entraum

[entraum]

moving isaac to a multi. tba. 

[entraum]

coyoted​.

     ‘     —–alright, i’m in.     ’    one date couldn’t hurt.    even if they are just friends….kind of.

        there’s no need to try and hide any hint of nervousness — that’s already been outed if she’s paying even an ounce of attention to his heart rate.        “ great — right then.  so . . . tonight? ”      he hadn’t thought this through past the initial question,  which he had assumed would get shot down instantly.      “ maybe we could,  uh — go somewhere nice-ish . . . for a change. ”     and no,  that doesn’t include olive garden and loading up on free breadsticks.

[entraum]

@coyoted​ cont from ( x )

        “ —— do you know me?   of course there’ll be food. ”        likely an entire feast for good measure,  he just hadn’t decided on what.      “ . . . . so that’s a yes,  then? ” 

[entraum]

mieczlw​.

head tilts back at the feeling of the other’s finger between his cheeks.  were it anyone else,  he’d protest it completely,  push the hand away and scold silently.  but stiles gives him something new,  something fresh here.  the touch is welcomed,  encouraged even,  and he leans into it with a soft gasp if only in the surprise that it’s happening at all.      “ what are you — ”      isaac pauses his motions,  if only in a momentary lapse of disbelief. “ oh fuck — ”    he groans gently,  growl deepening and another flash of the golden yellow of his eyes at the touch of stiles’ finger.  but after a moment he leans into it all the more;  if he didn’t know better,  isaac might think that he were the one about to get fucked.  he strokes with ease again,  picking up his rhythm all the more as he leans in,  his own cock pressed against stiles’  as his hands work them both with ease. “ well it’s not from practise with anyone else. ”      his lips turn in a smirk,  a grin that stifles his own noises as he continues to roll his hips against stiles.  hand pulls away from his own cock,  dragging up instead up stiles’ chest as he plants his lips against the other’s in a sloppy kiss.  his fingers trace up against stiles’ jaw,  and he breaks his lips away,  instead pushing two fingers into stiles’ mouth,  other hand continuing to gently work at stroking his cock.      “ and if i weren’t so desperate to fuck you,  i’d let you keep going. ”        he doesn’t tease for long before dragging his fingers away,  gaze locked on his boyfriend’s as he pulls away enough that he can hesitantly nudge stiles’ hand away,  reaching his own fingers around and between his cheeks.  his turn now.  he presses gently with one finger,  soft growl in his throat as he slips inside,  lips leaning back in to kiss at his jaw .

[entraum]

mieczlw​.

it’s  funny ,   even  now  after  all  this  time ,  stiles  still  finds  himself  bewildered  at  how  he  and  isaac  evolved  to  this.  and  how  everything  shifted  without  their  knowledge.   he  used  to  despise  isaac  and  yet  now ,  all  he  wants  is  to  be  close  to  him ,  in  any  way  that  he  can  get   ;   it’s  just  a  happy  coincidence  that  it’s  usually  in  a  manner  such  as  this.   with  isaac  and  himself  both  yearning  for  each  other.  

isaac’s  hips  roll  and  stiles’  hand ,  that  is  now  curled  around  his  boyfriend’s  dick  lets  a  thumb  brush  ever  so  gently  across  the  head ,  before  he  gives  a  soft  pump  of  his  hand.  he  has  to  let  go  to  allow  his  shirt  to  be  removed  but  that’s  okay ,  it  wont  be  long  until  he  has  his  hands  on  his  again.   hips  are  pulled  against  his  own  and  stiles  pushes  his  hips  against  isaac’s ,  chasing  a  friction  he  knows  they  both  need.  

“   i  want  you  to  fuck  me  wherever  you  please.   “  he  whispers ,  low  and  taunting.  he  wets  his  lips  and  grins  up  at  the  taller  one ,  hazel  eyes  now  almost  black  with  how  his  pupils  have  grown.   he’s  needy ,  he’s  always  needy  but  right  now  he  would  take  literally  anything.  “   the  wall  …   the  table  …    hell ,  fuck  me  right  here  on  the  floor  i  don’t  care.   what  i  want ,  isaac ,  is  to  feel  you  inside  me.   “   

the  hands  that  rest  on  his  boyfriends  hips  push  into  the  back  of  his  pants  now  and  grab  a  hold  of  his  ass ,  a  plentyful  amount  in  both  of  his  palms.  kneading  the  flesh  he  rolls  both  cheeks  in  his  hands  before  finally  making  a  move  to  push  trousers  down  his  boyfriend’s  legs.   he  leaves  on  the  underwear ,  for  now  but  that  doesn’t  stop  him  from  eyeing  the  impressive  tent  that  shows  in  the  front ,  causing  stiles  to  lick  his  lips  as  his  mouth  begins  to  water  with  the  need  to  be  around  it.  

