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["I have the strongest startle reflex in the world. Call my name in the quiet, make a loud noise, introduce something sudden into my field of vision, and every time I’ll jump like there’s been a clap of thunder. It’s worst, though, if you touch me when I’m not expecting it. I startle the way a wild animal does. For years I thought only the bad wiring in my brain was to blame, the same warped signals that throw off my balance and make my muscles tighten, keeping me permanently on tenterhooks. Then I met Susannah, whose first memories are also of a gas mask and a surgeon’s hands, of being picked up, held down, put under. She too jumps at the smallest surprise, the slightest unanticipated touch. Now I think that feral reflex also arises from something in that early trauma: all those years of being touched without permission, having your body talked about over your head, being forced under sedation, made to leave your body and come back to a version that hurts more but is supposedly better—the blank stretch of time when something happened you can’t name. I think it matters that the first touch I remember is someone readying to cut me open, that when I woke I was crying, and there was a sutured wound."]

molly mccully brown, from the broken country, from wanting: women writing about desire, 2023

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Maya C. Popa, from Wound is the Origin of Wonder: Poems: “Wound is the origin of wonder”

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the overwhelming feeling of sadness sometimes when someone treats me with kindness

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via niall.breen.comics

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[人間じゃないから大丈夫]

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😳 okay Robyn get it

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'The Femme ABCs'

made for a beloved friend (inspired by 'The Alpha-Butch Song' by Lesléa Newman) :)

(ID in read more!)

[ID: an original poem titled 'The Femme ABCs':

aggressive femme, always vigilant, black femme, ever so radiant.

charismatic femme, knows how to make them swoon, dorky femme, who laughs like a baboon.

ego femme, who knows his worth, funtime femme, all about the girth.

greying femme, showing off dazzling greys, hard-eyed femme, tattooed and hard to phase.

idiosyncratic femme, wearing every colour and pattern that exists, juvenile femme, never been kissed.

knightly femme, chivalrous and full of heart, loverboy femme, them and their sweetheart never part.

mister femme, dapper in a suit and tie, nervous femme, too shy to say hi.

old-school femme, a lifeline revered by others, pillow princess femme, a home to their lovers.

queen femme, a top who knows how to please, really fat femme, has everyone on their knees.

sisterly femme, preferring to kiss femme dolls, trans femme, fills the place with love and soul.

ubiquitous femme, patching up the wounds and bringing the meals, valentine femme, always donning pink and heels.

witty femme, full of brain and remarks, x-ray femme, knows how to make a butch spark.

yearning femme, lipstick marks on every letter, zany femme, his silly nature makes everyone feel better.

now I know my ABCs, which femme will be friends with me?

Poem ends. at the bottom, it is signed by the poet as 'Ren H.' end ID]

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hi! you can totally ignore this, but any poetry recs for the love that could be great but just doesn't work out? it's been a rough weekend and nothing in my collection is hitting just right

Failing and Flying by Jack Gilbert :)

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— Sylvia Plath

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two cups water one cup rice

makes a treat that's very nice

rice for me and rice for you

rice to eat with bowl of stew

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My dreams haven't really been subtle lately.

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I wasn’t crazy about this piece so I wasn’t intending on publicly posting it again, but it keeps getting stolen every five minutes so I figured I’d put it here so people at least know who to attribute the original thing to lmao

[Digital illustration, Procreate App, 2020]

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ErraBallas for the real ones

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I am electing to pass away, it was nice knowing you all