floatinghijabi

[floatinghijabi]

why did e walk all the way over to another exit when there was an exit right behind me? was it just to walk past me?

[floatinghijabi]

i write

i write to feel

i write to take

i write to write my thoughts away

i write to see

i write to touch

i write to care more than i thought

i write to release

i write to wonder

i write to keep my thoughts asunder

i write to be

i write as i was

i write to finish this stanza

[floatinghijabi]

eric

i know it's wrong

but i still cling to your memory

and your grey hairs and inquisitive stare

your olive eyes framed by palm leaf lines

and that rare smile you flash

if you dare to do so

i know it's wrong but

your callous exterior yet vibrant being,

all wrapped into a crisp suit and tie,

still tugs at my heart, becking me to unravel your mystery

as you're weighed down by your satchel filled with lies.

i know it's wrong to see you in that light

as you go from class to class in your shiny new shoes

so perfect like the fall of your strands of styled hair

and ironed linens

i know it's wrong to think we were more than our dynamic

set up by an institution so known for its corruption

saving its face with deception, and title, and rank.

i know it's wrong to believe in a future together

but i still cling to it as if it has already passed.

i cannot help but think i have imagined the beginning again

and your inquisitive stare was merely a searing gaze,

as you overflow, enraged,

remembering a past regret.

and so,

history repeats

[floatinghijabi]

In the gentle cradle of his embrace, I traced the contours of his face, each curve a testament to the love that swelled within me. But as my fingers danced upon his skin, a silent ache whispered through the chambers of my heart, for I knew that our love was destined to be a fleeting dream, a wistful melody that would never find its way.

As I gazed into his eyes, I saw the reflection of my own longing, mirrored in the depths of his gaze. And though I yearned for him with every fiber of my being, I knew that our paths were destined to diverge, leading us to separate shores, forever out of reach.

Yet, amidst the pain, there bloomed a bittersweet tenderness, a love that transcended the boundaries of time and space. For even as I knew he would never truly be mine, I cherished every moment spent in his presence, etching his smile into the recesses of my heart and mind, a cherished memory that would endure the test of time.

In the quiet solitude of my thoughts, I captured his image, a snapshot of happiness and warmth, forever imprinted upon the canvas of my soul. And though I may never love another as I have loved him, I carry the beauty of what I had with him, a beacon of light in the darkness, guiding me through the endless expanse of eternity.

[floatinghijabi]

[floatinghijabi]

To The Women of Our Family

If you listen for a while

To the newfound breeze,

You can hear a girl screaming for

Her and her mother

Mama,

If I listen closely to the crying of

The baby, a footprint in a desert, bundle of innocence,

Why do I hear the sounds of generations?

Mama,

Tell me why we still feel it on our bones,

Not on our heads,

Tell me why we still carry it on

Just as she always carried that bread,

Without re-memory of white evils?

Will you love her and me the same?

Will you carry us on your head in the rain?

[floatinghijabi]

Calculated Confusion

The sea gives the animals a

Place of their own when they

Reject flying and start falling.

She spoke to me when the sea

Was crashing over my life raft

And created rushed confusion which prolonged

Longer.

Who am I?

That day, the horizon seemed

Farther, then

I seemed to have lost my sight.

Words of strength and dignity and poise and grace

Flow.

I want to be her,

But those calculated thoughts

are so far now.

The animals hear me even though

They are baren in the deepest, entrenching

Bowl of life.

The light spills out of

the water constantly.

A beat,

And my life raft soon submerges

With those likeminded.

[floatinghijabi]

Stranger Love

It’s been a while since I last

Made my way over to this blank

Page. I carry the memories underneath

My eyelids so that maybe one day I can

See you in front of me again. And I stupidly

Dream of the aisle and floral arrangements

But I get too far ahead, I guess it’s in my

Genes. And I don’t cry as often, as much,

Anymore, happy memories fill my mind

All day, all night

And I am okay with letting

Go now, if you are okay with it too?

It feels I’ve accepted the fact

That maybe our bond was not as strong

As we thought it was. Maybe we needed

More than hand holds and sweet, bright

Laughs. Maybe more late-night conversations

About our own pasts. I am a part of yours,

And you seem to be swaying along the tracks, far

From seventeen and all that we mean,

Or meant.

[floatinghijabi]

11/15/23

i just realized i’ve never developed a crush on my own, they always had to develop a crush on me first. i think it’s because deep down i feel like no one would be romantically interested in me. and even when i reciprocate the crush, they always end up losing feelings.

i low key might die alone lolol

[floatinghijabi]

This is not war.

When one side cuts off water, food and electricity on another then it’s not war.

When one side has nuclear weapons then it’s not war.

When one side is getting funded with billions of dollars then it’s not war.

When one side uses AI pictures to spread misinformation about another then it’s not war.

When social media is censoring the content of one side and not the other then it’s not war.

This isn’t a conflict and it’s not war.

This is genocide and mass destruction and we’re witnessing it happen live.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free 🇵🇸

[floatinghijabi]

Relocate to fucking where? There are functionally only two roads out, one leads to Israel and the other leads to Egypt. Israel obviously isn’t letting Palestinians in, and the Rafah Border Crossing into Egypt remains closed to Palestinians. And Israel has been continuously bombing the fuck out of the path to Egypt.

So where do the Palestinian war refugees gO??

How in the fresh hell are 1 million civilians, half of them children, supposed to “evacuate” a war torn area without any functioning mass transportation, within 24 hours? That’s school children, hospital patients and workers, UN staffers (who have also been bombed to death by Israeli forces), pregnant women, disabled people, patients on oxygen, the elderly—whatever—they’re all just supposed to pack up and evacuate in the middle of an active war zone, or I guess Benjamin Netanyahu will have the IDF kill them all?

[floatinghijabi]

* Israel says all Palestinians must vacate northern Gaza within 24 hours

* Israel says significant military operations will take place in Gaza City in the coming days and residents must move south

this is ethnic cleansing in full view.

and make no mistake this is done so when a literal massacre takes place within 24 hours, these genocidal mfs will throw up their hands and say "we warned them"

[floatinghijabi]

9/12/23

sometimes i feel like i don’t belong, other times i feel so safe. i don’t know what to feel anymore, it’s like my emotions run away from be just before i grab them. i can get a hold of what i should feel anymore. it’s like i’m in this intermediate space between knowing someone well and not knowing them at all. i feel like my presence is so disturbing. i don’t know what to do

[floatinghijabi]

‘Opawlia’ by Susan Herbert (1945 - 2004)

[floatinghijabi]

Frog Knitting Pattern by DotPebbles Knits on Etsy

Pictures and project by @indiarosecrawford on instagram

[floatinghijabi]

artist: angela mckay

[floatinghijabi]

ghost + wren