freakiest-fander

[freakiest-fander]

no revenge because I forgot what you did #memoryloss

[freakiest-fander]

can i talk to you in the woods about something

[freakiest-fander]

*starts running towards you with a spear in hand* hehehe!! :D heeeheeeeheeheheeee~!!! *starts getting faster* *face turns gravely serious*

[freakiest-fander]

you just doordashed yourself a knuckle sandwich pal

[freakiest-fander]

no! healthy brotherly relationship will kill the character! the patient needs a codependent, sexual, and romantic relationship with his brother to live!!!!!!!

[freakiest-fander]

Faces in coffee.

[freakiest-fander]

if I were on a roadtrip and saw a roadside fruit stand with exorbitant pricing I'd go "this is highway strawberry!" but that's never happened so I I haven't said that.

[freakiest-fander]

she call me lady Gaga the way I'm bad with romance

[freakiest-fander]

[freakiest-fander]

LOL but seriously release the hounds

[freakiest-fander]

*smirking* you couldn't waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?

[freakiest-fander]

I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really want to take a baseball bat to someone’s head tbh

[freakiest-fander]

i love characters who could get the absolute Shit kicked out of them and still be fine but as soon as someone touches/handles them gently it’s like “ah. im going to shatter to pieces now thanks”

[freakiest-fander]

Mad scientists will be like "I know a place" and then strap you onto the autopsy table

[freakiest-fander]

Mad scientists will be like "I know a place" and then strap you onto the autopsy table

[freakiest-fander]

I call them my specimens because they’re the men who are special to me.

[freakiest-fander]

damn my pants ripped in the desert ahhh the sand so hot on my dick