funny-slash-poetry

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Being beat ain’t so bad, being beaten is worse!

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Car, tu es dévastatrice

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Whoever came up with Air France clearly hadn’t read any Voltaire.

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A cochairperson is both political and poetic at the same time. 

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Were you aware

That the rich aroma of melted, popcorn butter, 

smells exactly like old-man ear?

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The Superwoman Times

Commenting Section, Sports: It’s long been known that women are the precursors to and progenitors of bowling, at which they excel, regularly, and with strides of ease. ^^

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Chaque nana son banana

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Someone should entitle their book: Made Up of Things You're Not Supposed To Say

and with the right philosophical and literary ramblings,

bitch all the way to the end!

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_uck Me!

                                    Sci-Fi’s are my favorite! 

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The peacock is already taken

                                              said the Parrot

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The appositive noun will, said the snott-nosed motherfucking linguist bitch-ass, shiii!, presents a well of untapped puns, as it were, that I intend to exploit.

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Good comedians live in the rain

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The biggest perverts work to stink a certain way

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If Ambroise BEER was such a bad ass, where is his dictionary of incestuous and other fetish idioglossia as well as pornographic cant (special British pronunciations notwithstanding)?

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Fake shopping

At one or another point in your life, you have or will fake shop. This consists in browsing not necessarily even for the sake of looking let alone ever purchasing anything but may well be your ends to some other wholly unrelated event, such as waiting or camoflaging one's self simply so as not to stand out; really there could be any number of purposes behind fake shopping. The most relative point of fake shopping, however, is potentially lying. Lying, because one can no more admit to fake shopping than one can admit to camoflaging one's self or any more than one can reply to an assistant's offer to help that one only wants look at a person's butt or, say, not be totally bored for a duration of five minutes.

In light of this realiazation, I think someone should invent a new kind of store to address this untapped market. It could be a store for fake shopping and in it, the store clerk could arrange things that aren't surrounded by similarly organized products; which, as products, could all be radically different enough that fake shoppers might actually become real shoppers against their own will. This could be a way to expose the fake shopper, although theives may often misinterpret and retort honestly that they were only fake shopping. 

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Capy's log

Star date: 42736.9. 

An advanced alien species known as the Cykots has been discovered in the Drema-Helni sector. Among other peculiarities, they seem to hold to a hygienic principle of using a standing, white pole fixed to the walls of their lavatories on which they wipe their asses.

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In a committee last week

delegates from around the world mandated new competitions into the Olympic games, the first of which was hide and go seek, where whoever loses finishes up, with hide and go kill.