fruityastronaut

[fruityastronaut]

Lil Randall and Hershel drawing

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that 19th month cannibalistic bid for survival in the wilderness during misty quigley's teen years was literally just a detour on her inevitable one lane road towards murder and kidnapping in her adult years. i've said it before and i'll say it again misty was already like that. and i love her. misty came out of that harrowing experience smiling but disappointed they couldn't just stay there and eat each other forever.

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WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER (AFFECTIONATE)

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“Shauna won the idgaf war” she is 40 and still hallucinating her dead homoerotic teenage best friend…. She lost the war so bad she may never win anything ever again

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shauna shipman is so tragic to me because like...the girl who you shared your very being with dies and each segment of you that holds her is slowly rotting away. You sit beside her corpse and while your guilt and malice and devotion can hold her form, it won't feed your hunger. So you eat her ear, because you will always be the first to consume her, then the other girls eat her too because nothing gets to be yours alone when it comes to her. But her flesh feeds your baby, and when you give birth, she becomes part of him too. Then he dies too, and you bury him in the snow, so he can be yours alone, so he can know the cold like Jackie did. And then your rescued, and you latch onto anything that remains of her. Her favorite flower covers your walls, you see her parents every week, her boyfriend is yours and your daughter is her. And then you realise, they can be taken too. So you isolate yourself, let that severing wound she left become necrotic, because you've tried healing it with others, but it just takes them too. Then you meet a guy. He's funny and makes you feel young, and he's devoted to you the way she was. And that rotting wound begins to seal up. But you grow suspicious, and those months of fear fog your mind, and your scared, so you do what you know best. You bite. And now he's dead. And the wound is open again.

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when your circle small but y’all all crazy

[fruityastronaut]

Yellowjackets

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imagine being fully willing to TURN YOURSELF IN to protect your wife from being arrested for MURDERING A DUDE with whom she also had an AFFAIR and who she STABBED TO DEATH because she suspected him of doing the EXTORTION YOU DID TO HER FRIENDS to keep your FAILING FURNITURE STORE from going INSOLVENT because you need to provide for your GAY WIFE still pining over YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND who is now DEAD because gay wife ATE HER and your DAUGHTER WHO HATES YOU and looks nothing like you and instead like GAY WIFE’S CANNIBALIZED SAPPHIC SITUATIONSHIP but your wife doesn’t EVEN APPRECIATE THE FUCKING GESTURE because she thinks that you were CHEATING THE WHOLE TIME even though you are the ULTIMATE SELF DIAGNOSED MALEWIFE and OBSESSED WITH YOUR GAY WIFE and would never cheat and despite all that you are being OUT WIFE GUY’D by TAISSA FUCKING TURNER who RITUALLY SACRIFICED her son’s DOG in her BASEMENT and is CHEATING ON HER WIFE and somehow still a BETTER WIFE GUY THAN YOU. your name is JEFF SADECKI and your hairline is RECEDING.

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this should have been me

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why is no one talking about the complete lack of bisexual representation on sudoku.com

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(lights a cigarette) nobody even wants to play toys anymore. (puts the cigarette out on a play-dough ashtray) because of work.

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to this day possibly one of my best ideas. someone get me a pitch meeting with the hallmark channel

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the good, the bad. and the bear

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My other car is a rainbow trout

Stickers

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riverdale was not great because it asked what if everyone was gay. what if two girls who have never felt at home in their bodies or their (heterosexual) relationships were intergalactic soulmates the whole time. what if the homophobic cop and bigoted uncle were secretly together and got murdered by betty’s ex-half brother while cruising for a third. what if the ex-half brother was a cam boy criminal gay married to her real half brother fbi agent. what if the mommy issues caricature was a dominatrix and tormented her daughter because she had been taught that her own same-sex tendencies were “impure”. IT WAS GREAT BECAUSE THEY STILL FOUND THE TIME TO QUEERBAIT.