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my favorite video of all time ever

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Jane Austen Charted #3

Wentworth’s Persuasion Graphed

X Axis: Time

Y Axis: Emotion Level

Possible Emotions: Agony, Hope, and Half Agony, Half Hope

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ily, menswear guy

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I actually really like the thing when you're starting to get the hang of a new language, enough to understand and say simple sentences but you gotta get creative to get more complex thoughts across, like a puzzle. I remember a time in the restortation school when a classmate who wasn't natively finnish and did her best anyway dropped something and sighed, telling me "every day is monday this week. I have had four mondays this week." And I understood.

I don't think I speak much of spanish anymore, but in the nursing school training period I did there, I did manage to get by with making weird Tarzan sentences. I got a nosebleed at some point and startled another nurse. Not knowing the words "humidity" or "stress", I managed to string together: "This is ok. It is hot, it is cold, I have a bad day, I am sad, I have blood. This is normal for me." And she understood.

And sometimes you just say things weird, but it's better than not saying it. One time, I was stuck in a narrow hallway behind someone walking really slowly with a walker, and he apologised for being in the way. I was not in any hurry, but didn't know the spanish word for "hurry", but I did know enough words to try to circumvent it by borrowing the english "I have all the time in the world."

The man burst into one of those cackling old man laughters that they do when something in this world still manages to surprise them. He had to be somewhere between 70 and a 100 years old, and I guess if there was one thing he wasn't expecting to hear today, it would be a random blond vaguely baltic-looking fuck casually announce that he is the sole owner and keeper of the very concept of time.

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Kit to Ty

Election day: misery, stress, hair-pulling, at least for Americans (and a lot of other people around the world affected by our politics!) So I thought I'd post a distraction; I hope it helps and doesn't annoy!

A while ago I posted the beginning of a letter from Kit to Ty, created for a Kickstarter backer. Here's the full text:

A letter from Kit to Ty, never sent.

Ty, Ty, Ty.

Your name looks strange written out like that. Like an abbreviation. But Tiberius would be so formal. I never think of you that way. Or, I suppose I should say, I never thought of you that way. Tenses matter in these situations, I guess.

It’s late, past midnight, and I’m sitting on the windowsill in my bedroom at Cirenworth. Jem and Tessa gave me one of the best rooms. Of course they did. It has a view out over the gardens. Sometimes I see the ghost of a dog there, a golden retriever I’m pretty sure, running in and out of the flowerbeds. He seems like a pretty happy ghost. I think about how much you like animals and how much they love you, because of course they do. But it’s too late; this dog passed away a long time ago. You probably couldn’t even see him. It’s too late for a lot of things, now.  

I’m still mad at you, and I don’t feel good about that. Maybe if I could forget, I could forgive. But I can’t forget that night you brought Livvy back. I’ll suddenly remember even when I’m thinking about something else. I’ll be in the middle of helping Tessa in the garden and suddenly I’ll turn around and I’m back in Idris. 

I remember I told you I loved you. I remember I told you I would help you, but not if you raised Livvy from the dead. Not if you did necromancy. But you wanted that more than you wanted me.

And I understand that. I’m not angry about that. Here’s what I’m angry about: when you brought Livvy back, you changed yourself. You made yourself a different person than the one I loved. I don’t know the person you are now. You took yourself away from me. I can’t forgive that. And you made me someone who has to keep a secret I never wanted to keep. I was raised by someone who had so many awful secrets, and when I started my life as a Shadowhunter I wanted to do it openly, and honestly. But now I’m just someone else with secrets I can never tell. Just like my dad.

It makes me angry, so angry. I want to yell at you. I wish you were here so I could yell at you.

Kit

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When it comes to Fanny Price, the difference between me and the general public (at least online) is that they are all, "She's so weak and pretentious and annoying, why can't she just stand up for herself?" and I'm like, "She's so scared and beaten down and sad. I want to stand in front of her as a shield and wrap her in blankets. Is six enough to make her feel sufficiently snuggled and warm?"

