fcrgedinpain

[fcrgedinpain]

Please tell me anonymously or not why you follow me. I could use some positive messages

[fcrgedinpain]

[[   crawling  off  to  sleep  land  -  but  honestly  it's  felt  so  good  being  back  doing  what  I  enjoy,  maybe  send  some  asks  while  i'm  away  ??   you  know  you  want  to   ]]

[fcrgedinpain]

NIPPLES

[fcrgedinpain]

"I wish you actually understood me." (Stefan)

stefan  didn't  know  what  words  to  speak  in  response  to  her  automatically  -  his  brows  furrowing  just  a  little  as  he  tried  to  ponder  the  meaning.  perhaps  he  would  have  cast  it  aside,  when  his  mind  was  rooted  into  nothing  but  SPITE  for  her  and  not  wishing  for  there  to  be  any  understanding  between  them,  but  he'd  been  open  with  himself  on  that  fact,  on  trying  to  bury  things  deeply  within  himself  so  he  could  PRETEND  it  didn't  exist. so  instead  he  reached  out  to  her,  claimed  a  hand  securely  in  her  own  to  draw  their  eyes  to  meet.  ❛   help  me  understand,   ❜   he  replied  finally,  his  eyes  wanting  to  reach  out  to  her  more  than  his  words.  he  wanted  to  understand  her,  he  was  there,  he  was  WILLING  to  and  gently  his  thumb  brushed  against  the  back  of  her  hand.   ❛   i'm  here.   ❜

[fcrgedinpain]

"I don't want to hurt anymore..." (Damon)

there  was  a  question  in  damon's  mind  of  how  genuine  katherine  was  being  in  that  moment,  was  this  some  way  to  try  to  pull  at  his  heartstrings,  have  him  want  to  help  her  like  some  damsel  in  distress  ??   no.  this  was  katherine  he  was  talking  about  -  and  if  there  was  one  thing  he  didn't  see  her  as,  is  exactly  that,  she  wasn't  a  damsel,  it  didn't  take  him  long  to  figure  that  one  out.  yet  still  his  hardened  features  WEAKENED  to  her  plight,  made  the  move  toward  her  before  catching  himself  before  he  went  too  far. ❛   is  this  real  ??   ❜   he  questioned  as  more  of  a  whisper,  wishing  he  didn't  have  to,  yet  he  was  the  one  that  seemed  to  fall  for  everything  katherine  did  and  said,  while  stefan  seemed  unaffected,  stable  to  it  all.  damon  didn't  want  to  come  out  of  this  the  fool,  and  despite  the  call  of  his  HEART  to  go  to  her,  he  rooted  his  feet  to  the  spot  and  took  himself  no  further.  he  wanted  to  draw  her  into  him,  wanted  to  hold  her  tightly  as  if  it  would  somehow  EASE  it  all,  but  he  couldn't  do  it,  couldn't  take  another  risk,  not  again  and  once  again  the  softness  disappeared  from  his  gaze  leaving  them  as  cold  as  the  colour  in  them. ❛   i'm  not  falling  for  it  again.   ❜

[fcrgedinpain]

stefan  was  an  overthinker  -  something  they  seemed  to  share  before  words  even  left  their  lips,  and  as  days  went  on,  as  their  conversations  got  deeper  he  moved  himself  in  a  little  closer.  the  block  he'd  put  on  things  with  katherine  was  slipping  open  like  a  door  to  something  unknown,  DREAMS  came  a  little  lighter  with  a  gift  of  her  face  present  yet  not  with  the  HATRED  he'd  tried  to  pour  into  every  utterance  of  even  her  name,  it  was  even  something  he  looked  forward  to.

