fangsofwhite

[fangsofwhite]

Prepping for fours years of suck and getting stress sick from it on top of normal sick, so stepping away from the gloom and focusing on the good in the world.

So behold!

My 'eepy old man got an upgrade to his day bed with some spooky after sales pillow and a new friend... also yes, that is a Christmas plush, it is his favorite head rest regardless of my attempts to have spooky season be all season.

He has a second Christmas mug plush for his night bed.

Yes that is how he expects to be tucked in every night.

No, he is not spoiled, just excessively loved.

Also this stupid little skelly duck I got is adorable. I am so going to give it a make-over and I'm debating naming it Darkwing or Bone-ifacious

[fangsofwhite]

[fangsofwhite]

Was clearing some files and had to share this.

So upgrading some software/hardware a while back and needed to do some stress testing on my system.

Perfect excuse to create a 100+ layer scribble portrait of my son in all his glory with EVERY effect/brush!

[fangsofwhite]

I've hardly done anything but survive this year, but just as things were finally settling, the past month has just hit me again.

Been sick as a dog, practically just going in an out of medicated sleep and hacking up my lungs, only to FINALLY get over a nasty bug and be alive for a few days before I start the next month with a NEW aliment.

Gods be damned I'm tired of being sick all the time!

What's worse, this makes no sense!! I can't eat anything bland or normal sick day foods. Only thing I can keep down and eases my stomach is spicy curry! WHY!?!

Anyways, just saying I'm still alive. Will EVENTUALLY get to a point I can post actual art again soon.

Also if y'all in the US, get your stank butt out there and vote!

If my sick dumb ass can have spent my one real healthy day to wait in hours to early vote, then y'all procrastinators can go stand in line and hopefully not screw us up more. Hopefully.

[fangsofwhite]

[fangsofwhite]

I find this both incredibly frustrating and hilarious every time, but an interesting issue I have discovered is that on occasion, for some reason more often on this site then others, I will randomly face a personal phobia.

Basically, some of y'all have OCs or avatars featuring an animal that apparently elitists a violent fear response from me and it usually results in me chucking my phone across the room. In fact several people I have chosen to follow, absolute bombastic artists, have OCs of this animal. Like I can't avoid this animal on here but also I choose not to because darn it I ain't letting my fears get in the way of great art!

I have no idea why I have this reaction. I have no memory of encountering this animal or any experience in my youth that would leave such a deep set response. All there is to it is that if I see this animal, my instinct is to run or get it as far away from me as possible. Especially if I'm not expecting an encounter. Like if I want to look at a page I know I will see it, I can kind of suppress it enough to be able to scroll past the more obvious stuff featuring this animal to look at other things, but if I ain't expecting it and an image of this animal pops up then it's safe to expect my phone to be chucked across the universe.

This has become such a regular occurrence whenever I just try to scroll on here, like I'm sure eventually I will start to get over it just due to exposure. It's also just weirdly fascinating because I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M LIKE THIS! Like this is not a dangerous animal. In real life a dust bunny is far more of a threat to me then it. I just... why!?

Anyways my phone has experienced sudden velocity flight more times then I want to admit due to this but somehow has yet to break so... meh, I can live like this.

[fangsofwhite]

Ok so to start off, I am OK!

I have defiantly angered an eldritch god or two and am now suffering their wrath, so far getting floods, fire, plagues, and illness.

To start, this past week I got caught in a very random flash flood. I'M OK! I was driving home and turned around before it got too bad, but ended up staying at relatives a couple days due to the weather.

The the heat wave hit. So I went from drowning in rain to drowning in sweat. I have a decent AC but even so it's struggling to keep things tolerable. This has been extra impacting me as I'm in the middle of packing up and may or may not have had to stop whole days due to heat stroke. Again, I am OK!

