fruitmixtape

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samming out in my sketchbook rq

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Reblog for sample size

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my pieces for this year's Dean Cas Big Bang! based on @briston4274's fic The Things We Leave Behind

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my OC jadyn! he/she pronouns, never grew out of her tomboy phase

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Title: The Things We Leave behind

Author: Briston

Artist: Merv (fruitmixtape)

Rating: Mature

Pairings: Dean/Cas

Length: 52000

Warnings: minor character death, discussion of historical child abuse, substance use disorder.

Tags: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Divorce Arc, Bad Parent John Winchester, Alcohol Abuse, Rehab, Discussion of Cheating, Alcoholic Dean Winchester, Recovering Alcoholic Dean Winchester

Posting Date: October 31, 2023

Summary: Cas has been getting progressively worried about Dean’s drinking for a while but mentioning it only causes tension in their marriage. The sudden death of Dean’s father brings everything to the breaking point. After a particularly bad fight, his husband seeks solace in whiskey and flirty women in the aftermath. When Cas finds out, he decides he’s had his fill, packs his bags, and leaves. Sam lives in California and has built a career as a well respected addictions counselor. When Cas calls to tell him that Dean is missing on a bender and their marriage is likely over, he drops everything to come to Kansas to find his brother. Dean clearly needs help. Sam convinces him to go with him to California and go through a rehab program. Dean only agrees because Cas refuses to have anything to do with him unless he stops drinking permanently. If he can't, their marriage is finished. Along the way, Sam and Dean discover that their father left them with more than just painful memories of a traumatic childhood. Their half-brother Adam might be exactly who they need to help pull all the fractured pieces together. Cas is giving Dean one last chance to turn things around. Nothing is easy, but maybe it’s still worth fighting for.

Excerpt: “You know the only difference that would have made was that you would be as miserable as he was.” Cas grabbed both of their toothbrushes and toothpaste from the ensuite bathroom, tossing Dean’s his way. “I could’ve tried harder to get him to quit, go to rehab or something.” The toiletries went in the bag with some deodorant, a flannel, and some denim. He shot Cas a dirty look when he heard him huff in exasperation. “How many times did you ask him to quit? Remember when Sam flew in for an intervention? He’s a professional addictions counselor and the only thing that happened was that Sam flew home with a black eye and a refusal to ever come back.” “That’s just because they’re too much alike and can’t stop themselves from fighting.” Dean was starting to raise his voice. Cas wasn’t having any of it. “No,” he knew he sounded snarky as shit but was so very tired of having the same argument about John Winchester’s parenting skills. “It’s because your father is a narcissistic asshole with undiagnosed mental health issues that he self-medicates with whiskey.” Dean walked around the bed to where Cas was and grabbed his arm. The grip wasn’t rough but it wasn’t gentle either. His green eyes were anguished and pleading.   “Don’t say that, he could be dying right now.” Somewhere deep down Cas knew he should be feeling guilty about just how little empathy he had for John right then. He’d feel more compassion for a complete stranger than he did for the man who had hurt Dean again and again, both as a child and as an adult. He felt a small flash of resentment at having to defend Dean from his own negative thinking. “It was always going to be this way with him, Dean. Every counselor you’ve ever had has told you the same thing for years. You are not responsible for fixing him. Don’t kill yourself trying to be accepted by someone who doesn’t even deserve you.”

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

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tim and ghost!jay doodles on my break

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silly little james sketch

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thirty flirty and dying ♡

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guy is guying

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figuring out the guys :)

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wip with a fish

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two little jays, red faced and in trouble

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arthur is a horse boy btw

(aka some things never change and i wanted to draw more mullet teen arthur)

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so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone's blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it's just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else's apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch

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this is not a tutorial this is just me rambling

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Hello!! 🥰🐌

So I recently hit a follower milestone and I made you guys vote and you decided we should use this as an opportunity to have an event, so here it is!

The goal is just to have fun and be creative, and the event is open to anyone (you don't have to be following me!)

The event will take place on August 14-18 🗓️

I reserve the right not to reblog submissions that make me uncomfortable, but I trust you guys <3

You can use #queerstudiesnatural2k for all of your creations, and of course tag me in your posts as well so I can be sure to see all of them!!

Here are the prompts for each day:

Aug 14: Sam (+ gender? <- suggestion but not an obligation, any Sam content is welcome)

Aug 15: DeanJo (in any shape or form, it can be romantic, bestfriendly, queerplatonic, etc)

Aug 16: Eileen + orange/pink/brown

Aug 17: Broadwaynatural 🎭🎶

Aug 18: Arts and crafts day!!! Make something with your own hands!! It can be anything (crochet, sculpting, collage, even just a physical drawing) and it doesn't even have to be spn-related (although it can be if that's what inspires you)! Just create a physical object, because that's good for the soul <3 Maybe this is your sign to start that project you wanted to start but have been putting off 👀

See you then, and happy creating! 🎨

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red and blue, clint journal page (inspired by @sunny-rants’ post x)