enchantress-of-words

[enchantress-of-words]

ara design :)

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we're so back (it's so over?)

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i much want to take my skin off

like a coat

and to leave it to hang on the wall

i want to let flesh of mine

slip to the floor

and my ribs to click off one by one

i want for my mind

to go silent once more

while i lay in the pool of my blood

i want to sleep fast

and to purr in while i dream

while my skin hangs like coat by the door.

[enchantress-of-words]

(05.01.2024)

today,

i woke up without reminder,

and stared at my phone, trying not to think,

but the thoughts came, and said,

"you have to thread carefully"

so i stared into emptiness,

and had to live despite wanting to disappear.

today,

i went outside,

for air is good for my health and solitude heals my heart,

and the thoughts followed me, whispering,

"you are alone" and "what do you do now" and "you should be at peace"

and i walked, gloomly,

and had no foolishness to chase them away.

today,

i sat on the bench,

and the wind moved the branches above me,

and the ravens cried.

and,

for the first time in years,

i thought they cried for me—that the crows came,

at last,

to collect their penance.

today,

i was in the store.

i did not want to buy a thing.

but the thoughts whispered "you will be hungry"

and "you will regret later"

and "it is not polite to leave without a thing"

so i got a bar of chocolate,

and stuffed it into my bag without thinking.

today,

i am sitting on the bench.

the thoughts are still around me,

and the world is still moving,

and the sky is gray,

and i did not take my coat with me.

it is a middle of the winter.

i need to go.

i need to wake up.

[enchantress-of-words]

made a studyblr 👍

[enchantress-of-words]

i got my isbn today for the book. 8 months to go. my mom and i were talking about what the next steps are. i was eating trail mix, standing on one foot, phone tucked into my ear.

"yeah," i said. "the problem is that tumblr as a market is like, not something that can be studied." there's this weird wave of nostalgia and affection for this place that came up over me: how lovely we avoid consumerism. okay, it sucks as a creator. but also? keep stickin' it to 'em.

my mother made the sound at the back of her throat that i also make, the one that means i've got an idea. "you should figure out some kind of reward for presale amounts. maybe you give out poems or a mug or a signed book or something. would your followers like that?" my mother is sweet, and kind, and i have no idea how to explain on this website you can buy someone crabs.

i put more m&ms down the hatch. i had to speak through peanuts and almonds. "if it passes 25 thousand i will print the book out in its entirety and eat it live on camera."

"oh god. no, you don't have to do that." she was anguished. "just tell them that you'd love them to read it, and that they've inspired you to write. you got started on that site, and they helped you keep going. raquel, you love these people. the community? you talk all the time about the other writers and artists and whatever else. tell them that you're hoping for their support, they'll come through."

"no," i assured her. i discovered i had dropped an m&m, but an ant had already found it, so it belonged to him now. i will let his little life have a surprise blue treasure in it, too. "i'm gonna fuckin' eat the book."

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something borrowed, something blue - a personal piece

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Alright.

You ready for a hard 'tag your oc' challenge?

Tag an oc who doesn't have childhood trauma. At all. Who's family is still alive.

I'll wait.

[enchantress-of-words]

another poll!!!

put in the tags if your interest in one has affected the interest in another for bonus points

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Russia spreads lies that tonight Ukrainian Armed Forces are going to strike ZNPP with a "missiles filled with radioactive waste". You know what it means. If they started a campaign of misinformation and blame shifting, they are planning to blow up the nuclear plant sometime soon.

And I know for sure that, as in the case of the Nova Kakhovka dam Russians blew up, there will be many people willing to believe that Ukraine is deliberately destroying its own territory and kiling its people. Tucker Carlson will make another video where he explains how Ukraine is killing itself, "independent" Western journalists will write about this crime as a "catastrophe in which both sides blame each other", like nothing's clear, maybe Ukraine really nuked itself, who the fuck knows.

Rafael Grossi (the head of the The International Atomic Energy Agency) will once again gladly shake hands with the Russian terrorists who seized the NPP and are storing explosives there (I love how we all sorta forgot how fucking insane it is that russia is allowed to do this), while other IAEA employees will once again give the occupiers warm hugs.

The only hope is that something will happen behind closed doors that will force Kremlin to change their plans. Maybe they are bluffing like they did last year with the "dirty bomb" nonsense. One can hope.

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reblog to tell your mutuals they’re lovely af.

✨♡♡✨♡♡✨♡♡✨♡♡✨

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i've been alright, not too active on my main but i picked up some fandom projects to work on this summer! school ended yesterday and I now have a lot of free time on my hands. though through the most of the day i want to hide somewhere in the cold and not move, it's so hot in here 😩😩

how are you? any plans for this summer?

hi carmen! i'm so glad you're back!! we've missed you <3 - @enchantress-of-words

aaahhhh Queen!!! my friend how are you?? I've missed you a lot!!! How have you been????

[enchantress-of-words]

Obsessed with this scene of Ibhan being affronted by some accidental physical intimacy

I woke up slowly, the rocking of the ship inviting me back under, but Riazs' insistent shaking of my shoulder won the battle. I was about to sit up when I realised the warmth I was comforted by was Kyda, still sprawled over me. My face burned as I looked down at how our legs were intertwined with each other. One of my hands rested on her back, securing her against me, and the other I had just lifted from the back of her head. She had turned sometime in her sleep, face pressed into my chest and I took a deep breath as I became hyper aware of every inch of her body that touched mine.

I looked up at Riaz and scowled as I noticed his shit eating grin, "good nap?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows and in that moment, Kyda was, quite literally, the only thing holding me back from strangling him once again.

