feyxareum

[feyxareum]

yujinfey​:

{ ... }

“so you could say anything and make it worse. he’s already chosen that path tonight. i think anything would make him mad at this point, but the conversation is already derailed enough. i mean, look at his girlfriend, she looks like she wants to intervene, maybe she’ll go and get someone to help break it up soon, if someone else hasn’t already. i might.. say something to the bartender, at least, unless they stop talking on their own. i mean, i feel kind of worse for her, honestly, that her partner would do something like that because of his own ego.. or if he didn’t even trust her enough to make up things like that. she deserves better,” yujin finishes, and he realizes he’s probably been talking quite a lot, but when he’s a few drinks in, it tends to happen. and she had asked him what he thought about it, even if he did derail it quite a bit into another topic.

maybe he would be a bit more perceptive if he hadn’t drank as much as he did already, but he did come here to forget more than anything else.

@feyxareum

areum listens closely, not once bothering to try and stop the male from talking. instead she finds it’s quite interesting, the fact that not only had she sat there and accidentally exposed something about herself but also the fact that he was going on and on about the situation playing out between the two strangers. she can’t help but prop her elbow up on the bar, resting her chin in the palm of her hand as she continues to listen to the stranger beside her and give a small smirk as she watches him.

did he really not catch on to the fact that she had been able to hear what was happening? if so then either he was really dense, though she highly doubted that seeing as he was correct about quite a few things he had spoken, or he just really didn’t care. either way, areum was slightly intrigued by the whole situation. it wasn’t something she had expected to even happen to her tonight, finding such an interesting being like him. she gives a small nod in response to show that she was actually listening to every word he said before averting her attention to the scene playing out a bit away from them. “no, i don’t know any of the people involved. let’s just say...i can read situations?”

she wasn’t trying to be convincing in the slightest, not caring about whether or not he were to finally realize that she wasn’t exactly human, that she was just some monster blending it with society tonight. the only reason she had even decided to come out tonight and enjoy a little ‘fun’ was because she had nothing better to do. her men were currently hunting someone down for her, so in the meantime she figured it would be tolerable to try and act as if she were even slightly interested in what was happening in the human world, the world that she despised more than anything really.

“so you’re feeling pity for her?” this causes areum to let out a cold laugh as she shakes her head and pushes herself away from the bar. “i can see that we have different views on the matter here. in fact, i quite enjoy seeing the pain and suffering of others. it’s what makes living in this world a little more exciting really.” her head tilts slightly to the side as she watches the female who does seems as if she’s about to break down at any moment. seeing the fear in the girl’s eyes only makes areum love this even more than she thought she would.

“humans are pathetic.” she whispers this to herself as she continues to watch, eyes narrowing just slightly and not caring whether or not the stranger beside her was able to pick up on her words.

she takes a moment to glance around the room, seeing that not very many people were really caring about the situation taking place around them. “so... who do you think would win if this were to continue?” she directs the question at the male beside her before returning her attention to him, seeming as if she’s actually interested in what his answer will be. could she easily put a stop to this whole thing? yes, in fact she could have easily prevented it escalading as far as it has, though what would be the fun in that?

to her this was all just like some show happening in the middle of the club, some sort of entertainment for her to enjoy while she enjoyed a few drinks and some dancing here and there. though to some it could seem as if it were possibly annoying or even a ‘scary’ situation seeing as no one really knew which direction the whole thing would go in. would there be a physical fight if the two men were left alone for too long? or would it just naturally die down after a few verbal insults and end with that? there were so many possibilities that could happen and yet there were mixed reactions from the crowd that was watching all of this.

“my bet is on the boyfriend. he has all of that pent up anger that could easily be used to help him gain the upper hand, however, taking into consideration that he is in fact drunk... it could also be the innocent bystander who happened to be drug into this whole mess.” she was definitely enjoying this all a little too much and it was showing.

[feyxareum]

yujinfey​:

trouble/maker

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ —

{ ☾ }

it makes him wonder, how many people in this club are looking for distractions, looking for an opportunity to forget, just how much they would do for a moment of solace, of peace, even with the music loud and the place crowded.

thinks about what he would do for a moment of clarity, of control.

he takes another sip of his drink.

@feyxareum

those that knew her pretty decently, who knew that she was a vampire, would probably question why areum sometimes showed up to clubs. it wasn’t because she did it to get drunk, knowing very well that alcohol had no affect on her, though that didn’t mean she couldn’t still come out and attempt to enjoy some of the music that was played or even have her own little fun screwing with others.

it always amazed her how humans could easily get drunk off of just a few drinks, not remembering herself what that feeling was like since she had been around for so long that the memory of such situations just sort of disappeared over time. one thing she did know though was that humans were more vulnerable with just the right amount of alcohol in their system, that alone was enough for her to have a little bit of entertainment at least.

as the male beside her speaks she looks at the two strangers as they continue to argue, shaking her head in response to his question about intervening. “what fun would that be?” she asks this, taking a moment to glance over at him with a wicked grin on her lips. “i was thinking something actually more along the lines of seeing how far they would go. instigating this situation they’re in to see if they can really keep from taring one another apart.”

she allows herself to let out a small laugh as her attention returns to the two, tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ear as she watches while one of the men begins to raise his voice at the other. areum takes a moment, pursing her lips in thought as she taps on her bottom lip with her long black nail and thinks of how she can make this argument escalade enough into something more physical.

of course this was just for her own entertainment really, not really considering something such as this as fun. it wasn’t like the usual fun situations she had where she was torturing one of her clients, listening to their screams of pain and agony as she did some pretty...gruesome things to them. no, this was just her being bored and needing a little bit of a show to keep her satisfied for a short while.

areum leans a little closer towards the male beside her while keeping her attention on the two men, speaking only loud enough for him to hear here. “from what i’m hearing, the muscular one has a girlfriend and thinks that the other one is her lover. the interesting part is, the other guy doesn’t even know the girlfriend. so what would you say to him in order to finally hit that last nerve?” her tone seems almost playful but also dangerous as she asks this.

