feelingsaturated - Tumblr blog

[feelingsaturated]

quick update: work's been crazy, but i'll try to get back to everyone re: ims / replies by the week!

[feelingsaturated]

friendships are tenuous.

if she says one wrong thing, breathes the wrong way, the house of cards all comes crumbling down. jaeyi's self-diagnosed with chronic foot-in-mouthitis, because it seems near impossible for her to make any friends as an adult. not that her teenage years were all that much better, but there's something that makes it so much fucking harder to make friends at 21 than 12. whatever happened to just telling someone on the playground that you wanted to be friends?

surface-level acquaintanceships are really all she has these days, and one of them, she finds kneeling in the dirt in the silver line communal gardens. jaeyi plucks mint leaves in exchange for ciders from the vending machines, and they sometimes spend a few minutes sitting on the swing. gyuri tells her about fertilisers and jaeyi nods along without the slightest clue of what she's on about. it's rare that the aeternal's not the one going on and on, which is probably why the budding (ha!) friendship's lasted as long as it has.

tonight, gyuri says the wrong thing.

they're (read: gyuri) gardening, when there's a bang and everything goes dark. jaeyi freezes, eyes darting around like they're looking for answers. the sun's already dipping below the horizon, and if the backup power doesn't kick in soon, they'll be left in darkness. jaeyi knows it's probably something getting caught in the crossfires of an aeternal and supervillain fight, but look, she's terrified of whatever the hell is going bump in the night.

then, a scream that sends shivers down jaeyi's spine. gyuri's alarmed gaze meets her own, and the other woman says the one thing she was hoping she wouldn't.

"for fuck's- yeah." it's half exasperated sigh, half scoff, like jaeyi can't quite believe gyuri actually said it. the mask slips, and jaeyi's too tired to put it back on. "okay, yeah, i did." would it have been worse or better if it was in her head? if gyuri hadn't said it out loud, would it have made it less real? "don't tell me you wanna go check it out, because when i tell you, you'd be the first to die in a horror movie."

"did you hear that?" with ♡, for @contoursilver's gyuri

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14. what are three things you like about yourself?

"I work really, really hard to provide for myself! I pay all my own bills with the money I make. Like, 5am calls for a CF shoot are no joke, you guys. I love that I can do that for myself now. I'm also, like, pretty popular amongst the Aeternals with the younger demographic. Not much buying power unfortunately, but really funny comments under my Instagram. I've got really great legs, because I work really hard at Pilates, and shiny hair, and I've found my to-die-for lip combo."

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when was the last time you cried and why?

"I don't remember, actually. I'm not a big crier, so by that logic, I should be able to recall when I last cried, but I can't even remember what I ate last week." She's not lying--- she's not the type to shed tears easily. The price to pay when you grow up in a family like hers, where any display of emotions equals an output of power. Her mom hates her crying because it just shows that Jaeyi can't control her emotions... which means she can't control her powers. Nursing home speedrun!

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16 / is it easier to make people love you or hate you?

"Oh, love. I feel like hate is so strong, like, when you say hate, it's like you wouldn't even spit on them if they were on fire. Plus there's the whole liking gap thing, right? If someone's neutral on you, all you have to do is treat them nicely. Buy them some stuff you know they'd like, do a couple favours for them. After that, maybe it's not love, but they probably really like you. For hate, though? Even if you smack them in the face, they'd probably just be confused. Pissed, probably, but they wouldn't hate you. Even if your personality really pisses someone off, they'd still save you from a burning building. Probably."

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#7 ╱ do you think you're redeemable?

"This is off the record, right? Like, inadmissible in a court of law?" Oh, Jaeyi. Only ever concerned about how she looks. "If you're talking about the thing that happened when we took down Rogue, it's not my fault, okay? I don't have to be redeemed or whatever for it." It sounds like something she's said to herself over and over. "They didn't evacuate in time, the system didn't go off, it's not something I could've helped. I didn't even know there were people in there. And we gave their families settlement money, so."

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how do you escape your reality?

"I don't have anything I want to escape from. At least I don't think so? Nothing now, anyway. Most things usually work out well for me." Again, a stunning display of how severely one can lack self-awareness. As we all know, she's more than okay abusing her prescription. That's unfortunately no longer an option now, so she's turned to simply not acknowledging anything that doesn't align with the life she's picturing for herself. Some say it's manifestation, but most agree it's just delusion. She doesn't enjoy drinking, so most of the time when she's stressed out, she just takes a nap.

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when was the last time you lost your temper?

"I feel like I'm really good at controlling my temper." Yeah, she's got no self-awareness. While she does manage to not lash out pretty well (considering someone with her temperament), she's also definitely not tolerant. The closest thing would've been last night, when she was arguing with some hate commenter on a forum site on her anonymous account. Yes, she told them to ***.

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20 QUESTIONS TO ASK IN THE DARK

RULES.

this is part of our ongoing EVENT #001: LIGHTS OUT IN PARADISE.

to participate, reblog this post onto the blog(s) of your participating muse(s) and make sure their ask box is open. in the tags, indicate whether you are open to question prompts only, OR question prompts and starter prompts.

if participating, please try to send at least one question prompt to other participating muses!

all event-related posts should be tagged #rj:event001. remember to tag any triggers accordingly!

while the starter prompts were created specifically to foster new threads, feel free to convert any responses to the question prompt list into threads as well.

the starter prompts were written with mostly the event-related locations in mind, but feel free to place them in different settings!.

responses can be posted until the end of the event, sunday, july 7th.

