epigrvm

[epigrvm]

◞★ TYPIST SPEAKS ; 

it’s been awhile, hasn’t it ? i hope you’re all fairing well and are taking good care of yourselves. with the state of the world, i truly do hope you’re all finding time for self care and leaning on each other for support. i’m here to say that despite not wanting to fully give up sangcheol, this blog will definitely be placed on an indefinite hiatus. there’s always that hope to potentially return in the future, but with my priorities not exactly being here and elsewhere, i can’t say for certain when that day would be. it can be tomorrow for all i know or it might not be ever. regardless of when or where, i just want to thank each and every one of you for allowing me the opportunity to write with you, to give me a creative outlet that is roleplaying and writing a character. it has definitely been a huge part of my life for awhile, just not so much in recent years. thank you though, for writing with me, plotting with me and allowing me to express freely and openly. this isn’t a good-bye, just a let’s see each other again in the future.  do take care of yourselves. 

[epigrvm]

❝ Just understand that some days are difficult for me. ❞ < detective >

                    █▐ { ✖ } ⊱     SANGCHEOL SHOULD know better than anyone and relate intensely with those words that spilled from the senior detective’s tiers. He should know better not to pry, not to force someone to talk about something they weren’t comfortable with. More than anything he should know that some wounds, some scars would take some time to heal and perhaps maybe they wouldn’t ever heal — a memory that would haunt them forever, a dark shadow that hung over them, refusing to leave. The junior detective let his desire for more knowledge get the best of him, going so far as to ask the chief for a little bit more information about his partner, to gain more insight about the person he had been assigned to work with. To be frank, Min Jaehwan rarely spoke unless it was either a topic that required his insight or a subject matter that, well, mattered to him. That or the occasional guzzling of alcohol. There were the one-offs where the detective would say more than the usual and when that happens, it provides the other with some sense of accomplishment, as if a goal were met or he had chipped away a little more at that stone cast wall his partner had put up.A slow and long exhalation seeps from his nostrils as slender fingers extend forth for some consolation or a gesture of comfort. Unfortunately, that hand stops short and is retracted to shove back into the comforts of a pocket, hidden in it’s crevices while digits tug at lint. Chocolate hues cast down towards the ground as a feeling of sincere remorse looms over him. It takes the male a few seconds, which feel like years in the deathly silence, but he finally musters the courage to speak. ❝  I’m sorry, Min. I should know my place. I shouldn’t meddle in your business especially if you don’t want me or anyone to. ❞ There’s a slight pause as he hesitates to lift up his head to catch a glimpse of the other male, but he’s too scared to do so. ❝  I promise I won’t interfere anymore, but just know that if you ever do need anything, anything at all, I’m here. ❞ 

It probably was the last thing Jaehwan wanted to hear. There was probably some thought of betrayal because his own partner went behind his back to learn more about him. Or perhaps it wasn’t anything like that at all and Jaehwan just thought it was distasteful for Sangcheol to not just go to him for that information instead. Whatever it may be, whatever it could be, the junior detective knew that this would most likely cause another barrier to form between them. That effort he had put into during the span of time they’ve been partners, that hole had just grown larger, further distancing them than before. 

@sxgaboo

[epigrvm]

◞★ TYPIST SPEAKS ; hi everyone. i owe you all an apology since the last time i was on, i said i would have the time again. truthfully when i did have time, i didn’t have the energy or the motivation and it continued to drag on that way until, well, until now. a good chunk of threads are going to be dropped just because most of them were last touched on back in february/march and it’s .. basically the end of the year now. it’s mostly threads that i don’t see going anywhere/it’s been far too long since i’ve responded to them. i would still like to get a thread going with you though as i’d still like to write with you, but i hope you don’t mind that i’ll be dropping a handful of threads. 

dropping the following:  *if we have more than one thread, i’ll list which one’s i’m dropping @minxygi  @zephyrvm ( 1 ) @aniimvs @mvxnn ( 1 ) @michikikomori @busanbunnie ( 1 , 2 ) @eterneli @sxgaboo ( 1 , 2 ) i’ll most likely hit you up through messages or send you a random inbox. :)

[epigrvm]

❛  YOONJI .

　　　　　　　　The two easily cause a scene within the club ― it’s evident with the way eyes turn towards the gang leader and unknown woman, the smart remarks that cause laughter, silence and questions. yoonji can’t help but crack a small smile when its’ the silver haired woman that hushes the men down ― her dark brown hues panning down the woman, barely knowing her and already there was so much POWER beaming off of her despite being infront of someone whom had every wrapped around his finger because of who he was. no one ever tried to humiliate him the way she just did, and how that would of made his skin crawl, she knows, it was a sexist thing. she should be bowing down to him, just as yoonji had to to keep her “job” in singing in the club. It does however make her nervous for the woman, knowing very well that he never went anywhere unarmed or atleast, if he didn’t, his men did. one word to be said and bullet may as well be shot through her skull instead. 

　　　　　　　　The on lookers, whisper to one another, one pair getting up from their tables and taking their leave, it happened when such situations occurred, any normal person would take cover and leave while they can before they or someone else got hurt but that did mean they’d slowly lose business if more people took notice of what was going on. so walking towards the small stage, she whispers something to the pianist and is soon approaching the microphone stand; anything to peel the customers eyes from the scene that was happening so openly, the fools. ❝ehem.. good evening everyone, I hope you’ve all been having a lovely night.❞ her soft voice echoes within the room, filling it with such angelicness that it captures most peoples’ attention. ❝I will be your entertainment tonight, just as I am every Thursday to Sunday.❞ she announces, promoting herself as she usually would, if they’d like her, they’d come visit more often, it was beneficial as maybe one day someone might recruit her and take her away from this all, taking her step by step to her real goal in life.

　　　　　　　　Bodies perk up and those whom know the jazz singer pay their full attention to her as a gloved hand wraps around the microphone and a warm, bright smile forms across her redden lips, eyes glimpsing over to the female with silver hair, as if checking on her, making sure she was careful and not harmed in anyway. soon, music begins to fill the air again and soon, her voice to join in with the melody; maybe if she’s lucky. if the women stays around, she could find her later and warn her, not to come back.

