fromlotuswithlove

[fromlotuswithlove]

Soul ties are metaphysical bonds formed between two people as a result of time and (physical, emotional, and/or spiritual) vulnerability. Although not limited to sexually intimate relationships, soul ties are often associated with the exchange of energy we experience during sex. Like almost all concepts related to human interaction, soul ties can have positive and negative ramifications.

While soul ties often create unique bonds, unforgettable experiences, and earth-shattering orgasms, unhealthy soul ties are common. Typically the result of creating life-long attachments within short-term relationships, these bonds remain intact long after a relationship is over and often leave both partners longing for wholeness.

Here are some signs of an unhealthy soul tie:

⠀⠀• You are in a physically, and/or emotionally, and/or spiritually abusive relationship, but you “feel” so attached to them that it’s difficult to cut off the connection and set boundaries.

⠀⠀• You have left a relationship, but you think about the other person obsessively.

⠀⠀• Whenever you do anything – make a decision, have a conversation with someone etc., you “feel” like this person is with you or watching you.

⠀⠀• When you have sex with someone else, you find yourself visualizing the person you have a soul tie with.

⠀⠀• You inherit the negative traits of the person that your soul is tied to and carry their offenses whether or not you actually agree with them.

⠀⠀• You defend your right to stay in a relationship with the person that your soul is tied to, even though it is negatively effecting or even destroying the important relationships in your life.

⠀⠀• You have simultaneous experiences and/or “moods” as the person your soul is tied to. This can even include sickness, accidents, addictions etc.

Via Kris Vallotton

For what it’s worth, one @Twitter user believes that sex with a condom thwarts the exchange of energy required for souls to become entangled during sex. While some @LotusFlowerFemme readers agree; “I’ve never felt inclined to pull up on nigga that I had condom sex with” and “Condoms keep your soul intact” others disagree; “Energy is stronger than a condom” and “Any time you engage in sex, there is the possibility of a soul tie”. Others will need a bit more convincing “Dick in a plastic wrapper with soul snatching super powers…I’m nervous”.

What are your thoughts? Does the use of condoms affect the energy exchange during sex? What has been your experience with sex with and without a condom? Do you think it's possible to have sex and not exchange energy? Have you ever had to break an unhealthy soul tie? How did you do it?

Join the conversation now! Share your thoughts here + check out my story for more on condoms and soul ties.

As always, @LotusFlowerFemme promotes the use of protection during sexual intercourse to avoid the transmission of STIs and unplanned pregnancies.

📸: @nyejahdavis

[fromlotuswithlove]

The SlutBox Guide To Easing Into Kink & BDSM

The following article appears as part of an ongoing collaboration between @LotusFlowerFemme x @MySlutBox by @AmberRose

So You’re Curious About Bondage…

You’re not alone, babe. A recent survey by LELO of 10,000 women found that 47% of respondents have experimented with bondage. If the thought of chains and whips excites you, read on for SlutBox’s guide to easing into the sexxxxy world of kink and BDSM!

What Is BDSM?

BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Submission and Masochism. Boiled down, this means: being restrained, being dominated and made to submit to your partner’s demands (and being disciplined when you don’t), and deriving sexual pleasure from inflicting differing levels of pain. Sounds scary? Before you exit out of this browser window and speed off to church, just wait. The most important thing to remember about BDSM is that the level of intensity is completely up to you and your partner(s)! At any time, any of these elements may be removed. As with anything in the bedroom, take things one step at a time and do what you feel comfortable with. BDSM is a part of sexual play, and the whole point is pleasure. BDSM should feel good for you and your partner(s)!

BDSM & Consent

Before you break out the ropes and ball gags, you and your partner(s) need to negotiate what’s going to happen. In that negotiation, you have to talk about consent. Be up front and talk to your partner about what you’re interested in exploring and what your fantasies are. Just as importantly, communicate what your hard limits are. Just because you’re saying “yes” to bondage or exploring a kink doesn’t mean you’re saying “yes” to everything that happens after you’re in bondage.

Safe Word First

Part of the negotiation process is establishing a safe word (or a few safe words) with your partner(s). In BDSM, a safe word is something other than “no” “don’t” “stop” or any other word you might normally use to tell someone to slow down. This is because sometimes, those words are part of the play. Instead, pick a word that wouldn’t usually come up in the context of sex. An easy suggestion? “Yellow” and “red.” Yellow meaning that you’re getting close to your edge where you know something doesn’t feel right, you’re starting to feel uncomfortable, or this is basically as much as you can take. “Red” means that you’re totally done with the scene or the experience and you want to be untied, released, etc.