isaac can feel  the low growl in his throat,  the way he yearns for more,  and dear god stiles doesn’t help with his hand on his dick.  hips lean into the touch involuntarily,  wanting more with each passing second.  the words uttered from the other only amplify that need,  and he pulls back,  if only enough so that he can stare down into those whiskey eyes,  his own flashing a momentary shade of gold with desire.  he can’t help but grinning,  breathing him in,  fingers digging in to grip onto his ass.  his response is a deeper growl,  a harder touch,  a silent promise that he intends to keep.  his breath comes out as an exhale,  softer groan,  and suddenly the rest of the evening,  the party and all,  is lost to him.  if someone were to walk in,  he wouldn’t even care ( in fact ... the thought is almost more of a turn on ).  he’s quick to help with moving his legs in order to get trousers off,  kicking them away as he stares down at stiles.  his fingers drag up the other’s skin,  hands moving to mirror the other’s move,  tugging his trousers down.  his hand wraps around stiles’s dick,  his own gaze bordering on desperation as he gently,  slowly tugs at him,  recognizing the same look in the other’s face.      “ floor then,  sure.    fuck,  stiles — ”      hips press harder against stiles in an involuntary twitch of desire,  the need only growing by the second as he leans his lips back in to press against his boyfriend’s for a brief kiss.      “ i wanna be inside of you. ”      his words are almost a whisper,  and he pulls his own hands away from stiles only so that he can push his underwear down,  past his obvious arousal,  and kicks them away.  One hand wraps around his own cock instead with a soft exhale,  the other finding its way back to stiles’ and continuing where he’d left off.

[entraum]

HE     WAS     A      𝐓𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐌     ,       AND     PEOPLE      𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙴𝙳  𝙼𝙴     NOT     TO     PLAY    WITH     HIM.   BUT     I     HAD     ALWAYS      𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃     THE     RAIN.

[entraum]

i have had a very fucking rough week. sorry for being quiet here and elsewhere. i hopefully will be able to be around this weekend a bit. thanks.

[entraum]

ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ  ɴᴏ ᴛᴜʀɴɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ,  ɪᴛ'ꜱ  ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴛᴇᴇʀ.  ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪᴅᴇ ᴏᴘᴇɴ  ꜱᴛᴀʀᴇꜱ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜꜱᴘ. ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏꜱᴛ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʜɪɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ᴡᴇʟʟ ɪɴᴛᴏ ʀᴜꜱᴛ. ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ, ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ꜱᴀʏ ——

—— 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 

𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔪𝔬 𝔠𝔯𝔢𝔡 !

[entraum]

But what's your favorite thing about Isaac?

what  was  his  favorite  thing  about  isaac   ?   he’d  never  really  sat  and  thought  about  it  before.  he  enjoyed  everything  about  him ,  even  the  parts  that  isaac  himself  didn’t  really  like.   

if  he  thinks  about  it ,  the  list  is  going  to  be  long.   from  the  way  he  eats  his  cereal  to  how  he  sleeps  at  night  ;   it’s  all  kind  of  rolled  into  one  giant  ball  of  isaac  lahey. like  the  way  that  he  can  make  him  laugh  with  the  most  simple  of  things  or  how  he  can  make  him  angry  at  the  flick  of  a  switch.  how  he’s  not  afraid  to  be  vulnerable  around  him  now  and  really  lets  him  in.  

but  if  he  had  to  pick  only  one ,  it  would  be  how  they  were  able  to  evolve  into  this  new  dynamic ,  one  in  which  isaac  makes  him  feel  truly  safe  and  loved.  they  still  have  their  banter  but  that’s  all  it  is  now ,  banter   :    no  more  childish  hatred  that  they  were  holding  onto  from  their  past.   just  an  admiration  and  trust  for  each  other.  

yeah ,  that’s  probably  it. 

his  favorite  thing  about  isaac  lahey  is  that  he  loves  him  with  all  that  he  has.