                    █▐ { ❀ } ⊱     SHE’S TEMPTED to make another remark, but is stopped abruptly by the sound of a sultry voice reverberating the speakers in the jazz club. The woman stops counting, already losing track of what the number was so far just as her fingers are instead just hovering over the bills. Chocolate hues cast towards the stage and both piano and voice take her over, gathering all of her attention and surely all of the attention from those who were present. It’s no wonder people who come here find it hard to leave. Well, in part because some who do come here might not come out ever again and those who do manage, come here before of the jazz singer. Complete entranced, Sangmi nearly forgets why she had come here in the first place. She’s so engrossed in the soft, yet powerful vocals of the singer that an automatic   ❝  Yeah,  ❞ leaves her tiers when the mob boss grunts how remarkable she was. Her trance is sharply sliced at the next statement. 

❛ She definitely deserves a nice reward tonight when I take her home and throw her in bed. ❜ The silver-haired woman’s eye twitches. Disgusting, vile piece of trash. Men. Why did they always think that’s the sort of thing women wanted ? Always thinking with their other head as opposed to the one in their skull. Resuming back to counting the money, she quickly shuts the case once she’s finished and stands up.  ❝  Everything looks good here. Pleasure doin` business with you. Before I leave though, I’m gonna have a quick drink if you don’t mind.  ❞ Before she lets him say a word, Sangmi is already heading towards the bar side. Careful steps takes her towards the bar, still observing her surroundings in case anything happens to her. A hand waves down the barkeep requesting for whiskey and ginger ale, neat. With her back pressed against the bar’s counter, the woman’s attention returns to the stage, watching with great intrigue at the other singing. A woman in her element. Such a shame she’s stuck here with the likes of a horn dog. Tch, I’d pop his fat skull if I could.  Once her drink arrives, fingers lace around the glass and Sangmi takes a long sip, feeling the burn of the liquor dribble down her throat. She won’t stay too long. Besides, she’s certain she had worn out her welcome here anyway. Any longer and something might happen and she wasn’t going to risk that, especially with a suitcase full of cash she had ideas to use on later. I’ll leave after this song. Or after my drink is finished. 

[epigrvm]

❛  JAEHWAN .

　　　　　　　　The smile that spreads across the other males’ features, so soft, so sweet, he feels hopeful that the males’ answer would be no. he knows sangcheol wasn’t too keen for the drama that other students made, he after all was someone seeking for others to see him for him and not just the popular kid who was good at volleyball, that was how jaehwan easily sneaked into his friendship group and hopped up to the top with his acceptance over how the older boy actually was and not the way he presented himself during a volleyball match. but either way, sangcheol was charming in his own ways, just like he was right in this current moment with his arm being brought around the smaller males’ shoulder with the reassuring words that he wouldn’t listen to a couple of toxic words and yet, he wants to whine and tell him not to say things like that, that he should just ditch jaehwan for the better good, so his heart doesn’t have to pound so hard against his chest every time the older student says such sweet words to him as a friend would. 

　　　　　　　　Deeply exhaling, his eyes stare out to the neighbourhood road, he hates heights and yet, he always gives in onto coming up onto the rooftop like this with him. how was he suppose to confess that the rumours were true? surely his opinion would change, he’d be uncomfortable after he says they were true. thats just how society worked. ❝I cried in the boys bathroom throughout all of lunch today..❞ he voices, weakly, admitting that’s where he was when they spoke through text and the older boy asked that the two were looking for him to eat with at the cafeteria; he told him that he was caught up with his art teacher, helping her but that was a lie because he wanted to hide the fact he was hurting. his brows furrow, arms still hugging his legs, thinking about all the things he could of possibly avoided for the situation to become as it did. that was HIS SECRET to tell and now the whole school was looking down upon him because someone thought it was funny to JOKE about it, come up with any false rumour and spread it, even if it was all true and now, he wasn’t the one that could tell it, couldn’t pick when the time was right; that is what upset him the most.

　　　　　　　　❝I didn’t know what else to do when.. everyone was looking at me differently and saying words that shouldn’t be said..❞ he can’t find himself to admit, that what was being said was true, he didn’t want sangcheol to know, he didn’t want others to know, he didn’t even want to tell his parents as jaehwan wasn’t even sure of it, yes, he was sure he had feelings for sangcheol and yes, he was a boy too, he had jerked off to the thought of him and had sensual dreams which would have him extremely bashful the next day but he felt so unsure about it all himself.  ❝everyones’ going to suddenly treat me differently because of something someone spread around and.. i don’t want you to do that too.. so please promise me you won’t…❞

                  █▐ { ✖ } ⊱     HIS HEART THROBS upon hearing where Jaehwan had been during their lunch break. The worry that perhaps it was more than just what was typed out through text messages was confirmed then. Despite having the Mihyun accompanying him during lunch, it wasn’t enough to ease the sense of unease in the pit of his stomach. You could have done more than sit there and text him, you know. You could have gone out to look for him. But how could he have then ? Trust had been given that the younger male was in fact with his teacher and not in the boy’s bathroom in pain. Yet, Sangcheol blamed himself for not following his gut, not adhering to his intuition, but instead full trust into the younger boy’s empty reassurance. A gentle squeeze of Jaehwan’s shoulder is offered before gradually retracting his arm back. Sangcheol’s body shifts with legs now crossed and hands clutching at his ankles. ❝  Not everyone will see you and treat you differently, dongsaeng. I’ll still see you the same. I promise I won’t be one of those who’ll treat you any different as the I’ve always been treating you. You’re my friend. My best friend.  ❞ The edges of his mouth pull upwards into a wide and reassuring smile. It’s an attempt to soothe those fears that the younger boy had, even if the word ❛ friend ❜ when leaving the walls of his mouth, felt not quite right. He can’t completely understand why and is quick to dismiss it.  

❝  People are always going to say hurtful things to try to get to you, to try to get under your skin to see a reaction out of you because when they know that they’ve hurt your feelings, they feel like they’ve won. But just know even when there are people out there who will say those things to hurt your feelings, I will only believe in your words. Their words don’t matter.  ❞  The older boy doesn’t fully know if his words made sense and because of that, he’s pulling a hand back to rub at the nape of his neck with an abashed grin gracing his features. Chocolate hues are now staring up at the sky and a coy laugh spills forth into the air. Internally, he’s already thinking of approaching his former girlfriend and giving her a piece of his mind. This was the last straw and she didn’t have the right to make someone else’s life miserable all because she was miserable — all for her own self gain. He couldn’t allow that. 

