freakywalterwhite

[freakywalterwhite]

Reblog if you're hoping 2011 will be a fresh start.

[freakywalterwhite]

I just think it is so so beautiful how Jesse always cares. like no matter how many bad things happen to him or how many terrible things he makes happen to other people, he's never truly able to turn away from himself to look the other way. He never offers himself any justifications for the crimes he commits, never makes excuses for himself, never gives himself an easy out for any of it. And as hard as he tries to go numb to all of it, it never works. He just works his way down the list of distractions - drugs, parties, music so loud he can't even hear his own thoughts, crowds of strangers, video games,, etc. but through it all, he can't bring himself to turn a blind eye to his own actions.

And it's interesting too bc despite his harshness and honesty with himself about the skeletons in his closet, Jesse continues to be very good at justifying Walt's actions. he's so much more willing to give Walt the benefit of the doubt or a moral loophole or whatever than he is with himself. Which is actually so telling bc Walt HATES this about Jesse, this inability to compartmentalize the horrors and lock them away in some untended corner of his mind the way Walt does. Jesse's insistence on his own guilt makes Walt squirm. and we all know what happens when someone makes Walt feel uncomfortable or ashamed of himself - yep. he just gets absolutely furious and then often directs his anger toward who will stay there to take it and let's be real that person is usually Jesse.

And it's in those breathless, panicked moments, the moments where Walt feels most out of control, that he tends to love holding up a mirror to Jesse and forcing him to look into it while he describes what he sees. a junkie. a boy who doesn't apply himself. a boy who squanders his potential. a boy who needs to be told what to do. a boy who can't think well enough on his own to be successful. a boy whose idea of what a real man should be like looks suspiciously like Walt. But when Jesse looks at himself without that influence, without whatever narrative Walt's trying to sell him in the moment, Jesse always sees himself differently. he becomes a murderer. a liar. someone who is scared and sick and who always flinches at a raised hand like a damaged dog. he doesn't like what he sees in these moments but he knows at least it's real. He becomes keenly aware of the fact that he can't have Walt dictating his reality. But whenever he pulls away he just gets pulled right back in, closer and harder and more suffocatingly than ever.

To me what it really boils down to is that the fact that at the end of the day Jesse can stomach the person who he is when he isn't around Walt but Walt can't stomach the person he is when he isn't around Jesse. and it's just fucking brutal for everyone. God I'm so normal about this AMC show from 2008 I swear.

[freakywalterwhite]

does anyone else remember being terrorized every single commercial break by the madagascar 3 trailer on every single cartoon channel in 2011-2012

[freakywalterwhite]

[freakywalterwhite]

the implications wrt the DB Cooper case in twin peaks lore is that teenage Cooper disassociated so hard that he made a tulpa. the tulpa then hijacked the plane and presumably was never found because he stopped existing. as tulpas do.

[freakywalterwhite]

did you know you can reblog a post without adding things to it

[freakywalterwhite]

do you want to see the best trail cam photo ever

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[freakywalterwhite]

PERIOD CRAMPS

[freakywalterwhite]

this is sending me

[freakywalterwhite]

I think they call you P Jack because you just don't know jack!!

U guys might not ever see me for a long time or maybe ever again i feel really bad and im just not doing good at all

[freakywalterwhite]

Hey guys be cool and normal but reblog this with the homemade meal that would get you the most hyped as a child. I need it for reasons.

[freakywalterwhite]

mmy beautiful boy witha disorder 💗

[freakywalterwhite]

I’m so sorry but in the nicest way possible do yall actually read books or just read words??? Cause I’ve been seeing that trend of people not understanding how “snarled” and “eyes darkened” and “eyes softened” etc. was used in a book and like…

Genuinely, do yall just not have imagination?? Or not understand figurative language??? Also eyes do literally darken and soften have you not lived a life??? How do you read with no imagination? Is this how you get through so many books in one month - you simply don’t take the time the understand the words as they are read?