gabrielsuppressedthoughts

[gabrielsuppressedthoughts]

All my desires are met, yet I still yearn for more.

why must such things be this way?

[gabrielsuppressedthoughts]

Why, oh why?

(hint of suicide, self harm and most likely horrible grammar)

The door creaks as I push my contused hand against the wood material, pushing it with a small force. Just enough to get it open, the room eerily quiet just as if something is waiting for me to notice it.

My eyes dart around the lowly lit room before realisation hit me like ice cold water on a frosty, gloomy night, I hesitate before moving my sore eyelids up to what was causing the petrifying shadow, for a few moments the world seemed to stop. the silence was thick, it was so loud, yet so quiet.

Choking over my own words, coming out as frantic sobs as my guilt seemingly starting to form a hollow, deep pit in my stomach

There he laid, stiff like a chopping board, his wrists red and dripping just like after you would cut up a tomato.

I finally managed to choke out my words, spewing them out like vomit almost

Why, oh why did I speak such crude words?

It looked as if there was a subtle gust of wind in the room, though that was unlikely, since when did such words spoken without a thought make such an impact upon him?

No note, nothing left to cherish his mere existence that was such short lived.

the words I was thinking of all seemed to just gush out of my mouth

Oh my dear friend, I apologise with all my sorrow, such words that I spoke were mere mistakes.

I sit there, on his cold, yet so warm floor weeping over him. Why had he come to the decision to cut his very own life short, did the words that spilt out my mouth sound like poison and thorns to him?

I could now only wish to see him once more, to cherish his touch or to be engulfed in the warmness he always shared with others.