screaming about snails???

Vintagebeef: dont worry about it, he does rhat somerimes.

Bdoubleo100: WIATTHE SNAILS ARE BACK????

ZombieCleo: only non-lifersZombieCleo: which means we get to watch them dying over and over and running and screaming

ZombieCleo: which is brilliant

Xisuma: PLZ COME TO SHOPING DISTRICT ONMY ME AND HYPNO ARE THERE RN

Xisuma: AND GRIAN, EXPLAIN WHAT RHESE SNAILS ARE ANS WHEN RHEY LEAVE?

Grian: well that’s rather simple

Grian: 1: they’re immortal snails that chase you until they boop you and you die

Grian: 2: whenever I feel like it…

Grian: :)

[raisedbypiglins]

Okay okay this will not go away so

The Hermits ranking how weird they are right

And Impulse talking about his inverted mouse controls and how Skizz also uses inverted controls because they both played the same war game

Where Impulse was the helicopter pilot

And Skizz was his gunner

And I just.

In a fictional version of Hermitcraft, Impulse the demon soldier of wars long won or lost but either way forgotten going 'you know what, it's nice here, it's calm and fun and beautiful and the chaos is always tempered by love no matter how destructive it gets, I should bring my friend.'

And his friend Skizz- an angel, the opposite of him in every way, an enemy turned ally turned something like brother but the word brother does not and cannot truly encompass what they have become to one another over millennia- says, 'will they want me?'

'Of course they will.'

'I can't create. I never could.'

'That's not what it's about. Come on, come see it. Come be with me where there are no guns. Come fly again.'

And these two old soldiers, one guiding the other into a circle of people who will trust and care and treat him like a person, not a weapon. Who will laugh at his antics and love him just as he is, as Impulse came to love him.

Just fucking. Impulse and Skizz, both with ancient scars, building new things together just like they promised one another they would when everything was dust and blood and this- this is their happy ending, and they share it with people who don't have a clue, and its perfect.

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I FORGOT ABOUT THIS LMAO

HOLLY AND I FOUND SCHLATT'S BOOK HE LEFT FOR QUACKITY IN THE CASINO

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doc vs martyn irl deathmatch for ren's hand at twitchcon rotterdam confirmed