(     ‘     @entraum     ‘     ) 

[entraum]

i want to write more but i’m not feeling too great right now?  gonna relax for a while and maybe make icons and try again later. 

[entraum]

People always ask if your trauma changed you but I was young, I don’t know who I was before my trauma. I don’t know who I would’ve been without it and I never will know.

[entraum]

@mieczlw​ asked: “I think we should talk about the sexual tension.”

           “  ... Why talk about it? ”     After all,  haven’t they been talking enough?  Between talks and glances,  he’s tired of the tension.  No more playing around or sideways glances.  Hesitation gone,  he closes the space between them and presses his lips to Stiles’s.  Having thought about it has nothing on actually doing it.  There’s no other way to describe it:  he melts into the kiss,  softening against the heat of the other.  Head feels like it’s underwater and he can’t think or process any other sounds around them until he can tear his lips from Stiles and the quiet sounds of the night start to leak their way back in.      “ Tell me to stop if you want. ”

[entraum]

@lionveincd​ asked: “As weird as this place is during the day, it’s even worse at night.”

     Brows raise,  looking over the other with gentle curiosity,  as the idea that maybe he should just leave the topic alone surfaces.  But why would he do that?     “ What? You do a lot of night lurking around here?  Maybe it’s just you that makes it weird. ” 

[entraum]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ SCRUBS / 2.01 –– 2.04 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

“Call it wishful thinking, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was nothing more than a very, very bad dream.”

“Why are you so cranky in the mornings?”

“I can’t remember the last time I was in this foul a mood.”

“Is that supposed to cheer me up?”

“I hate it that everything’s so messed up between all of us.”

“I just wish one of my relationships could be back to normal.”

“I put my underwear in the microwave to dry them and they feel good.”

“I’ve been thinking about all the times you’ve manipulated me and toyed with me, and I can’t help but recall that children’s fable about the race between the tortoise and the pain in the ass that everybody hates.”

“It’s a disturbing children’s book, but it’s one that’s stuck with me.”

“That’s the sound of all the bees in your bonnet.”

“You can’t drop this on me and expect me to make it a priority.”

“I was wrong to talk behind your back, which is a violation of the trust our relationship is based on.”

“It’s gotten awkward with this guy I’m seeing.”

“I planned to avoid him all day, but I needed his help.”

“What kind of man tortures people like this?”

“I think we should sex each other.”

“Our relationship ended so quickly, and now there’s these feelings floating around and I feel like we’ll always regret it if we don’t see if they lead somewhere.”

“He wasn’t yelling at me like he used to because he didn’t care about me anymore.”

“I couldn’t help thinking about the way things used to be.”

“Everyone was just drifting, each one of us acting like the others didn’t exist.”

“I think we should talk about the sexual tension.”

“You’re not in love, you idolize me.”

“You’re mad because I’m scared of losing you?”

“I never took you for granted.”

“I’ve killed for much less than that.”

“I’ll do it again unless you all shut up now.”

“Are you planning on making this worth my while?”

“Sometimes when you do nothing at all, things just have a way of fixing themselves.”

“You were in my dream, and I can’t so for certain but I was having the flesh torn from my bones by a cross-eyed water snake.”

“There’s nothing like the feeling of taking charge of a situation.”

“That was kind of demeaning.”

“I’m gonna politely tell you to blow it out your ass.”

“I make it a rule to never get in bed with people that I have nothing but contempt for.”

“Next time we talk, maybe I could finish a sentence or two.”

“I don’t want to hear your misguided romantic notions.”

“Sex is a sport, like racquetball.”

“It’s impossible to actually lie next to her seeing as she sleeps hanging upside down from the ceiling wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.”

“As weird as this place is during the day, it’s even worse at night.”

“It’s disturbing how obsessed you are with your butt.”

“You can do your victory dance or slaughter a goat or whatever it is you do when you’re happy.”

“This is pointless, angry, shallow sex.”

“Why would you go and ruin something like that?”

“I’m real sorry, but that’s not enough for me anymore.”

“I have feelings for you but unlike you I have some balls.”

“I can’t let you back into my life and watch you personally and professional sabotage every single chance you get.”

“What do you want me to do to prove I’m not that guy anymore?”

“Sometimes just making a decision is half the battle.”

“Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy.”