[feyxareum]

∘⡊ ☾ ˚⊹Life Goes On⊹

hundreds of years have passed, many have come and gone, though areum still remained on this earth roaming around. she couldn’t even remember when she began getting tired of the same old things happening, all of the moving she was forced to do, unsure of when exactly it was that she became comfortable with the silence that she now felt more at ease with than dealing with noises of others.

he was gone....again. her own sire had his own ways of doing things, coming and going as he pleased without a single word. at this point she was used to the sudden disappearance, seeing as it was something he did quite a few times over the years. was she upset about it? no, in fact she’s glad he decided to leave rather than stick around. he was someone who was dangerous, someone who put her at risk of even feeling again, and she knew it was better this way, that him being gone yet again meant that she could go back to her normal life she had been living for the past 400 years since the last time he had left.

the fact that he had shown up out of the blue still remained in her thoughts, remembering how he had ended up finding out about how she had once given birth to his child, how the very room she kept hidden in her home contained the memories from those times before she was forced to give the child to another family. maybe it was because of this that he had suddenly left once more, though she wasn’t worried about it and she wasn’t going to overthink the whole situation either. in her eyes, areum was better off alone.

she stands there, standing on top of one of the buildings as she watches the citizens walking down below. the sun had already disappeared, the night sky feeling a lot more comforting to her rather than the daylight.

areum didn’t know why or even how she had ended up here, though she figured it was just her own boredom getting the best of her once again, denying the voice in her head that tells her it’s because she doesn’t want to go home. no, that was something she preferred to do, the quietness of her home was the most comforting and made her feel more relaxed, she wasn’t someone who enjoyed dealing with the humans or even listening to their drunken selves arguing over the dumbest matters.

the slight sudden breeze blowing around her feels nice, her hair moving just slightly as the wind blows past her. it was all his fault, he returned and made her waver, caused her walls to crack and become fragile, she had to fix this and she had to fix it fast before someone came along and finished the job. she couldn’t allow her walls to crumble around her and give in to the humanity that was now clawing at those walls she had worked so hard to build up over time. areum had to return everything back to it’s normal state before she ended up becoming someone she had tried so hard to get rid of, someone who could feel for others and have sympathy.

she was on a thin line and wavering, making her vulnerable. either she would fight it, mend those walls and continue down the path she had set for herself, or she would fall hard and end up letting her humanity win the battle she had been fighting against since she last saw her sire weeks ago.

she would have to work harder than ever and hope that she could hold it all back, hope that the monster inside of her would completely kill off any bit of humanity she was starting to feel. she couldn’t lose this inner battle with herself no matter what, it was dangerous and risky for her to even have the slightest thought of allowing that ‘human’ side of her to return. she’s managed to get by all of these years without such emotions and she wasn’t about to let them take over her again. she just couldn’t.

[feyxareum]

∘⡊ ☾ ˚⊹Troublemaker⊹

a starter for @yujinfey

areum has lived quite a while, she’s experienced a lot of things and even has lived through different eras within history, and at this point it’s gotten to be a bit boring for her really. she had run out of things to do, long having given up living life as some college student or some employee off somewhere at some small business. after living a few hundred years she had begun causing a bit of trouble at times due to boredom, that or just because she wanted to see how humans would act in certain situations.

it was true that she had her little side business where she could enjoy a bit of torture when it came to her clients, though there were times when she found herself wanting to do something else to fill that bit of void she felt deep down.

she rarely really went out to clubs or parties, usually just sitting at home and enjoying the peace and quite of her own personal space, but the times that she did head out she made sure to cause at least a little bit of damage to those around her. no, she didn’t do anything too major that would get her into some sort of trouble with the council, though she did make sure to at least cause a scene as some sort of entertainment for herself.

tonight she had made it one of the nights where she dressed up nicely, well for a party that is, and was currently glancing around the area of the room to find her first target for the night. it wasn’t like it would be too hard for her to do seeing as the majority of people within the club were either almost drunk or were even too drunk to the point that they were stumbling around like a bunch of morons. typical humans.

her gaze lands on someone across the room, eyes narrowing just slightly as a smirk forms. it isn’t long before she makes her way over towards them, making sure to look as casual as possible, however without meaning to she manages to bump into another male which causes her to stop in her tracks. he looked a bit familiar, maybe someone she had seen at some point, though there was also the fact that she had seen millions of people over the years so she didn’t really bother making it a point to memorize faces anymore really.

areum doesn’t apologize to the male, instead she turns to look off when she hears a bit of commotion going on a little ways away from her and the male she had just bumped into, using her hearing to tune into what’s happening. her smirk returns as she realizes that the two men, one trying to pick a fight while the other is just trying to enjoy his time, are arguing over some spilled drink and she’s forgotten the stranger who is standing right next to her. he was the least of her worries right now, in fact even as she thought this she suddenly turns to face him and speaks. “do you want to have a little fun?” her tone is sinister as she asks the stranger this question, figuring that if by some chance he was even somewhat like her that he would want to have a little bit of a show to entertain him as well.

if he didn’t, well she would just enjoy it all herself. either way, her task was to get this little argument that was currently happening to escalade into something more that just words.

[feyxareum]

“I don’t like vampires. I’m gonna take a stand and say they’re not good.”

areum has lived for quite a few years now, at this point she really just didn't keep up with exactly how many years she's lived, and with this she's managed to gain quite a few enemies and has even heard many things that humans have said to her directly or even about her own kind. she would admit even herself that the supernatural beings like her really weren't the kindest, well there were some vampires out there who were too soft but she just considered them to be weak, for her though she knew that she was one who didn't claim to have the slightest bit of niceness about her. it was something she purposefully made herself known for among the others in this world.

she can't help but give a small satisfied smile at the hunter upon hearing his words, though she's quite amused by them. "well of course you wouldn't think so, you're a hunter after all. it's programmed into your mind since day one that vampires are nothing more than blood sucking monsters." her tone as she speaks is relaxed, humming softly as she crosses her arms over her chest and looks at the male for a moment.

areum had heard about jaeyong, hearing how he was so young yet so skilled when it came to hunting creatures such as herself, and even though she could care less about some mere hunter she still found him slightly interesting in a way. he seemed a little different than most hunters she had encountered over the years, hearing the stories of his hunts within the supernatural world here and there even made her want to see just how great of a hunter he really was. when she would hear how he was able to take down even some of the strongest supernatural creatures, areum at some point found herself thinking that they would eventually meet when fate decided to allow them, and now here they were.

