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fabreverie · 4 years ago

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Towards the end of holding on to a friend

Friends are essential to our lives, and they become precious gem to us. Many have treated their friends as their family, some have become their insignificant half, and some remained still as a friend. Some other people have treated strangers as friends, even though they have just met them once. But what if your longtime friend become stranger to you?

There are lots of reasons why a longtime friend become a stranger or why our friendship ended. Many have lost interest in their old friend and find a new one that could be in the same perspective as theirs. Like for example, you being an adventurous person had friend with a homebody person. At first everything is still good, more likely you still like it being with each other. But as time passes, things will change. The way you want your life to be will also change. An adventurous person will still look for adventure. However, two things are needed to be considered. It is either, you being an adventurous wanted a change like you wanted to stay at home more often, or you will look for other companion which on the same boat as you.

Friendship are consistently evolving – it is not a guarantee that they’ll last. What we have today might not be the one we will have in the future. Friendships are also considered as a reflection of what and who you are. A friendship you have during childhood and adolescence is hard to maintain during adulthood, cause as you grow, your perspective also grow. The way you see and understand life changes. But all the friendship we have doesn’t last easily, they last because both of you wanted to bring value in each other’s life. You wanted what’s good in them. But what if your friendship towards that person ended not that way we expect it? What will you do? There are many ways to fix a relationship towards a friend, but we also need to considered our feelings towards them. Is it still the same friendship you think you want when you’re trying to fix it or when it is fixed? Cause if not, then there is no reason for you to fix things that can’t be fix. If your feelings contradicts your choice, it will result to a useless decision or action, I guess.

When things are getting into mess on both of you, you can consider that as unhealthy relationship already with your friend. If in the relationship, negatives are taking over the friendship you have, you might as well think thoroughly about that. We don’t want unhealthy relationship in our lives. As many would say, quality is more important in relationship than quantity. During adulthood, we always have this idea with us. Cause we want a healthy relationship that could help each other to grow. We wanna make sure that the friendship we have is something that doesn’t provide toxicity in us. Other thing aside from that, is we wanna make sure that the friendship we could have will be a friendship where we can show who we truly are. Where we are open to them. Sometimes, the friend we considered censored our action. As what other mostly say, “professionalism” is also needed in friendship. It is not like that. A true friend accept us for what we are and who we are, we don’t need to filter our self when with them. If they can’t accept it, or even don’t like it, consider your friendship towards that person an end.

We wanted a long lasting friend, where we can always consider them in good and bad times. We should always be there with them, the same thing with them to us. Words could be taken to comfort them in bad times, but your action towards them will show how they really matter to you. Same thing in them to you. A true friendship won’t ask anything in return, however, “give and take” idea should always be considered without verbalizing it. It should be our initiative to have that, no matter what relationship we have. As one of a philosopher said, which I couldn’t remember that person, that in life, both person in a relationship should consider the give and take situation. Like how bird’s fly, the bird itself will be your relationship and each wings symbolizes you and your friend. For a bird to fly, it needs to flap it wings. Continue flapping it until it reach its destination. The same thing in a relationship you have with your friend, both of you should work together to make your relationship last long. It doesn’t matter, how you do it, as long as both of you are doing your part to make the relationship last.

If things couldn’t really make it last longer, at least have the courage to make things clear before ending it. It will be a good end to both of you at the same time it would mean that you will both have a very good beginning. Always have a proper closure to your friend, it will clear up things and will help not to hold grudge to each other. But if things like, your friend is showing explicit action that could mess up your relationship, then it is fine to immediately end it without having closure. Having no closure is already a closure. There are things that doesn’t need explanation if you can already see it in action. If they will ask, then that’s the time that you will need to give them the reason on why your ending it.

But when things get rough in relationship with your friend, also try to ask yourself if there is something you have done that could be a reason why your friend does no longer consider you as a friend. In a relationship, no matter what it is, always remember that there is always a two side of a coin. Your perspective in the event, and your friends perspective. At least know what you did wrong and apologize to it. If there is none, then lower down your ego. No matter who started it, as long as you did your part, that’s enough already.

If you think this helps you understand and relationship with your friend, then you can share this with your friend. If having thoughts related to this, please feel free to comment down. I will really love to hear your thoughts about this.

#friends #love #like #family #bff #memories #relationship #idea #cut #sugar

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