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We looked inside some of the posts by fourhundredfourtyfourthousand and here's what we found interesting.
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honestly the only food i like nowadays is waffles and raw fish anything else is painful to finish. especially bread/rice/etc. anything with gluten is just unbearable to eat
i love raw fish...
4/3/22
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Cant fucking draw right now, can’t find my drawing tablet. Today was a bit sad, not sure why but just didnt feel like too good of a day. The atmosphere was heavy. Today I went on a tour in a town and it didnt feel real. Like things that only happen in television shows happened on that ride. Crazy. Bad day though, boring and upsetting.
Miss my friends
3/22/22
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3/7/22
Dreams are becoming indistinguishable from reality now. I cant ground myself in the real world anymore
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1/28/22
So today I was walking to a bakery that’s right near my school just after I got out to get some cookies and stuff. Its a good bakery and I believe it was midday and I had gotten out sorta earlier than most people did, because I was in a building right near the entrance
So I was thinking I had gotten out earlier than I usually do, at least on normal days. When I got to the bakery the woman who works there asked me if it was a late release day or something. I know that doesn’t seem like something you’d think about normally but I started thinking about it after she asked. It wasn’t of course but like...maybe it was or something.
She said people usually start lining up to the place in front of the bakery around 2:30 instead of 2:40. Maybe school actually gets out then. Or something. Maybe theyre lying to us about it ending at 2:40. What would we need the extra 10 minutes for though? I don’t know.
I wish it ended 10 minutes earlier. School is pretty boring 70 percent of the time lol.
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1/28/22
I DOn’t really have much to talk about. Feeling weird, kinda regretful, kinda cringing at myself, dunnu, stuff like that. Its chill though. Ill be okay. I’ve been playing a lot of worlds.com recently. Its pretty fun
I have a large thought ill make in another post
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1/10/22
Okay, so I’ve been playing some Gingiva as of recently, and I’m going to write a bit about it. Not finished with it, so when I do finish, I’m gonna write a full, extensive review on it.
Do I like it so far? Yes! I love it. Its great.
The artwork in it is really good. Although at some points when I was playing it I felt like it was kind of tryhard in the art aspect? Like things didn’t fit...In middens. the game its sequaling, everything blends in and falls into piece.
In this room in middens, despite its collage medium, fits together. It blends well, and every piece of art compliments the other; whether in style, color or placement. Lets take a look at Gingiva now
Now, I will admit, its not the BEST example, because I forgot to save a few screenshots while playing the game that I thought didn’t exactly looked like they fit, but I guess you have an idea of it. A lot of parts looked a bit choppy or at least didn’t seem polished like it did in middens.
But I still think it looks really good. I’m gonna share some of my favorite parts of the game
I thought that the parts where theres npcs who regardless of what you tell them when you talk to them, will ask you to marry them. When you DO marry them, you get trapped in this domestic hell where you cant escape, and you have to fight off tons of babies. Caught me off guard first time I encountered these characters that would ask you to marry them, because I did, and then...I had to start from a point I did a while ago lol. Super funny though
FUCK BABIES
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1/9/22
I will never understand the stigma of not wanting the biggest, most fulfilling, extravagant life ever. I don’t understand why there are people who will carp at one for wanting a quiet, peaceful, blissful lifestyle. Wanting a peaceful lifestyle where maybe you go to a small college or move to the most rural point imaginable. That sounds like my dream I believe. I’ve known for a long time I’ve never wanted to have dreams too big I know ill never fulfill them. I don’t want to be a millionaire or a world renown scientist or a supermodel for those big fashion companies because if I will admit, I don’t really care.
I’m someone with dreams of course, I don’t want to be depressed and middle aged. Everyone has dreams. I have them. Theres things I want out of my life; I have a lot of passions. I love art a lot. I love to draw and id love to make characters or a story people adore and find comfort in someday. If something like that counts as a dream, then that’s mine. My biggest dream. Do I want to go to a big, expensive art college and work as an animator at some big company, like cartoon network or something? No. That’s not my dream. If it was, I think I would become bored and sad with my life fast. I think I want freedom the most in my life. I want to stay an individual and I want to stay true to myself. I think that is everyone’s goal; or at least, it should be. I don’t think I’ve been true to myself all the time. But if having smaller dreams is being true to myself, I guess I kind of have.
I think my dream, or ultimate goal in life is to live as peacefully and happily as possible. Accepting what is in my control and what isn’t, staying true to what I want and doing something while I am on earth. Of course, I don’t think its bad to have big dreams, I think its amazing. This world needs more amazing people with big dreams. I just cannot grasp the concept of everyone on earth needing these big, fulfilling dreams. Sometimes you must be a little realistic. I think there’s beauty in happiness, and that’s all I want.
I want to be peaceful. I don’t want to fear, I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to harm.
