forgottenandlostbarrel

[forgottenandlostbarrel]

surrenderxdorothy‌:

“But nobody who wasn’t there even believes me about Oz, unless they’re from somewhere else too,” she laughed. “Maybe once I write down everything I know, then I could ask someone else. You know, for an outside opinion.”

“Well I’d believe you.” Ben told her. “And I only remember being here so...”

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abandonedxangel‌:

“Nope,” she answered honestly.  She could get curious, and that’s when the questions seemed to bubble out of her, but otherwise, she wasn’t a super chatty person.  “Wow, so you have like total amnesia.  I’m gonna assume you haven’t seen a doctor, so how have you been getting by without remembering anything?” she asked.  “Trust me, I’m a peach and you’re lucky to have met me,” she assured, nodding seriously.  “I spent a lot of time trying to avoid the idea of having a family, and it was the biggest waste of time.  You have someone that wants to claim you as family.  Even if she’s mistaken, why would you try to run from that?” she wondered.  “Just trying to figure out what your deal is.”

“Just me then,” he shook his head. “I saw a nurse when I first got here, even worked in a hospital for a bit.” Because clearly that was the same as talking to a doctor. “I mean it’s not like I forgot how to breathe. I still have the basics down. Birthdays are just fuzzy.” It’s not like Angel didn’t have a point. She did, even Ben knew that, but yet he still couldn’t bring himself to let Shock claim him. “It’s... it’s not that easy.” Ben looked down at his hands. “Honestly? She does seem familiar, they all do.” He pointed at the funeral home. “Some more scarily than others. I-I just can’t explain why, but I can’t. I can’t let her down like that. I hate feeling like I’m just letting them down, that I can’t get passed whatever it is that keeps me from remembering.” Ben kept staring off at the funeral home as he spoke before signing and returning his gaze to his hands. “Keep the poster, I’ll grab another and uh... when you see her will you tell her thanks for always leaving me lollipops? I know she’s the one, even if it’s weird and a little creepy to find them.”

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abandonedxangel‌:

“And you can’t process with her knowing you’re not missing?” she countered, squinting at him when he mirrored her stance.  “…What do you mean?” she inquired, not really understanding his struggle.  Not knowing Shock, she could understand, but not knowing himself?  “Just because you’re being stupid doesn’t mean you don’t seem like a nice person,” she shrugged, letting her hand fall and furrowing her brows at his questions.  “Mask?  What mask?”

“Anyone ever tell you that you ask a lot of questions?” Ben shook his head before taking a deep breath. “I mean before here I don’t know anything. I woke up here and that was that. I know my name is Ben and even that took like a week to remember.” Frankly he wasn’t even convinced it was Ben, but the name felt as good as any and it did feel more familiar than say Frank for example. “Jury is still out on you and whether this is really a nice meeting.” He admitted to her. “Again with the questions. What’s it to you anyway?”

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surrenderxdorothy‌

She hummed thoughtfully. It was a complicated question. “I think some people were lying to me while I was there. But I’m not sure which people, and now that I’m here, it’s hard to know who to ask to find out the truth.”

“You should ask someone who wasn’t there.” He said without really thinking it through. It seemed like the right answer, but he quickly realized there was holes in it. “I guess they wouldn’t know either though... having not been there.”

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abandonedxangel‌:

“Shock actually cried?  She must have been happy to see you, and now you’re back pretending it never happened?  What’s the matter with you?!” she questioned, crossing her arms over her chest.  Shock didn’t seem like the crying type, so the fact that she did meant that this whole thing was way more serious than he was taking it.  “Sure, the normal Shock amount of crazy, but not crazy enough to make up who you are,” she argued.  A small smile appeared when he introduced herself, her head shaking as she held out her hand, the poster firmly in the other one stretched far away from him.  “Angel.  Nice to meet you, Ben,” she replied.  “Okay, but don’t you think that you two deserve to know what the truth actually is?  You could ask whatever questions you might have, and she could explain what she knows?  Maybe once she starts telling you, it’ll all start to make sense again.  Did you ever think about that?”

What was the matter with him? A lot, probably. Still, Ben furrowed his brow and even went as far to roll his eyes at her. “I’m not pretending, I’m processing!” He defended crossing his arms to mimic her. “I don’t know her, I don’t know any of them, I don’t even know me.” He looked at her hand cautiously when she stuck it out, he wasn’t sure he wanted to shake the hand of a girl scolding him. “You don’t make it seem like it’s nice.” He mumbled as he shook her hand. “What if I don’t want to know the truth? What if all I want is to make go back to how it was before she showed me the mask?” He shook his head.