he  was  far  from  IGNORANT  when  it  came  to  the  blossoming  of  the  feelings  lurching  his  heart,  drawing  him  ever  nearer  to  closing  all  gaps  between  them.  where  the  simple  thought  of  holding  her  to  him  left  a  smile  on  his  lips  that  he  even  tried  to  hide  from  himself  from  the  start  -  because  where  did  he  go  from  that  ??   it  was  complicated.   they  were  complicated. silence  had  fallen  on  him  as  they  found  themselves  in  yet  another  motel,  and  as  usual  there  was  no  qualms  from  katherine  at  leaving  him  to  his  thoughts,  yet  the  burning  question  on  his  mind  had  been  how  ??   how  did  he  show  her   ??   how  did  he  approach  a  touch  that  had  been  used  against  her  as  a  way  of  wordlessly  opening  his  heart  that  he'd  tried  to  force  shut  to  her.  it  had  to  be  PERFECT  so  he  thought,  had  to  be  meaningful,  had  to  be  planned. the  night  air  called  for  him,  walking  himself  to  the  door,  though  as  he  opened  it,  he  shut  it  swiftly  after,  letting  his  eyes  dance  toward  the  door  that  separated  them. perhaps  it  was  LUCK,  chance,  or  something  completely  ordinary  that  had  the  barrier  between  them  opened,  that  his  eyes  fell  to  her  and  his  HEART  urged  him  forward.  that  the  feelings  blinded  him  to  the  point  where  it  had  to  be  now,  that  in  no  time  his  lips  were  where  they  had  always  been  meant  to  be,  pressed  to  her  own  before  further  words  could  pass. the  single  act,  the  knocking  down  of  everything  he'd  tried  to  put  in  the  way  of  the  feelings  of  the  past  had  him  truly  FEEL,  had  him  expressing  a  love  that  no  one  else  could  make  him.  there  was  only  her  -  in  his  heart  it  was  true,  he  loved  her  and  only  her,  and  this  was  what  LOVE  was  suppose  to  feel  like.

❗❗❗ - from Stefan

Send " ❗❗❗ " for your muse to suddenly and unexpectedly kiss mine.

They had just settled in for the night. Another long road trip. At least this car was comfortable since she'd had to switch them out. She does that every so often. Remember shes a pro at running.

Stefan wasn't and she could tell the constant long car rides were getting to him. Katherine had decided to cut the time she would usually travel in one shot in half. For him. So he could stretch his legs, take a walk. Even leave for a little bit if he wanted time alone.

Katherine had thought she heard him leave while she was in the bathroom turning the deep tub to fill with hot water. He could walk, she could soak. They both could think to much and process the talks they'd been having....

Noticing she forgot her phone, Katherine opened the bathroom door back up and went to her bag to grab her charger too.

Before she knew it she felt a little gust of wind and then suddenly-

"Stefan? I thought you-"

Before she knew it he was pulling her into a kiss. It was almost cause for a panic, she didnt have any time to process what had just happened... but unlike everyone else. Even if almost every time before when he kissed her it was part of a trap- she let herself fall into it. Honestly whatever was about to happen was worth it. So even as the scars on her heart waited to feel a dagger or a vervain dart- Katherine kissed him back. Deeply.

It wasn't till a few seconds in that she noticed there was no other shoe to drop. He wasn't setting her up. He was kissing her. HE was kissing HER.

Any reservations she had disappeared and Katherine melted into it completely. You could say that she gave herself over to him completely, but that wouldn't be right. She always belonged to him, she had given herself over a very long time ago... she was simply sinking into the arms she had always belonged to.

Pouring every ounce of love she had for him into the kiss. Every movement begging him to understand the greatest truth she ever had to offer him was ' I love you. '

[fcrgedinpain]

Your threads with malka-lisitsa give me everything I think I needed out of Vampire Diaries muses I just wait around for the next replies on my feed

[[   what  can  i  say  -  we're  just  two  folks  out  here  sharing  with  the  world  our  greatness  and  just  how  good  these  muses  are  !   but  also  same  because  i  have  the  best  time  writing  them,  and  then  reading  all  the  amazing  replies  i  get  in  return   ]]

[fcrgedinpain]