Know Your Body

Do you have a bad back? Does your partner have a bum knee, or a condition like epilepsy? These are all important things to take into account before anyone gets tied up. Mental health is just as important as physical health. If someone has experienced trauma, language can become a trigger when you’re playing. For example, some people enjoy what’s called “slut play,” which is essentially dirty talk that uses words that are generally considered to be humiliating or degrading. While this can be fun or feel naughty, some words can be a trigger, or bring up insecurities. Discuss any triggers before you start, and keep communicating if anything comes up as you go.

Start With Sensory Play

BDSM doesn’t have to mean whips and paddles. You can start off gently, and keep things sweet and flirty with some sensory play. Try blindfolding your partner – blindfolds are less intimidating than ropes or handcuffs, and restricting sight is a sexy way to heighten sensation and shed inhibitions. Once your partner is blindfolded, tease their body head to toe with a tickler (like the Tickle Me Tickler by Bijoux Indescrets from the June SlutBox) or simply use your tongue, teeth and fingertips.

Rope Safety 101

The most important rule for beginner’s bondage safety? Keep ropes loose enough to fit two fingers between the rope and your partner’s skin. Keep a pair of safety scissors like these on hand, in case your partner needs to be cut out of the ropes quickly. If you’re the person being tied up, be sure to tell your partner when you’re experiencing tingling in your fingers, toes or anywhere else. Tingling could be a sign that the rope is too tight, or that you’re not in a comfortable position. Light tingling is fine for about 20 minutes. You should be able to move and struggle against the rope, and move the rope around on your skin. Your hands should be tied below your heart, in a comfortable position. Oh, and stick with sturdy nylon rope that moves nicely against the skin and won’t give you or your partner(s) rope burns.

Don’t Forget Aftercare

The session isn’t over until you’ve sat down for some aftercare. Aftercare simply means sitting down with your partner(s) and talking about what you did and didn’t like. This is especially important for beginners, since you might not know what about bondage turns you on yet. Aftercare can last days – if something comes up three days later, share that with your partner or at least write it down in a journal so you can keep tabs on your experience.

📸: @bennierose

This article originally appeared on Slutblog by Amber Rose: https://myslutbox.com/kink-101-slutbox-guide-to-easing-into-kink-bds

Join the SlutBox squad today! Use the code 'LOTUS' - for 10% off the monthly SlutBox subscription!

[fromlotuswithlove]

#CoreEroticThemes

Last week, @ForiaWellness explored the notion of a core erotic theme, as introduced by Jack Morin in The Erotic Mind.

⠀⠀Core erotic themes are intelligent, subconscious responses to the emotional climate we encountered during our formative years. They are threads that reoccur as our sexuality develops and expresses itself throughout our lives. The things that turn us on may seem strange or unrelated to our lives outside of sex but chances are, if you dig deep enough they have some relevance and connection to things you desire, want to heal, or qualities that need your attention.

⠀⠀Try this: Think back on your peak sexual experience(s), the unforgettable moments where you remember feeling the most turned-on. It may be a situation that involved sex, although some peak encounters don’t. Other encounters are completely visual and no clothing is removed.

What about that experience stands out to you? Do you notice a pattern where this particular aspect had significance in other peak sexual experiences or sexual fantasies?

Can you think of why this aspect appeals to you? Does it make you feel desired, worshipped, devious, in control, submissive, powerful, or something else?

⠀⠀It is through pinpointing these feelings that you will identify underlying themes in your most arousing turn-ons.

Exercise via @BetterSexEd

[fromlotuswithlove]

Fire, Desire, & Arousal?

“I have an old work fling I can’t stop fantasizing about! It’s been two years since we’ve been intimate. I’m in a relationship and don’t want anything from him but my pussy says otherwise. Whenever I’m in his presence, I’m wet almost immediately. I can’t help but imagine him inside of me. Is it possible to feel horny with no desire to have sex?”

In the context of sexual pleasure, we tend to use the concepts of desire and arousal interchangeably, but the truth is, they represent different processes.