That sounds right,
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1/2/21
Happy new year!
I haven’t gone outside in a week now and I’m planning to go out tomorrow. Maybe to the art museum thats in another town maybe? That sounds like a good sunday!
On other thoughts, theres a cafe near my house thats small and cozy, I might go there and bring a book, clear my mind a bit, who knows. Ive been having a lot of crazy thoughts as of recently.
I’m gonna reread some of my comics!
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12/30/21
I didn’t write yesterday (or the day before technically lol) But today I have writing to be made. Yesterday was a good day. Much more relaxing. Also today was really peaceful and good. Its amazing what a good shower can do!
Anyways I haven’t drawn in a while and I think i’m gonna do so soon. I have some ideas on what to draw so yeah
Not much to report today because I haven’t thought about much. Well i’ll report something later in the day probably.
Sweet dreams!
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12/27/21
Wow today was a terrible day. I think it had to be the worst day I've ever had lol. Being around some people is so stressful for me and I don’t even know why. It feels like walking on eggshells talking to certain people LOL.
Today I was downloading touhou on my new laptop and at first it didn’t run at all. I got worried so I searched up why, just ended up being something that I needed to download from another website so that was ok, until I ran the game and the frame rate was super slow. Like 20 fps (if you’ve never played touhou before, the usual frame rate for the games is 60 fps) So I started getting really stressed and almost cried, because touhous really dear to me and it was the only thing I was looking forward to doing. Playing it.
For reference I was playing touhou 6
But i’m not sure if that matters LOL
However I played it today and It made me really happy. I love touhou. My favorite game has to be 7 because of its amazing atmosphere and the music and setting and story. No other mainline touhou game tops it in my opinion. I’m glad touhou exists. It gives my life a lot of meaning, even if that sounds kinda sad. It gives me motivation, because I know its really hard to get the extra stage boss so I wanna get it one day. Even if I know who the secret boss is. I could train to get it all day, I don’t care.
Anyways still a shitty day, don’t like living here at all LOL I need a vaycay or something, something to clear my mind and get away from this suffocating industrial hot ass city. I hope one day I live somewhere rural and peaceful that would be nice but I feel like that would become really unhealthy? I guess
Anyways I hope tomorrow is better. Im gonna play some more games to clear my mind or listen to some music. Playing yume nikki always clears my mind
Although I kinda wanna draw but I cant connect my tablet to my laptop at the moment...Kinda sad lol.
Whatever I will just draw later traditionally. Thats all I have to talk about today. Sweet dreams!
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12/26/2021, 19:56
My new years resolution in a doodle I made very late at night
I have other ones like working out more to be less wimpy and get huge muscles. Also be better at school but like not as much because i’m pretty ok in school right now. I don’t even care if its all cs no ds or fs and i’m a-ok!
I need to live life 2022!
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12/26/21
I’ve gotten a new laptop and its honestly the best thing in the entire world dude.
I love it so much, its so fast and sleek, I've been playing so many games on it and I’ve finally used steam after five years of not aha
I have been playing a ton of yume nikki since, playing it again makes me really nostalgic but feel really weird. I love yume nikki. I don’t mean to sound a bit pretentious but i’ve conditioned myself to a lot of weird shit so when I play or watch weird or scary stuff, Its not as uh, shocking or anything
But the room in yume nikki with the lunatic Toriningen always gets me. The music and the chase makes me really frantic and worried sometimes. Is that a trope in games? Not being chased but like being chased, by something in a pixel game? I don’t know what to call it LOL I know theres something similar in the first lisa game to what i’m talking about
Where you go to some weird area and the protagonists dad follows you at great speed but doesn’t initially spawn near you, just wherever house he came from and stealthily follows you and when you run into him he says some weird shit but I don’t remember my memory is fuzzy.
The first lisa game was the first lisa experience I ever had. It freaked me out to the core. But I haven’t played it in three or four years now so its not too sharp of a memory.
Also I’ve been playing a ton of muse dash LOL I feel addicted to it. I already have 6 hours on it on the first 7 hours of having my new laptop its just so fun and im cracked at it already.
Lots of cool pretty girls in it too, good game!
(I got melty blood actress against current code too but I need an xbox controller for it and well I don’t have one at this moment. Maybe I should ask my cousin for his sometime)
Ok this is goodnight. Sweet dreams!
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Before I call it a night
I will think about tomorrow and how I’ll go to the library again. It’s really peaceful, and quiet, and I love reading. I love books, I love just reading long paragraphs of usless things. A few weeks ago, I read about independent bands through the 70s to 90s, a catalouge of every recorded one (But only looked for the bands I liked lol) and the history of literature and womens literature in russia after that.
I love reading and books, and quiet libraries and the big building the librarys in. I love it so much...What a nice, peaceful place to spend the day alone.
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