[epigrvm]

❛  @mvxnn — the show goes on .

                    █▐ { ❀ } ⊱     SHE JUST HATED how sometimes nostalgia gave her a false sense of security. Going down a rabbit hole of memories that can start off as something innocent and simple like a song that hadn’t been heard of in ages. The memories that tie into that soon send her spiraling down into a retrograde motion, pulling up things from the past that sometimes she wished would stay there and never resurface. A trap it definitely was. Fringes are pushed back from her brows only to gradually fall back messily in front of her forehead again. Arms fold over her chest and a huff spills forth from her lips. ❝  It is absolutely and positively complicated and the worst case scenarios always come out of it —— it’s stupid.  ❞ Quite the over the top exaggeration, but she was just a bit moodier today than usual. 

[epigrvm]

　　　　　　　　Their second anniversary together was truly treasurable, jaehwan would like to think and he was certain the other male felt the same way. their evening being, rather overwhelming for him after his boyfriend had given him all these wonderful gifts and they spent dinner talking over their new addition to their family, but most of all, about the whole looking into getting a home together, not just an apartment like the one they currently lived in but an actual house with a backyard; there were all different options and he was basking in it all, admiring every little detail to each potential house, just as sangcheol did. and even though after dinner, they decided to just relax and spend most of their night just here, in their home, he had other plans ― though in truth, after all of that, he did feel like he should of gotten more, a sudden wave of feeling bad that maybe he sangcheol would of been expecting more or something along those lines after that big surprise the older male pulled.

　　　　　　　　　　　❝lets’ go for a walk babe.❞ he suddenly says after walking out of the bedroom and back into the living room, after searching their draws, he, having hidden a small box with his old costumes that he still owned, knowing very well that sangcheol wouldn’t look through them ( because why did he have to? ) it came in handy, by this time, it was already past ten. the night would still be alive but that didn’t matter, his main focus was on the small plan he had for his boyfriend and since it was summer, it would be warm and they wouldn’t have to freeze their arses off when they’d leave the apartment lot. ❝I just feel like going for a walk again.❞ he tells him, giving a small pout as if to insist that’s what he wanted, it didn’t seem all that weird, sangcheol by now knew how the younger liked the nightlife, how he enjoyed going out more so during the night than day, strolls or for a night drive, unfortunately for him not having a license he wasn’t able to do that. once he’s encouraged to go out with him. the two are on their way through the city;

　　　　　　　　　　　Hand in hand, it seeming longer than their usual strolls but, the two were lost in conversation and honestly, he doesn’t think sangcheol minded. after soon coming up to a familiar street, he tugs on his boyfriends hand, a bright smile spread across his lips. ❝babe, you know why I took you here, right?❞ the park they were headed to was a old familiar spot, hence, they’d only been there once or twice, and even though he used to live close by, he didn’t come here too often. a chuckle slips past his lips and he leads them over towards the playground, empty at this hour, just like it was when they were drunk and shared their first kiss together. ❝still looks the same as it did before,❞ he comments, letting go of his boyfriends hand and gesturing towards the swing. ❝you first?❞ his smile is bright, pink gums in full sight as his lips curl up and his top row of teeth are showing; as soon as the older complies, jaehwan makes himself comfortable, by doing exactly what he did that night by sitting on his lap despite it being dangerously, least this time around they were more aware of themselves. 

　　　　　　　　　　　❝I’m really thankful for today baby. I mean.. everyday with you is wonderful but today, it’s just special.❞ an arm comes forth to wrap around his boyfriends shoulder while the other reaches back to his pocket. ❝I know it’s… not as much as what you got for me and… I know you’re not much of a jewellery person but I couldn’t not get anything for you today. you deserve to be treated just as much as you treated me today. so I could these custom made rings for us.❞ holding the ring box, inside was two rings, one was for sangcheol and one was for him; a sun and a moon, similar to their tattoos however they’d wear the ones that represented themselves this time. ❝they connect when you put them together, kind of like, the missing half is always with the other person. you’re my other half, and I’m really happy to have spent these two years with you being able to call you mine. I love you honey, Happy second anniversary.❞ 

[epigrvm]

❛  jaehwan .

　　　　　　　　Watching the male as he peeks into the lot, jaehwan is keeping his guard, just in case, they never knew if someone would just sneak on up on them. his tongue swipes over his lips and as the rookie detective gives his sign, he’s moving forward, pocketing his gun and flash light, he’s then being careful to enter through the window too ― the doors would make too much sound and although they could give the man a WARNING, jaehwan preferred it this way, therefore they wouldn’ t be prepped for attack and he was thankful that the other male complied and did as he told him to ( for the most part ) one his feet make it inside the place, his head is turning, eyes shifting to look around ― EMPTY, no one was currently in this room and with the eerie silence, he didn’t trust the first initial plan, they’d have to stick together. this person knew they were after them; turning his head to look at the other male, he gives a small head gesture, ushering him to hurry up and join him too.

　　　　　　　　As the other makes his way in, jaehwan in carefully approaching the door, his back presses against the wall and his head peeks out, handgun in hand once more for his own defence. checking on sangcheol, he gives another hand gesture to follow him, he could feel sweat beginning to build up from his forehead, causing the random ebony strands to stick to his forehead, it was pretty intense, something didn’t feel right. ❝you take the right room, I’ll take the left room.❞ he whispers to the male, giving him the instructions he deemed correct, there’s a feeling though, they were upstairs, but they had to be sure that everything was clear ― perhaps they weren’t even here and already took their flee, he unfortunately can’t doubt someone that might have enough smarts to outwit the two detectives. on soft feet, he makes his way towards the door  towards the left, his hand reaches out for the knob, turning it and opening the door, barging in, gun held up, he’s scanning the room; nothing, it’s clear. 

　　　　　　　　Further entering the room to have a quick look around, ❝it’s clear.❞ he voices, only to rush out at the sound of sangcheols voice.

