essaysonthings

[essaysonthings]

How much longer?

[Disclaimer: this is all my opinion. Facts are based on articles I've read but mighy contain speculations. Trigger warning: rape, murder]

How much longer? How much longer do women need to be afraid? I didn't think I would be writing this, at least not under these circumstances. I wish it wasn't true but it's reality.

A 23 year old woman was murdered when a man attempted to rape her. She fought back so he hit her until she stopped moving. Her name is Julie Van Espen. She was on her way to friends when it happened.

I did not know Julie but the fact that she's a young Belgian woman, still a student, is relatable. I am a Belgian woman who's still a student. And I realise that it could have happened to me. It could have happened to all of us. In a way, we're all Julie.

I have never seen my Facebook friends share something as much as they shared Julie's missing person poster. We all hoped that she would be okay until we heard the terrible news. Rest in peace, Julie.

At least they caught him. What do we know? That he appealed a 4 year prison sentence for rape in 2017. Waiting for the verdict he was free. The trial was next month. Meanwhile he murdered an innocent girl. Reports say that he was waiting for a victim, a true predator. It happened to be Julie.

How could this man be free? How could they let him go only for him to murder someone? How could the justice system fail like that?

People say that Julie was at the wrong place at the wrong time. She was, in the sense that she happened to be the victim. She was not in the sense that she should be okay on her bike there, still in the daylight. He shouldn't have been there waiting for a victim.

Julie is not to blame. He is.

How much longer do we need to live in a society where women need to be afraid. We are always taught to be careful. We all have our own defense mechanisms and even that still fails some of us. I'll be the first to admit that I also think about being careful. I walk faster if a man is being weird. I think about where I sit in the train. I tend to sit with women rather than men. Anything to be safe. I was taught to be like this. I don't want to have to think about this.

At this point, what can we do? Are you going to lock all of us up because something might happen if we come outside? I don't want to be afraid. I don't want to care about my skirt being long enough. I don't want to feel self conscious every time a man wolf whistles at me. I remember a man once telling me I had a nice ass. I was wearing jeans. I did not provoke. But I felt bad. I felt objectified. I've had enough.

Truth is, society likes to blame the victims.

I'll say this time and time again: teach your sons to be good to women. We need to start teaching men some decency. And certainly not let anyone go who's a known rapist. Rape should not exist. Women shouldn't have to be afraid.

The sad truth is that Julie is one of many and there is no telling in how many more women will be victims. We can only hope it's not us.

Is it a normal dinner conversation with friends when you're discussing the best ways to fight back should we ever be in that position? Is it normal that the most reassuring you can be to each other is promising you'll make sure the guy never gets out should it happen to them? I don't think it is.

We shouldn't have to think about this. But the truth is that all of us felt like it could hace been us. We are all Julie in a way.

Change is needed. Change in the justice system because someone like that should not be free. Change in the way men treat women. Unfortunatuly, that last one doesn't look like it's happening anytime soon.

Women can only to continue to fight. I feel like we owe it to Julie. And I sincerely hope that things can change. I want to believe that it's possible.

Rest in peace, Julie.

- A

[essaysonthings]

The American Dream Revisited (or how my opinion on the US changed)

[Disclaimer: this is very likely to offend a lot of people (especially Americans). This is purely my own opinion and something I've been thinking about for a while. This will involve politics and I can already tell you that I start to rage a bit.]

Growing up in Belgium I saw a lot of foreign movies. That's logical. So many movies are American after all. These movies often depict America as well. I saw American high schoolq and cities. It made me dream. It made me dream about going to America one day. There is Hollywood and New York and it all looks so impressive.

I wanted to go there as well. America was almost like a magical place where so much seems possible. It's naive to think like that but I did. I'm now obviously talking about being a young child. At the time I was still oblivious to bigger issues. I only saw that ideal movie version of the US.

I saw the same thing happening to my younger sister. She also dreamt about going there one day. She's into acting and other arts so Hollywood is still a kind of big dream for her.

I'm becoming a bit uncertain about the US and I'll tell you why.

I suppose this started before the 2016 election but that definitely forced me to think about it even more. We constantly talked about it in school. My class mates all rooted for Bernie Sanders and so did I. Perhaps that is our Belgian perspective on things but we liked his ideas. When he lost we switched to Hillary in the idea of 'as long as it's not Trump'. But it was him.

I distinctly remember waking up, turning on the tv and finding out how while Clinton won the popular vote, Trump won the electoral vote meaning that he was to become presidebt of the United States. I remember the disappointment. I remember seeing my class mates and all of us being angry and disappointed. How could you, America? I remember how our teacher said we had to accept America's choice only to be met by arguments from us. He said: 'You have to accept democracy.' We replied that democracy is not winning with less votes. The guy behind me said: 'If that's possible than democracy died today.'

Perhaps we exaggerated but we were emotional. We were in shock. We diid not understand how this could have happened. It was surreal, much like the surrealism we experienced after Brexit.

So I started thinking about how this could have happened and I started to look into the divisions America deals with. I started to look into race issues more than ever. I did the same with multiple aspects of American society. I still do and the longer I do so, the more frustrating it gets.

I knew Americans can be quite ignorant to the rest of the world but I was baffled to see how bad it actually is. I spoke to an American who was unaware that in the past years there had been terror attacks in Europe. She countered saying I probably never heard from school shootings happening in the US. Well, I did. We spent at least two hours on Columbine in secondary school.

Also, for a country that keeps yelling freedom, they're not that good at actually executing said freedom. Everyone should receive the same amount of freedom. I don't want to claim that Belgium is some kind of utopia because we definitely have our flaws. But America seems to have some particular problems you wouldn't see here to the same extent.

A big one is the problem with gun control. I don't understand how America still allows guns. I have never seen one in my life and I'd be happy to keep it that way. After all of those shootings you'd think common sense would have kicked in a long time ago but no. You'll still allow it to happen.

Then there's also healthcare. Why is it such a difficult concept for America? Here in Belgium we have a decent healthcare system. Mothers actually get paid leave after giving birth. It's ridiculous that you'd let people die when you could easily help them. It just goes to show that America is not about the people but about the money. You only count if you can afford things. Sadly that's not the case for many people. Socio-economic factors can also cause discrimination. Because of history this can also come down to racial discrimination.

Those are just a few of the issues. Yet America still acts like they're the one and only leader and example to the world. America feels qualified to install democracies in other countries. America feels qualified to intervene. History proves that that's usually the wrong decision.

So when I think about America now I think of their ignorance, egocentrism, isolationism and much, much more.

My sister is a lot younger. I already mentioned that she really wanted to visit America. After Trump's election she decided she no longer wanted to. She is a child. That's the impact he has.

As for me, I don't know if I want to go to the US anymore. I think I do but I'm not naive. I see that country how it really is and no longer in the movie representation of it.

America is not what it pretends to be.

- A

[essaysonthings]

Disclaimer

On this blog I will share my own perspective on things. People will disagree and that is okay. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. Feel free to discuss things and perhaps show me your own perspective on things.

Topics will vary and I'll perhaps start with a disclaimer or heads up about the topic.

Again, feel free to ask me anything. Also, for those wondering what my perspective is, check the description for all information.

- A