"you aren't wrong though, my kind usually aren't good, though you occasionally get the little weaklings who are soft and actually care for others." she scoffs at the thought. "those are the ones that really shouldn't be able to even live really, they allow their softness towards humans get in the way and it's rather sad to watch really."

she lets out a dramatic, yet fake, sigh as she shakes her head slowly, acting as if she almost feels bad for those that do have some sort of humanity. though, she's quick to return to her usual self, smirking as she steps closer to the young hunter. "you know, usually i would actually take this moment to eliminate hunters such as yourself, however, i've heard some things about you and based off of what i've heard, i wouldn't mind letting you live a little longer. you might be able to give me some sort of entertainment when i'm feeling a little bored." she pauses for a moment, gaze still on him as her head tilts just slightly towards the side. "how much pain can you handle? surely as a hunter you have a bit of pain tolerance?"

her tone is now laced with something entirely different than how she was speaking only moments ago, her words she speaks are now more in a sadistic sort of way. knowing her, she loved causing physical pain to others as her own way of enjoyment, something she did either when she was actually bored or even just because she loved the sounds of her victims' agonizing screams and pleas for help.

this was why others tended to stay away from her, why others feared her, because she felt absolutely nothing for those around her. the sounds of their pains gave her pleasure. she was truly a twisted monster and she enjoyed every moment of being just that.

[feyxareum]

“I know something about evil. You’re not evil.“

for as long as areum had roamed this planet, watching as others died off while she continued to live on and not age ( physically that is ), she had heard and seen quite a bit of different things. she had also been called many things as well such as a monster, murderer, sadistic, and many other words that would probably make those with emotions end up shedding some tears and even get hurt by such things, though for her she didn't mind them, in fact she rather enjoyed hearing such words.

this was the sort of image she had set for herself and continued to make it known no matter where she moved around to or even who she met, though to hear someone tell her otherwise, to tell her that she wasn't evil, it made her want to just laugh. she had known kijung for a few hundred years now, she had shown him the worst side of her over and over again, but for him to tell her out of the blue that she wasn't evil was actually amusing to her in a way.

she allows the corner of her mouth to turn up, smirking as she swirls the wine in her glass a few times before taking a sip. even if she were to deny it many times that she didn't have at least some sort of 'soft spot' for him, there was definitely some sort of liking to him that she had. it seemed as if, no matter what she did and no matter what horrible deeds she showed him over the years, he never once actually feared her and it was somewhat interesting to her to see this.

there were very few around her who would even have some sort of courage to speak such words to her, or even still come around her after knowing how much blood was on her hands, but kijung was different.

she sets the wine glass down, humming softly for a short moment, before she finally allows her gaze to meet his. "i don't get you, kijung. many tend to keep their distance from me, even running in the other direction when they see me, but you don't." her tone laced with amusement as she speaks, her head tilting just slightly towards the side as she keeps her eyes locked on him. "would you still claim that i'm not evil even if i were to kill off those that you care about the most? if i made you watch as i give them the most agonizing deaths, would you still believe that about me?"

of course she wouldn't exactly do such a thing, or maybe she would if she had to, but she was curious as to whether or not he would still believe in his own words he had just spoken. was she becoming a bit soft for him after all of these years? she didn't believe so, though she did have to admit that there were times when it was somewhat bearable to have him around, he at least was someone she didn't have thoughts about killing like how she had with most others she had met over the years.

it could be due to the fact that he never really pushed to try and figure her out, he never once really attempted to question her or her actions. there was something she never understood about him, never really knowing why he even bothered to stick around her after all this time, though she never really bothered to question him on this subject either. she didn't really care, figuring that he was really just one of the very few who actually didn't fear her, and it was most likely because of this fact that she even kept him around. she found him interesting in a way that she couldn't really put her finger on quite yet.

maybe she would never understand someone such as him, or even care to, but in the end she had yet to even attempt killing him so that counted for something right? maybe he believed she wasn't evil based off of this one thing or he could have another reason for believing so.

[feyxareum]

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[feyxareum]

feyxkieran​:

{ ... }

“say, areum. are you trying to run away because…” he trailed off for a moment, crossing his arms as he pondered for a moment, before shaking his head with a faint sigh. “forget it. i thought for a moment that you well..” a faint flush coloured his cheeks as he frowned, a hand rising to the back of his head as he puffed a soft breath. “ i thought that you wanted to run because i made you feel something again.” he admitted softly. “but that’s just a pipe dream, even for someone like me.” he raised his brow slightly, a scoff of disbelief at his own thoughts as he shook his head. “ i’m sorry.” he attempted a half smile as he reached for her slightly once again, fingertips brushing her wrist as it came up to touch her cheek momentarily. “i won’t make this harder for you. if that’s what you want.”  a part of him searched her face for any traces of her not wanting him to leave, hopeful, as he chewed on his bottom lip, almost feverish in attempting to find out what lay beyond that seemingly impassive face that she held against him. “ even if a part of me just wants to disregard you and just..stay.” he raises himself away from the wall, clinging to that slight hope as he edged a little closer towards her, bated breath and soft steps, lips lightly parted and brows furrowed with concern. “tell me to stay.” he whispered, thumb gently caressing the side of her cheek as he indulged himself in her scent, and the touch of his skin against hers, no matter how brief. “ or tell me to leave. whatever it is you want. and i’ll make if come true this time.” 

for as long as they had known one another, areum knew quite a bit about kieran, however, today she was finding out that maybe she didn’t know him as well as she thought that she did. the most irritating part about all of that was that he knew her inside and out. he could read her like a book and she hated it. it was possibly due to the fact that he was her sire, that or just because of the history the two shared over the past years. either way it was something she, at the moment, found to be quite annoying with this whole situation.