                  █▐ { ✖ } ⊱     THE WAY THEY MOVE is fluid and smooth, many years for the seasoned veteran while Sangcheol, the rookie, just did what he was taught, mimicking the moves that he thought were the right call to action. His breath comes out in soft and even tempos, despite the rate of his heart pounding intensely in his rib cage, ready to burst out at any moment at the mere thought of perhaps the culprit was hidden somewhere in the shadows, in some nook they couldn’t see. However, he only hopes for nothing of that sort, they had to be careful and observant at the same time. Reaction was a key to their survival here, lest they had a death wish, which the rookie detective was certain that wasn’t the case. At least, not yet. Not until they complete all the things that they wanted to accomplish in this life. For him, it was finding whoever killed his uncle and then perhaps this passion, this lust for justice would die.  Carefully, the taller male makes his way towards the room. His steps were as silent as a mouse, lightly landing on the old, molded wooden floors with nary a creak beneath the soles of his shoes when pressure is applied. Pistol in hand, the other presses flatly against the door and he slowly pushes it open, eyes and ears alert as ever. What he doesn’t expect, though, was to see cadavers, lifeless on the floor. The stench was overwhelming and Sangcheol could feel whatever he ate that afternoon churn, ready to rise to his throat if his hand hadn’t come up any faster to cover his mouth. Rotten flesh in pieces were strewn across the floor. One thing much eerie than the imagery itself was all the cadavers and the body parts — none of them had heads. A scene right out of any horror movie.  Once he feels the presence of the other detective by his side, a small sense of relief washes over him, but it’s temporary, as this was no scene anyone outside of the force should ever see. This, unfortunately, was something they had to live with on a daily basis. Expecting the unexpected and the worse of the worst. However, this was more evidence. They shouldn’t tamper with this, not yet.  ❝  This is far worse than I expected . . . Detective Min.  ❞ There wasn’t a point in dilly-dallying as their offender was still on the loose, in this building. 

Swallowing thickly, Sangcheol turns to look at Jaehwan with a newfound fire in his eyes. They had to save everyone before this gets worse.  ❝  We need to hurry.  ❞

[epigrvm]

❛  jaehwan .

　　　　　　　　Be honest, that’s what he asked, that’s what he wanted, he wanted the servant to be completely honest with him. whether that was a good thing or not, he should know the type of answer sangcheol would of given. anyone sane would say the princes plans for him were outrageous, but it was his own fault, they’d say, for not finding a women during their balls or charity events. if the prince couldn’t find someone on their own, then they’d have someone ready for him to meet, marry and take the throne with her. life unfortunately wasn’t like a fairy tale, one couldn’t just look up from the opposite side of the ballroom and see her, the perfect woman that made their heart skip a beat ― he’d approach her and then realise it was love at first sight. they’d take off together, laugh and he’d ask to see her again. true love, that’s what they called it; it was all a lie for someone like jaehwan. just made up stories as he had to love a woman he didn’t want to. so if sangcheol expressed he wouldn’t do what jaehwan was being forced to commit too, it was only common sense to disagree.

　　　　　　　　And to his exact presumptions, the older male begins to express how he’d react if he was in jaehwans position. he gives him credit, for thinking he woud be so strong headed and loud spoken. if only acting in such a fashion wouldn’t have his parents be fully disappointed in him, if only they’d smile and tell him to hurry up then as a means of encouragement. his temper tantrums were of no acceptance and his parents would just let his cool off before approaching the topic again. it was sad really, pulling and toying at him that he had to go through with the arranged marriage, that it’d be not only good for the country but him. removing his gaze from sangcheol, he reaches out for his cup of tea; lips meet with the rip and he takes a quick sip before switching it up with a delicious biscuit that he was looking forward to eating.

　　　　　　　　❝if I became offended because of your words then there would be no point of asking for your honesty to begin with.❞  he sighs, sangcheol was always polite like that, making sure his prince wasn’t disappointed in his words or upset with him. ❝I admire the way you think sangcheol, I wish.. I wish it was that easy to just announce myself like that, to show them all that I don’t want to go through with this… the only choice for me would be to… leave.❞ and that would be bold, to just take his things and leave, leave everything behind just because of being forced to live a life he didn’t want to. teeth sink into the treat and jaehwans’ eyes aren’t exactly focused on sangcheol anymore, infact, he’s staring at nothing in particular as he chews and soon swallows, only to take another bite.

                  《 ※ 》    WAS IT THE only option someone had ? Running away ? A coward’s cards to play, but yet perhaps everyone needed to do such a thing once in awhile. Run anywhere that was beyond the eyes of those who would judge, who would cast their thoughts and traditions on another person. Perhaps only then, the prince would be able to gather all his thoughts together and think on this whole situation with a clearer mind and a clearer heart. Even then, arranged marriages weren’t exactly something most people would walk into willingly. And he understood that, even if not entirely, but enough to know how heated he would feel in the moment, but not want to disappoint his own parents. 

Sangcheol’s hues remained cast downwards, blinking as he contemplates on what to say next. ❝  Where would you leave to, then, your highness — if you could just simply pack up your belongings and leave ?  ❞ It was a dangerous world out there. Despite the love and affections he received from the people of their town that they looked over and maybe even the next country over, there were bandits and mercenaries who sought after the prince’s title, the prince’s head. But the servant wouldn’t allowed the prince to run, to leave. Not without him. He’d go with him. Leave everything behind just to make certain the prince was safe, that he was taken care of. Whether they had to live and learn such a life on their own without the help of anyone else, Sangcheol would do his very best to make sure his highness was still catered to. Foolishly, they would run. Where they go would be a blind journey. 

A slow sigh falls through his nostrils and eyes finally peel away from the tips of his shoes towards where the prince sat. The soft sound of the biscuits being chewed upon rings in his ears. There’s a faint smile that curls at the edges of his lips, not knowing what to expect in the prince’s answer. Even if it’s hypothetical, even if it would never happen, he was curious. It would be a story in the making, of how a prince left his country, to journey on his own and discover himself, learn about love, learn about life. By his side, his devoted servant, who was more than enamored ; he was love struck. But a secret among secrets, locked in the deepest parts of his heart. 

[epigrvm]

❥     𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂   𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒   𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌   𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓   .

a  list  of  my  favorite  one  -  liners  from  the  website  pinterest  . feel  free  to  customize  as  you  wish  !

