four-makes-my-bottom-sore
four-makes-my-bottom-sore
.Four is Death.
5K posts
artemis fowl / she/her
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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He looks like Five Hargreeves someone help me
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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Urghgh I know it’s trite at this point to set action scenes to pop songs and yet. I would like to see Butler kick ass while the song Roxanne by The Police croons in the background
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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Hi yall, long time no post!
Here's a quick little watercolor I made in an effort to break some major art block.
I think I'll always be fixated on the orange rose imagery from TLG🌹 🧡
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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alex rider or artemis fowl au where everything is the same except they’re pen pals with each other
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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Listen I don’t know who will see this but, for years I’ve seen art and fan art of Artemis Fowl when he died in like a suit and very groomed looking. Do you guys not remember like in the middle of the last book he,butler and Holly changed into camo gear, proceeded to swim through the fowl estates pond and then Artemis and Holly crashed a plane, and he says there’s blood on his face so most likely that’s an open wound on his head to, HE will NOT be best dressed I doubt that was even on his MIND. And also when he went to go meet Opal it literally states he was pushed down a hill and he smiles, theres blood on his teeth. So all the art should have been him looking far worse than it portrays. Also he Fr sprinted to the gate and jumped over a hole (?) you KNOW that boy must have been sweating his ass off😭
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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Imagine this.
You are a Butler. Not a butler, but a Butler. In fact, you're probably the most impressive member of what was already an incredibly storied line of elite bodyguards. You are in your late 30s, taking charge of a prepubescent child who has just lost his father and whose mother is all but comatose in her despondence. The thing is, this kid is… weird.
Rather than sit in his room and cry, like a twelve year old should after being left practically orphaned, this twelve year old plots. He schemes. He pulls off a series of crimes to keep his family’s supplies filled with ill-gotten funds, as is custom… but he’s twelve. Even in a family of criminal geniuses, this kid takes the cake.
Finally your young charge starts to talk about something that real life twelve year olds talk about - fairies. He’s practically obsessed with them. Talks about them day in and day out. Yes, he’s hitting his “fairy stage” a little later than most kids, but it actually feels right… he’s clinging to his childhood, the one he felt like he lost when he lost his father.
Then one day he calls you to his father’s study. He has a smile on his face, but it’s not the smile of a child. It’s small, contemplative, cold… predatory.
“Butler,” he says, staring past your eyes and almost into your mind itself, “gas up the jet. We have some business to conduct in Ho Chi Minh City.”
You find that odd, but it’s certainly far from the oddest request he’s made. “Certainly,” you reply. Your voice is crisp and clear; all business, no fluff. “What business do we have to conduct, Master Artemis?”
Artemis grins again, and you can almost see his canines grow longer as if they yearn for blood. “Why Butler, I expected better from you,” he says, and you almost forget that it’s abnormal for a highly intelligent, highly qualified grown man to feel like an idiot beside an actual child.
His smile doesn’t waver but somehow the air in the room grows colder when leans forward and explains, “We’re going to have a talk with a fairy.”
From any other child this would be nothing more than a flight of fancy. From this child, though?
You subconsciously reach out to pat the Sig Sauer holstered under your left arm, a rare nervous tick from the man who feared nothing. Almost nothing, anyway.
“Of course, Master Artemis,” you answer, because Artemis Fowl has never experienced a flight of fancy in his life. If he says that you’re going to meet a fairy…
All that’s left for you is to wonder what they’ll look like.
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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How Artemis’s sees butler
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How everyone else sees butler
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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Recently, I did a re-read of the AF series, and I am working through some thoughts I have on the Fowls and what allowed them to maintain power -- especially in the sense of being landed -- in Ireland after arriving during the Norman conquest in the 12th century.
Colfer establishes that Hugo de Folé and Virgil Butler arrived in Ireland during the first Norman crusades in the 12th century (1169).