QUESTION PROMPTS

tell me 3 truths and 1 lie, without naming which one is which.

do you wish you had a different ability?

what's your most vivid childhood memory?

when was the last time you lost your temper?

what's the worst thing you've ever done to someone?

if the building were about to burn down, what are the first three things you would grab?

do you think you're redeemable?

what was the moment you realized your life wouldn't go the way you thought it would?

do you think you'll ever make it out of here?

what is the biggest lie you've told?

when was the last time you cried and why?

what's something you used to love but now hate?

if your life paused for a day and you could go anywhere you want and do anything you want, where would you go?

what are three things you like about yourself?

how do you define "home"?

is it easier to make people love you or hate you?

if you could have any other ability, possible or impossible, what would you want?

how do you ask others for help?

in another life, where do you think you would be? what would you be doing?

what (or who) is your silver lining?

describe how your room looks.

what's something no one else knows about you?

do you believe in heroism? in heroes?

how do you escape your reality?

when was the last time you told someone honestly how you felt about them?

STARTER PROMPTS

"it can't get worse than this... right?"

"don't panic, but i think there's something behind you."

"what were you thinking?!"

"did you hear that?"

"i managed to get a candle before they ran out. you want to share?"

"forget this, i'm going to the pool. you want to come?"

"forget this, i'm going out. you want to come?"

"no, you don't get it, you have to help me find [object]."

"my [apartment]/[room] was getting too hot, can i stay here for a while?"

"the scanner won't read my card and i can't get back in, so..."

"do you think they keep the breaker box in the sublevel? i bet i can fix it."

"no way. i'm not going there in the dark."

"come on, we have to see it. when are we ever going to get another chance?"

"i think we're stuck here."

"i didn't know where else to go."

"okay, okay. just stay calm, stay calm, stay calm."

"i'm going out to get food. who knows how long this will last."

"is this a bad time to mention i'm not good with the dark?"

"i heard there's a bonfire at the drive-in."

"it's like these people have never seen the power go out before."

"i want to find out what that explosion was."

"it's less crowded near the river."

"this is kind of nice."

"do you think they'll still serve us our food?"

"why did it have to be you?"

"i knew we shouldn't have come here."

"want some company?"

"hey, you! this building is for residents only!"

[feelingsaturated]

happy opening, everyone! jia (21+, s/h) here, presenting (a)eternal pain in the ass, JEON JAEYI, who’s more concerned about saving (and serving!) face than the people of eden, she's the very worst of aeternals. more under the cut, and if you can stomach her, please like to plot!

tldr of her bg: aeternal + aeternal = 2aeternal. powers r affected by her mood, so instead of being good parents and sending her to cognitive behavioural therapy to figure out wtf sort of mental illness they've given her, they tell her to suck it up. thank u xanax and nepotism for getting her thru the academy!

when people in positions of power and privilege get to do whatever they want with close to no consequences, of course you get bitches like jaeyi! very much inspired by the seven in the boys, she's kinda human garbage. basically a white man in congress.

really honestly only ends up an aeternal because it's good for optics & she's got a cute power. who doesn't love a family of aeternals + someone who drops by a gender reveal and makes sure the skies are clear for whatever confetti pop you wanna do, right? she's not under any delusions she's gonna singlehandedly eradicate all crime in eden. sometimes we just need the pretty bitches for photo ops!

a building of people ends up collateral damage, and it's covered up well enough. jaeyi blames the late evacuation notice, but the damage is done. she's not losing much sleep over it, because their families get their bereavement payout. unfortunately for her, her psychiatric clinic was in that building, and no other sane doctor would be on board with her medication regimen. the next doctor she sees ends up changing her meds and suggesting she go to therapy.

unfortunately, rawdogging mental health is nawt it for someone whose emotions affect her power. she ends up doing too much/little at the worst times, and decides to take a little step back. not a proper hiatus, but she's not being assigned to missions (not like she was doing much of those anyw...) and focusing on her little brand deals, which is where 2cc comes in! no better way to put her money where her mouth is than to actually live in silver line, right?

comes off really fucking artificial cause. well. she fuckin is! look at her for a second too long and she's whipping out a headshot like 'do u want a photo or an autograph????' something uncanny and fake as hell about that smile she's giving...

not j-lo levels of 'don't look me in the eye', but she's also actively avoiding having to interact with other tenants unless it's good for her public image. she's got nothin in common with anyone, and she doesn't want to have to smile and make small talk anymore than is necessary.

currently being sued for the building damage thing, but it's being taken care of by the task force. like can we pleaseeeeee move on omg they're already dead. wtf's she supposed to do about it...??? she can't raise the dead. they're barking up the wrong tree.

as evidenced by the above, yeah. has basically never had to deal with the consequences of her actions, and the kind of person who can't even fathom why SHE shouldn't be top priority. you can tell she's grown up privileged which makes her extremely removed from others' realities.

mommy and daddy issues mean she's always in need of external validation because she's absolutely unable to be kind to and regulate herself... inner child screaming crying wailing etc etc. positive attention only, plz!!!! she can only like herself if others like her, but that's real tough considering.... would lie if she feels left out and wants to fit in.

anyways!!! i'm much more into seeing how our muses would mesh personality-wise and coming up with a dynamic organically, so let's just get yapping about our charas!

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“If I’m anything, I’m violence.”

— Alejandra Pizarnik, from Uncollected Poems (1962-1972); “Of Silence”

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