‵  perhaps  i’ll  write  a  book  of  great  shit  i’ve  done  nobody’s  ever  noticed.  ′ ‵  as  god  as  my  witness,  i  will  never  be  a  victim  again.  ′ ‵  i’m  becoming  less  interesting.  the  world  is  noticing  and  so  are  you.  ′ ‵  you  are  such  a  soft  and  messy  thing.  nobody  knows  how  to  take  care  of  you.  ′ ‵  with  each  passing  day  i  can  feel  my  potential  melting  away  into  nothing.  ′ ‵  everyone  thinks  i’ve  gotten  better.  i  haven’t.  i’ve  just  gotten  better  at  hiding  it.  ′ ‵  i  haven’t  felt  real  in  a  long  time.  ′ ‵  i  told  my  therapist  about  you.  ′ ‵  and  i’m  plagued  by  childhood  traumas.  ′ ‵  you  don’t  need  a  reason  to  save  people.  ′ ‵  and  here  you  are  living  despite  it  all.  ′ ‵  i  can  do  this  .  and  even  if  i  can’t  ,  i  have  to.  ′ ‵  i’m  afraid  of  what  i’ve  become.  ′ ‵  i’ll  do  this  my  way.  ′ ‵  you’ll  be  just  like  your  father.  ′ ‵  i  wanted  to  write  down  exactly  what  i  felt  but  somehow  the  paper  stayed  empty.  i  could  not  have  described  it  any  better.  ′ ‵  sometimes  i  have  a  way  with  words  —  sometimes  words  have  their  way  with  me.  ′ ‵  some  days,  i  feel  everything  at  once.  other  days,  i  feel  nothing  at  all.  i  don’t  know  what’s  worse;  drowning  beneath  waves  or  dying  from  the  thirst.  ′ ‵  don’t  promise  to  live  forever,  promise  to  forever  live  while  you’re  alive.  ′ ‵  you  wear  the  kind  of  smile  that  would  be  cruel  not  to  kiss.  ′ ‵  in  your  hesitation  i  found  my  answer.  ′ ‵  thinking  of  you  is  a  poison  i  drink  often.  ′ ‵  flowers  will  grow  from  by  bones.  ′ ‵  if  i  can  still  breathe,  i’m  fine.  ′ ‵  you  already  know  how  this  will  end.  ′ ‵  who  am  i?  ′ ‵  i  fought  the  war  but  the  war  won.  ′ ‵  we’ll  never  be  those  kids  again.  ′ ‵  they  made  you  into  a  weapon  and  told  you  to  find  peace.  ′ ‵  they  know  you  walk  like  a  god  —  they  can’t  believe  i  made  you  weak.  ′ ‵  a  scar  means  i  survived.  ′ ‵  i  was  not  made  to  be  subtle.  ′ ‵  my  purpose  is  greater  than  my  pain.  ′ ‵  you  will  not  choke  the  divine  from  me.  i  am  my  own  god  and  martyr.  ′

[epigrvm]

❛  jaehwan .

　　　　　　　　A playful tsk and a roll of his eyes and the younger offers him a small smile ― he knows, sangcheol was mad at him, he deserved to be ignored, well, maybe not deserved, things could of been handled better from both parties and perhaps… it would be mature to actually talk about it, to express why they felt the way they did, well, jaehwan especially wanted to know the brunettes’ reasons ( just as the other wanted to know his. ) maybe they should rule out that it didn’t have to be the last person who texts isn’t the one that doesn’t reply again, it wasn’t clingy, jaehwan didn’t think so anyway. ❝it’s fine, you were busy, with other priorities, I shouldn’t of just called you and expected everything to be peachy when obviously that wasn’t going to be the case, but if you think ‘m not gonna lose my shit the next time you just hang up on me like that again, you’ve got another thing coming, buddy.❞ he tries to sound firm, but his tone ends in more of a playful tune then it does serious. there was just something about being angry at the older male that just didn’t sit well with him, could he ever? he forgave so quickly that it seemed impossible. 

　　　　　　　　When the gaps of their fingers close and he holds onto sangcheols hand just as he does the same for him, jaehwans’ eyes search the the bassists’ features. ❝no roommate, its’ already late, obviously they have been places to be.❞ a half-hearted smile is offered before he continues. ❝so i think, you should stay, because i want you to.❞ theres’ a pause and then a blurt of honesty. ❝I don’t want you to go anywhere.❞ he doesn’t expect any mushy or cheesy line, he wouldn’t care if there was anyway but silence is fine by him too ― sangcheol was here and its’ been quite some time since they were together, they had catching up to do and overall, just alot of talking to do, shall he mention making out too. the vibration catches his attention and his eyes trail down, between them. if he allowed his dirty mind to take advantage of his next words, it sure wouldn’t be a phone that he’d comment on. raising his gaze to return his eye contact with sangcheol, he purses his lips, surprised really, he wasn’t going to get that? surely it was a friend in concern or wanting him to come back, was jaehwan really worth missing out on something that could possibly be more entertaining?

　　　　　　　　❝so,❞ he starts, surprised at himself for not diving back in to kiss the other male. ❝you want a drink? watch a movie? have you eaten yet? I can make some instant noodles if you want. yknow i make the best.❞ a joke really, it was instant noodles after all, nothing he did was better than someone else making it but he liked to be confident over anything he did in the kitchen.

                  《 🎸 》    IF THERE WAS a perfect time to play that one song by Sam Smith, it would certainly be now. He bites his tongue and holds it in to not break out in song, to not sing the other male’s ear off since that wasn’t what he was here for tonight. If, perhaps, he wanted to sing, he would do so later, when they’re in bed wrapped in each other’s arms. For now, he’ll hold off, save it for later. Right now, he’s allowed to stay and that should be the only thing that consumes his thoughts. Tonight, he’ll be in Jaehwan’s arms or Jaehwan would be in his. A relieved smile curls at the edges of his lips and a small squeeze is offered to the mint-haired male’s hand. 