Desire is our psychological yearning for sex. Think: your sex drive/libido. We feel desire and the emergence of chemical energy when we make eye contact with the fine ass stranger from across the room or when we watch someone start to undress in front of us and we can’t wait to get our hands on them. Desire can scream, “I need you, right now!” or it can make the pussy purr, “hmmm, that sounds nice.” Desire is constantly changing and evolving like most aspects of our sexuality.

Arousal encompasses the physiological processes that occur when your body is ready for sex — think the physical symptoms of horniness. For women, arousal involves vaginal lubrication, engorgement of the labia, and/or swelling of the clitoris. For men, this includes tightening and lifting of the scrotum, increased blood flow to the genitals, and erection. Both sexes can experience an increased heart rate, sweating, skin flushing, and hardening of the nipples. Arousal is also responsible for a heightened threshold of pain.

Although typically considered to be interconnected, desire and arousal may function independently. Women may have difficulty getting wet even if they want to be intimate with their partner, and their bodies may experience arousal even when they have no desire to be intimate. Men may experience erections without actually wanting to be intimate or be unable to get an erection despite a desperate desire to have sex.

Pro tip: Desire and arousal isn’t always about the physical act of sex. In fact, the anticipation of sex can be even more powerful.

Here are five ways to build anticipation (even when sex isn’t practical):

Employ the power of suggestion.

Use mystery to your advantage. Keep him (or her) guessing.

Lingering eye-contact.

Mental stimulation (read: mental penetration)

Be a tease. Use your hands. Pin your lover up against a wall, kiss them, and walk away.

📸: Unknown

[fromlotuswithlove]

Is This Your Kink?

Me and my nigga after a morning full of nasty shit 🤤😛

With over 200 recognized sexual fetishes, there’s something out there for all of us! From accidental stimulation to knife play, the possibilities are endless.

While #fetishes are considered to be NECESSARY for arousal, #kinks are simply preferences.

Kinks may involve arousal towards:

⠀⠀• Body parts like feet, butt, hair, breasts, hands, armpits, and elbows.

⠀⠀• Objects like shoes, lingerie, panties, metal processing machines, and enemas.

⠀⠀• Substances like urine, feces, blood, and food toppings.

⠀⠀• Scenarios like BDSM (bondage, domination & submission, sadism, masochism), sexual role-playing: e.g. naughty librarian, human furniture, exhibitionism, group sex, swinging, voyeurism, abduction, rubber or leather costumes, spanking, cross-dressing, listening to water or being in it, adult baby nursing, and much more!

Have you discovered your kinks? How? Has it drastically improved your sex life? Are you comfortable communicating them to a partner? Did anything on the list surprise you? Are there any kinks you’d like to know more about?

Check out my story for a game called “Is This Your Kink?” There are 30 to choose from! There’s bound to be something for you! Find out what other @LotusFlowerFemme readers are into + you can also find my answers there!

⠀⠀

📸: Unknown

[fromlotuswithlove]

#FunFactFriday: Penis Problems

Hey there, King, this one’s for you...

Here are some facts you should know about some of the most common #penisproblems:

⠀⠀1. Delayed ejaculation: Doctors report that about 33% of men are so used to watching porn when they masturbate, they find it difficult to orgasm with their partner. Other causes include: anxiety, depression, stress, and urinary tract infections.

⠀⠀2. Premature ejaculation: Defined as ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation before, on, or immediately after penetration and before the person desires it. About 25% of men cum within two minutes of sex. Doctors suggest kegel exercise to help increase endurance.

⠀⠀3. Dry orgasm: It’s possible to climax but not ejaculate, which can be an issue if attempting to conceive. Typically related to conditions like diabetes, blockages, or pelvic-surgery complications and requires medical attention.

⠀⠀4. Erectile dysfunction: Defined as the inability to maintain an erection, approximately 40% of men will experience some form of erectile dysfunction by the age of 40.

⠀⠀The following factors are likely to contribute: stress, depression, performance anxiety, medication, excessive drinking, and smoking. Drinking before sex reduces blood flow to your dick and lessens the intensity of orgasms.

⠀⠀ Treatments include prescription medication (e.g. Viagra - 👀 hey Julius), penis pumps, penile implant, sex therapy, supplements, and natural remedies.