“i guess you don’t know me as well as you thought you did, kieran. don’t forget, you’ve been away for quite some time. things change, people change, over time whether they want to or not. meanwhile, some tend to become a lot worse over time.” she says this, a small breathy sigh escaping from her dramatically as she looks at him. it was true, she had gotten worse over the past 400 years that he had been away, she had to in order to continue living on after dealing with the fact that he had left with nothing more than a letter. at that time she had told herself she wouldn’t do this anymore, she wouldn’t let him in or even give in to him, that she would keep her walls up even if he were to at some point return. though, at this very moment, it seemed as if she were failing at keeping herself from breaking that one promise she had made to herself long ago.

she watches him closely for a moment, hearing his every word and scoffing slightly. “we’re nothing alike, not even in the slightest.” the words roll off her tongue easily as she gives a small smirk and shakes her head slowly. “though, i do admit we both tend to run away at times, however, you run away when you’re afraid. you run away when you want to without even trying to stick around and face things head on. as for me” she pauses momentarily as she gives a small shrug before continuing. “i actually tackle my problems without any sort of hesitation.” this was partially a lie, especially since she was currently trying her best to run away from him, to get as far away as possible due to the warning signs going off inside of her head at the moment.

when he speaks, areum can’t help but tense up a bit. he did know her well, he had guessed exactly why she was trying to escape from him, though she couldn’t admit that to him. if she admitted to it all, if she were to tell him that he’s correct, then it would surely become a reality then. her walls would come crashing down and all of that hard work she had put into keeping herself guarded would be for nothing. did she want him to stay? one voice inside of her was saying ‘tell him to stay. tell him not to leave you again like he did back then.’ however, there’s another voice telling her to do the opposite, to tell him to leave and that she doesn’t care what happens to him. one voice is her humanity, the other not. she doesn’t bother moving when she feels his fingertips on her skin, doesn’t let it show that with each touch he does, the more those walls start to crumble. she has to stay strong right? though, as she finally musters up enough energy to speak once again, her own words betray her in a way. “do what you want to kieran, don’t you usually do that anyway? go ahead and stay, if that’s what you truly want to do. i can’t stop you right?” she speaks with the little bit of confidence she had been able to muster up in order to even find her own voice again, doing her best to lie to him, or was she trying to lie to herself?

[feyxareum]

feyxkieran​:

{ ... }

his eyes squinted slightly as he grabbed onto her arm once more, whirling her back into his embrace as he pinched her chin, tilting her face upwards as he gaze down into her irises. 

“you’re trying to hide something from me. i can’t put my finger on it, but you’re trying to run from something. and since there’s no one else here, that something–can only be  me.” an off-tinge of mild delight perforated his voice, as his interest piqued once more. 

it’s the hand that wraps around her wrist that makes her realize something, or at least remember something. kieran wouldn’t let her go that easily. he knew her better than anyone else on this earth, even better than she knew herself at times, and that’s why she had to get away from him. it was as if he were somehow reaching deeper and deeper into the depths of her mind, getting closer with each word that he speaks, to that one switch inside of her mind that would ultimately turn her humanity back on. he had that kind of effect on her and that’s what was making him even more dangerous right now to even be around.

“none of it matters anymore. it’s all in the past.” she smirks just slightly as she says this, meeting his gaze. don’t let him see that he has any sort of control over you. don’t let him break you so easily, you’ve been doing so well all of these years. she tells herself this over and over again, trying her best to not let him break past that last barrier she has up. she had worked so hard in order to keep herself from even feeling again, ever since he disappeared 400 years ago, that she couldn’t let everything she had done up until now go to waste. she had to remind herself that she was some sadistic bitch who could care less about anyone or anything.

she gives a small shrug when he mentions the child, looking as if she’s growing tired and bored of this whole thing. “good, then we’ll just act as if we never had a child to begin with. i’ll burn his old clothes tomorrow and we’ll act as if he never existed in this world.” he tone is dry as she speaks, even convincing herself that she doesn’t care even though deep down she secretly does. “i know just how possessive you can be, i’ve dealt with you for over a thousand years. how could i not know this by now? if you’re doing all of this hoping that i’ll break down and give myself to you fully again, well you might as well just save your breath now and give up. or better yet” she pauses to laugh a little, leaning forward enough to whisper into his ear. “just go ahead and kill me right here. that is, if you have the guts to.” her tone, and her words, are challenging him, daring him to end her right there. though she knows that he won’t.

when he pinches her chin, holding her close to him, she quickly averts her gaze elsewhere. she can’t be this close to him, it’s risky. though he isn’t wrong, she is trying to run away from him and that right there just goes to show how well he really knows her. she clears her throat and forces out a small laugh before trying her best to compose herself, daring to look him in the eye again. “of course i’m trying to run from you. i’m bored with this whole conversation and would much rather be doing something, well more fun. something that doesn’t involve being around you.” you’re lying. he’ll catch on sooner than later. you need to run before he ends up breaking your walls down, before you give in and let yourself feel again. it’s too dangerous! the voice in her head continues to speak to her, warning her that she needs to leave soon before it’s too late, though, with the way kieran was, areum knew that it was much easier said than done.

let me go kieran before it’s too late. before i crumble and go back to the way i was long ago. just leave and let me live how i’ve been living all this time. she pleads with him in her mind, knowing that he isn’t able to actually hear her but hoping that even her thoughts will manage to do something, anything, to make him leave her alone.

[feyxareum]

feyxkieran​:

{ ... }

“i took things into my hands tried to stand for what i wanted, and in the end–” he gestured right at her, the remains of their broken relationship widening the chasm between them. “this is what i get.” a tired sigh passed through his lips. “forget it, areum. perhaps i might just do as what you say, and just run away and forget about you for the rest of my entire fucked up life.” 

the fact that he confirms what she’s been told, that everything in the end was due to what had happened between them, is enough to make something inside of her hurt. something that she hadn’t felt for a long, long time and she hates it even more. her nails dig deep into the palms of her hands, piercing the skin there with ease. so what she had been told before hadn’t been entirely a lie, that she should have just gone with her gut feeling at the time she had acquired this information and actually confronted him back then. if she had then maybe things would have- no... it would have all still been the same in the end.

she falters, only for a moment, as she looks at him and listens to his every word. her breathing quickens as the memory of one of the council members approaching her, of him telling her of what had happened that night long ago. how much of it all was a lie and how much was the truth? at this point she wasn’t quite sure anymore, though her own stubbornness really was getting in the way of her just accepting it all and letting it go. she felt as if she wanted to, but couldn’t. not yet at least. areum needed the whole story, the full truth, but why? she didn’t really care right?