“I need you to quiet the hell down.”

“If I were younger and tipsy, this might be your lucky day.”

“I can’t do your work for you.”

“Leave this instant, this second, this moment.”

“We have a lot in common, like having a hard time digesting dairy.”

“I don’t know why you’re trying to force this.”

“Tomorrow’s gonna be a better day for everyone.”

“You’re stuck on your first impression, that I am some spoiled brat.”

“I don’t always say the right thing.”

“I only have things in common with nice people.”

“Around here, life can be full of surprises.”

“I decided I could have my cake and eat it, too.”

“I could do naughty things to that man.”

“I’ve been self-conscious my whole life and finally got the courage.”

“If you were to change one thing about my appearance, what would it be?”

“If I were to be really honest with myself, I would change everything.”

“Are all women this crazy?”

“How about you help me out and I won’t tell anybody about this?”

“I wanna be like you, but a more successful you.”

“I like to think your life comes down to the choices you’ve made.”

“In the end, you have to trust your decisions.”

“You’ll need a tinfoil hat to hold in all your thoughts.”

“The greatest thing about her is I always know I can count on her to be the bad cop.”

“If you don’t listen to them, you’re gonna have to answer to me.”

“I guess after awhile you just stop being surprised by people.”

“How come I know nothing about your family?”

“I’m not big on sharing my personal life with people.”

“Women are masters of every style of combat.”

“I’m in a mood, so it’s probably in your best interest to make up some lame excuse and leave.”

“I will not be spoken to like that.”

“Now you think I’m the craziest woman here.”

“I can’t believe you think I’ve got a thing for her.”

“You babbled all my crazy to the person I plan on spending the rest of my life with.”

“I told you how hard it is for me to let my guard down.”

“I was hoping that we can use this as an opportunity to repair our relationship.”

“I never meant to insinuate you guys were stupid.”

“Everyone knows you’re a hundred times smarter than the jackasses that run this place.”

“It wouldn’t hurt you to cut ‘em some slack once in awhile.”

“Every time you screwed up with me, I’ve let you off the hook.”

“You can keep trying to connect with me.”

“You’re so damn entertaining.”

“You might be better served if you could stop worrying so much about who does and doesn’t notice you.”

“I think every day is made up of tiny little tests.”

[entraum]

nbc’s  hannibal ( 2013 - 2015 )  pt  1 ↪  req’d  by  anon.  s01e01 - s01e06.  alter  as  you  see  fit.  trigger  warnings  for  death,  gore,  sexual  themes

“he will die watching me take what is his away from him.”

“i can empathise with anybody.”

“can i borrow your imagination?”

“he’s like willy wonka.”

“the amount of detail is incredible.”

“i would apologise for my analytical ambush, but i know i will soon be apologising again and you’ll tire of that eventually, - so i have to consider using apologies sparingly.”

“could be a permanent installation in your evil minds museum.”

“i’ve fantasised about scenarios where my actions may have allowed a different fate for [name].”

“what is that? i bet it’s marijuana.”

“i got stabbed in the third grade with a number two pencil. thought i was gonna get lead poisoning.”

“i’m very supportive of bake-offs.”

“i don’t feel sorry for myself at all. i feel, um i-i i feel, um good.”

“i guessed your size, so anything you don’t want, leave the tags on, i’ll bring it back.”

“i’m gonna be messed up, aren’t i? i’m worried about nightmares.”

“i was sort of expecting a body outline in chalk or tape.”

“i’ll tell you if i saw him if you tell me why it’s important.”

“your victimhood has a high profile.”

“i never connected to the concept.”

“the family you think is family, is just a stepping stone to real family.”

“thirteen-year-old milk carton material.”

“have you ever tried psilocybin? ‘mushrooms’?”

“i want to give you your power back.”

“a paradox in the midst of a normal family: he’s an outsider who doesn’t look like one.”

“well, i don’t think you’re gonna go home for a long time.”

“as someone who makes such a big deal about common courtesy, i’m a little taken aback.”

“think it’s too late for us to have kids?”

“at night i leave the lights on in my little house, and walk across the flat fields. when i look back from a distance the house is like a boat on the sea.”

“i had two fingers of whiskey before i went to bed.”

“vikings used to execute christians by breaking their ribs, bending them back, and draping the lungs over them to resemble wings. ttey used to call it a ‘blood eagle’.”

