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his voice is like butter

melting on my warm ears

it lights the fire in my soul

leaving me with soft echos

of his melted butter words

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mark fuckerburg

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every aspect of myself, emotions and thoughts included, has been so muted and fleeting for this past while, so much of the time I haven't really felt anything at all

and hot dang I don't normally get angry or lash out, but looks like I now experience random flashes of blind fury?? for someone who doesn't often go beyond annoyance, being so enraged that I can barely breathe is a real trip. Really uncalled for. Really illogical.

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how does real silver have such a singular shine? gold is nice enough but silver catches and hold the light in the most unique way, so warm and buttery? it's almost hard to understand the ancient reverence and cultural significance of gold when silver seems to defy any environment and sparkle with a delicacy like lace in the afternoon sun

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i was thinking about size today, about time. divinity is such an incomparable concept. it has no size, no time. it is not a flat circle that can be measured or witnessed. it is wild and old and it lasts, through time, through death, will continue to last regardless of entropy. because it does not decay. when you are divine, you are divine forever, there is no force that births or kills you, no gravity dragging your bones into the dust and grit of the earth. 

the next time you think you are small, remember that the stars made you and will devour you when they go, but even then, you will last. 

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If millions of other people can live without having him in their life then so can I

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Little things for when you're feeling low:

Make yourself a indulgent drink (whatever decadence you prefer, a thickshake with marshmallows and melted chocolate on top, iced tea, anything)

Read a passage aloud in a language you don't speak (listen to the way your voice sounds different to how you speak other languages, align with an alternate timeline in which Polish you is messing around with English right now)

Hair treatment (condition before and after shampoo, comb oil through, DIY masque, you name it)

Do something just a bit eccentric (I love to jog down the road in whatever I'm already wearing, holding a glass of water, which looks weird but it's such a strong vibe you forget your worries)

Channel a teen movie character (whenever they're relaxing at home, they always seem to look good, cute sloppy, stylised messy hair, snacks and magazines in a bedroom with fairy lights... that could be you, and you could feel great)

Find something pretty, sit there, and write about it in detail (even bad poetry can ground you in your environment, and make you deeply appreciate the beauty of the mundane)

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ever caught between getting better and getting so much worse

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are you...okay?

You ever see your hands? Feel them. Pay attention to the skin, the bone, the flex of muscle. The twitches of fiber, the drawing of muscle cords that raise and lower your fingers. Can you feel it? Can you sense the slow atrophy, the steady expense of energy – can you sense yourself dying? You’re crumbling into dust. The earth waits for you to return.

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the drive to escape it all and end my suffering sits constantly in the back of my throat, is forever churning in my stomach and rising up to the silence at every moment of solitude

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what does it say about me that I miss someone less for who they were, and more for the version of myself they made me?

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Art | Quotes

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um sobbing in the darkness before sunrise, when the air is still and the world slumbers?? you flicker out of reality and glimpse a frightening reality that calls to you and that's what I'm about