fatbutnotproud - Tumblr blog

[fatbutnotproud]

[fatbutnotproud]

slipped and told my mentor abt my "food issues" next to my friend ARF... I shouldn't have done that but I'm terrible at keeping my mouth shut... I'll just have to eat a little while and lie until they forget about it all and I'll just do all this in the background....

[fatbutnotproud]

can y’all reblog this if you aren’t diagnosed but suffer w an ED? I feel like the only one sometimes

[fatbutnotproud]

"b-but if u starve urself u will lose ur period n ur boobs n u wont be able to have kids!!! D:" uh yeah thats like the whole point

[fatbutnotproud]

LOOK AT THEIR CHEST DISAPPEAR.

LOOK AT THEIR CHEST DISAPPEAR!!!!!

[fatbutnotproud]

Might fuck around and fast

[fatbutnotproud]

Oml my principal just went up to me and asked me why I wasn’t eating lunch and I said I don’t like the school lunch and that I usually eat at home and he said “okay just don’t do the anorexia” and I was literally looking at thinspo while talking to him

I don’t know you shouldnt “do the anorexia.”

[fatbutnotproud]

tag urself <3 part 2

[fatbutnotproud]

FDiary

managed to keep my kcal intake under 500 kcal while counting kcals for the first time!! I only counted carbs before this.

Here's what I ate:

// Skipped Breakfast

Lunch:

Thin corn ricecakes - 5 pieces (18 gram) 66,2 kcal

Carrots - 3 of them - 6,2 kcal

cooked egg - 1 of those - 69,5 kcal

total of kcals: 141,9 kcal

Dinner:

Salted Ricecakes - 2x - 22,7 kcal

with chicken - curry salad on it which is 142,5 kcal (wont do this again) and one with yorkham (10,4 kcal) and one with chicken (24,0 kcal).

total: 199,6 kcal

"snacks":

Monster Ultra Fiesta Mango - 1 can - 7,5 kcal

Carrots - 3x - 18,6 kcal

Milk Chocolate Digestives - 1x - 35,6 kcal (big fucking mistake)

Pickwick Camomile Honey Tea - 23,8 kcal (I wonder if this is true bc im p sure its 0 kcal?)

Sweeteners - 3x - 0,1 kcal

Flowerhoney - 1 teaspoon - 60,4 kcal (jesus christ)

total: 145,9 kcal

COMPLETE TOTAL: 487,5 KCAL

i also purged the original dinner and walked for quite a while which took off at least 250+ kcals so its not perfect but yeah

[fatbutnotproud]

i want to seriously change my appearance, to the point where i look shocking and unrecognizable.

[fatbutnotproud]

Pretty much...

[fatbutnotproud]

[fatbutnotproud]

im so fucking stressed out rn ive been wanting 2 purge bc dinner was way too much kcals but im afraid the golden 30 mins have passed already and also I had to take my meds before dinner (I accidentally forgot to take them an hour before dinner) so if I purge I might lose the effect of my meds,, fuuuuuuck also this dude had cleaning duty at the toilets RIGHT AFTER DINNER LIKE?????? HELLO? IM RIGHT HERE. anyway i think ill just purge anyway bc i do NOT want this gross ass food in my body for any longer

[fatbutnotproud]

me coming straight to tumblr to update my cw after loosing 1 pound

[fatbutnotproud]

Reminder for myself:

Sweets are disgusting. They may taste great at first but you know the aftertaste makes you as sick as the shit in them.

Chocolate makes you sick. Even a tiny piece has you laid in bed feeling nauseous. Stop eating sugar coated calories.

Cheese sticks in your throat. Just like it does your arteries.

Biscuits are dry and unsatisfying. Why even bother wasting the empty calories on that?

Milk is just cow pus. Why would you even want to drink that?

Sleeping in and laying around all day makes you feel like shit. How are you supposed to be productive or burn calories when you’re sat on your arse?

However

Tea boosts your metabolism. And it calms you down.

Fresh vegetables and fruits taste great. They don’t make you sick and they’re far more satisfying and clean than junk.

Oats are your friend. They’re super filling whilst not being filled with artificial crap that will kill you from the inside out.

Water tastes better than the artificial aftertaste of soft drinks. And it won’t cost you a fortune or make you feel sick

Waking up early makes you feel great. And the earlier you’re up, the sooner and longer you burn calories for.

Moving about makes you feel better. You’re more productive. You actually get shit done

(please don’t take these things to heart. This is for me and nobody else. If you’re struggling get help. If you’re looking through these tags with no eating disorder looking for “motivation” or “inspiration” leave and talk to somebody).

[fatbutnotproud]

I got food that is OK to eat calorie wise and I'm so fucking excited lol. lets hope my pal ARF doesn't fuck it up ♡

It's mostly just carrots, ricecakes (but made out of corn which has way less kcals and salt and tbh its yummier) and sweet pointed peppers.

for drinks i got the following:

0kcal watermelon water & 6 cans of monster ♡♡♡ the watermelon water I need to get used to, but it's better than drinking regular water and it's zero EVERYTHING.

for the Monster I made a mistake in "treating" myself and buying 1 mango ultra fiesta which had more calories than the ultra white. :/ should've looked at the kcals while at the store but I was way too distracted in there

I also got a kitchen scale to weigh my food <3

while at the store for the scale one of my caretakers (who was off duty at the time) was also at the store and she saw me with the scale but she thought i bought the scale for baking. I lied and said yeah its for baking!! but she then asked a second time like "its for baking... right?" doubting me and i was silent for too long and im p sure i fucked up bc they know i struggle with weight issues n food n shit so she might be onto me :/

~~~ anyway ~~~

now hoping I get a huawei scale for myself to connect to my huawei watch n stuff and get that daily weighting going cuz I NEED to see my weight going down. that once a month weighting moment isn't enough.

[fatbutnotproud]

stay safe 🤍