⠀⠀ 5. Peyronie’s Disease: A condition in which a man’s penis bends too far to the left or right (10 degrees or more) causing painful erections. Affecting about 3 to 9 percent of the male population, Peyronie’s can be caused by repeated trauma (as in sports injuries, horseback riding, or bicycle riding), rough sexual activity, or prostate surgery.

As always, be sure to consult a medical doctor if you have any symptoms of concern. Also, be open with your partner about what you’re experiencing! Partners, be open to listening.

@LotusFlowerFemme advocates for healthy dicks 24/7, 365.

⠀⠀

📸: Unknown

[fromlotuswithlove]

Talk Dirty To Me: The Art of Seductive Communication

The following article appears as part of an ongoing collaboration between @LotusFlowerFemme x @MySlutBox by @AmberRose

Dirty talk is an easy, sexy, and creative way to spice things up with bae! Maybe you’ve already mastered sexting (or straight-up phone sex if you’re old school), but in real life, the stakes are higher and it can be scary! Trust me, you don’t have to be the most confident or experienced person to get into dirty talk. So… let’s get started.

Start Out Slow

If you’re nervous to start talking dirty, you might spit out the filthiest thing you can think of. This might kill the mood by either offending your partner or shocking them out of a sexy mindset. As with any sexual activity, take it slow and ease into it.

Make Sure They’re Into It

While dirty talk is a big turn on for a lot of us, it’s not for everyone. So how can you tell if bae is into it? The best indicator is when they return the favor. If you tell them “I love touching your body” and they hit you back with “I love your fingers inside of me” you know you’re on the right track. Even if they don’t reciprocate verbally, you can usually tell by moaning or changes in body language. Pay attention to how your partner responds, and if they’re into it – keep it up.

So… What should I say?

Before you even get into dirty talk, let your partner know you’re feeling it with some moans. (Moaning is sexy af, and lets your partner know that whatever they’re doing feels great.) An easy place to start is with encouragement – tell your partner exactly how good what they’re doing feels. (Example: “I love when you do that” or “You feel so good inside me”)

Q&A Time

Another way to ease into seductive communication is by asking bae a question about what you’re doing and what they’d like you to do next. For example: “Do you like the way I suck your dick? or “Where do you want you want me to cum?” Another approach is telling your boo what you’re going to do to them, and then follow up by asking what they want to do to you. Example: “I’m going to run my tongue along your body until you’re gasping for air… what do you want to do to me?” (Pro tip: this is a great way to learn what your partner really wants!)

Adapt Dirty Talk To Your Partner

Like most things, dirty talk is not one size fits all. Your ex might have loved being called “daddy” or maybe they got off on degrading or humiliating sex talk (ex: “You love that don’t you? You dirty bitch”) Just as you wouldn’t recycle a pet name, don’t try the same lines on everyone. Evolve your dirty talk to fit your current partner.

Don’t Wait Till You’re In Bed

Dirty talk can be game-changing between the sheets, but a random “I want you so bad” text in the middle of the day can really set the mood for later.

It’s OK To Be Nervous!

If you’re new to dirty talk, it’s normal to feel anxious, self-conscious, or absolutely ridiculous. Acknowledge those feelings, but don’t let them stop you from testing your boundaries and trying something new in bed. Who knows – it may lead to the best fuck of your life.

Cat Got Your Tongue?

Not sure what to say? Borrow some of these lines:

Before Sex

I need you right now

Just wait till we get home…

I can’t wait to be alone with you

I can’t wait to have you inside me/I can’t wait to be inside you

I’m so hard/wet/hot right now

You look so fucking good I can’t wait to get you home

Guess what I’m wearing under this

I’ve been thinking about fucking you all day

During Sex

Don’t stop!

I’m about to cum!

Deeper/harder/faster

Right there

I want to make you cum

I love your body

Your body/pussy/dick/etc. is perfect

You feel so good

I want you to beg for it

I love how hard/wet you are

You like that, don’t you?

Pull my hair

Spank me

Make me beg for it

After Sex

That was amazing

You made me cum so hard

I can still taste/smell you/feel you inside me

I can’t stop thinking about last night

Are you a master of seduction? Do you enjoy dirty talk? What are your go-to lines? Check out some of ours here!

📸: @akilahreleford

The original version of this article appeared on Slutblog x Amber Rose.

[fromlotuswithlove]

Big Dick Energy

THIS is the kind of energy I need from my nigga!