Along with the moving though, I am technically still looking for a new place. I have a temporary place to stay with relatives once my lease ends this month, but... the new home situation has run into an unexpected issue. I'm looking to move out to my home state for better job opportunities and health, but.... apparently there is a bit of a pest issue going on there. The main apartments I was considering just had a roach outbreak, which seems to be plaguing most of the apartments in the area I am looking to move. So yeah, new home search is... not going great. Time crunch is getting tight so I may have to take a very big risk.

In Doggo news he is... alive? Tests have confirmed he has kidney disease so starting him on meds for that. He doesn't seem to be having any pain outside of his normal joint issues and melting from the heat. He is not enjoying the moving process but he is being such a champ dealing with it all. Otherwise he seems to have recovered from that bad tummy problems now, though he is still a stubborn little fool that doesn't want to eat food unless it's the right food which I never know what that is. Don't worry though, I'm not giving up on making this skinny old man a fat old man just once in his little life.

Anyways, life is just overwhelming me suddenly again and if anyone has suggestions for how to please the DELIGHTFUL gods that have apparently picked me to be their personal Sim to torture, by all means let me know.

[fangsofwhite]

Taking today off from all the stress and drama and moving today because DOGGO TURNED 16!!

Seriously I can not stress how much of a miracle this is. When he was 12 he was diagnosed with heart issues and it wasn't just "Oh he has this issue we better start treating" it was "Oh it looks like he might die tomorrow". We're talking enlarged heart, fluid in lungs, the whole nine yards. The best any vet could give us was maybe 2 months max.

Four years later and he has hit the big 16!!

I can't say what has made the difference. Our vets have been amazing and honestly all my focus has just been doing all I can to just make sure he is comfortable and happy. I don't know if it was the diet change, or the changes in his schedule or lifestyle or maybe it was all of it or nothing.

Either way, I'm incredibly happy for each day I've still had him.

[fangsofwhite]

Seriously I do not know what eldritch gods I pissed off but they need to stop.

So yeah, surprising no one, as soon as things start to look like they are settling, more expletives hit the fan.

On the good news to start, my doggo is ok. Or as ok can be expected. Had a bit of a scare this past week with him suddenly developing stomach problems but it just seems that he ate something too fatty and is already recovering. He is also downing about near 6 pills every 12 hours to GET him ok, but he is ok. A LOT of my focus is on him right now because he is also down 3 lbs from the baseline 20lbs he needs to be and getting a picky dog who can not eat anything super rich or fatty to gain weight is literal sisyphious hell, but hey he is alive so lets endure.

Doggo will also be turning 16 in a couple weeks, officially marking him pushing 4 years past the given life expectancy he is was given due to his heart condition. So yeah will be taking at least some days off from the world to celebrate because he deserves it.

THEN MY PERSONAL HELL CONTINUES.

Apartment ceiling leak has gotten worse. Not back to ceiling literally falling down again worse, but its becoming a concern. Property managers finally sat owner down about getting it addressed and long story short, I'm getting a touch shafted. Basically owner can not afford the repairs so had decided to just sell the property as is. New owners will likely mean new rent and if they actually fix the roof or not is really not a given. At this point if I stay I am basically agreeing to the risk of the ceiling issue and thus taking on the liability for any mold, or collapse that may eventually happen. Like yes they would fix the ceiling if it falls again, but they can argue I took the risk so any injury or damage to my property that happens now is on me. Doggo also likes to sleep RIGHT where the leak happens too so the risk is high for him.

Property managers have agreed to let me out of the lease without penalty, which is a fair compromise honestly. This just means that once again I have to pack up and move. In truth, I am heavily considering a very large move. Honestly despite battling my health issues to at least try to take on occasional commissions, I have also been attempting to get at least a part time job to help with things and... I'll be honest, where I'm at now is just dying. I've seen more businesses close just this past month then I've seen hiring.

So yeah, I have to move anyways so heavily considering packing up and moving to another state where their MIGHT be better job opportunities. Maybe also better weather to help with my health.

I don't know, either way I have to pack up and move.