“does it matter who gave me this information?” she forces out a small cold laugh as she looks at him. “last time i checked, i didn’t have to actually share such information with you, especially since you weren’t around at the time that i found out about all of this.” her eyebrow raises, head tilts just slightly to the side as she looks at him while shrugging just a bit. “why should i share such information with you when you’re not completely honest with me most of the time?”

it’s his next words though that make her stop, a hint of something else showing on her face for a short moment before she quickly hides it. “so what you’re saying is... my blood was what you were after the whole time?” another cold laugh as her fists loosen. “maybe you should have just killed me then. maybe you should have drained my blood the first chance you had then we wouldn’t have to deal with all of this now.” her expression is now blank as she speaks, though inside that strange feeling returns once again as if something is threatening to come out. she had to get away from him as quick as possible. he was too dangerous for her to be around right now, especially with all of this information she was still trying to process. she had to think of something to get him to let her leave from his presence or else it could all come crumbling down.

what would she say though? what could really set him off to the point where he would leave her be? a smirk graces her lips as she allows herself to meet his gaze. “maybe you should, especially since i’m no longer human and my blood is useless to you now. is that why you also found it so easy to leave 400 years ago? you get bored having me around and run off to find some little human to play with for a while until you get bored with them as well?” she steps closer to him, letting her finger trail down his chest slowly as she speaks in a low tone. “if that’s the case then i’m glad that i had forgotten everything up until today, glad that you never knew of your child. i’m glad that i’m the only one who got to see him grow up into the man he became while you knew absolutely nothing of his existence.”

would he believe her words? she hoped so. if he were to see through the act she was currently putting on she didn’t know what would happen. “like i said earlier, you can stay here for a couple weeks. after that, disappear like you usually do, kieran.” she attempts to push past him, to leave and get as far away from him as possible. she couldn’t risk letting herself feel again. areum didn’t want to be weak and vulnerable like she had back then, not after managing to get this far with her emotions turned off. him returning this time was testing that and it was something she couldn’t afford to do again.

[feyxareum]

feyxkieran​:

{ ... }

he desired her, and that was what he aimed to have, muffling her words with his ravaging lips, the treasured memories he had abandoned, just as she had all those years ago, lacking that trust in his love for her. one last time–he promised himself. 

and then no more.

 i loved you so much. 

“you could have experienced all of that if you had just been honest with me after you turned me, kieran. if you had told me everything, had reminded me of who you were, i could have told you about him back then. what did you do? you kept it a secret this whole time. all these years you kept this information to yourself yet you expected me to just know that his father was you the whole time?” she scoffs at the thought and shakes her head, running her fingers through her hair. “don’t you think that if i had known all of this a lot sooner i would have told you that you were a father to a son? don’t you think that i would have maybe left my emotions on if i had known this?”

every words he speaks hits some part of her, a part of her that she wants to deny still exists. she narrows her eyes as she listens to him, pushing that feeling back down. “i didn’t forget you back then, kieran. there’s no way that i really could forget you, not after everything we went through, though everything was hectic at that time and i was close to dying, in case you forgot.” her tone is cold as she speaks. “if you were in my position back then, bleeding out from being stabbed and having to see your village being burned to the ground after everyone was killed would you have been able to think properly? i was human and thinking more of the pain i was experiencing, thinking of wanting to stay alive, rather than who was around. i didn’t know that paying more attention to who my savior was, was more important than trying to survive.”

she’s about to continue, though as she opens her mouth to speak she’s being shoved to the wall. a small gasp leaves her, eyebrows furrowing at the action. this is what they were over the centuries, the arguing, making up afterwards as if nothing had happened. this time was different though. even as she feels his lips on hers, as he holds her close, instead of giving in and just allowing herself to go back to their old ways, areum restrains herself and instead lets him enjoy this moment. it’s only a short moment for him though.

with the strength she has, areum twists one of her wrists out of his hand and shoves him away roughly, the palm of her hand coming into contact with his cheek as the sound from the hard slap echo's through the empty hall. she uses the back of her hand to wipe her mouth, letting out a cold laughter at the situation. “do you even have the right to be kissing me right now?” her gaze is cold, dark even, as she looks at him.

she had wondered if he would ever come clean about one little detail he failed to confess, one thing she had the privilege of finding out years ago. “you know, i thought that you would at least have some sort of conscious to tell me one thing, the most important thing really.” she steps forward, resting her hands on his shoulders as she leans in and lets her lips graze his ear as she whispers. “when were you going to tell me the real reason behind the attack on my village? that it was because of our relationship back then that my family was killed.” her voice is calm but there’s a hint of danger laced within it as she speaks, leaning back and using one hand to grab a hold of his face and force him to look her in the eye. “i didn’t want to believe it at first, in fact i brushed the information i was given off and told myself over these years that it was nothing more than a story fabricated to make me turn against you, though with what you’ve told me tonight... i’m starting to realize that my source was in fact speaking the truth.”

the corner of her lip curves up into a smirk. “you knew back then that having relations with a human like me would have some consequences yet you kept me around, that it was something forbidden, yet you stuck around. so, who is truly the cruel one here, kieran? you defied all the rules then left me to deal with all of it on my own as if none of it mattered. i guess you’ve been excellent with abandoning me even before i was turned. it’s what you’re best at. showing up when you want to then leaving with your tail between your legs instead of taking things head on and standing up for what you want.” as she speaks, he tightens her grip on his face, nails digging into his skin to the point where she finally glances over to see some blood trailing down his cheek and she can only feel amusement at the sight.

[feyxareum]

feyxkieran​:

{ ... }

“i wouldn’t have left if you told me. i left–because i thought i had to protect you, reason with the elders–” a sharp, maddened laugh barked from his lips. “i was a fool. they must have kept an eye on us for longer than i imagined. and now what?” anger raged in his veins–at areum, at the elder council then, at everything that happened in this world. 

the world was unfair, kieran thought bitterly to himself. it left him with a lover that refused to love him, and a child he would never know and come to love or enjoy. 