❝  Tch. Instant noodles huh ? Only the finest instant noodles for me, then. Maybe add a little egg in there too if you’re serious.  ❞ Lips press tightly together before he’s laughing. His first genuine laugh of the night, shared with the other male. Majority had been fake in the presence of other people, but with Jaehwan, it was always real.  ❝  Legit though, I could use some water and maybe we can watch a movie too. Kinda thirsty after racing out of the venue to come here.  ❞ He’s glad he didn’t do anything stupid either. Like get piss drunk and make out with some random girl because he was so caught up in his emotions earlier. Waking up in the morning with that sort of regret would kill him. Kill them both actually.  Fingers unravel from the other’s, arms now lifting upwards to wrap around the other’s shoulders to pull their bodies closer to embrace him fully. The bassist just wanted to hold him and he knows he’ll be able to for the remainder of the night, but right now, in this moment, that’s all he wanted to do. To let the other male know just how sorry he was for not being a better communicator and for not expressing how he truly felt. The silent treatment only ate away at him and he could only imagine what it must have felt for Jaehwan. What’s done has been done, though, and the only way they can move forward was by learning from this experience, owning up to their mistakes and doing better next time. It’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything. But it felt like one. His band mates had told him countless times that he owed nothing to Jaehwan. There was no obligation to him since they weren’t exactly exclusive. What if I want to be, though ?  ❝  I really did miss you though. A lot.  ❞ 

[epigrvm]

❛  judy .

         Maybe it was her mermaid self which made her a little more empathic than a normal human being – she wasn’t too sure. Back where she came from, Judith was mostly known as someone a little too playful and rude due to her loud mouth. Her younger brother Jaden was completely different and more what was accepted and welcomed: someone very polite and always friendly, smiling twenty-four seven. But here it was a little different or she has matured. Sangmi’s silence was worrying her. A soft frown appeared on her facial expression the more Sangmi talked about the issue that was bothering her. Family could be such a wonderful thing but at the same time it could cause so many problems. Judith knew what it could mean when you are not on great terms with everyone in your family.  ❝ Is your family accepting your partner? Just asking because that can always become a whole drama. ❞  She knew this from her youngest brother who was attracted to men and their father was not having it.  ❝ Are you…willing to share what happened with your mother? You don’t have to though. ❞

                   《 🌼》    SANGMI’S MOTHER had no knowledge of her life after that whole incident. They never spoke, never interacted. There was a time when she even actively avoided certain areas knowing well that her mother would probably venture there, or there could be that off chance she might show face. No risks. Maybe that forced the distance to grow even further and further. But maybe Sangmi just gave up all together and didn’t want to try anymore after being so exhausted by it all. Healthy relationships with family, friends or lovers weren’t supposed to be exhausting.  ❝  The only people who know about my girlfriend would be my sister and her husband. My parents, my extended family have no knowledge of her.  ❞ Originally, the young woman had intended to keep it that way. As much as any child would want approval and blessings of their parents for the person they loved romantically, in this situation, Sangmi wanted to distance herself from her parents as much as possible and keep Yoonji away from the chaos that was her kin. But now, at the request of her sister, she couldn’t very much say no, could she ? 

Fingers toy with the edge of her shirt, twisting it between her digits while chewing on her lower tier.  ❝  My mum has never truly accepted me. Always belittling me by saying what a failure I’ve become. Even after all of my accomplishments, it still wasn’t enough. We got into a nasty fight a few years ago and I just walked out. I couldn’t take it anymore. That same night she told me she had no daughter and I shouldn’t ever return. I haven’t since. I —— I never saw a need to . . . ❞

[epigrvm]

❛  jaehwan .

　　　　　　　　Dropping the blooded cottons in the trash, jaehwan is making his way towards where they had the dust pan was, something that the other male should of grabbed if he was going to clean up the broken glass but he couldn’t blame him, with alcohol being in his system, there’s no doubt about why he didn’t think more clearly on things. his head turns to look towards the mess, analysing how many pieces of broken glass there was, where exactly they were scattered, he’s so focused on how much he’d be cleaning up along with the liquor currently staining the polished floor that he hadn’t noticed sangcheol approaching him. breaking out of his concentration, his LED blinks a shade of yellow, startled and what was even more startling was the way sangcheols’ hand comes up, with a gentle fingers brush under his chin and gently tilts it to look up at him. his eyes flutter, focusing on the males’ facial features. it startles him even more when the male leans in closer and jaehwans’ head pulls back slightly only for him to move in, but nothing happens. 

　　　　　　　　He stares, sangcheols’ drunk, anything could happen at this point, and he was trying to progress what exactly that was but as soon as he relaxes into the hold, the male is pulling away, breaking away from their inches away from one anothers faces. he feels the little ruffle, not even flinching to fix the strands that now messily sat on top of his head, eyes stare straight ahead as his owner walks by him, thanking him for helping him with the wound. jaehwans’ LED still momentarily blinks, he doesn’t understand what just happened but soon the edge of a uneasy feeling disappears and he gives a small nod before processing over towards the dust pan to which he opens the cabinet to take out.❝of course, sangcheol.❞ he finally replies as he walks towards the mess that was made but none other than the human that lives in the penthouse. bending down, jaehwan begins to sweep up the mess, the shards of glass making little noises as it clutters together and against the wooden fool, sweeping it into the pan, he leans forward, on his knees, making sure to pick up every little shard, not wanting sangcheol to hurt himself again.

　　　　　　　　Trying to not think of what just happened, the android stands to his feet as soon as he’s done, emptying the broken glass into the bin before settling it down on the counter. he’ll have to mop up the rest of the liquor that was spilt however, he turns to the male, offering a small smile. ❝you should.. rest for tonight. it’s getting late and you have to be up early in the morning, for work.❞ he reminds him, wanting his owner to get a good nights rest, especially after it seemed he was extremely stressed today.

                  《 💼 》     THE CORPORATE counselor pinches the space between his brows with forefinger and thumb as his injured hand settles on the counter. He can see the blood seeping through every so slowly, the alcohol being the cause for why the crimson fails to cease flowing. Sangcheol’s head feels lighter than normal, certainly couldn’t be due to the intoxicating liquor, but rather a mixture of blood loss as well. Deep pools of brown are sealed away behind his lids as they close, enclosed in darkness for a moment, or so he tells himself. Concealed away, embraced by the dark, the brunette see’s the image of the android and the scenario from just a few moments ago replays in his head. A brow twitches, features contorting into some slight discomfort and he’s flutter lids open again. 

