frightenedrabbit0303

[frightenedrabbit0303]

i need someone to show me

the things in life that i cant find

i cant see things that make true happiness

i must be blind

[frightenedrabbit0303]

[frightenedrabbit0303]

people just aint no good

i think thats well understood

you can see it everywhere you look

people just aint no good

it aint that in their hearts theyre bad

they can comfort you some even try

they nurse you when youre ill of health

they bury you when you go and die

theyll stick by you if they could

ah but thats just bullshit baby

people just aint no good

[frightenedrabbit0303]

you have the right not to be killed

murder is a crime

unless it was done by a policeman or an aristocrat

you have the right to food money

providing of course

you dont mind a little investigation humiliation and if you cross your fingers rehabilitation

you have the right to free speech

as long as youre not dumb enough to actually try it

[frightenedrabbit0303]

feel bad this morning aint got no home

no use in worrying cause the world gone wrong

i cant be good no more once like i did before

i cant be good baby

honey because the worlds gone wrong

[frightenedrabbit0303]

[frightenedrabbit0303]

[frightenedrabbit0303]

[frightenedrabbit0303]

[frightenedrabbit0303]

[frightenedrabbit0303]

It was one of those moments when the silence that reigned among two people seems more awkward than natural and therefore creates more tension than peacefulness between them.

In such situations people usually try to think of something, try to find in their head even a pointless tiny thought that would help to relieve the pressure hanging in the air.

In this particular time, Youngjae wasn’t an exception.

They were sitting on the cool sand and looking at the sea, at its calmly moving water the color of which now resembles a mixture of blue, black and purple, at the sky, astonishing in its beauty and uniqueness and at the softly pink sunset gradually darkening with every slowly passing minute.

It seems they were sitting like this, alone, for an infinitely long time and, frankly speaking, Youngjae would be really grateful to Jaebum if he had said at least one word but at the same time, he was realizing that latter simply will not dare start a dialogue first after what just had happened even if he really wanted to.

It is for this reason he decided to say the first thing that came to his mind.

- It’s cold.

- Of course it is! You’re soaking wet! - It's not like Jaebum was really angry, it was just too much inside that it seemed he couldn’t handle it anymore. Their first meeting, their first quarrel, his spontaneous gust which was more a vital necessity at that time than a deliberate decision and then tears, a sea of tears the picture of which he probably will never be able to erase from his memory. Now his breathing became more frequent and audible and he looked straight into Youngjae’s eyes as if trying to find in them answers, while his own literally screamed about confusion, anxiety and ... understanding?

Youngjae wasn’t sure this is the right word to describe Jaebum's emotions, he wasn’t sure of the rightness of anything at all. Jaebum's eyes were so dark and deep and he was all incredibly beautiful that the next second Youngjae just abruptly lowered his head, now burying his eyes in his lap and trying to hide the silly smile that formed on his lips impermissibly quickly.

- Jaebum, - his voice was very quiet and strangely tender. Jaebum didn’t say anything in return, so Youngjae might think that the latter didn’t hear him at all but he still felt careful gaze on himself, so he just continued – thank you for bringing me here.

- Sometimes I have a feeling that the more I learn about you, the less I know you. – It seemed that in Jaebum's voice slipped some sad notes, so when Youngjae slowly looked up at him, he answered with absolute seriousness.

- You know more than you think. - He was going to say something else, but Jaebum suddenly interrupted.

- Can I… can I ask you something? - He didn’t know why it was so important for him to hear this. Maybe because he often asked this question to himself and still couldn’t find the answer. That was hurting him. Sometimes even killing. The fact that he doubted everything. Even himself. Youngjae only blinked a couple of times, and then slowly nodded showing he was attentively listening to him.

- What springs to your mind when I say “what do you love?”

It took about 30 seconds for him to respond.

- My mother, lemons and… - Youngjae stopped himself for a moment as if he wasn’t sure he could express what he felt in a right way but then he said – I don’t know…just Kleinigkeiten.

- What do you mean by “Kleinigkeiten”? - For some reason Jaebum's heart began to beat faster. He even felt the fingers on his hands began to tremble slightly.

- I mean ... everything, like - he stayed silent for a moment again but this time he looked directly into Jaebum's eyes and suddenly he realized that he wanted something like this to last as long as possible, perhaps even forever and the words he was about to say seemed to him to be the only right ones – like two little moles under your eyebrows or something like that.

For a moment Jaebum felt that he had stopped breathing, his own heart was now beating so loud in his chest that he couldn’t hear the soothing sounds of the sea waves anymore. He was just looking at Youngjae whose smile now seemed to him a second sun and then suddenly closed his eyes and slowly leaned forward.

[frightenedrabbit0303]

I wish I could see the sea.

Now Youngjae didn’t look at Jaebum anymore. The sensation of what was supposed to happen in a next few minutes literally swept him over. His whole body was trembling so hard he couldn't even breathe properly. Squeezing his eyes tight for a moment, he tried to calm himself down but all he could feel was the deafening knock of his own heart in the temples and the strong smell of seawater that seemed completely new and painfully home in the same time. The second he realized that the car was gradually stopping, he frantically seat the belt off, opened the door, jumped out and ran, without even waiting for Jaebum to totally stop moving. He ran so fast that he didn't hear the latter was calling him several times after and didn’t see the people coming straight towards him. The smell of seawater was getting stronger with every second, and in some moment Youngjae suddenly stopped, feeling soft and chill sand under his feet instead of solid bitumen. The next second he saw the sea right in front of him. It was deep blue due to the fact that the sun disappeared behind the cloud, and mysteriously quiet because of the absence of wind. Small waves rustled and foamed, and either from the fact that Youngjae had never thought it would be so beautiful, or from the feeling of happiness that now overflowed the entire of his body, the tears began to form in his eyes and then one by one started to wet his cheeks with salt water. A few moments later he began to move forward and now the salt water enveloped his body almost to the waist. He could feel the wet clothes sticking to his body unpleasantly, but he did not pay any attention to it at all. Now his eyes were closed, his breathing was even and he was quietly whispering to himself :"It's happening.. it's happening.."

[frightenedrabbit0303]

- sew my mouth shut

[frightenedrabbit0303]

the voice of the forest

[frightenedrabbit0303]

[frightenedrabbit0303]

2jae!au ; - tell me your dreams. - i wish i could see the sea.