“is that what those clothes in the attic were about? is that why you hate me to the point that you refuse to want me anymore?” he questioned, words bitter in his throat as he drew slowly away from her. “oh areum,” a terrible smile, broken and shattered curved the edges of his lips. “you’re so cruel.” 

all of the memories she had once lost, the questions she had wondered long ago, everything was clear to her now. the hazy memories from back then now more clear to her than anything had ever been. she sits there, staring at nothing in particular, not even blinking as she continued to think of everything all at once. how could she have not put all of the pieces together? how was it that all this time, the one man who had been nothing but a blur to her in her mind, she hadn’t realized that he had been by her side this entire time?

she snaps out of her little trance as she hears him speak, listening to the different changes in his tone. areum doesn’t bother speaking, doesn’t even make an attempt to even really cut him off, though once he’s finished speaking and he’s said that last sentence she finally makes some sort of movement. she stands slowly, head snapping towards him as she looks at him in disbelief. “i’m the cruel one? i wanted to tell you back then, i even went looking for you, but when i got there you were gone.” she scoffs. “when i found out i was pregnant, you were the first one i went looking for but you disappeared without a trace.”

she inhales sharply as she runs her fingers through her hair slowly, letting out a small cold laugh. “you thought you had to protect me? that’s funny. by the looks of it, you’re the one who is cruel here. instead of just up and leaving without a word you could have tried to fight, could have at least come to me and said something then you would have found out.” another cold laugh leaves from her as she shakes her head. “instead, you cowered down to the council, you left with your tail between your legs and did what you wanted to do.”

“when i returned home, heartbroken, and told my parents the news of me being pregnant... do you know what they told me?” she looks at him, eyes narrowed as she steps towards him. “they first asked who the father was, asking what he did for a living and if he was planning on taking my hand in marriage...” there’s a long pause as the memory comes rushing back to her, a bitter memory that she wished she hadn’t remembered. “when i told them you had disappeared and knew nothing of the child, they allowed me to give birth to him, however, they also made me give him up to another family.” her tone is now just as cold as her laugh had been, a hint of hatred laced in with it.

“i never told you of the child because, well... i didn’t think it mattered enough to tell you, especially since i’m just now finding out that you were his father.” her gaze shifts from him towards the direction of the attic. “before today i didn’t find it necessary to really tell my sire about a child i once had when i was human, i didn’t think it was really any of your business just because you were the one who created me.” she makes her way around him as she makes her way towards the attic, stopping just below the stairs. “you have no idea how painful it was, going through all of that alone, giving birth to such a beautiful being only to have him taken from you only moments after. having him ripped from your arms and taken away.”

her hands clench as she remembers the moment everything had happened, all of it having happened so fast that she couldn’t do anything at the time but scream out for the child, screaming for them to give him back to her. “if all of this makes me the cruel one here, fine i’ll be the one.” she glances up at the attic door before she continues. “i’m the one who ended up having to also watch as he grew up, how he grew old and eventually took his last breath. i’m the one who had to watch my own child grow old as i stayed the same, as i got to continue living and eventually i was the one who ended up having to bury him when his old age took his life. not you, kieran.”

she turns abruptly to look him in the eye, hatred filling her eyes as she does. “if that makes me cruel then so be it, but at least i fought for what i loved rather than running away and abandoning those i loved the most like some coward. if you hadn’t hidden the fact that we had a past together i would have told you without hesitation.” she makes her way over towards him, stopping only when she’s close enough to whisper into his ear. “and to think, 400 years ago i almost turned my humanity back on just for you.” she then steps away as she throws her head back and laughs. “i was so close to giving everything to you back then, but what did you do? you left, again. it seems that leaving is what you’re best at. isn’t it? when things get too complicated for you, instead of just fighting for what you want, you just disappear without a single word, not thinking about how it will affect those around you.”

maybe now she really was being cruel, though at this point she didn’t care to stop herself. she was boiling with rage, she didn’t know who it was really for but she was and since kieran was there all she could do is take all of that anger she felt out on him.

[feyxareum]

feyxkieran​:

{ ... }

his voice dies in his throat as he watches her clutch her head in agony, the selfish words swallowed back as he stuttered a breath to his immortal lips, a sad smile flickering across his lips as he turned violently away from her, slipping towards the door in a series of frenzied steps–a dash of his sleeve against his eyes. 

there were no tears–he desperately convinced himself, ignoring the wet splatters of what remained upon his sleeve, dotting his pressed suit like a crime he couldn’t erase. 

this was what everyone wants. 

her desperate attempts at keeping herself from allowing everything inside of her go, of keeping herself from believing his words even when she knows he’s telling the truth, they’re all useless in the end as she listens to him speak. she tells herself she can’t break, that she can’t let herself throw away the hard work she had done up until now. she had been doing so well all this time, doing everything in her power to make sure that the walls she had built over the years didn’t come crashing down around her, but here she was unable to even keep them up now. it’s what he says last to her that finally does it for her. as if someone had barely tapped on those walls, they come crumbling down.

all of the feelings she felt back then, even as a human, all of the memories that had been buried so deep to the point where she couldn’t even remember the smallest details about things. it all comes rushing back to her and it feels like her head is splitting. she shakily allows herself to slowly sit down, staring blankly at the empty space in front of her as the warm liquid begins running down her face, something she hasn’t done in so long that she didn’t think she was even capable of producing tears anymore. no, this wasn’t what was supposed to happen. she wasn’t supposed to remember any of this, wasn’t supposed to even be breaking like she was now, though despite her not wanting this all to happen he’s managed to somehow flip the switch in her mind just with a few words.

she thinks back to the time that she had been human, the time she had been happily in love with him as if nothing else mattered at the time. how was it that even after she had been reborn into a vampire she couldn’t even remember that detail about her life? had it been because of the trauma she went through at the time? could it be because he had suddenly disappeared before her village had been attacked and she had given up hope on him? she wasn’t sure, though even as she sits there frozen in place she manages to whisper out one thing without even realizing she’s even doing it. “kieran...” his name leaves her mouth, voice seeming to crack despite her having spoken so low that no one would be able to hear her, that is unless they were a supernatural being such as a vampire or even werewolf.