“The first record of this unusual arrangement [between the Fowls and Butlers] was when Virgil Butler had been contracted as servant, bodyguard, and cook to Lord Hugo de Folé for one of the first great Norman crusades.” From: Artemis Fowl. By Eoin Colfer.
At once, these origins of the Fowls would make them ambiguously part of the Old English, a term from the modern period (post-1600) used to describe the descendants of the first Anglo-Norman conquerors who largely inhabited the Pale (Dublin and surrounding areas) and surrounding towns. Hugo de Folé and Virgil Butler would have likely been Catholic.
However, the origins of Fowl Manor complicate this.
The original Fowl castle had been built by Aodhán Fowl in the fifteenth century overlooking low-lying country on all sides. A tactic borrowed from the Normans. From: The Arctic Incident. By Eoin Colfer
In the 15th (c. 1401-1500) century, Aodhán Fowl acquired land for Fowl Manor in the Pale (Dublin and its surrounding areas); the estate has remained in the Fowls' possession ever since, which is important to note.
The Fowls' historical proximity to the Pale likely was what allowed them to maintain power over the centuries.
Between the 12th and 16th centuries, the Lordship of Ireland (1177-1542) placed swaths of Ireland under the control of Anglo-Norman lords loyal to the King of England.
However, by the 14th century (1300s), English rule of Ireland beyond the Pale (Dublin and its surrounding areas) was weakening. Beyond the Pale, (Catholic) Hiberno-Norman lords' fiefdoms had a degree of independence from the English, often adopting elements of Gaelic language and culture.
This changes around the 16th century with the Protestant Reformation and the Tudor conquest of Ireland. In 1536, Henry VIII of England decided to reconquer Ireland and bring it under crown control. Charles II, Henry VII's son, made the re-established Church of England even more explicitly Protestant.
Between the 16th and 17th centuries (c.1550s-1620s), Irish land was transferred to a new wave of (Protestant) settlers from Great Britain and Scotland to strengthen the Crown's weakening control over Ireland and Anglicize (and thus "civilize") the island; the land transfer was facilitated through the creation of plantations, such as the plantation of Ulster.
The Old English, which would have included descendants of de Folé and Virgil Butler, were supplanted by the New English, the Protestant landowners introduced by the Tudors in a number of ventures at plantations.
It is important to note the historical nuance that:
There was no equivalent in Ireland to the English Test Act of 1672, and there were plenty of precedents for exemptions to the Act of Supremacy. The legal position of Irish Catholics was, in many practical respects, better than that of English Catholics; many fines and penalties fell into abeyance under Charles [II], and the Catholic hierarchy co-operated openly with the Dublin administration. From James's [James VI and I] accession, the Church's position was obviously improved; priests emerged into the public eye and were allowed salaries, though they were not as yet endowed. Protestant superiority remained, in many areas, axiomatic; Catholics continued to occupy a curiously edgy position of formal inferiority combined with tacit toleration. But the ambiguities of their situation reflected the logic of local conditions just as much as the shifts in central policy. [...] But the 'Test clause in the 1704 [Popery] Act, obliging holders of public office to take sacraments according to the usage of the Church of Ireland, gradually excluded Presbyterians from town corporations even in Ulster. Despite the regium donum and the Toleration Act, their equivocal relationship with the civil power remained, and would provide a key theme in the radicalization of the Irish political world after 1780, when the threat of Catholic disaffection apparently receded. [From: Modern Ireland, 1600–1972. By R.F. Foster]
Still, the Popery Act would have had consequences for the historical Fowls and Butlers as Old English families. Beyond the Test clause in the Popery Act, it also limited Catholics' ability to buy/lease land, as well as limited inheritance from a Catholic to be by gavelkind i.e., divided equally, and thus shrinking with each generation, the estate between all sons, rather than according to Primogeniture.
It begs the question of how Fowl Manor remained in the hands of the family, rather than becoming the estate of a member of the New English.
As anti-Catholic sentiment was largely grounded in the political context of loyalty to the Crown (as opposed to the Pope), certain members of the Old English gentry could have (and did!) find ways to join the wave of the Protestant Ascendancy.
