frosem-2 - Tumblr blog

[frosem-2]

“I wish to wake with you next to me,” she said, “to know that you will stay. People have a tendency to get out of bed one morning and change their minds and at times, love begins to feel temporary. Where does it go if not here?” He looked up at the clouds slowly passing by and pointed, “It stays for a while, and it passes. But it comes back. I think that if you loved once, you can love again.”

Stories I’ll tell one day #104 – Ming D. Liu (via mingdliu)

[frosem-2]

Blueberry Lime-Aid Slushy

Ingredients

2 ozs frozen blueberries

1/3 lime

2/3 tbsp honey

1/3 cup ice

1/3 cup lemon-lime soda (Use Diet Soda to lower the calories)

Place all ingredients into high powered blender of choice. Blend until well combined and slushy. Taste with a spoon and if it’s too tart for you, add a couple spoonfuls of granulated sugar to sweeten up. Pour into individual glasses and add lemon-lime soda over top.

Calories: 120 (if using regular soda)

[frosem-2]

Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte (Vegan)

Calories: 46

Fat: 2.5g. (healthy almond fats!)

Ingredients

1c. unsweetened almond milk

1/4c. pumpkin puree (canned or fresh)

1/4t. cinnamon

1/4t. pumpkin pie spice

pinch of nutmeg

1 packet of stevia (or other sweetener to taste)

1/2c. hot strong brewed coffee (you can add more or less, depending on how coffee-y you want it.)

Directions: 

Combine spices, almond milk, and pumpkin. Microwave for 2 minutes and 30 seconds, or until very hot. (Microwave times may vary.) 

Take it out and blend with my, I mean your, trusty immersion blender. You do have your trusty immersion blender ready, yes?

Good.

But if you don’t, I forgive you. And just to prove how much I like you, I’m going to say you can just use a regular old blender here instead. You still have to clean it, though.

Sorry. I can’t do everything.

Now top with some of your favorite whipped topping, dairy or not, and bid Starbucks goodbye.

[frosem-2]

Cake Batter Ice Cream!

  Ingredients:

¼ tsp pure vanilla extract: 0 Calories

scant 1/16 tsp salt (don’t omit): 0 Calories

sweetener (such as 1 stevia packet): 0 Calories

1/2 tbsp Rita’s sprinkles: 17.5

1 cup almond milk: 40 Calories

¼ tsp watkins butter extract: 3 calories

Total: 60.5 Calories

Mix the ingredients together in 1 or 2 shallow plastic containers. Freeze. (You can also use an ice cube tray.) Once frozen, pop the blocks out of the container (I thaw for 30 seconds in the microwave first) and blend (in blender)

[frosem-2]

I don't remember ever being comfortable with my body.

[frosem-2]

What is it you want? A Broadway show? A "reality" TV series? A video with 50 million views? A million subscribers/followers? A photo album of Victoria Secret models? A yacht? A house next to Miley Cyrus? A lifetime supply of Warped Tour tickets? A city named after you? A country named after you? A religion where people worship you? A planet just for you? I cant give you everything. But I will promise you this: Im not going anywhere, I want to be part of your life, You mean somethin to me, Im gonna treat you the right way, And when I say im gonna give it my all, I mean it. I dont think youre a joke. But were all human and life is hard. The only thing we can do is our best. Breathe. Relax. Its okay.

[frosem-2]

Ya know, sometimes its really hard battling your depression, anxiety, OCD, ADHD, ED, and so on. No one really gets it. You sit in your room for a few hours because you just need a break to distract your mind. When you dont distract yourself, your depression makes you wanna crawl in a hole and sleep in there forever. Your anxiety causes your thoughts to constantly swirl around making your heart and head hurt. Your OCD is going insane and every small thing that wasnt in the same place that it was yesterday, or every light switch left on, or every door left slightly open, or every object not sitting straight, it just makes your mind go insane and you cant focus which then causes your ADHD to work alongside your OCD so you sit there constantly thinking about different things. Heck, you cant even read a short passage and grasp a single sentences meaning. Your ED causes you to want food but then its like wait wait wait, eating that hamburger is about 300 calories, you might gain 3 ounces, so do you really want it? They all work together. No one understands what its like to have more than one thing causing you to not want to wake up most days. You have strived for happiness for years. Yet, no matter how close you get, the illnesses take over. No one knows what its like to feel numb and tired and broken for 5 years straight.. Im tryin.. ive been tryin.. im sorry...

[frosem-2]

Insomnia isnt tossing and turning for a few minutes because you drank too much coffee for bed. Its staring at the cieling, over thinking every single thing you’ve ever done and not being able to shut your burning eyes because you’re too afraid of what awaits you in your mind.

Depression isnt slamming doors, dramatic therapy sessions, and yelling at your parents that they “dont get it”. Its crying without knowing why because you hurt so much. Its not talking for days because you dont feel motivation to open your mouth to speak. Its an emptiness inside you that knaws at your heart and stomach till your clutching yourself and screaming. Its unter hoplessness and not having motivation to do the most neccesary things.

Anxiety isnt refusing to go anywhere because youd rather stay home and watch netflix. Its getting panic attacks in public places because there are too many people and its too loud. Its overthinking everything you do because it will always make atleast one person unhappy. Its not being yourself because youre afraid what people think of you. Its not texting someone when you need them because you think youre annoying and they hate you. Its never asking for what you need because you think youre too demanding.