MISC SENTENCE STARTERS WITH A DASH OF ANGST

❝ i can't even say he deceived me. i knew exactly what he was and i jumped in anyway. ❞

❝ i think eventually i got so used to the chaos and the pain and the toxicity i began to look for it. ❞

❝ i never got a chance to discover myself. i never had that privilege. ❞

❝ you can tell me anything. i mean i can't promise i'm good at keeping secrets, but i'm a hell of a listener. ❞

❝ no one wants to yearn anymore. ❞

❝ i'm doing some of my best work here and you don't even have the decency to roll your eyes at me. honestly it's hurtful. ❞

❝ i know what you're thinking. ❞

❝ if i ask for your help are you gonna make a big deal out of it? ❞

❝ can we just be normal for like two seconds for once. ❞

❝ i would say i don't know what's wrong with you but i actually do and that's the problem. ❞

❝ against my better judgement i trust you and i think that says a lot about the state of the world right now. ❞

❝ i don't actually care but i'm bored so i'm here. ❞

❝ last time i listened to you we almost died. ❞

❝ i would've come sooner. i would've been here if you'd only asked. ❞

❝ i don't want to hurt anymore. ❞

❝ you don't have to hurt anymore. you can let go of those burdens. ❞

❝ it'd be a lot easier if i actually cared as little as i pretend to. ❞

❝ i do need you. i wouldn't be here if i didn't. ❞

❝ sometimes you don't know it's wrong until it's too late. sometimes you don't know you're being hurt until you realize you're in pieces. ❞

❝ pretending you don't need people doesn't make you strong it just makes you a jackass. ❞

❝ you're gonna be okay. eventually. but first you gotta not be okay for a while. it's gotta suck so you can actually recognize when you're alright again. ❞

❝ you shouldn't have said that. ❞

❝ sometimes i wish they had done something worse. then it'd justify how hard it's been to get over it. ❞

❝ i wish you actually understood me. ❞

[fcrgedinpain]

Katherine & Stefan in 1864 Requested by @senademirxl

[fcrgedinpain]

his  mind  swam  with  a  million  different  thoughts,  trying  to  circle  them  all,  round  them  up  in  some  way  that  made  sense  but  it  didn't  seem  to  -  he  wanted  to  be  a  BETTER  kind  of  good,  some  unobtainable  version  of  himself  because  the  alternate  was  the  thing  that  was  despised.  a  monster  or  some  false  goodness  that  he'd  created  for  himself  to  be,  a  box  to  try  to  form  himself  to  fit  into  yet  fell  out  of  with  the  smallest  cause.  it  caused  stefan  to  massage  his  temples  lightly,  wanting  there  to  be  some  SILENCE  in  the  endless  stream  of  it  all.

the  sound  of  bed  was  almost  like  a  relief,  cut  through  the  NOISE  of  his  own  inner  workings  and  brought  him  back  into  the  moment,  following  where  katherine's  eyes  had  been  to  the  sign  indicating  the  turn  off  that  would  bring  them  to  a  place  for  the  night.  he  could  practically  hear  his  brother  now,  the  idea  of  katherine  and  he  spending  the  night  somewhere  in  some  motel  off  some  road  -  why  did  it  matter  what  damon  thought  ?? when  the  car  finally  came  to  a  stop  there  was  some  relief,  lowering  his  feet  back  down  to  solid  ground  with  the  fresh  air  hitting  his  face,  making  the  exhaustion  in  his  eyes  all  the  more  apparent,  forced  to  blink  away  the  BURN  he  felt  there  before  he  turned  to  face  katherine. ❛   what  girl  do  you  think  i  wish  you  were  ??   ❜   he  asked,  as  if  the  words  had  only  just  registered  in  his  mind,  it  wasn't  the  case  -  he  listened,  only  let  it  brew  amongst  everything  else.

Well that wasn't something she expected to hear... but it felt really nice to hear that she was the savior he thought of when he needed the big guns just to make it through the darkest night of his life. The apologies didn't hurt either. Truth be told she had tried to help him so many times, and she DID every time they needed her but it never seemed to open the door for him to listen...

