fully-automatic-ass
merely a humble woesie
596 posts
Sara • 15 • Any pronouns • Aroace • INTJ 5w6 • Desi (Indian) • we stand with Palestine 🇵🇸 •
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fully-automatic-ass · 7 hours ago
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Toys In Every Store | Luke x Reader
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1K+ words | GN! Reader | Familial/platonic relationship | CW: Absolutely none, I’m not a monster
Christmas tunes played over the speakers on the crowded snowy streets but the sounds of people bustling and cars honking nearly drowned it out.
You held Luke’s hand as you crossed the street, he was happily skipping and humming to himself.
He’d been overjoyed to be able to visit the human world with you and his excitement grew when he learned you’d be exploring the city during the Christmas season. Simeon thought this was a good idea. That way Luke could adjust to how humans celebrated Christmas—extremely commercialized.
Luke paused to point out every nativity scene he saw in the store windows or the lawn of the church in the middle of the city.
He skipped right along with your pace, not really caring to look around too much until he passed by a certain window and his eyes lit up. You felt resistance in your hand and stopped to see Luke glued to the store display.
It reminded you of the scene from Christmas Story. Propped against the back were Nerf guns, teddy bears, and toy soldiers. A train rode through everything with fake steam coming from the top of it.
Luke was far from the only child looking at it but he was certainly the most behaved as the other children flailed to stay longer or whined that they had to have that toy.
Luke gave you a hopeful look and you chuckled, “Wanna check out the store?” You suggested
Luke nodded eagerly, “Can we!?”
You nodded too and he jumped for joy as you waited for people to finish exiting the store so you could both slip in.
Luke let out an audible gasp as he took in his surroundings. You put your ear mits back on to block out the more annoying sounds in the store like screaming kids who didn’t get what they wanted.
Luke looked distressed at the children’s upset and gave them a bright smile which seemed to instantly calm them down. The parent with the upset toddler was so surprised at the sudden change from aggrieved to giggling that she turned right around to see Luke smiling and profusely thanked him.
Luke was embarrassed and hid behind you.
“You’re a good parent,” she told you with a grin. “He’s so well-mannered.”
You and Luke turned red and you mumbled words of thanks as Luke dragged you by the hand to the toy aisle.
You couldn’t wait to tell Simeon that Luke had been mistaken as your child. You couldn’t tell if the blush that stayed on Luke’s cheeks was from embarrassment or happiness. After all, Luke was actually your self-appointed guardian angel. Though he may be young he was often much wiser than you. You had Simeon’s guidance to thank for that.
You watched Luke examine the Brio Trains, Nerf Guns, teddy bears larger than the both of you, pottery sets, and mystery hatchimals.
“What are these?” He asked you holding a hatchimal proudly above his head.
“A stuffed animal,” you explained and he frowned.
“It doesn’t hatch into a real animal?” He asked and you nodded.
“This isn’t the Devildom, magic animals don’t live in the human world.”
“Unicorns do!”
“Wait what?”
Luke did not answer you as he was distracted by the remote-controlled Mario cars that looked similar to the ones in the game he always played with Levi.
“Want it?” You asked him after he held it for a while, the excited glimmer in his eyes not fading.
He gasped and looked at you. “You mean it!? Can I? It’s so expensive though!” He admitted and you realized it was nearly 100 USD and swallowed your words of regret.
You smiled instead and nodded and he cheered, “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You’re the best ___! An angel!” He exclaimed and you blushed as some parents looked at you, curious.
“Yeah, yeah,” you said quickly hoping he’d calm down.
You reached for a second car and grinned, “you’ll need someone to race against, won’t you?”
Luke cheered even more loudly. “I can’t wait! This is the best day ever! You’re the best ___!”
You shushed him embarrassed as he gave you a big hug. You carried the two cars to the checkout line. The poor cashier was overwhelmed as the lines reminded you of Disney and there were just two of them able to check people out.
When it was finally your turn Luke tried to pay with some of his allowance but you snatched it right back and handed over your card.
Luke pouted at not being allowed to help you when you were already being so generous but he quickly got over it when you handed him his car.
Luke grinned brightly the rest of the day and his allowance instead quickly disappeared into a donation bin guarded by a very grateful Santa.
When you finally returned home to Purgatory Hall Luke immediately showed Solomon, Taphale, and Simeon what you had both gotten and Simeon smiled and thanked you.
“Who are you going to race first?” Raphael asked looking at the cars.
“___! They got them for me after all! I want them to do the honors.”
Solomon chuckled at his cute response. “These are good quality. Let me know if they die quickly or not, I can just enchant them to keep running.”
Raphael gave him a side eye, worried about what such an enchantment would really do as these things easily gained sentience and went off the rails.
Simeon handed everyone food and said the blessing. As you sat there eating an idea popped into your head and you smiled widely enough that the others noticed.
“So, Simeon. Can I take your other kid out shopping too?”
Simeon raised an eyebrow, “pardon? My other kid?”
Solomon snorted so hard a noodle shot out his nose as he immediately realized who you meant.
“Yeah, Raphael.”
Raphael glared at you as Simeon nodded. “Yes. I’ll spare some change for you, I’m sure he’d love a Nerf gun or race car.”
“Ugh, spare me,” Raphael grumbled as Luke laughed.
It was a good end to a great day.
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fully-automatic-ass · 4 days ago
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I've made another plague beetle. i love doing this HSYSGFHRHFHH
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fully-automatic-ass · 10 days ago
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Do you ship it?