I LOVE assertive men! Men that can dominate without aggression. Command attention without disrespect. But will turn up if need be. They are also devoted and not afraid to be affectionate. They’re passionate. Intense. You feel protected in their presence. Anddddd that usually translates to bomb ass sex. There is just something about them.

Do you agree? Do you look for any of these qualities in your partner? What is important to you? What are some things you’re willing to compromise on? Let’s chat! Share your thoughts here!

📸: @mr2weeksout & @mrs2weeksout

[fromlotuswithlove]

So...What Are We?

Navigating Situationships with @LotusFlowerFemme

Many of us have experienced the agony of having to have the “What are we?” conversation with someone we’re dating. Typically, up until that point, the “relationship” lacks a formal definition or no longer fits comfortably within the boundaries of a previous definition. In the world of millennial dating, we commonly refer to dating in this gray area as a “situationship”

Let’s explore the art of navigating situationships while keeping our options open.

“What’s understood, ain’t gotta be explained”Situationships are those friendships that definitely are more than friendships but are not quite a relationship either. Like there’s love there but we’re not in love. Sounds confusing? I know. Try being in one.

Dick too BOMB! In most cases, sex is the binding force between two individuals in a situationship. While emotional attachment is unfeasible, physical intimacy is a necessary component. Sex within a situationship is oftentimes the cure to intermittent loneliness.

Communication is key. Be clear with what you want. Manage expectations by being transparent and honest about your intentions. Ensure that your partner understands that you expect the same in return.

Catch flights. Not feelings. If neither of you have intentions on making something more out of your situationship then it’s best to not get attached. I know, I know. Much easier said than done, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Catching flights is a great alternative to catching feelings & @LittleBlueBookTravel can help arrange that!

“I don’t need your situation” Know your worth. Lacking a specific title does not mean you don’t deserve respect. If your partner insists on treating you as if you are disposable, show them what life is like without you. Respect is non-negotiable.

Set boundaries and adhere to them consistently. Ladies, if you are not in a relationship, don’t do things you would only do for your man. It sends the wrong message and misconstrues the boundaries that you worked so hard to establish. If you set boundaries and then decide you want to adjust them, it’s important to have those conversations as well.

Be honest with yourself. If you’re uncomfortable being in relationship without titles, don’t pretend that you are. If you aren’t honest with yourself, you’re more prone to shattered expectations and hurt feelings. If you are looking for a relationship, don’t enter a situationship with the hope that it will turn into more.

Keep the same energy. Even situationships are based on reciprocal energy. Meet your partner where they are. If you feel like your efforts aren’t being reciprocated, it may be time to reassess. It’s cool, sis. Players fuck up too.

Protect yourself! Whether you decide to be exclusive or not, use protection. Nothing will complicate a situationship more than a baby or an STI. Trust me.

Keep your options open! There is nothing worse than dropping all your niggas for one nigga that ends up not being THE nigga, you know? So do yourself a favor and keep up with your roster. Check in every now and then. You never know when you’ll have to bench your starter. Pro-tip: Build your roster’s efficiency by ensuring others fulfill the specific needs that your starter may not.

Choose yourself every time.

Are you currently navigating a situationship? What do you think? Do you have tips for others entering similar situations? What advice would you give your younger self about venturing into the gray area? What have you learned in the process? Share your experiences here!

📸: Unknown

[fromlotuswithlove]

Recognizing Sex as a Coping Mechanism

Coping mechanisms are ways in which we manage, adapt to, or act upon external or internal stress. Coping typically occurs in response to stress, trauma, grief, loss, and other difficult emotions.

A coping mechanism could be described as a type of addiction. Like most habits, coping mechanisms have an addictive quality to them; we feel some degree of compulsion and experience some level of difficulty in resisting them. We tend to use coping mechanisms as a distraction; on as a means of avoiding stress.⠀⠀

As it relates, many of us have unknowingly used sex to cope with the stress of entering adulthood, ending relationships, fear of the unknown, and even financial instability. While sex offers a pleasurable escape, a rush of dopamine, and a powerful opportunity to connect with another person, it’s important that we recognize that it can become maladaptive. Engaging in maladaptive coping may have a negative impact on your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.

Here are five signs that you may be using sex to cope:

Seeking out sexual pleasure as a distraction

Using sex to fill a void

Anonymous sexual partnering - Choosing sexual partners who are one-night stands allows us to avoid emotional attachment. It also presents a unique opportunity for control.