❝  Mm . . . perhaps you’re right. It’s been a long day.  ❞ Too long. Despite saying that and agreeing with Jaehwan’s words, he doubts he can stand up at the moment. His body still felt like he would tip over, stumble and fall and possibly make even more of an ass of himself and injure himself. Already a finger was cut open by a shard of glass. No need for a full on concussion. Or even half of a concussion.  Slowly, Sangcheol breathes out, shutting his eyes once again. Just as his eyes shut, the male’s head gradually settles over his arm that’s resting against the cold tile of the counter. This feels nice. He relishes in the coolness of the counter for a moment, counteracting the heat from the alcohol that had turned the apples of his cheeks a hue of pink. Another even breath and chocolate orbs are revealed once again. Beneath the fan of dark lashes, his eyes find where Jaehwan was, watching the android’s every movement. The rhythmic and smooth motion of sweeping the shards away to mopping up the absolute mess he had made. The brunette was grateful for the other. More than his sober self would admit at times.  Without shame and without proper thinking, lips part to speak.  ❝  Sleep with me tonight. Rest with me, Jaehwan.  ❞ It was almost hushed, almost mumbled. Drowsiness from alcohol and his fresh wound was taking over his body. Eyelids are hidden again, this time he kept them close. The ache was coming back.

[epigrvm]

❛  ianthina .

「 ♡ 」 ━ *┊ muse : ianthina ( continuation  )  @epigrvm

                  worried   was not the correct term to describe what she felt when sangcheol dropped the bomb on her .  ian was    terrified    for her friend .  the path he was thinking of walking down was one that would be difficult to handle .  although his statements were valid and she understood what he meant .  there was so many dangers that came with the powers he held . ❛    really think about this , cheol .  and if really thought about it , think about it some more because , once you do this .  it’s a beacon you will not be able to turn off .   ❜     once he fully    acknowledged      what he had  —   his aura would be a beacon for everything undead and when the shadows .  tormented and tortured souls would latch to him .  feed    of his energy and pester his life .  as much as ian would love to help  ;  it wasn’t something she could meddle completely in .  which was why she wanted him to change his mind .   ❛    i’m not trying to scare you , cheol because i am already sure you know all this but , you’ll be more in danger .   ❜   and that was the last thing she wanted for him .  he was family   , one of her best friends .  he had been through a lot with her and their favorite duo but  ;  his would be him going in     a l o n e      and it sent shivers down her bones . 

❛   once you full acknowledge them ; you won’t be able to go back .  are you completely positive this is something you really want to do ?   ❜  

                    《 ※ 》     PERHAPS HE WAS taking this rather a little too lightly. He was, after all, still a very much a human being. Sangcheol didn’t have the abilities of rapid regeneration. He didn’t have anything that would allow him to return as some sort of phoenix. Once he’s injured or worse, dead, then it was over. The male was aware of that. More than anything, he was aware of the dangers that this would impose on his life. There was no turning back if he decided to venture forth and basically decide his own fate at that point. But was he just to sit idly by and cast a blind eye to his unique ability ? There was no use in pretending he couldn’t see what he could. There was no use in forcing himself to have tunnel vision, to avoid the spirits he had seen roaming the human plane.  An long, drawn out sigh leaves his lungs, shoulders slump while his brown hues cast down towards the space, the distance that was between them. Sangcheol knows she means well. She was wise. She was intuitive. Most times she knew best. And yet —   ❝  I — I’m just tired of hiding and pretending that this — this gift doesn’t exist. I want to do something with it. I want to do more than just ignore it. If not acknowledging that it’s what I have to live with for the rest of my life and do something with it, then what ? What other options can you offer me ? ❞

[epigrvm]

❛  hyejung .

(sms) are you?

——– 

there’s a slight pause, not knowing what to text him back yet since she had to take it in. someone was proud of her- at least she knew she was doing something right. she smiles, texting him back after having her thoughts.

(sms) pure as gold.. funny, funny. i’ll accept the compliment though (sms) i hope they do >.> talking about moms, i missed mine. (sms) nooo. please, i’m horrible at rapping. i can barely write well.  (sms) blue monkeys bar… is that.. like a bar? to like go to or?

﹤ sms  ⇢  hyejung ﹥ absolutely, hye. why would i not be ? ﹤ sms  ⇢  hyejung ﹥ always gonna be proud of you and your accomplishments. ﹤ sms  ⇢  hyejung ﹥ but ahh . . . would you wanna go pay her a visit sometime soon ? ﹤ sms  ⇢  hyejung ﹥ i could take some time out and go visit my grandfather too. Sangcheol’s fingers halt briefly, reminiscing the last time he had paid his grandfather a visit. The conversation he had, the stories he told — how sorely he missed him. A slow exhalation escapes him and his attention returns to the phone held in his hand. Thumbs resume stroking across the touchscreen keyboard. ﹤ sms  ⇢  hyejung ﹥ yeah, it’s a legit bar bar to go to. for drinks and shit. 

[epigrvm]

❛  jaehwan .

　　　　　　　　He’s more than aware of the thrill that sangcheol had from doing this sort of thing ― he’s heard stories about the times he went tagging, that it was enjoyable to express himself through spray cans, he of course, doesn’t own that type of thrill. as a person who was happier staying coped up in the solitary of his home, finding something more calming and quiet to do rather than having to be prepared for that run, that feeling that’ll leave him breathless, have the heart pounding in his chest. there was no enjoyment towards it but to say the least, he did find it attractive that the older male liked to express himself that much to take a risk of possibly being caught ( doesn’t mean he wouldn’t smack him over the head and be upset with him if he did actually get caught though ) he’s calming down from the whole situation they were in though, it helps as he leans against his lover, finally breathing at a steady pace than the heavy heaving of his chest. hopefully they were safe, hopefully no one cared THAT much to spot the two men and call them out to being the ones’ entering a private area.

　　　　　　　　❝it’s okay, it doesn’t matter anymore.. right? we’re fine so.. not like we’re currently standing behind bars with a fine on our ass to have to pay off.❞ that thought alone made him feel worried, what would they do? suddenly having a track record of being a criminal due to vandalism. his brows pinch inwards, eyes focused on the road, its’ empty, theres’ a couple of cars parked on the side but other than that there wasn’t anyone here or any cars actually passing by. ❝’m okay, you’re okay.. that’s all that matters, yeah baby?❞ a smile is offered as the younger male tilts his head to look up at sangcheol. he was trying to stay positive, there was no point in being negative or even angry at the older male for not being more careful and getting them where they currently are, he wasn’t the type of person to try and make his lover feel bad, there was always a end solution anyway ― just make it up to me when we get home, is what he thinks, is what the older male already knows would be his way for true, deep forgiveness. 