did this all mean her emotions had returned? or was it just the memories messing with her momentarily and she was still just some heartless being? she had loved him once, long ago, but did she really still feel that way? was she really in denial about how she truly felt towards him or had those feelings just slowly disappeared over time?

areum felt in that moment as if she couldn’t speak, couldn’t even move, as if she were just some sort of statue just sitting there against the wall. she was practically paralyzed as everything seemed to hit her at once like a wrecking ball despite her own body not listening to her brain. what was even wrong with her right now? what happened to the usually over-confident vampire who never let anything bother her?

the millions of questions running through her mind at that moment, the voices inside her head that seemed to be endless. her mind was a mess at this point and the next words that leave her mouth aren’t ones she exactly planned on ever exposing to anyone, not even kieran. “our...child...” her tone this time is just above a whisper, the words she’s saying more to herself rather than to him.

[feyxareum]

feyxkieran​:

{ ... }

“the council caught me with you, areum.” a mocking laugh bubbled from his lips. “and they warned me.” he breathed. “ thankfully those who caught us are gone. the current ones in power have nothing to do with this.”  the words twisted bitterly within his mouth, spat to the ground as though every fibre of himself ached with the pain of each word. “i was warned to never err with you again. and so i kept leaving.” bitterness surged into his words as he turned away abruptly. “ because the curse of a vampire’s memory meant that i remembered what you forgot, and fell for you, again, and again, and again.” dark eyes glittered with vague emotion, held back with every ounce of his own strength.

“ i’m tired , areum. that’s what i am. exhausted.” his fingers lifted unconsciously, grazing the sweet curve of her cheek. “i’m tired of trying to fulfill a task that can’t be fulfilled.” 

she wants to tell him that he’s lying, that everything he’s said up until now is just something he’s made up just to mess with her mind, though the more that he speaks, the more she starts to piece together quite a few things inside her head. her eyebrows furrow as her gaze shifts elsewhere, eyes wavering as one thing in particular stands out to her. if what he was saying was true, if he had been her lover back then, then that meant... the child was his, the one thing she had back then that helped her cope with the loneliness she had felt at the time. the one memory, besides her family, that she still allowed herself to keep after all this time was making more and more sense the more that he spoke.

everything that he had told her since she found him in her home, everything he had hidden from her over all the years, she didn’t know what to feel really. though there was one thing she did know how to feel and that was the only thing she ever felt over the past 400 years. anger.

when she feels his fingers on her cheek, areum is still trying to wrap her own head around everything. her head shakes quickly, hand raising to slap his away before she quickly steps back. “don’t touch me!” why was she so angry? shouldn’t she be at least ‘happy’ now that she found out who the father of the child was? normally, yes. however, the sudden news and realization of it all only fills her with anger to the point where she wants him to just disappear again. it was dangerous for him to even be telling her all of this, to be messing with her head and pushing against the walls she had spent so long building up.

she holds her head in her hands, feeling as if her head is about to explode as memories come rushing back to her. the face that had once been nothing more than a blur to her becoming clearer the more she thought about it. it was him the whole time. kieran, her own sire, was the one she had spent those nights with. he had been her lover who had disappeared back then before she found out she was pregnant. it’s not like she wants to remember, actually she could have continued on without knowing all of this information, though it’s as if something had flipped a small switch in her mind that triggered everything at once.

flashes of nights being held by him, of how the two had first met one another, even the moment where he had returned after her village had been attacked and he had saved her. she screams out, her scream echoing around them as she continues to back away from him, wanting nothing more than to create some distance between them. she only stops when she feels her back hitting the wall, balling her hair up into her fists as she pulls on it and tries to suppress the unwanted memories that she had forgotten all about up until now. “you’re lying, kieran. you’re just trying to mess with my head because of everything i told you.” she says this in an attempt to flip the switch in her mind again, to make herself forget once again.

[feyxareum]

feyxkieran​:

{ ... }

he remembers the pitless eyes of the ancient council back then that had grinned down at him, the hiss of rattling breath against his face and the screeching fury when they realise he loved someone that he shouldn’t. 

love was love. he argued. doesn’t matter if she’s human.

pay for your penace. that was all they had said, eyes dark and lips curved in a downturn. know that what you return to was a consequence of what you deserve. 

she wants to deny it all, wanting to deny that she knows deep down that he might actually be telling the truth. in all the years that they spent together, by now she knows when he’s lying and when he’s telling the truth. by the sound of his voice, the way he moves, she notices the small little details about him and that’s what makes her hate this situation even more. the fact that he’s actually telling the truth. she knows that if she were to just allow herself to turn everything back on, if she were to just give in and remember everything, that she would be able to really confirm all of this information.

areum doesn’t want that though. she doesn’t want to let him win, not this time. she turns her head, looking away from him as she thinks for a moment, a slight smirk appearing as she scoffs lightly. “is that so?” her attention returns to him as she continues on. “even if what you’re saying is true. it doesn’t matter. whatever happened back then is in the past, nothing more than an unwanted memory that means nothing to me.” she glances down at her own wrist as she feels his fingers, eyes narrowing.

in the past she would probably give into even just the slightest touch but now she wasn’t going to waver in the slightest. she wasn’t going to easily give him the satisfaction of being able to make her break, of allowing him to break past the walls that she had worked so hard on building up over the years. yes, he was her sire and he had definitely lived longer than her so there was a slight chance that he had in fact seen her at some point. there’s something about all of this that she just can’t ignore even if she tried her best to, the fact that he’s going into details that make it sound as if he’s speaking the truth.

his next words cause her to narrow her eyes. “what exactly are you talking about? you’re sitting here telling me all of this yet you sound as if you’re trying to drag it along so just spit it out already.” a hint of annoyance can be heard in her voice as she speaks, areum clearly having had enough with these little games he seems to be playing with her. that was something that she absolutely hated the most, people tip-toeing around their own words instead of just saying what they want. maybe it was because that’s how she was, the type who just said whatever was on her mind without holding back, or maybe it was because kieran was her sire and she wanted nothing more right now than to just get far away from him at the moment.

she steps closer towards him, eyebrow raised just slightly as she crosses her arms over her chest and waits for him to speak, waiting for him to just tell her what he’s been hiding this whole time from her. she honestly doesn’t know what she’s expecting to hear, or even wanting to hear, but she decides to wait and figure that all out later.