Life... just... UGH! I thought I was finally getting a break.

[fangsofwhite]

I'm working on decorating a new creative workspace for myself so I can finally truly get back into my art and first project I have for the space is a new cork board.

Of course, I can't just have a plane cork board so I'm painting it with all these little designs to help inspire me when I'm working on other things.

I'm posting the whole process on my Patreon and will eventually post the finished results, but I figured the good people of tumblr here might appreciate a sneak peak.

Yes the design needed turtles, yes this is inspired by a certain cartoon I am obsessed over.

[fangsofwhite]

Y'all I know I haven't posted much here since I got myself set up, life and illness has been kicking my behind majorly these past few months, but I've still been happily lurking on this site and I have to say...

I know no place is perfect, but so far the communities I've found here are the most gosh darn welcoming, hilarious, and generally wholesome I've found online in years.

Like genuinely this has been one of the most positive places I've experienced online in so many years, not just with the community itself but with the site's handling. For example I didn't know how much I needed to witness people loosing their minds over digital cat paw boops until April 1st, but by the stars it was a welcomed distraction from taxes and adulting.

Seriously though, I think I'd forgotten that sometimes places online can just be this happy and chill.

I know eventually I will run into the not so great side of things that everything has, but darn it Imma relish this happy zen I've found here for as long as I can.

[fangsofwhite]

So ceiling has finally been fixed (enough) and my health has semi improved. Starting to gradually get back into the swing of things JUST IN TIME for my doggo's yearly trim... This is only slightly exaggerated.

As to doggo, he is still chugging along. Not done with his trim, usually takes a few days to fully trim him because its a big ordeal for the old man. Otherwise he is being his normal vexing little mop.

Yes I cook all his meals. No I don't actually want him fat, but the idiot has been a picky eater since puppy hood and I swear I can just not get this dog to stuff his face enough.

[fangsofwhite]

So things have been... happening.

I go into more detail on my situation on my Patreon

To summarize though, over all health all around is going better. Not great, but better. My own health is stabilizing enough that I'm not being knocked on my butt every week by a new virus. I am at least able to somewhat function again. My family who contracted covid is recovered and has started doing more to protect and manage spreading that junk. My doggo is... alive. One day I'm expecting him to pass in my arms and the next he is like nothing happened. He is still an elderly little man with arthritis and a bad heart but he is... I guess still going? Idk he is already pushing 3 years past his life expectancy so I guess I just spoil him as long as he is still chugging along and isn't in anymore pain then a bit of arthritis that we can manage with meds.

That's where I was a few weeks ago. Then the ceiling collapsed.

Nothing was really damaged, just a lot of dust, but yeah part of my apartment ceiling came down. It took a bit to address as well, but as of right now most of the repairs are done with a schedule to have it fully fixed by early March.

I'm... REALLY SCARED to say things are looking better. Every time I do, something more seems to happen and it's been like... over a year now since I've been able to just exist without something else burning in the background.

I'm just going to take things as they are now, and research whatever sacrifice or mystic dance I need to preform to appease whatever cosmic gods of chaos I've angered so they will just chill for five minutes.

[fangsofwhite]

So... I lost like... a full week and maybe did not realize till like 20 mins ago that today was Friday.

Specifically the LAST Friday of 2023.

Anyways! I did it! I kept the flat fuck train I started till the end of 2023. Will probably not keep this up through 2024, life is getting hectic but this was a fun little personal challenge.

I'm still going to draw this goober, just whenever and not on a schedule cause he is too fun not to doodle. I just need to catch up on other owed art now that I'm finally able to sit at my desk and not feel like death.

...I just realized my horrible spelling in showing... I went to college!

[fangsofwhite]

Yeah this is the best I got today. Still want to finish the year in Flat Fuck Fridays, but I am being walloped by a nasty bug.

[fangsofwhite]

[fangsofwhite]

More of a sad fuck friday cause artist lost a pet today.