"The Anglo-Ireland of the day in fact encompassed sizable middle and lower classes -- a heterogeneity that Foster finds "exemplified by that quintessential Ascendancy institution, Trinity College: defined by Anglicanism but containing sons of peers, of shoemakers, of distillers, of butchers, of surgeons, and of builders" (Foster 1989, 173). And not all the "Anglo-Irish" were, strictly speaking, "Anglo." Early in Bowen's Court, Bowen's historical account of her family's Cork home, we learn that "Bowen" derives from the Welsh "ab Owen" or "ap Owen" (Bowen 1942a, 33). Other Anglo-Irish men and women traced their ancestry to the Old English and to Catholics who converted to Protestantism in order to reap the accompanying social, political and material rewards. Violet Martin (better known as Martin Ross) descended from the Old English Martins of Ross, who had owned land in Galway and had converted to Protestantism in the eighteenth century (McMahon 1968, 123). As Thomas Flanagan concludes, "there were many ways of being Anglo-Irish" (Flanagan 1966, 59). So what, then, defined Anglo-Irishness? In [R.F. ] Foster's view, it was Anglicanism. Anglicanism "defined a social elite, professional as well as landed, whose descent could be Norman, Old English, Cromwellian or even (in a very few cases) ancient Gaelic. Anglicanism conferred exclusivity, in Ireland as in contemporary England; and exclusivity defined the [Protestant] Ascendancy, not ethnic origin" From: An Anarchy in the Mind And in the Heart: Narrating Anglo-Ireland. By Ellen M. Wolff
And what do we find out in the first book of Artemis Fowl?
"Beside [Angeline] was a facsimile of [Artemis'] father, constructed from the morning suit he'd worn on that glorious day in Christchurch Cathedral fourteen years ago." From: Artemis Fowl. By Eoin Colfer
Christchurch Cathedral (in Dublin) is Anglican in denomination!
I just think it is so cool that across a few sentences from Artemis Fowl and The Arctic Incident, it is possible to situate the Fowl family within a semi-realistic history of Ireland.
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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Y’know. Artemis Fowl opinion time.
I personally think that the fact that the Fowl family has only just left the life of crime by the time of Artemis’s birth is drastically underutilized in the series. Really, I think if it wasn’t an element at all (and instead the Fowls’ connection to crime was further back in their history), it wouldn’t change much.
An old criminal enemy of the Fowls is never presented as an antagonist. No previous crime committed by Sr. is ever a problem for Artemis (really, Tim’s crimes- stealing mummies, car built for kidnapping, etc- are often played as outrageous and nigh-humorous). Hell, non-fairy law enforcement isn’t even a problem until the twins’ series, and that’s still fairy-related!
In fan content I usually only see such matter in regards to Fowl Senior committing murderous crimes (which is non-canon guys I know it’s probably fun but that is not canon), or vague discussions of Angeline’s possible involvement in crime.
Part of me wonders what it would be like if the series had Artemis trying to revive the glory of their earlier ancestors in crime, especially as a “last resort” to acquire money to find his father. Idk, I don’t think much would change, but it’s fun to think about. What that would look like for him, I suppose, and his family.
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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Can you fix him?
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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was tired last night, drew a Spiro
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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Holly the girl you are
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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Gifted-kid-burnout Artemis Fowl is so important to me. He gets half-way to Mars and is just like “oh no… I don’t believe I want to think anymore??” And spends the rest of the trip just staring at the stars and Not Thinking.
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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Holly's installment in a portrait series I've done for (some of) the Artemis Fowl main characters. I was gonna make the series my banner but couldn't quite think of a way to piece it together.
She's definitely dealing with some nonsense from Artemis, or Mulch, or maybe both.
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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i miss drawing Arty
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four-makes-my-bottom-sore · 2 months ago
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Maybe we'll be lucky and in 6 years Artemis Fowl will get a tv show reboot that's more faithful to the books.
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