[feyxareum]

feyxkieran​:

{ ... }

“areum, did it never occur to you that perhaps i left for a valid reason?” anger was a difficult emotion to control, especially when it came to his areum. she picked all of his locks with keys he didn’t know she had, slammed her foot down in the spots that hurt the most, and expected him to never return the favour. “perhaps i deserved it, but perhaps i also left to protect you.” 

she doesn't remember much about her life before being turned and she never really bothered to even care about such things over the years because in the end, it didn't matter to her. the main things that she even remembers from her life back then were her family, her own child and a man that she had apparently fallen in love with. though, really, she doesn't exactly even remember him. she remembers a figure of a man, small little bits of memories of when they were together, though his face is a blur to her. was she even worried about finding out just exactly who the man was? not really. it was so long ago that now she didn't even think about him, just like she didn't think much about what happened back then unless one of her nightmares happen and forces her to remember.

it's when he first speaks that she wants to just laugh in his face, to tell him that he's crazy, but when he mentions a lover she stops herself. her eyebrows furrow and instead she just listens to everything he has to say. had he been watching her the whole time back then? if he had been then why hadn't he stopped the attack on her village? she wants to question him, wants to accuse him of being the reason why her family was killed, though what he says next has her freezing in place.

she watches his hand, eyes narrowing as he continues to speak. her thoughts in her mind are telling her that maybe he's the one, the one who not only turned her but also was possibly- no. she pushes those thoughts down, laughing a bit at her own thoughts. it was ridiculous and definitely something that she shouldn't have even allowed herself to even think about. there was no way that her own sire could be the man from back then, he would have said something. right? though there was still that part of her that begins to wonder how he would know all of this unless he had actually been there himself.

"you speak of all this as if you were there to witness it all." her tone is cold as she speaks, gaze finding his once again. "i don't know what kind of stories you've been thinking of over the past few years, though you really should try your hand at being an author. i'm sure someone out there would just love to hear all of the nonsense you're spewing right now." she inhales slowly before exhaling, running her fingers through her hair. there was still that doubt in her mind though even as she says all of this. that voice in her head that keeps repeating 'what if?', the one she's trying her hardest to ignore right now.

there's a couple words that stand out to her in what he says, causing her to waver just slightly before she finally regains her composure once again. nine months. from the small bits and pieces of her memory that she can sort of recall, something inside of her thinks of her child. the baby that she had, had but her parents had forced her to give away because she wasn't fit to be a mother at the time. her eyes waver a little at the memory.

she doesn't want to give in, doesn't want to allow herself to try and believe what he's saying to her because if she does she'll have to admit that he's right. she scoffs, still unmoving as she averts her gaze elsewhere. "you're trying to say that you left to 'protect' me? that's real funny, kieran." she crosses her arms before returning her gaze to him. "if what you're saying is true, what exactly were you protecting me from? i was never in any sort of danger back then, at least none that i was aware of or even bothered with. so tell me, what is it exactly?" her eyebrow raises as she looks at him, expression showing that she's waiting for whatever sort of excuse will come out of his mouth next.

[feyxareum]

☪ HWAA

feyxkieran​:

{ ... }

“it was a long time ago. i should forget it.” he ends his sentence lamely, tapering off the end with halting words as he released his hold upon her arm. “for what’s worth areum, i’m sorry. i thought i could forget, and yet–twice, i’ve failed.” 

she can already guess that he’s not through with their conversation, especially when she hears her name being called, the sudden hand on her that’s stopping her. it was like this even in the past and she had grown to expect it when they had little arguments. she looks at him, scoffing softly and showing no sign of anger despite the anger she’s feeling inside. she tells herself that he doesn’t even have the right to see this, to see how worked up he’s made her. “what’s wrong? you don’t like how i’m not reacting how you want me to?”

she looks at him with an amused expression, even when his grip on her tightens. using her free hand to run her fingers through her hair as she laughs coldly. she knew what he wanted, knew that he was hoping for some sort of sign showing that she at least cared even a little about him in some way, though she wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. areum wouldn’t allow herself to break just for him, not again.

if he had stayed around back then, if he had just stayed a bit longer, she would have undoubtedly given her all to him. she would have turned her emotions back on and allowed herself to feel once again, though because of his own selfish reason she had prevented herself from even doing that. she had been so close back then and in the end it all went out the window in an instant, starting with that single note he left behind.

it’s when he speaks, when he apologizes that she actually allows herself to really look at him, though her expression stays the same. she’s not giving in no matter how many times he apologizes. even if her were to get on his knees and beg her for forgiveness she wouldn’t accept any of it. he was the reason why she made herself this way, so cold and heartless. the sadistic creature that enjoyed tormenting others, whether it was mentally or physically, the new her that didn’t rely on anyone or even allow herself to trust a single person or creature out there. why should she when trust always ended up causing some sort of hurt in the end?

she doesn’t say a single word, just listening to what he has to say. her eyes narrow though when he mentions the past, mentioning her forgetting him, and her expression changes to one of confusion as her eyebrows furrow. “i think you’ve gone a little crazy over the past four-hundred years, kieran. what do you mean that i forgot you?” she steps forward, a sinister grin appearing on her face as she does. “we’ve known one another for over a thousand years, you’re my sire. there’s not one moment that i don’t remember.” she pauses for a short moment before tilting her head slightly to the side. “so tell me, what is it that i’ve forgotten? because i remember every single bit of our past together from the moment we met after i crawled out of that coffin.”

areum leans forward, her lips grazing his ear as she whispers. “besides, even if i believed in you’re apology, it’s useless now. i’m too far gone at this point and it’s all thanks to you.” she gives a small breathy laugh at her own words as she steps back, yanking her wrist from his grip. “you should have thought about that when you decided to be selfish and leave like you did.”