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ezraelthegay · 2 years ago

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'You look like you wanna f*ck me, Batsy'

Written by ezrandj ( ao3: xXEzraInkXx )

Word count: 1,762

Ship: Batjokes

Warnings: none (features very moderate mature language - censored - with sexual themes)

Synopsis: a sensual first kiss one-shot for J and Bats

Dedicated to my fellow batjokes fans. I hope you enjoy!

Alone in an alley, pinned against the wall by Batman's brute strength, most criminals would feel dismay.

Joker wasn't like most criminals.

Where a look of fear, irritation, or defeat should have been, Joker's face bore delight. His eyes were bright and his smile wide, as he looked up at the bat that held him against the wall.

Despite all of Joker's violent swings, swift blades, and unpredictable kicks, Batman had managed to grab hold of the clown. In the blink of an eye, Joker's slender physique and boney back slammed into cold bricks, as the caped crusader threw him into the wall.

The suddenness and harshness of the action made Joker laugh, entertained by his bat's strength.

The hero’s iron-like grip trapped Joker's wrists and held them on either side of Joker's head. The villain’s lean legs attempted to kick their way to freedom, but were quickly stopped as Batman's stronger, larger legs pressing against them, threatening to crush them. The entirety of the man's height and body was now incorporated into keeping Joker immobile.

Joker's laughter softened to a chuckle as he acknowledged the threatening strength and weight against him.

It was rare to get this close to his dark knight.

It felt quite nice.

Through long, mascara-coated lashes, green eyes looked into those of the masked vigilante.

Batman's eyes were fixed on the villain with an intensity that would frighten any sane man.

For Joker, it stirred a different feeling.

There was a heat between them in moments like these. Joker could feel it; that intangible tension that felt like electricity was trickling down his spine.

"You look like you wanna f*ck me, Batsy", Joker teased sweetly.

The clown had said it so casually; in a voice so much softer than Bruce could have ever expected.

"That could be arranged, y'know", the jester added, in a flirtatious, almost lover-like whisper.

Bruce felt the warmth of blush attack him. He prayed that it was hidden by his mask. His enemy would undoubtedly love to see that he had shocked and flustered him, and Bruce didn't want to give him that satisfaction.

There was a beat of silence before Batman managed to say something.

"I won't entertain your perverted delusions. Your mind is sick and twisted”, Batman responded coldly.

That made Joker cackle. He loved when his bat got nasty. His red lips stretched to frame his white smile. The grin only softened as he spoke.

"Honestly bats, I think you'd enjoy something a little sick and twisted", he responded.

Then, without warning, the clown gently pressed his hips forward to meet Bruce.

As narrow white hips pressed against him, all thoughts seemed to leave Bruce's mind. Shocked by the touch, Bruce’s body felt frozen, as his heart began to race.

"Aren't you curious just how perverted my delusions can be?", Joker asked, his tone sultry.

Bruce felt something akin to panic, rising inside of him. He could feel his face and ears getting hot.

The villain had made advances before, but not like this. It had never been quite this forward and shameless.

Bruce realized, that despite the tight feeling in his throat, and the tangled knot of anxiety forming in his chest, his body wasn’t pulling away from the clown.

"Nothing to say, Bats? I know you're a man of few words, but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to push me back violently, and call me disgusting", Joker mused with a smile.

"You are disgusting", Batman managed to say.

"Mmm, you have no idea", Joker purred.

Bruce was starting to sweat now.

"Don’t worry. We can start slow, darling", Joker whispered. "I'll kiss the frown off of that pretty bat mouth of yours. Then my lips will go a little lower, and lower…and lower", he trailed off suggestively.

For once, Bruce had no idea what to say. If he was being honest, his head was swimming and he felt… confused.

Batman however, was able to respond.

"We're going to Arkham", the hero replied flatly.

Joker smiled.

"Fucking at Arkham, Bats? That's much riskier than this alley. You're a bit of a freak," the clown joked, before erupting in laughter at his own jest.

Bruce rolled his eyes.

"We're not fucking", the bat responded.

"Well no, not yet”, the joker agreed. “I'm trying to fix that".

Joker’s playfulness was equally as charming as it was exhausting.

"I've had enough of this", Batman responded firmly.

"Me too", the clown agreed, before closing the space between them and kissing the dark knight.

Time seemed to stand still as red lips met Bruce’s mouth.

The villain's kiss wasn't forceful. It was soft and intentional. It felt loving.

Though he hated to acknowledge it, Bruce could feel an airy lightness trying to swirl through him. His heart and his body felt... different than they had the moment before.

It was strange to think, but Bruce swore it felt sort of like roses were blooming inside of his head; their velvet petals expanding and bringing new breathe of life and delicate beauty.