　　　　　　　　Turning around, his arms slide around the middle of his waist, face burying into curve of his shoulder and neck, never failing to be affectionate even in public eye. ❝d’you think you’re still as skilful as you were when you used to do this? or was it just cause i was here slowing you down today?❞

                    《 ※ 》     LIPS PRESS TIGHTLY together as both arms lift to drape over his lover’s shoulders limply. A small hum leaves tightly pursed tiers, contemplating what the real reason was. Perhaps he had become less skillful than what he was before. It’s like anything really. If a certain skill isn’t practiced on for some time, a person either forgets it or becomes rusty.  ❝  A bit of both, honestly,  ❞ he finally responds. Slowing him down wasn’t necessarily a terrible thing, but he was keeping an eye out for his boyfriend throughout that whole incident. He was also quite unpracticed. Typically it would be smooth for him to just escape without fear, be stealthy enough where he most likely wouldn’t be found. His parkour skills were certainly not like what they used to be and there was no one to blame other than himself. Jaehwan had nothing to do with it.  ❝  I think it’s mostly because I haven’t done it in awhile so I kind of lost all that. But definitely had muscle memory. My body wanted me to go and move a certain way so I went with it.  ❞ A slow breath escapes him, chin now resting atop of his boyfriend’s bed of lightened hair. Nostalgia reels him back in and he’s remembering when he used to do this with one of his close friends. How they always messed around, talked about dumb, idiotic things while tagging up abandoned places. He had a tag name, one that he almost forgot about since it hadn’t been used in awhile. Some people, from what he’s heard around the streets, knew of the name, knew of his style. Those were good times, but maybe just maybe it was time to retire from that sort of life. Maybe he should do murals instead. 

Chocolate hues shift towards the end of the street again, watching to see if a car happened to appear in the distance. A few minutes had passed by already and still no sign of their ride. It was fine, though. If they were absolutely clear, then they had nothing to worry about and Sangcheol was certainly not worried. They came a long way from where they were, ran quite far. We should be fine. ❝  D’ya ever think you’d end up with someone who does this sort of stuff, babe ? Probably not the kind of thrill you’re lookin` for huh ?  ❞ His gaze shifts, peering beneath long lashes at the top of Jaehwan’s head, offering a light nose chuckle to lighten up the mood a little more. 

[epigrvm]

❛  jaehwan .

　　　　　　　　His days to say the least, were always pleasant ― though admittedly, they were even better when sangcheol would come home from work. the male didn’t always communicate with him, but there was something that made him feel a sort of happiness knowing his human was home, in the comforts of his work office, lounge room or bedroom even. it made him feel a sense of security that sangcheol was safe and he didn’t need to gain worry for if he was going to come home stumbling over everything, drunk. he could just drink the night away at home. which in his eyes, was a better option. lips curl into a gentle smile as he admires the other male as he soaks in the bath tub ― after the first mishap, he never knew he’d be in this position, standing in the bathroom as the other was stark naked even if enveloped by water. endearing, indeed it was to hold a conversation while his owner was in the middle of a relaxation session.

　　　　　　　　As the confirmation of needing nothing more, jaehwan is about to turn on his heels and take his leave. it was enjoyable while it lasted, he’d admit later on but the following question has his body still ― like a puppy, the androids’ head tilts to the side, staring at his owner curiously. did sangcheol mistaken his words? but the look on his face seems to be expecting of some sort for jaehwan to answer such a peculiar question, his LED flickers a shade of yellow momentarily, indicating the progress of the question before he relaxes after thinking of a response to give his owner. ❝maybe.. if you’re not too busy after your bath..❞ he seems unsure of what he’s about to announce, knowing how sangcheol would probably wish to go back to work and ignore the android all together, theres’ a sort of hesitation to mention what he wanted, did he even know what he wanted? ❝we can converse more and if you want. go.. somewhere..❞

　　　　　　　　Looking at the other, theres’ a quick shift in his eyes, it wouldn’t matter if sangcheol said no. he was a busy man and besides, he wasn’t here to become the males’ friend but it would be nice to talk more to him, about anything. he’d listen and to go somewhere, anywhere, even for a walk, something about the thought of doing that was exciting. ❝but, I understand if you wish not to. as long as you’re enjoying your relaxation and bath as of right now, I am happy.❞ he adds, looking back at sangcheol with a smile forming on his sweet pinkish plush lips.

                    《 💼 》     BROWS ARCH, lips slightly agape at Jaehwan’s request. Go somewhere. Hm. That didn’t sound like a bad idea. He could use a little change in scenery. Staring at his bookcases stacked high in books and files, the contents on his laptop, it can all get rather droll. Actually venturing out from his usual comfort could definitely be the change he’s been needing  (  aside from his android of course  ). The counselor’s features relax, softening while gradually sinking a little further into the bath that had been drawn to the right temperature and amount by the other. ❝  Sure. We can go somewhere afterwards. Could you please pick something out for me while I’m finishing up my bath ? Nothing formal, whatever you think is appropriate for venturing out at night for a nice stroll and maybe a drink.  ❞ If he were honest with himself, the brunette had gotten so used to wearing business and business casual attire, he didn’t really know how to dress any other way.  After relieving the android from his presence, Sangcheol resumes bathing — cleaning his body and washing his hair. He had considered blow-drying his hair and slipping into house clothes and finding refuge in his work office, but he had different plans tonight. Surprisingly, he was looking forward to it. All the while he was busy cleaning himself, the smile adorning his features never left. 

Once done, he stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel wrapped securely around his hips and one draped over his shoulders while rustling his damp locks dry. Legs take him towards the entrance to his bed chambers. Occupied eyes seek out the familiar face and familiar frame of the other male that occupied his home. What had he picked out for him to wear ? Did he pick something that was different or had he grown so accustomed to what Sangcheol wore that he chose similar garbs to what he wore to work ? The thought made the brunette chuckle quietly to himself. The image of a perplexed android trying to process just what had been requested of him. It was rather cute  —  at least the image in his mind was.