Screaming crying throwing up etc etc I love them both so much

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Me: *trying to write anything other than fantasy or sci-fi*

My brain: Okay, now hear me out, just, just what if we added a little bit of fantasy or sci-fi? Huh? Huh? What if?

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Opinion needed

Sometimes, I create stuff for fun. Like this server layout for a Discord server.

I had a little time and played around with the looks and after I finished, I thought:

“This looks nice.”

So, I ask for your opinion: (please repost for a wider range of opinions)

Also: If you want to join an international writing server (which is - not yet - that pretty), feel free to click the link down below!

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our pale master of sorrow

There is a land, far away, beyond the seas and rivers and mountains; a land of dark ravens and grim forests - a land of grieved ministrels and heart-wrenching ballads. Between those sad musicians, one is the most sorrowful - between those weeping singers, one was the most tearful. Gavran was his name, and his hair was dark as the depths of the Void; and his voice was bitter as the drops of the rain. One song did he sing, and one tale did he bring with him from town to town, from village to village - and in that tale, all of his hurt and sorrow was condenced.

It was a hard year in that land for the famine was cruel those days, and people killed eachother for a grain of wheat. And in that land, there lived a boy - a boy named Mara, Son of Fear. The boy was frail in body, strong in spirit; his eyes gleamed dangerously on the pale face. He was young and bitter, and feared no God; for how can you be afraid of something you swore to hate?

Mara was young, and in his years he knew nothing but the ever-growing hunger and never-ending was; and so, when the Gods damned his prayers, the boy swore to kill them all - to free the world from their cruel whims.

And so he set on the road, and his first goal was hidden within a dark forest. It was a ring - shining and gleaming with light stolen from stars, made to contain power and grant divinity. Mara knew of it, and knew of the God who vielded it; still, his heart did not falter, and he did not turn back.

The God's name was Suza; Suza, the pale Master of Sorrow. His body was white as bone, eyes empty and clothes black, his head crowned with moss-covered antlers. Where he went, cemetries rose, and his touch made the life wither; bare words of his wrenched a man's heart with grief, bringing them to their knees. His long, dry fingers were covered in rings, and between them, the divine ring shone brightly; so Mara stepped into his forest, and renewed his oath to kill the cruel god.

Suddenly, he heard a voice. "Ai, little one!" it said. "Long hath thy path been, and many tourments hast thou prevailed; this, however, is a doomed road. Fear, fear the Lord of Sorrow! For thou won't leave this forest alive; and if thou dost, All-Maker save us. Beware, beware the hubris of a man! Curse, curse those who think they can rise above their mortality and reign over one of their kind!"

And then the voice ceased, and Mara heard it no more. Still his heart did not falter, and he stepped into realm of Grief.

Long and perilous was his path, for the forest was dark and the weather cold; and with each step he felt dread settle in his self, alike which he did not remember; with each move fear crept up his spine, and his body grew wearier, and ai! If only he had stopped and turned back! But Mara was no coward, so he prevailed, and anger boiled in his blood when he at least came to the dwelling of damned God.

And when Suza looked at him, he laughed, and his laugh turned into a dead fear in Mara's bones; still, he did not falter. "Foolish child! I see thou hast found me at least; to serve me, or to fight me?" And he moved closer, and his moves were as a rolling cloud during thunderstorm, and his eyes gleamed with death. "Fight me, mortal, and I shall smite you; serve me, Mara - and I shall grant thee mercy."

And Mara thought, then, bare before the gleaming eyes of Suza - how will he defeat a God? For he had no power and no skill; and so he grit his teeth, and bowed his raven-haired head, the divine ring still in his thoughts, and said: "I came to serve you, o Lord of Sorrows; to learn your ways and to worship you well."

Suza's teeth were long and sharp as he smiled, Mara bowing before him, plan brewing in that dark head of his already.

... this is where Gavran would stop, and be silent for a while, and then leave. No one knows how the tale ends, whether Mara defeats Suza or if he spends all lf his life in Suza's service, trapped and defeated; no one knows, except me; but the tale is dark and sorrowful, and I am but a mortal poet - so I will put this script aside and let it go unfinished.

[enchantress-of-words]

You know I haven’t done one of these in ages because everything was going well but now, I am about to be completely broke for the next month. I used all my savings and I borrowed money to pay for my tuition fees and borrowed some more for personal expenses (food and travel) since I won’t be paid until the 8th of May and that too I will only be paid about £380, if my manager doesn’t decide to reduce the pay for my side project, and I have already borrowed £400+ .

I may be able to pay some back in instalments but I owe £200 upfront and whatever is left over will barely pay for the months travel to and from work and uni. My PCOS is also on a rampage and I am buying up sanity products at an insane rate.

So all of that is a long winded way to remind you all that I am open to commissions for odd ends of work, that includes:

Map making (via inkarnate) which is great for worldbuilding needs

Transcribing handwritten notes to digital documents

Book cover making (via Canva)

Line editing manuscripts

I’m also a very highly experienced science tutor for GCSE science and can provide tutoring and/or topic summary notes

Donations are not necessary, but if you don’t want a commission but want to donate and donate more than $3/£3 then you can receive a PDF copy of my book, daughter or the dragon!

This is the link to my Fiverr or if you don’t want to sign up to it to place an order you can contact me directly and payment will be taken via PayPal (half up front half on delivery).

I really just need to cover travel expenses the most since it all adds up really quick throughout the week but I can’t not go to uni or it jeopardises my thesis / experiments that I just spent my bottom dollar paying for 😅 . Please don’t feel pressured to donate or buy a commission but please reblog if you can ❤️.