It really did take Elena picking Damon for his ears to suddenly work... or maybe it was less that it took that for him to listen to her.. and more that the event had finally pushed him to listen to his real feelings. His feelings for Katherine.

Silence once again befell the car as she drove and he rested. There was a lot going on in her head and it was hard to pick one thing to address...

Finally she sorted to the one she felt was most important he hear.

"Stefan, you have always been good. Your condition is just that... a condition. It doesn't define you unless you let it, what matters is who you CHOOSE to be." She glanced over at him.

"And you have always been the selfless type. You put everyone before yourself because you always have and you don't know how not to."

She chewed her lip a little before she continued.

"Sometimes I wish I could be more like you. More like the girl you wish that I was... I learned a long time ago I can't afford to do things that are risky. It gets people I care about killed, and it could get me killed.... Much like you, I've been running so long I don't know how to stop... the same affliction in different flavours.."

Katherine let out a long sigh and let it fall silent again. Her eyes spotted an exit sign indicating there were motels off the next one.

"Let's get a bed for the night Stefan... you look exhausted."

[fcrgedinpain]

❛   -  you're  good,  like  nice,  sparkly,  perfect  and  good,  and  me  well,  i'm  me,  you  can  do  a  whole  lot  better  and  maybe  you  should,   ❜   he  mustered  as  his  reply,  a  refusal  to  look  at  eddie  as  he  wiped  his  bruised  knuckles  on  his  jeans,  palming  for  his  lighter  to  drain  the  LIFE  out  of  the  cigarette  that  hung  from  his  lips.   ❛   don't  worry  about  it,  you  didn't  do  anything  -  you  tend  to  overthink  and  yeah,  you  shouldn't.   ❜

"I  have  to  go."

“Do I at least get a why..?” The words felt stuck in Eddie’s throat, his expression falling from its prior happiness to give way to defeat and confusion instead. Was Billy just tired of it all finally? Surely there was some other reason… There had to be. Something he wasn’t seeing. Swallowing down a lump he could feel forming in his throat, Eddie found the will to speak again.

“I mean- I know you don’t owe me anything. But I thought- I thought we were happy?”

[fcrgedinpain]

going  off  for  a  few  hours,  but  send  in  some  asks  and  junk  for  my  return  yes??

[fcrgedinpain]

Stefan do you eat ducks

❛    i   make   a   pretty   decent   duck   ragu   if   that's   what   you   mean.    ❜

[fcrgedinpain]

Dont do it Stefan or the dick shaped ducks will get you

[fcrgedinpain]

Stefan, 500 duck shaped dicks or 500 dick shaped ducks

debating  if  he  should  just  turn  off  his  humanity  right  now

[fcrgedinpain]

Kind reminder to stop writing your muses so wonderfully I need some talent over here too share with the class

[fcrgedinpain]

truly  -  he  didn't  know  when  to  shut  up.  but  it  didn't  stop  stefan's  hunger  from  gnawing  away  at  his  INSIDES,  his  every  instinct  telling  him  to  rip  into  his  neck  and  drain  him  dry  to  CURE  the  feeling  and  make  it  less  prominent.  it  wouldn't  work,  but  it  didn't  matter,  he  NEEDED  it.  ignoring  the  never  ending  litany  of  words  his  fangs  broke  through  his  skin  with  ease,  filling  his  mouth  with  exactly  what  he'd  been  craving.

❝ Well, maybe you should be into that kind of sucking right now, it might me you less rippery. Normally I would be lets get you a Snickers, but I think we are WAY past that stage.❞ Despite the words falling from his mouth, he really thought his heart would burst from his chest, that feeling only growing as he noticed the dark veins. What did someone say to him nice? A ripper never stops. ❝ NOPE, sorry, NO free SAMLES for you. access DENIED, you DIDN'T renew your COSTCO card and we are strict as fuck with the rules. try again NEXT time.❞