Blossoming and lush, romantic and lovely, they filled the inside of his skull.

The Knight's hands gently rose to hold the jester's face. It was only then, as he felt Joker's pale cheeks, that he realized he had let go of the villain’s wrists.

Anxiety grabbed at him. It reminded him that the Joker could easily attack him now and warned that at any moment, Bruce could feel a knife in his side.

Instead, Bruce felt gloved hands softly slide around his waist, wanting to hold the small of his back.

Joker tilted his head further, kissing Bruce as if he were precious to him.

Maybe he was.

In a loud, chaotic mind, it was incredibly rare for Joker to feel peace. Tranquility was a foreign word to him really. However, holding his hero like this, kissing him, he now felt that quiet bliss he vaguely knew so long ago. He remembered standing on a rooftop in darkness, illuminated by billowing fire and smoke, and being warmed by it’s ravenous heat.

In the wake of destruction and the whimsy of doom, as fire grew and buildings crumbled, sometimes Joker’s mind would quiet. He would picture him and his knight fighting to the death and being the last two standing at the end of all things. It felt nice to imagine and for a long time, that was Joker’s idea of intimacy with Bats. Nothing less, and never anything more. Batman would never let him touch him the way that he wanted to.

Yet, here they were; touching, kissing, and feeling eachother.

Joker wished with everything in him that his lips could convey all of the love, lust, and yearning he felt.

With passion, he gripped the vigilante tighter and brought his tongue to Bruce’s lips.

To the jester’s delight, Batman’s mouth parted for him.

Their mouths melted into each other and they both grew more aggressive. Their soft kiss became hot, wet, and needy. Both men felt their breathing turn heavier, until it was panting.

Batman's gloved fingers ran through luscious green hair and caused an almost desperate moan to leave Joker’s throat.

Bruce knew, technically, everything about this moment was wrong. If anyone saw them; saw Batman…

Bruce broke the kiss. His lips, now red with lipstick, left Joker's.

Their faces remained close as Bruce looked down towards the ground, lost in thought and a moral dilemma.

Joker was evil personified, and Batman was supposed to resist evil at every turn. He was supposed to fight against it and not… do whatever this was.

The villain before him was wicked and cruel. He was selfish and vile. He was everything Batman was supposed to hate. Most heroes would be horrified at the thought of being this close to the madman, let alone this intimate.

But then again…

Batman wasn't like most heroes.

While one of Bruce's gloved hands still held the back of Joker's head, the other reached to hold the villain's slim waist. Bruce leaned in and kissed his villain with heat.

Joker never believed heaven was real but he was starting to reconsider things. Soft, strong lips, so often stuck in a frown, were kissing him madly. Hands he had fought, so many times before, were now in his hair and holding his body. Strong arms that he always wanted to die in, were now painfully-pleasing to be alive in and everything felt new but familiar all at once.

Bruce must’ve felt the same, because his body was acting like he and the clown had done this a thousand times. Without thinking, his mouth had traveled down to the jester’s pale neck and he didn’t hesitate to let his tongue taste the skin there.

Joker’s breathing hitched. The feeling of Bruce’s tongue on him was more arousing than he was prepared for, and before he could process it further, he felt teeth touch his neck.

“Fuck”, the jester exhaled breathlessly, desire saturating the word.

Though he couldn’t be sure, for a moment, the clown thought he could feel Batman’s mouth turn into a small smile. If it was there, it was gone before Batman pulled away and looked into his eyes.

Bruce observed the clown for a moment. His red lipstick was smeared every which way. His green hair was tousled and much messier than before. His eyes were locked on the hero with a wistful gleam, longing to be touched more, and waiting to know if he would be.

“You look like you wanna f*ck me”, Bruce said playfully, mocking the Joker’s earlier accusation.

That made Joker smile.

“It’s because I do”, the clown responded.

“We can’t have sex in an open alley. That’s actually insane”, Bruce replied matter-of-factly.

“You seem to like insane”, Joker shrugged, brushing his green hair behind his ear innocently. “But if you insist, how about the bat-mobile instead?”, he suggested.

Batman was silent for a moment, lost in thought seemingly.

“Alright. Follow me”, the knight directed as he turned on his heel smoothly and walked away from the clown.

“What?”, Joker asked baffled. He would’ve been delighted if he weren’t so shocked. “Are you serious?”

“...so you always tell me”, Batman replied, his voice light and teasing.

This was starting to feel like a fever dream to Joker. Wide-eyed, he watched the vigilante walking away, his stature tall, and his cape swaying. Although he could drink in that sight forever, he realized with a start, that he had to follow him before he got out of view.

He had some perverted delusions to address.

#batjokes #batman x joker #batjokes fanfic #they're so in love with eachother it makes me SICK #joker x batman #bruce x joker

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