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i want a cracker

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if you have a niche sport/job/hobby it’s your sacred duty to make the most specific incomprehensible AUs with the characters you like. no more coffeeshop aus no more college aus you have to put those guys in a microbial lab. your fave is a high school english teacher. that show is about bowling now sorry. THIS IS MANDATORY!!!

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Yeah, I'm the guy that all those fuckass writing prompts are addressing in the 2nd person. Yeah, all of them. It's fucking exhausting. Time and gravity and all sorts of other constants are always cutting in and out for unclear reasons and there are all these numbers over everyone's head, and any time I figure out what they correspond to there's some bizarre horrifying outlier number implying whoever I'm looking at is some kind of incredibly dangerous freak, and by the time I resolve whatever shitshow comes of that there's a whole new set of numbers over everyone's head that means something else. I tried to get an entry level job on a long-haul space freighter last week and every other member of the crew was from a different dumbass brain-dead alien species that treated every single behavior of mine as some worldview shattering paradigm upending signifier of human uniqueness, I couldn't tie my shoes or wipe my ass without them oohing and ahhing. Frankly the only thing stopping me from killing myself is that every time I do that I end up navigating some zany kafkaesque afterlife or playing some idiosyncratic game like Chutes and Ladders against Death for my soul. And if I throw it on purpose I usually just end up meeting the Author. The first time I had a really good speech taking them to task for their godly failures but after the second or third time it was just. I don't know what it was. I'm tired. I'm really tired. But if I go to sleep I'll die instantly or wake up in another life or something so coffee and uppers it is

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It's very weird to me how mad people get about picky eaters. Like. The possibilities are that for whatever reason they like fewer foods than you, in which case you are just straightforwardly more fortunate than them re: food, OR you also don't like the food, but eat it anyway, because.... Idk, you don't understand this is real life?

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My picky-eaterism tends to follow predictable vegetarian guidelines, so i think my parents found it very tolerable, despite their whole migrated-from-the-soviet-union-and-will-get-violently-angry-if-you-waste-food complex. As I've grown up and started experimenting with foods i used to refuse to eat i notice that i 'trust' things I've cooked myself bc i've gotten to know the food more intimately through its cooking and predict the texture and flavor as a result. However i do still find myself confused when people won't eat tomatoes or something. tomatoes have perfectly predictable jiggly bits, as opposed to beef or chicken. When people don't eat my cooking it does make me sad, though. I already have strict dietary preferences! What do you mean yours are stricter?

i think a lot of anti-picky-eaterism is a case of poor sad-mad distinction. it's totally reasonable to be SAD that someone doesnt want to eat the food you made. but if people aren't discriminating about their emotions, it can become MAD that someone doesnt want to eat the food, which is very silly

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rice is the perfect food and westerners should eat more of it i'm so serious

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have you read the book House of Leaves? (yes and i finished it / yes but only part of it / no)

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do you think you’d have a civil dialogue with your 14-year old self?

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all porn online is basal and revolting so ive started jerking it to the smell of isopropyl alcohol

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Baby snep investigates trail cam

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MOVING PICTURES OF HIM

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is your pet sassy?

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they should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours

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i love when a song is an acquired taste. you can listen to something once and go huh. there's something here even if im not quite ready for it yet. and you listen a couple more times. and then bam a couple weeks or months or years later you listen, youve finally worn the song in and it's the most beautiful thing you've ever heard

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they should make a skin picking that’s good for you

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Rich Chocolate Ice Cream

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