And honestly, I can barely even understand the other side. How did you read Mansfield Park all the way through and decide that Fanny Price was the character to hate? There are so many other choices!

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“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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Love this so much

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Those people who constantly reblog your stuff but you never really talk:

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Some witches skating

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Apparently, even in the year of Our Lord Two-thousand and Twenty-four, people need this simple chart explained to them at length

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Lois finding out Bruce's secret identity and using/abusing his expertise on crime and weird combat shit to ask him questions for background on random pieces she's assigned to.

"Hey hotshot. Quick question. Hypothetically, can you, or can you not, die from a punch to the throat."

"Hello, Lois. Nice to hear from you again."

"No, I don't think you heard me. Throat punching. Is that a thing?"

"A thing?"

"Can someone die if you punch them hard enough in the throat? Google says maybe."

"Looking it up on Google. That's a new low for you, isn't it?"

"The new low for me was thinking you'd take this conversation seriously. I need a yes or no answer, Bruce."

"..."

"I can hear you typing. Are you Googling it now?"

"Give me some parameters."

"I don't know, hard? If you punched them hard enough, could they die?"

"There would be some edema present, subsequent to blunt force trauma. Shortness of breath. Other delayed sequelae."

"So no?"

"Maybe."

"What if I punched them really really hard? Would it be instantaneous then?"

"Lois, I'm getting the impression this isn't much of a hypothetical anymore."

"Completely unrelated follow up question: can you break someone's neck if you punch them hard enough?"

"Lois."

"I just need a yes or no on this one. Promise."

"Lois."

"I'm not asking if you've ever done it, I'm asking if it's possible."

"...What does Google say?"

"To suck my dick, I'm on deadline."

"That new AI is testy."

"Are you going to be like this every time I call you?"

"Like this?"

"Yes or no answer, Bruce. Five seconds. I know you're holding it back. You're dying to tell me."

"I'm dying to tell you something you can Google?"

(five minutes later, Bruce's phone buzzes with a screenshot of a text conversation between Lois and a very confused Clark whose only response was "...I think so??? ask B")

Lois: final chance, yes or no

Bruce: Running to Clark is a choice.

Lois: oh god, you text with periods too?

Bruce: Yes.

Lois: yes throat punching or yes you text with periods?

Lois: Bruce

Lois: BRUCE

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(via meanboysclub)

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The scene at the Netherfield Ball with Caroline Bingley is very interesting to me because I think Elizabeth Bennet, by saying that Darcy was behind it, entirely misinterprets what’s happening. We also know that what Caroline says is entirely true (this is the important part in between the snobbery): Let me recommend you, however, as a friend, not to give implicit confidence to all his assertions; for as to Mr. Darcy’s using him ill, it is perfectly false; for, on the contrary, he has always been remarkably kind to him, though George Wickham has treated Mr. Darcy in a most infamous manner. In my opinion, there are three possible explanations for why she did this, and two of them are praiseworthy:

She was trying to protect Darcy from slander (Good)

Caroline knew her brother was interested in Jane and was trying to keep the Bennet family from getting worse

Caroline was surprised by how much Darcy hated Wickham and decided to tell Lizzy about it, despite it being against Caroline’s interests. Rgency girl code! Added bonus that it might shame Lizzy (still a good deed)

It makes absolutely no sense for Caroline to tell Lizzy just to make fun of her, Caroline is smart enough to know that the best way to get rid of a rival is for them to be into someone else. It’s even better in this case for Lizzy to like Wickham because Darcy hates him. And she has ample other things to make fun of Lizzy about! Her family is making an absolute embarrassment of themselves all over the ball.

I think the real point of this scene is to show how people disregard information if it comes from a source they dislike. Lizzy falls for Wickham’s charming flattery, but she dislikes Caroline’s haughty sneer and therefore totally ignores the truth.