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*the legacy of this team is winning and that's the start of a journey"

“Proudest day of my life, until the day I have kids I suppose”

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"the legacy of this team is winning, and that's the start of a journey"

“Proudest day of my life, until the day I have kids I suppose”

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MARY EARPS. THE WALL. THE IMMOVABLE OBJECT.

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Holy Mary SAVED this team multiple times

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This is why she's the captain

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TOOOOOONEEEEEEY!

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Ain't nothing wrong with chubby stomachs.

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Love this friendship

My fav trio 🥺❤️

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Today belongs to Barbra Banda:

✅ Captained Zambia in their first womens Olympic game

✅ Scored three 3 goals vs one of the worlds top goalkeepers

✅ Never gave up.. even when her team conceeded 10 goals, she went and scored two goals within two minutes

✅ Only 21 years old but showed leadership and class against a team ranked 100 spots higher than hers in the world rankings

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The N in the USWNT stands for Naeher

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hello, good afternoon, good evening on this day before what may or may not be the greatest gayest olympics ever held. in these precious few hours left of the Before Time, let’s reminisce about some fun things.

first of all, i want you to know i think about this moment every day. i’m sure there was some intense technical reason why alyssa naeher decided to make this crossbar her jungle gym, like say, sudden fear of heights or superhuman interference, but regardless, this confirms my bias that uncle naeher could throw me into next week. you know what other displays of sheer strength live rent free in my mind? 

yes. this. christiane endler and her ass pat followed by her ‘jump mightily into these arms’ easiness are things that should be earmarked for scientific study. there actually exists more evidence of not one, not two, but three petite chilean players being held at one (1) time by this one (1) woman expending zero (0) effort. best of luck to team gb, the wives stellen, and everyone else yeah, but also christiane endler could break into my home and punch me through a wall so. i remain a staunch supporter of chaos.

major tournaments are when i like to play the ‘is alex morgan really hurt or is she just waiting for her baby daddy kelley o’hara to check on her’ game. perhaps this tournament shall give us some much needed answers!!

BTW THIS GAME HAS BEEN PLAYED FOR YEARS IT IS A TIME HONORED TRADITION NOBODY SPOIL IT FOR ME AT 4AM IF I’M SLEEPING.

more international tournament content of yesteryear. nothing will ever be greater to me than steph houghton pausing to include her wife ellen white on her list essential packing items for the 2015 world cup. wlw history of the word ‘roommate’ makes it that much better.

not to be a downer but, uh, remind me why we’re doing this again…

in other news, i seriously wonder how abby ‘i’ve been sitting next to sam on the bus for seven years’ dahlkemper feels about kristie mewis’ sudden reemergence on the national team. // i think we all know how sam kerr feels about kristie mewis.

happy olympics everyone, especially to whoever left me these tags. and if like me, your schedule does not allow for being awake in the middle of the night, this account is doing the good lord’s work. enjoy!

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I heard a rumor that it was Beth England but I can't find a source and that annoys me because I definitely didn't dream it

Has anyone heard rumors of who the Chelsea player heading to United is?

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"Sam's an underrated psycho" 🤣

@LRoman32: Who does @roselavelle want from the #USWNT on her Track & Field 4x4 relay team for #Tokyo2020📷?

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Seriously? SERIOUSLY???!!!

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happy sunday evening friends. the olympics are upon us and with that comes the promise of chaos and very gay things.

please ignore sam mewis putting in work and watch this open-mouthed stare from young rose lavelle, a professional athlete, as another professional athlete walks by. 10/10 she is either getting ready to scream, “YOU’RE A WANKER NUMBER 9,″ or profess her love for emily sonnett, who i am contractually obligated to remind you has a twin sister named emma. this new uswnt social coordinator better be ready, because as we all know a once-in-four-years competitive sporting tournament is about 20% actual sports and 80% GAY FLIRTATION.

anyway, what in the literal goals is this photoshoot from sue bird and sue bird’s supportive fiancée megan rapinoe? i’m grateful to nike for a lot things, running shoes included, but i am especially thankful for whatever prompted this campaign and the quote from the future mrs. bird which reads, “for us it’s really important to just show an unbridled joy in being together, and being gay.” i mean, fuck. just get married already so i can update my wedding mood board.

in keeping with the #goals theme, where ever pernille harder and magdalena eriksson are it is both beautiful and a place i would like to be. // even more goals speeding through los angeles from tobin heath and christen press. but real talk, only if tobin is driving and her wife christen can just sit there and look pretty because who doesn’t want to be a passenger.

here is a screenshot of a woman who could single-handedly take down one quarter of the u.s. women’s national team if she was a little less likeable. // here is a screenshot of two women who may or may not have a child together and have just departed for one month in a foreign country to ‘play sports’. seriously, when random video panos catch you in the blurry background, you are together A LOT.

in related news of professional athletes attached at the freakin’ hip, i feel like no one on the englad staff properly informed team gb that steph houghton and ellen white are to always be seated next to each other or else the world will stop spinning. hopefully caroline weir was a gentleman and switched seats. // more masked aviation selfies from lindsey horan and kelley o’hara who really is not fooling anyone, we can all tell it’s you, bb.

quick sidebar on how wnba and nwsl staff are just logging onto expedia and scrounging up last minute deals on group tickets for top-tier professional athletes in their respective fields! seriously, what. in. the world. kinda puts in perspective that when you become the youngest player to reach a triple double in wnba history, or score the game winner in the third minute of stoppage time, that you’ve done it all whilst arriving via the snack-mix-middle-seat-group-rate-discount of commercial air travel!!!

very glad this happened. // very devastated this didn’t. (let’s discuss calmly and rationally lindsey horan’s obsession with kissing and being kissed by women. i’ll go first: what the entire fuck??)

absolutely hate the symmetrical parallels here (minus rose lavelle in the background looking one pair of rain boots shy of trouncing a puddle). now that tobin is officially back to doing Tobin Things™️, i am just awaiting news that she and cp have joined miss keppy and officially adopted lindsey. just an informal announcement, you know, via carrier pigeon or three holes in a fence.

meanwhile, in the w, the las vegas aces are such a mood y’all. who walks up to play four quarters of basketball looking like this? liz cambage and a’ja wilson, that’s who. i’m sorry to report, after seeing them play from twenty feet away, they are even better looking in person.

pride month may be over but rest assured this blog is gay 24/7, 365 and as such i would like to pass on these words of wisdom via my college friend who once held my hand during an entire freshman orientation and was the prettiest girl i had ever seen, who btw, is now gay. goodnight!

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Same energy

Christen’s face is killing me😂

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What was this celly though 😂

2 games, 2 goals ✅