foryoumoira

[foryoumoira]

They say when your heart breaks, it hurts a lot. Well, they didn't mentioned about feeling broken.

[foryoumoira]

9 December ‘20

There are days where I sleep longer than the times I’m awake.  Because it felt like the days could be shorter - faster.  Then, I realized, there isn’t anything to look forward to anyhow...

So, why bother? 

[foryoumoira]

The Year of Endings

Endings are quite a mindfuck aren’t they?  They’re sad - yet, there’s joy.  There’s heartbreak, disappointment and grief...  But you still find yourself hopeful, determined and joyful  for the time it was spent - no matter how it may seemed lost now.  Even so, I find that endings are beautiful in its own twisted way.  Cruel as it may be, endings are needed to have new beginnings. 

[foryoumoira]

When I die, bury me with the melodies we used to hum together. My ashes -spread  in the cities we've always wanted  To live in.  This way,  I get to live the lives we've always chased.

[foryoumoira]

Uncertainty seems like the only certain thing at the moment. 

[foryoumoira]

I watch the sunrise now but it’s still not yet enough. 

[foryoumoira]

Calling The Hotline

Hey,

I see you, you know. Like the sunlight peeking out of the horizon just barely coming into the view.

A sight I’d love to see all over again.

I can hear you come in. You voice, soft and silky but warm like a blanket embracing you in the night - comforting

And I can feel you just like the water in the ocean Enveloping you as you try to resurface and to catch your breath

So don’t hide Not to me. Not to anyone.  Not even if they tell you to. But especially not to me.

Because I can see you, hear you, feel~ The same way as you do

And if there’s anything you should know, this is exactly what I tell myself Everyday- Every single time You feel like no one knows who you really are or what you feel  The loneliness that consumes your light even on the brightest days 

Please know, I’m here. You are not alone.

[foryoumoira]

05-15-20

It was supposed to be a sunny day today. It was supposed to be summer.  But at 3am in the morning, I woke up to an alert on my phone from the national government saying that the city was under a storm signal number 2. It should’ve made me feel better. Rainy days were my thing. But the heavy feeling I had been on for the past couple of days (weeks, if I’m completely being honest with myself) remained. And worsen as the sun rose.  These are uncertain times. I don’t know how much more I can take reading this sentence before I claw my eyes out. It’s everywhere. And it was true. That’s why I hate it more.  But I think what people should start saying more is that this is a fucking time of our lives. And not in a good way. Or maybe it is. I’m not yet sure.  I’m currently in a state of mind that is spiralling down fast and I can’t seem to fucking stop. I could’ve stopped it. You know, going downhill. But as soon as I let myself go even just for just a second, I knew there was no stopping from it and just hope that I’m numb enough to not feel the fall. 

But that’s asking too much.  The world is cruel that way. That much I’ve learned. 

For every momentous rise, the fall always ALWAYS feels worse. I guess that’s why we come out stronger than ever. 

I’d like to think -to hope- that I would come out of this time stronger and better. But for now, as I wait just like all of you, I hope that my strength and the strength of others around me would be enough to keep me sane while I continue to fall downhill. 

[foryoumoira]

Maybe today will be okay.  Give it a shot. 

[foryoumoira]

I didn’t think there are days where my mind would shut up.  But here I am today. And though it seems unnerving, I’m glad.  Very glad. 

[foryoumoira]

Hey, 

Today, you’re okay. You woke up feeling better than yesterday.  Now, it’s up to you to make this the best day you can possibly have.  Don’t let fear get to you. 

[foryoumoira]

Aren’t you mad at this vicious cycle? 

And why we let it happen? Why do we even let them? 

[foryoumoira]

I’ve come awakened  but restless and meek  Waiting for that dawn that seems so far away Tell me, is it ever coming at all? 

[foryoumoira]

Today, I feel...

[foryoumoira]

Even my thoughts scare me now. Even my voice feels me with doubt. And even my dreams chase me away. I can't find my happy place anymore but I know its there. Misplaced but not gone. (at foryoumoira.tumblr.com)

[foryoumoira]

The things I have felt have torn me apart. And if that is what you call living, then clearly I am in pieces.

[foryoumoira]

This has been going on for a while now.