“your perfume is exquisite.”

“even a drunk with a flair for the dramatic can convince himself he’s god.”

“supplication is the most common form of prayer.”

“so can we have a conversation, or do you want to pretend that everything’s alright?”

“you know something - i’m very good at sorting things out, and at the very least i can underwhelm you while you’re being overwhelmed.”

“i won’t insult you by asking if there’s someone else.”

“my ears rang like the first time I heard my mom use the f-word.”

“i figured you’d be here.”

“it’s your fight, baby, but i’m in your corner.”

“i thought if i kept it to myself, our lives wouldn’t change.”

“you don’t have to say a word until you’re ready, but i’m not going anywhere until you do.”

“i cannot help feeling responsible myself for what happened.”

“i’m assuming that you’re familiar with the chesapeake ripper?”

“how wonderful to see you again.”

“um, i was just, uh, in the neighbourhood.”

“you look like you were dreaming.”

“so, are you enjoying reading my mail?”

“[name] would you care to assist me with dessert?”

“it can sometimes be brave to allow yourself hope.”

“i believe the world is a better place with [name] in it.”

“if you’ll wait here, i’ll be right back.”

[entraum]

ghostofaformerself​.

     HE’S EASY TO TALK TO, and his artistic streak reminds her of gem. isaac isn’t soft like gem was, but he’s definitely good in the same way. maybe it’s part of why she’s so inclined to spend time with him and just be.

     lips curl as she sips on a cup of coffee and watches him sketch. it’s relaxing for her and helps to keep her mind from wandering as it so often does. even after three centuries rayne sometimes finds herself trapped in memories she doesn’t want to be in. watching isaac work helps.     it’s not fair to isaac for her to draw comparisons between him and gem, but she can’t help it.

     ❝that’s the game we’re playing? really? you’re calling me old?❞ there’s nothing but mock offence and entertainment in her voice. ❝i’ll have you know i’m the hottest three-hundred-year-old you’ll ever meet, thank you.❞

     she’s done a lot of crazy things in her time, but they’re not anything like isaac. rayne’s ‘crazy’ stories are things she’d rather forget. they’re things she wishes she’d never done. too many lives ended by her hands, her actions.      head shakes. she can’t think about it for too long.

     ❝i’m a boring old person.❞ she’s not sure that’s something she can get in to with him just yet. rayne likes the way he looks at her too much to risk how it’ll change if he knows. not yet.

There’s something so easy about being with her that,  against the odds,  makes Isaac feel more relaxed  than ever.  True,  the smell of a vampire is something to get used to,  but it’s certainly not a bad thing.  He can’t help the laughter that escapes him,  lips curved in a grin as he gently brushes eraser shavings from the sketch.  “ Well?  It’s not like I’m wrong. ”     He glances back up at her,  reaching for his own coffee and leaning back,  a gesture that it’s time for a short break from the sketch,  attention fully on her now.      “ But neither are you. You are looking good for your age. ”  He wonders what this sounds like — is he being too flirtatious?  Does he care?  For once he’s really not overthinking.  Their easiness is just that.  He twiddles the pencil between his thumb and finger,  lips pursing in thought.       “ Boring though?  That’s definitely a lie.  Really — what’s the craziest thing you’ve done?  Okay wait — what’s the craziest thing you’ve done in the last century?  I don’t care what you did in the 1800s because you’ll say that wearing pants on a Tuesday was crazy or some shit. ” 

[entraum]

scartissuexx​.

                        Before  the  panic  attack  happened,  Derek  already  knew  it  was  going  to.  The  second  the  door  shut,  he  knew  Isaac  was  going  to  freak  out.  The  only  problem  was  his  house  was  built  for  wolves.  Breaking  down  the  door  wasn’t  as  easy  as  it  would  seem.  Someone  was  going  to  have  to  let  them  out.  He  wasn’t  going  to  tell  Isaac  that  though.

                        Holding  his  hands  up,  palms  were  facing  Isaac.  A  sign  to  show  the  beta  that  he  was  no  threat.  Derek  could  easily  use  the  influence  in  his  alpha  tone  to  calm  him,  but  he  wouldn’t.  He  wouldn’t  even  dare.  That  would  only  make  things  worse  between  him  and  Isaac  in  the  end.  Derek  was  trying  to  fix  things.  Making  them  better.  He  wasn’t  going  to  use  his  authority,  unless  he  had  no  other  option.  Even  then,  he  probably  still  wouldn’t  do  it.  