Danger Seeking - When sex is used to cope and combined with the onset and intensity of grief/loss, dangerous or painful sex can be sought out, as a means to counteract numbness.

Desiring intense connections - Sexual urges can be intense and insistent; obsessive thinking about stress/loss is often abated during sex.

If you find yourself using sex as maladaptive coping mechanism, recognizing the issue is the first step to reframing your perspective. You should also determine the root cause of your need to cope, adapt healthy coping mechanisms, cultivate healthy connections, and seek professional help, if necessary.

Here is a list of healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms!

Healthy coping mechanisms include:

Mediation

Relaxation

Exercise

Spirituality

Sleeping

Healthy eating

Making healthy connections

Seeking support from others

Taking an objective view of your stressor

Traveling

Unhealthy coping mechanisms include:

Drugs

Excessive alcohol use

Self-mutilation

Ignoring or bottling up emotions

Excessive working

Avoidance

Denial

Self-blame or blaming others

Manipulation of others

Other destructive or addictive behaviors like shopping, binge eating, or gambling

Has sex helped you get through some difficult times? Did you recognize it as a coping mechanism? What are some healthy coping mechanisms you’ve developed? Share your experiences here!

📸: Unknown

[fromlotuswithlove]

Single Black Female... In Pursuit of Black Love

This how we be looking at these niggas in the beginning; enticed by their potential - in pursuit of Black love.

They start saying cute shit and dickin us down like we’d never imagined. We start sharing our secrets to hair maintenance and skin care routines.

Then they fuck around and lie about some dumb shit.

Now you gotta show em yo mama made a hoe

But according to research data, we are still committed to loving Black men. Only 12% of Black women marry outside of their race, while 24% of Black men marry someone of another race.

As a Black woman, do you have a preference? Have you dated outside of your race? What was your experience like? Would you be open to marrying someone of a different race? Share your experience here!

📸: Unknown via Pinterest

[fromlotuswithlove]

10 Signs that You’re a Rebound

As we all know, dating is NOT for the faint of heart. @LotusFlowerFemme has covered many of the basics from Navigating Situationships to Long Distance Lovin’, but falling in love is nothing compared to the feat of falling out of it.

From being in denial and desperate for answers to acceptance and redirected hope, break-ups can be life-altering experiences. To further complicate matters, when we meet new love interests, it’s almost impossible to gauge where they fall on the spectrum of relationship dissolution.

Rebound relationships are defined as: “Relationships that are initiated shortly after a breakup—before the feelings about the former relationship have been resolved.”

Although research indicates that some rebound relationships can be successful, others may be detrimental to both the rebounding person and the new partner.

Here are ten signs that your new boo may be using you as a rebound (or vice versa):

1. Your relationship progresses quickly but also lacks commitment

2. Your connection feels abnormally fulfilling or glaringly empty

3. They’re hell-bent on flexin’ on their ex

4. They feel emotionally detached

5. They can’t stop talking about their last relationship OR the topic is completely off-limits

6. They project issues from their previous partner on to you

7. Sex is intensely passionate, based solely on physically attraction, and happens constantly

8. They’re giving you mixed signals

9. They’ve entered into a new relationship based on weakness rather than strength

10. You have a feeling that if their ex called and wanted to work things out, you’d be kicked to the curb... “Well, somebody can send your luggage”

Have you been in a rebound relationship? Has a broken heart pushed you into conveniently open arms? Have you found love in a rebound? What are more productive ways to fill the voids that break-ups leave? How do you know when you’re ready for a new relationship?

📸: Unknown

[fromlotuswithlove]

10 Tips for Nurturing Your Inner Yoncé

“In each of us, another woman or young girl might see a reflection of herself, of her worth, of her boundless potential.” - @Beyoncé

To be honest, I can’t imagine a life where I wasn’t inspired by Beyoncé! From her cunningly calculated career moves to her unapologetic devotion to raising the bar, we are experiencing the immortalization of a legend, in real time. If you haven’t learned anything from Queen Bey in the last twenty-two years, you’ve bore witnessed the fruits of her tireless work ethic.

If that has not inspired you to be the best version of yourself, @LotusFlowerFemme is here to help you get with the program!