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surrenderxdorothy‌:

“I guess that’s not very much to go on.” She furrowed a brow, shrugging herself. “Oh, I remember most of Kansas and Oz. I’m not sure I understood everything that was happening at the time, but remembering isn’t the problem.”

“What is the problem?” He asked, honestly he was glad to shift the attention to Dorothy.

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surrenderxdorothy‌:

“What do you remember?” she asked. She knew she was being nosy, but he hadn’t told her to leave him alone yet. She’d noticed that a lot of people really liked to be asked questions about themselves.

What did he remember? Every time he tried to think back on before he woke up in Fableton he was met with a haze. Occasionally something would break through, nothing that was ever clear. “I remember being in a tub and I think I slid a note under a door once.” Ben told her before shrugging. “What do you remember?”

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abandonedxangel‌:

“If you told her you weren’t missing, she would stop hanging them up, dummy,” she shook her head.  Her brows furrowed when he explained why he hadn’t told Shock, her lips pursing before she yanked the poster out of his reach.  “Uh uh uh.  I have some more questions.  Why is it complicated?  Shock might be a bit odd, but she doesn’t seem like a liar or an actual crazy person.  If she thinks you’re her missing brother, I’d say the chances are she’s telling the truth.”

“Yeah.... the last time I talked to her it ended in her crying so that’s a no go ghost rider.” Ben told her before sighing heavily at the sky when she yanked the poster away. “Really?” He tilted his head in disbelief. “She didn’t seem at least a little on the crazy side to you? Now I’m just concerned about your mental state.” He chuckled slightly before clearing his throat. “I don’t know who I am, other than I’m Ben. I am Ben by the way, hi.” He gave a wave. “I’m sure it’s not impossible that I am her brother, but I don’t remember ever being her brother. And honestly it’s kind of shitty.” Ben explained. “If I am what she says then something made me forgot or I chose to forget and I’m not sure if I want that to be true.”

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stitchedsally‌:

“And that’s okay,” she tried to reassure him, even if it broke her heart for the trio a little bit. A soft huff of laughter escaped her, “Sane is a very relative term, sweetheart, I promise you that. We’re entirely normal for what we’re used to, after all.” She shook her head at him, “If you want to be Ben, then that’s who you should be. No one has any right to tell you otherwise.”

“Relative or not, it won’t stop people from looking at you strangely.” He shrugged. “That’s it?” Ben asked. “You’re not going to tell me how I’m breaking Shock’s heart or if I just tried a little harder I could remember?” So far that had seemed like the status quo. “I mean I appreciate you not and please continue to not, but it’s just a bit surprising. Uh, thanks I guess for not pushing or guilting.”

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guardianofdreamssanderson‌:

Sandy tried to follow the train of thought but it was rather confusing and he frowned a little. ‘That sounds complicated’ He wrote, before smiling again, ‘I am. Though I think I will be soon becoming a counselor. Though I hope to keep my office. I rather like it.’ It had a lot of odd maps of constellations everywhere, some photographs of planets and moons. Books everywhere. Realizing that his office is probably really messy to clean he smiled sheepishly. ‘Sorry if it is difficult to clean.’ 

“Short answer, yes. It’s a bit complicated.” Ben said returning his smile. “Do you think you’ll keep teaching as well as counseling?” He asked as he finished reading the rest of what Sandy wrote. “Don’t worry about it, I like your office too. It’s a good place to escape and still look like I’m doing work.” He laughed.

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abandonedxangel‌:

Every once in a while, Angel takes the time to stop by and chat with Jack.  He was a huge part of why she had gotten as far as she had, not just in school, but in life, and all she could think to pay him back for that was by keeping him in her life.  He might pretend to hate it, but she knew he loved her love and affection.  On her way out after one visit, she saw some guy drop something out of his book.  She managed to snag it before he could reach it, her eyes widening when she saw his face on one of the posters she swore she had seen Shock hanging up.  “No way.  That’s you.  You’re…  Why haven’t you told Shock?”

“Maybe because I’m not missing and she hangs those up.” Ben explained. He had seem the other blonde on occasion and had more than once thought she was Shock as he usually ducked behind the nearest tree when he saw her. “She thinks I’m someone I’m not. Or maybe I am, I don’t really know anymore. It’s complicated.” He stammered out as he reached for the poster. “If I could just get that back.”

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surrenderxdorothy‌:

Like most things, it was something Dorothy had read in a book, but she was more interested in his story than in explaining herself. She frowned, tucking a leg under her as she turned to face him. “You’re not her brother? That sucks.”