                        Emerald  hues  remained  locked  on  the  blazing  yellows  ones.  Keeping  his  hands  up,  Derek  slowly  moved  closer.  ❝  Isaac,  it’s  alright.  It’s  going  to  open.  ❞  Not  a  lie,  because  eventually  it  would,  so  his  heart  beat  didn’t  skip.  Getting  closer,  one  of  his  hands  reached  out.  At  all  times,  Derek  made  sure  that  Isaac  could  see  what  he  was  doing.  ❝  Listen  to  my  heart  beat.  I’m  not  lying,  and  you  know  it.  ❞  It  was  a  risk,  but  Derek  took  it  anyway.  Slowly,  but  steady  he  reached  for  one  of  Isaac’s  clawed  hands.  Bringing  it  up,  the  alpha  pressed  it  against  his  own  chest.  

                        ❝  Listen  to  my  heart  beat,  Isaac.  Just  breathe  with  me.  ❞  He  was  repeating  himself,  but  right  now  it  was  necessary.    His  breathing  was  also  calm  and  steady.  He  was  hoping  it  was  enough  for  Isaac  to  focus  on  and  find  his  control  again.  At  least  until  he  could  get  them  out  of  the  closet. 

There is no trace of his normal smirk,  his confident grin,  his sly charm  — if not for the glowing eyes and claws,  the panic that sets in is almost reminiscent of the helpless boy so many years ago before Derek had changed his life.  It’s just his mind spinning out,  thinking if only this was Scott,  if only this was someone else,  forgetting that it had been Derek who had first taught him control.  Isaac was just as much to blame for their strained relationship,  though he was loath to admit it.  His chest tightens,  a feeling that without the wolf might just feel debilitating,  but in combination with the animal inside,  it’s suffocating.  His head spins and he wants nothing more than to lash out,  to let that wolf take over — maybe it would be easier that way,  maybe it would make all of the tightness stop.  There’s a small voice in the back of his mind telling him that he’s fine,  but he can’t hear it.  Heart is racing as he stares across at the alpha,  waiting for him to lash out,  waiting for claws or teeth — but it doesn’t come.  Mouth hangs open as he tries to breathe,  but his exhales only come out as small growls,  sweating despite the chill creeping down his spine.  He watches the other,  trying desperately to keep his focus on him,  fighting all instinct to either fight him or the door.  Something in Derek’s tone,  the calmness of it rather than the anger that Isaac had previously been expecting,  keeps  him still,  panic still high but as though any motion from him is simply paused for the moment.  “ Derek — ”     Jaw trembles in another growl,  watching with wide eyes as the alpha does the last thing he expects and reaches for him.  His own heart pounds even louder,  breathing coming in short exhales,  doing everything in his power to keep from lashing out.  He flinches only slightly at the touch,  but doesn’t recoil,  clawed hand shaking as Derek pulls it toward him.  What is he doing?      “ I c-can’t — ”       His hand trembles gently against Derek’s chest,  but he tries to ignore his own mind,  his own words,  focusing instead on the alpha’s words.  He can’t yet put aside the tightness in his chest,  but he can stare across at Derek and do what the other is asking,  trying to focus only on his breathing,  on his heart beating.  He’s not sure how long he stares frozen like that — it feels like an eternity of simply staring,  ignoring the heat and his stomach flipping.  His gaze is locked on Derek,  and his own breathing can’t yet match the alpha’s,  but slowly,  the claws retract against his chest.  He swallows,  just enough of a convincing factor for his brain to realize that his throat isn’t as blocked up as it feels,  enough for him to take one almost normal breath.  Another eternity passes and the tension in his shoulders drops.  He doesn’t dare take his hand away,  his golden-yellow gaze still fixed on the alpha,  but he takes another slow inhale,  trying to match it with Derek’s,  exhaling the same way. “ Sorry. ”     His voice comes out a whisper,  but he can feel as his own heart rate starts to slow again.  As long as he keeps his gaze on Derek and nothing else,  as long as he doesn’t do anything differently,  he’ll be fine.  The tightness in his throat doesn’t keep him from breathing any longer,  but the nausea creeping in keeps him from wanting to move.     “ Can we get that — that door open?  May-maybe now? ”