fincheska

[fincheska]

I used to be told my feelings were valid... I don't know what to believe anymore. Am I going crazy? Am I too dramatic or emotional? Am I the one who is a piece of shit? All I ever do is try to make everyone around me happy and the moment I have an issue, I'm the fucking irrational one who overreacts to everything and everyone needs to walk on eggshells around me. I don't know what to do anymore. I haven't felt this suicidal since I was 12. I haven't felt this alone, this exhausted, this dead inside, this tiny in so long. And I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I try so hard. Maybe my best isn't good enough and I should just give up. I'm never gonna win the race so might as well throw in the towel

[fincheska]

I feel like a child again; too afraid to tell anyone how I truly feel

[fincheska]

I wish I had someone to talk to

[fincheska]

I'm desperate for motivation. Living with my fiance makes it hard to stick to my diet cuz he makes me feel like maybe I dont need to diet. Maybe I am thin enough. And then I snack. And then I regret it the next morning. I need out of this cycle. I'm getting married end of august. I want to look ethereal in my wedding gown. I hope I can get my self control back soon

[fincheska]

Relapsing

For the 100th time. It came just in time for me to lose weight before my high school student council reunion so that's cool. I'm more so excited to just be losing weight again, tbh. I was getting way too comfortable with food.

[fincheska]

Jesus said

"Do unto those as you would have them do unto you"

Well this lack of reciprocation is slowly killing me inside

[fincheska]

Does anybody else out there feel like no one could possibly ever understand what's going on in your brain so you just keep to yourself? I've tried explaining it before. I've given up at this point

[fincheska]

Sometimes I don't want to live...

My brain feels so toxic

[fincheska]

"I feel fat"

- Me

[fincheska]

Coffee for breakfast and diet coke for lunch because I don't deserve to eat 👍

[fincheska]

Keep to yourself

I keep telling myself that over and over and it feels like its chipping at my heart but I know it will protect everyone else around me. I feel broken

[fincheska]

Im such a fat stupid b*%$&

I ate a shit ton of candy last night. Went from 116.2 to 118.8lbs. I want to kill myself. I definitely dont want to eat candy anymore. And my crying over my weight this morning means relapse is definitely settling in. Oddly enough I want anorexia to settle back in faster so I can finally lose weight again even though part of me doesnt want this ugliness. Always torn between healthy and skinny.

[fincheska]

Relapsing

I havent been counting calories for the past few months and it was nice. But for some reason i dont feel good enough anymore. That the 113 pounds ive maintained these few months is no longer ok. I need to get skinnier. I need to feel light and dainty again. I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul.

[fincheska]

I ate too comfortably last week

And now I hate myself 👍 Why do I do always do this when I start making real progress? 🐖

[fincheska]

Im finally in the underweight category again!!

Its been over a year since I've had a BMI under 18.5 and it feels so good to be back 😊 100 pounds here I come 👍

[fincheska]

5 Ingredient Low Cal Strawberry Cream bombs 🍓

This was inspired by the Keto Cheescake fat bombs but I low cal-ed it for our own good :)

These can always be adjusted to your own preferences!! (ex: doubled, halved, or even mixing diff flavors in!)

Best Part about these is you can binge on them and barely end up with 225 cal!

^ try and share them with family or friends to avoid a binge

Servings: 6

Cals per serving: 37!!

Size: Reese’s cup size :)

Ingredients

- 1 tbsp cream cheese* -50-

- 1 tbsp coconut oil* (trust me its for hardening them up) -120-

- 2 tbsp 0% fat yogurt* -16-

- ½ cup diced strawberries* -36-

- ½ tsp vanilla extract* -0 to 5 cal-

- ½ packet of Stevia Sweetener (optional) -0-

- 6 silcone muffin liners (or spray with 0 cal nonstick)

Directions

- Dice up strawberries and pour into blender (or food processer)

- Blend strawberries until puree-like texture

- Blend in the yogurt, coconut oil, cream cheese, vanilla extract, and sweetener until smooth

- Pour the creamy goodness into muffin liners

- Freeze for 3 hours or until solid

- Enjoy! 🍓

( You can even sprinkle them with graham crackers, dark chocolate, or even more strawberry slices for an extra twist! :)

[fincheska]