formedbruises-blog

[formedbruises-blog]

I knew who you'd be to me when we were in a different city and you didn't lose sight of me. We met people and we walked around and you took us to my favorite museum and I held you as hard as I could by my favorite pieces. My dog looks at you with her tail wagging fast every time you walk through the door. I don't know that I can feel like this yet.

ka

[formedbruises-blog]

I think of you and I think of me driving, you in the passenger seat and your eyes so focused on me that I could barely stare at the road. Songs would come on and you'd go "hey, remember this one?" We both sit with our thoughts and go back to a different time, place, a previous era I hear the thoughts of you and I'm reminded of the times i'd wake up and feel my feet hitting the ground and excited to feel your breath. I'd walk and keep walking and waiting. your presence felt like a ghost. One who left precious presents next to my car door as you'd text me, "go outside". now, I have to blink my eyes harder and harder to see your face when your eyes would light up. I can't feel your touch. I've almost erased you.

ka

[formedbruises-blog]

I've been thinking about you more frequently, and every love quote seems to be about you. I remember the tiny moments, the ones just minutes before sleep or the second you realize your reflexes have changed like muscle memory just believing you're there. I've been crashing and reeling and breathing and feeling. Sometimes it's as simple as waking up in the middle of the night just to be pulled closer. But to still feel just as far away.

[formedbruises-blog]

[formedbruises-blog]

yesterday I was told to let go To cry and not mind not to shut down and swallow.

[formedbruises-blog]

I've been feeling so emotional. It's as simple as the snow flakes coming down or Watching my pup dance around or Listening for the voice I'm not going to hear One that I took away from myself and let you take back with you. The house feels so full and so empty. Surrounded with so much love but still yearning. Catching my breath and counting Looking to see how long it will take. Will someone pick me up again?

ka

[formedbruises-blog]

pt. 2

[formedbruises-blog]

[formedbruises-blog]

she said "I shouldn't have ever ran from you." all of those years ago, I shouldn't have run. she said "why did I leave Cleveland, Ohio without you?" pounding on a steering wheel "we crossed the border of Ohio and I knew it then. I shouldn't have left you. Not behind." "I'm falling in love with you." "Wait. Can I take that back?" we've carried this around for too long, I said and you nodded and we held each other. the fire hasn't run out and I'm scared it never will. drifting into oblivion with you is jumping into a volcano and hoping the lava won't burn my skin. please, don't leave.

ka

[formedbruises-blog]

the worst i've ever been through was my best friend talking to my face ears not listening keep asking "what happened" its five am. there was an accident, kate. she was taken away. i was choking on heartache tears filling my lungs drowning.

ka

[formedbruises-blog]

every text word thought look is a breath of fresh air

[formedbruises-blog]

today you said to me that i freeze

when i’m as warm as a radiator,

my bones turn to ice.

my anxiety has been coursing through my body and you

you have been calming my limbs and whispering sweet nothings

directly into my ear and i feel your words down my spine.

i’m told that i’m beautiful by you more than twice a day

excuse me for my responses.

this body hasn’t been taken care and this mind is weak.

there is a disconnect who’s wires are being fused together 

and your moments are fueling the electricity.

the love and the thoughts are so beautiful, my love.

patterns are falling away and there’s just you.

let me be your safe haven.

[formedbruises-blog]

Your eyes tonight told me a story, a story of hope and despair Wrapped into one box. I tried to tell you mine But fell short at the punch line. Not easy to show or hide whether drunk or high. It's a story of a man taking what's left of a girl Who put herself into a box.

ka

[formedbruises-blog]

I fell in love with your universe, as you fell for mine. Now I’m just waiting for the universe to fall for us. For things to collect and combine.

ka (via formedbruises)

[formedbruises-blog]

I fell in love with your universe, as you fell for mine. Now I'm just waiting for the universe to fall for us. For things to collect and combine.

ka

[formedbruises-blog]

I believe in you.

[formedbruises-blog]

You know what they forget to show in the tv shows and movies? They forget to show the hours upon hours that you sit with your mind cursing at you. How your mind can eat away at the positivity that you've been feeding and nourishing it with. When times seem so dark but you continue to do the laundry and load the dishwasher and clean the shower. It starts to lighten as you plug in a glade plug-in and you start to breathe something that smells fresh. Maybe it's because it's too cold to be outside and fresh air is hard to come by, but sometimes it takes a while for the new air to set in. Positivity is not something fresh or easy but more of a wound that keeps getting ripped farther open with ever breath. With the good, you have to remember the bad. With the positivity you have to see and think of why you're feeding your mind to begin with.

ka