“I guess it does.” Ben said. “I don’t remember a lot of things, but that seems like something I would remember.”

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nightmaarejack‌:

If he’d spent any length of time around them, he would know that crazy was kind of a relative term when it came to the Halloweentown residents. “It’s nice to meet you, Ben. I’m Jack,” he offered, perhaps unnecessarily given they were right outside the funeral home. “No one suggested otherwise. Stay as long as you like.” He gestured for him to stay seated but kept his distance. He cast a subtle glance over his shoulder where Ben’s attention seem fixed, but if there was something there, it was nothing Jack could see. “Of course not. Black widows are a classic.” He paused, adding casually, “I don’t recommend them as a Christmas gift though.”

Jack. The name caused Ben gulp slightly as his head spun. “J-jack...” he echoed softly. Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back, and scream like a banshee, make you jump out of your skin. “Okay.” Ben muttered taking back his seat at Jack’s suggestion, mostly because he wasn’t sure his legs would hold him anymore. More figures seemed appear in the corner of Ben’s eyes, all too burly to made out clear. At least three held tightly to umbrellas, one seemed like a blob, and another three held brooms and twirled their hair at Jack. “I think so too...” Ben smiled, chuckling a little at them being Christmas present. “Depends on the kid I guess.” Our man Jack is King of the Pumpkin patch, “everyone hail to the Pumpkin King...” Ben mumbled along with the voices before cringing, his ears ringing ever so slightly. “Sorry,” he muttered. “It’s loud around you. I know it’s not actually... I should go.”

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% (Angel)

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text

Ben: I’ve seen you around drawing

Ben: That sounded creepy, sorry. I just mean I also draw, sketch. Not nearly as good probably.

Ben: Hi, my name is Ben and I’ve on occasion when doing the whole sweeping thing have noticed you draw. I also sketch, maybe you’d like to compare our drawings sometime?

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guardianofdreamssanderson‌:

‘No need for apology.’ Sandy wrote, letting the boy glance at it when he had the chance. He immediately recognized him from the university and smiled warmly at him in hopes that he doesn’t make anyone too nervous. Nodding at the explanation, he began to write slowly, and hesitantly showed the question. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Sandy has become rather aware that not everyone wants to talk about their problems. Though he did wish he could help more. 

Ben had recognized the man as well from the university, he taught something to with stars if Ben recalled correctly. “I guess you could call it family drama, but not really. I mean they think it’s family drama, I’m less sure about it being family based.” It was a poor description. “You’re a professor, right? I clean your classroom and office. Your class seems interesting going off the room.”

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stitchedsally‌:

Sighing quietly, Sally sat down on the bench and looked over at him. It hurt her to see Barrel… no, Ben… so lost, and all she wanted was to try and help him. “I don’t think any of us are entirely who we used to be, Ben,” she said gently, playing with the necklace that hung from a long chain on her neck. “I think she’s sorry if she scared you, and she understands that things are different.” Her words were careful, thought through.

“I don’t even remember who I used to be, I only remember here.” He admitted. Ben knew that only helped proved their theory. “To be fair I was following her...” he added with a shrug. “It’s all I can do to not feel like I’m going crazy anymore, and no offense, but you all seem kinda... not sane.” He was less careful with his words, more awkward. “I know because I don’t remember who I was that I should be jumping at being someone, but I already feel like somebody. I’m Ben, I’m okay with just being Ben.”

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stitchedsally‌:

Sally had taken note of the young man who sat across from the funeral home, as it was nearly impossible not to notice when she spent a great deal of her time there. On this trip out, the fumbling had her smiling softly, even if it was a little sad around the edges. Picking up the paper, she felt her heart break all over again even though she knew she couldn’t push at him. After all, with Shock under her roof, it was impossible for her to remain unaware of the young man’s identity. She held it out to him, a kind of peace offering, “Don’t you want them to stop worrying?” The question was quiet and gentle as she studied him, trying to make sure he was okay.

“Thanks,” Ben said softly as he took back the piece of paper. He let out a soft sigh at her question. He had seen the redhead coming and going from the funeral home so it there was no doubt that Shock had told her about her theories. There was a sort of warm familiarity about her, something almost safe feeling, but Ben couldn’t quite put his finger on to why. The was also a strange motor sound whenever he saw her and voice that was very nasally, usually complaining about something. Right now the voice was complaining about the lack of appreciation and stimulating conversation. “I-I’m not who they think I am.” Ben told her as he looked down. “Does she still think that... you know.” He gave a slight tilt of his head.