Self harm isnt boys kissing your wrists. Its slicing your wrists with a blade and sobbing but feeling numb still as the blood pours out and you sit in a pool of your blood. Its ugly scars and stinging shocks when water touches your marked skin. Its blood soaked bandages and blood stained sheets.

Anorexia isnt a slim super model who diets and has a thigh gap. Its a frail, yellowing, sucken in, hairy, malnutritioned, skeleton waking up in a hospital because you starved yourself to the brink of death. Its not eating for days and growing hair in places you never grew before to warm your decaying, breaking body. Its bruising at the slightest touch because your body is weak and cant take anything anymore. 

Bulimia isnt a pretty girl bending over a toilet after lunch. Its eating and eating and eating till you cant eat anymore then vomiting till you pass out covered in cold sweat and tears. Its bad breath, sore throats, and yellowing teeth.

Scuicide isnt a young girl jumping off a building because she had a bad day. Its not a boy who hung himself because a girl didnt love him. Scuicide is not romantic. Its a girl planning out her funeral and repeatedly planning out her scuicide to the key because this world is filthy and horrid and she cant bear to go on. Its locking the bathroom door and taking all the pills in that god damn bottle with a well written out note or two.

Theses are the truths. Please stop telling kids they are over reacting when they show these signs. Its not like the movies. Stop.

[frosem-2]

Photographs

Photographs. 📷 Color filled pixels that tend to create beautiful works of art. We take pictures because while taking those pictures, in that moment, everything is perfect. Time stands still. You have a smile on your face and even if it is a fake smile, its a smile. And when things get rough, we look back at those pictures and remember the amazing time we had that day. You get lost in the beauty of a moment. You almost feel like you could go back to that day with time still standing still and just reflect on the beauty in that one frozen moment. We carry them with us because looking at those pictures somehow cause you to feel at home. Photographs. Pixels of color filled with frozen memories and a road that leads you home.

[frosem-2]

Never Again.

I trusted you with every broken piece of me. I gave you a second chance and a third chance and you blew both of them. I gave you my heart. I gave you my trust. I gave you everything I had left in me. You were my everything. People always gave me so many reasons why I shouldn't get involved with you But no matter what, I always gave you the benefit of the doubt. Now, I know that I should have ran the opposite direction. But you made me feel invincible and you told me I was beautiful and you told me I was yours and only yours. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. Then I realized, I was just another one of your experiments. Maybe I was just too much to handle. Or maybe I just wasn't enough. You used me over and over. I am nothing to you. Now I realize, I never was. I was just another girl. You used to be my favorite color. It was a mixture of the color of the shimmering light in your eyes. The color of your red mustang. The color of your glistening brown eyes. The color of your soft, brown hair. You loved my green pillow and my green shirt. Your favorite color was green. Now i hate the rays of sunlight shooting down from the sky because it reminds me of the light in your eyes. Now I hate rubies because they remind me of the beautiful red paint glistening in the moonlight. Now I hate looking at my eyes because my brown eyes will never be as beautiful as yours. Now I hate my hair because it will never feel as soft as yours. Now I hate my pillow and my shirt because they remind me of your favorite color and your favorite color reminds me of you. Everything reminds me of you. Now I see your true colors. The color of the black tar that envelops your lungs. The color of her pink chapstick on your cheek. The color of the raging fire inside your heart slowly turning you into a person that I never thought you would be. When I fell in love with you, you were the sweet, caring, loving guy that didn't want to hurt anyone and brought smiles to everyone's faces. Now, I don't even think I know who you are.

[frosem-2]

“What you must understand about me is that I am a deeply unhappy person.” -John Green “Looking For Alaska” 🌼

[frosem-2]

I love the quote in Paper Towns about the town being paper. Its true. We all do the same things every day. We are all paper people going to paper schools or going to work at paper buildings or driving a paper truck. We all say we are a certain way when really, we are just paper looking for words to cover the paper so that we dont look so plain. We are crumbled paper that has been wadded up and attempted to be straightened out. We get torn up easily and get tossed and kicked around all the time. At the end of the day, we are all just paper people going about our paper lives looking for another piece of paper to try and fix ourselves which never works.

[frosem-2]

When I said goodbye, I meant it. So please, don't try to walk right back into my life because I'm sorry but i don't want you back in it.

[frosem-2]

I just want to mean something to someone for once.

[frosem-2]

when someone really wants to facetime you but you would rather watch netflix cx

[frosem-2]

If you want me to be happy, then do me a favor and stop talkin crap. Thanks 👌💩

[frosem-2]

Im sorry that I couldnt make you happier. I wasnt strong enough for the both us. Now youre gone. Happy. With someone twenty times better. And im here. Depressed. Again. Stuck in my own thoughts because I cant talk to you. I thought i was over you. But im not unless its just the overwhelming sadness taking over me making me feel like i need someone to make me feel whole again. But you dont care. Because now you have what you have always wanted. Im just another one of your rocks. You found a bigger and better one so you dropped me and took the better one. Now im broken into even smaller pieces because i fell too hard.