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reason under the cut, probably slight spoiler warning:
- Max fell asleep holding Caroline's shirt, and instead of waking Max Caroline cut her shirt. - They kissed - The way they interact with each other gives me flirting vibes - They're just really cute together - They kissed - THEY FUCKING KISSED (no they're not canon, in fact they're both apparently straight)
tag: @get-grubered
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fully-automatic-ass · 12 days ago
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📸 MAMMON ON THE MAJOLIS COVER 📸
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fully-automatic-ass · 12 days ago
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I need more obey me brothers comfort, like them interacting with each other
Such as Mammon helping Lucifer when Luci comes down with a fever, which results in Luci doing the same to Mammon when he gets sick next or Asmo doing a skincare routine with Catan or Beel eating junk food and belphie trying to stay up while Levi tries to teach them a new game
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fully-automatic-ass · 19 days ago
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Your tags make me cry I love them
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fully-automatic-ass · 21 days ago
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fully-automatic-ass · 1 month ago
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recently hit 5k followers
love y'all (the 25 active ones) <333
stripper skeleton be upon ye
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fully-automatic-ass · 1 month ago
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fully-automatic-ass · 1 month ago
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I want to make something very clear:
If you voted for Trump AT ALL. Get the fuck off my blog. Unfollow me immediately.
I don’t care why you did it and I’m not gonna bother explaining myself to you, because as long as I have rights, I will execute them.
This is a safe space and I will not let you taint it.
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fully-automatic-ass · 1 month ago
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when people put "trigger warning" on their content without specifying what the trigger warning is for
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fully-automatic-ass · 1 month ago
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If you ever need an accurate ship dymamic of how my MC and Lucifer act, just watch season 7 of House M.D.
House and Cuddy both act like Lucifer and my MC interchangeablably
I got back into house md I'm watching it unironically, I grew up with this show but and the fact it's trending on tiktok isn't helping
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fully-automatic-ass · 1 month ago
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fully-automatic-ass · 1 month ago
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ALL the blankets and pillows I own and this cat will ONLY sit on Diavolo
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fully-automatic-ass · 1 month ago
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“What’s up with you, Levi? Did you pull another all-nighter?”
“Mmm… Lord Diavolo and I were really into this game we were playing. We were in this dungeon, and we couldn’t seem to find the way out. We spent so long wandering around looking for an edit that before we knew it, the sun had come up…” *yawn*
“I’m impressed you can do that. I mean, I’d rather die than stay up all night.”
— Belphegor and Leviathan (Chapter 53-1)
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fully-automatic-ass · 2 months ago
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YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME. HOW CAN I OICK ONE
sighs and taps the sign
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fully-automatic-ass · 2 months ago
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"Can you go tell Mammon and Levi that dinner is ready? We're waiting on them." Lucifer decided this task was best left up to you.
Everyone else had turned up at the usual time and sat in their usual places. Beelzebub was salivating into his napkin and staring a hole into his plate. Satan had passed him a piece of pocket candy out of pity, which sated the Avatar of Gluttony for a whole three seconds.
The fact that everyone was willing to wait without immediately digging in showed just how highly they valued family. How heartwarming. You agreed to the task and got up before Beelzebub started flooding his seat.
Past the living room, down the hall, up the stairs. As you got closer to your destination, sounds got louder. Thuds, shaking furniture, shouts. They were coming from Mammon's room. You stopped in front of his door to assess the situation.
"Back off, nerd!" Nearby demonic power made the hair on your arms stand up.
"Tell me! Where," something slammed against the wall to your left, "is Beatra!?" A high pitched whistling noise signified the use of magic projectiles.
The situation had been assessed. It was a typical sibling spat. You knocked, loudly. Something wooden could be heard splintering to pieces with a loud crack.
"I told ya, I ain't seen your stupid toy!"
"She's a figurine! Rraaaghh!"
It wasn't exactly a hearty "come in," but that was your cue to intervene. You opened the door.
Leviathan was slumped face-up across a broken table with his older brother in a headlock. His hair was smoldering. His tail was throwing debris every which way while he smacked his brother's head like a drum. Mammon, meanwhile, was biting Leviathan's arm with the tenacity of a piranha. He was clawing at his younger brother and spastically flapping his wings, the spurs of which would get caught on Leviathan's clothes and leave scratch marks on his skin.
They didn't notice you walk in. You raised your voice and said, "hey. Dinner's ready."
The fighting immediately died down as the two looked up. Mammon's wings slowed to a flutter. Leviathan's grip relaxed. The malice in the air dissipated. They looked like two kids being caught red-handed stealing cookies from a jar.
"Like... right now?" Mammon asked.
"Yeah," you responded.
"Oh, okay. We'll be down in a minute," Leviathan assured you.
"You better, Lucifer's getting tired of waiting." With that simple yet effective warning, you exited the room. Looking at all the damage was making you anxious about the house's budget.
Once the door clicked shut, it wasn't long before the bickering resumed. Accusations of "this is all your fault!", "I know you took Beatra!", and "hurry and get up, idiot!" were hurled at one another as you made your way down the hall. You took your time, putting one foot casually in front of the other. There was a flurry of activity, but no violent continuation.
By the time you reached the stairs, Mammon and Leviathan flew out of the room and raced to catch up with you. Their demon forms were gone. Mammon panted, using what little breath he had left to ask "what's for dinner?" while Leviathan worked to blow the smoke in his hair away.
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