Here are ten tips for nurturing your inner Yoncé:

⠀⠀1. Me, Myself, & I: Not only did Beyonce give us a timeless bop, Me, Myself, & I is a WORD. You, alone, are more than enough! There is not a man (or woman) on this Earth that can complete you.

⠀⠀2. Irreplaceable: What you have to offer to the world is unique. Your gifts are intangible. Operate from the that lens and never worry about being “replaced” ever again.

⠀⠀3. ***Flawless: Imagine not being the best version of yourself? It’s literally what you were created to be. Never allow your flaws to define who you are.

⠀⠀4. Don’t Hurt Yourself: The world is tough as is, be kind to yourself! What you have accomplished to this point is more than most others can even dream of.

⠀⠀5. Crazy in Love: Love is dynamic in that it alters our perspective, for better or for worse. All of us have let love get the best of us at some point. After the smoke clears, we are left re-evaluating our worth and reconsidering our standards. Be honest with yourself and take the time you need to heal.

⠀⠀6. Superpower: Find something that brings you joy, something that challenges you, and something that allows you to give back. Your superpower exists within your ability to live a life full of purpose and intention.

⠀⠀7. Sweet Dreams: Runnin’ shit requires a lot of energy, sis! Get the sleep your body needs. Insufficient sleep affects the hormones involved in metabolism, appetite regulation, and stress response.

⠀⠀8. Naughty Girl: Y’all know Lotus is all about exploring your inner kink! Do you enjoy bondage? Domination? Orgies? Pegging? Ass play? Whatever it is, you deserve to experience it!

⠀⠀9. Grown Woman: Growth is as uncomfortable as it is rewarding. Love and nurture the woman you are becoming!

⠀⠀10. Best Thing I Never Had: What’s meant for you will always be yours. Remember, losses are really lessons and we never let them humble us.

How has Beyoncé inspired you? What lessons did you take away from Homecoming? How do you channel your inner Yoncé?

📸: @Beyoncé

[fromlotuswithlove]

Put This Pussy on Your Sideburns (Like a Pro)

Cunnilingus, or eating pussy, is an essential part of many of our sex lives. While the degree to which each of us enjoy it may vary, I think we can all agree it’s a topic worthy of discussion!

Not only is eating pussy an art form that requires practice, many consider it necessary for keeping their partner happy. Research shows that men *subconsciously* perform “mate retention” behaviors to reduce the likelihood of their partner’s infidelity. One of their favorite retention behaviors is *drumroll please* eating pussy!

Unfortunately, many of us have had less-than-favorable cunnilingus experiences. So here are some tips from @LotusFlowerFemme for anyone who wants to eat pussy like a pro:

Take it slow and ensure her comfort by setting the mood. Build anticipation with foreplay.

Explore. One of the best things about eating pussy is creative freedom. You can suck, lick, rub, blow, kiss, use your fingers, or a toy. Try different positions. Experiment with pressure but above all, be gentle.

Pay attention to both verbal (“fuckkkkkk, don’t stop”) and nonverbal (lip biting, hips moving, head grabbing) cues to determine what feels best to her. No two pussies are the same! Her body language will tell you everything you need to know.

Don’t forget the clit! About 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.

Show her how much you enjoy pleasing her. Make eye contact. Tell her how good she tastes. Most importantly, don’t shy away from the mess you make!

Ladies, do you have any tips for eating pussy like a pro? What turns you on? What can you do without? Share your thoughts here!

[fromlotuswithlove]

You + Somebody Son

You + somebody’s son after years of pouring love and light into one another; inspiring one another’s growth and watering seeds of imperfection.

So much so, that you can both honestly say, you’re a better version of yourself than you were all those years ago.

A version that can reflect on love lost and not feel the sting of “what if?” because your present reality is so much more sweeter.

And so is the D 🍆

[fromlotuswithlove]

LotusFlowerFemme is a space curated for sex-positivity, sex education, the exploration of sexuality, and the appreciation of the Black Love aesthetic through the lens of Lotus, a Black, bisexual woman.

This space is intended to allow women the opportunity to be sexual and have conversations about sex without being met by an underlying assumption that they want to fuck everybody in the room.

The concept of the sexually-empowered woman intimates many men because it threatens their innate sense of power.

But here, enjoying sex is NOT taboo, there are no topics that are off-limits, and no need to be ashamed.

We will share stories, encourage introspection, promote sex-positivity,  ask questions, foster discussion, and help you uncover the Lotus inside of you!