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Don't you ever think about how Neil Josten and Ronan Lynch could have had The Relationship Ever?..

There are enough clear parallels between ronan and andrew that I think it's easy to imagine neil finding ronan reliable in this core, fundamental way that he craves. But also, crucially, ronan and andrew are different characters and operate differently: ronan is also steadfast and loyal and honest as a principle.

But also: he's more honest than andrew in the way that he's unashamed of his emotions, not hiding them. More expressive, less withdrawn. This is a different type of honesty. He's transparent on a principle. On a contradiction, he's very good at keeping secrets: that's one of his dimentions, a different level of depth to ris reliability. He's antagonistic and angry (at the time period of the books), but it's a given to him that he's loyal to his loved ones, that he compromises. That makes him reliable, too - his priorities. All of this i think Neil would be attracted to - not nessesarily in a romantic way. The way i think their relationship could work, is if they met before ronan's father's death (maybe in a dream?... As children or young teens?...)

There are enough adam/neil parallels that I think I don't have to explain. But also: neil would play off of ronan in a very different way, because he has the capacity to be just as angry and reactive as ronan is. I think it would give ronan a really judgment-free zone for how he managed his grief, and also, a zone of understanding (shared trauma of a dead parent? But also vey different trauma. But also, similar in some ways?). And wanting to help neil through the events of the books, giving him focus instead, but also making him desperate because he can't really help even though he has this power.

Imagine: them knowing each other through dreams, getting to know each other and growing up together, both not sure if the other person is real but wanting to belive in it, having this shared safe space in the dreams where everything is possible. And then we reach the books, and nothing is safe, and the forest is gone, and ronan is dying and neil is dying, but then it ends, and they're both alive, and they can do something about it, and ronan finds him in the real world, bringing dream anti-scar cream.

(extra potential for ronan and adam working together to bring down nathan and preventing some of the worst to happen)

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I would never survive long-lasting depressive episodes because one (1) day of not getting enough sleep and i am ready to throw in the towel. Im done. Nothing will ever be good again. My life is pointless, meaningless and empty. All things good are a lie, an illusion, and finally, I see the world as it truly is. And i'm not even hungry

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I think He Xuan and Shen Jiu could have had a situationship.........

They just both have this throughline on always being hungry for more, never being satisfied, taking. Shen Jiu feels he's inherently unlovalble; receiving affection from He Xuan, after he's already been so rough with him (it's a fwb kinky sex type situation) makes him feel secure, like he knows what the condition, the catch is to recieving that affection. He Xuan is also very strong: Shen Jiu doesn't think that he'll ever have the need to choose to abandon Shen Jiu for his own safety (that 'danger' is ostensibly coming from his position in the sect, but actually it's the trauma of Qi-ge abandoning him) - Shen Jiu doesn't think he'd ever be chosen, but if that type of situation never occurs, he's safe. He's allowed to feel safe because He Xuan is strong (que his competency kink?)

Also, Shen Jiu feels understood. Nothing is ever enough for him. Nothing is ever enough for He Xuan, also. At that point in life, he doesn't have anyone else he can confide this to, and he's lonely. Having just one person understand, to an extent, what drive his behaviour, has to be significant. I hc Shen Jiu having made food stashes 'just in case'. He Xuan, who had starved, would get why he does that, even though he can have all the food that he wants, now.

He Xuan himself is also lonely: he's focused on his goal and he tells himself that everything else isn't inportant. But he allows himself this. Shen Jiu is so alive, so present. He's not a ghost, or a demon, but he's just as resentful, just as desperate. He fights for He Xuan's affection, tooth and nail. After he'd become a demon. All the love belongs to the life 'before' - to his family, his bride. Now he exists only to avenge them. He deliberatly reduces himself to that. But there's Shen Jiu, wanting him anyway, just as he is. He can let his scholarly side show - Shen Jiu can keep up. Shen Jiu is never surprised at a new dimention of him: most people on his peak only see one dimention of Shen Jiu, too. He's impressed by his acting: just by the skill, not the usefulness. He Xuan has someone he can take care of, after so long.

I just think they're neat.............. Its not like i wrote a fic about them reconciling............ Who said that thats crazy...........

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Wrote monsterfucking horror porn. It was great and i can actually just do anything forever, huh