elyaasisthebest

[elyaasisthebest]

I swear to god this tweet will never stop being relevant.

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Derry Girls >> "Now, we can't get hold of the headmistress, one... Sister George Michael." "George Michael?"

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“All right, so the vampire’s gravestone is–”

“Cenotaph.”

“What?”

“It’s only a gravestone if it marks the location of a body. A monument honouring someone whose body isn’t present is a cenotaph.”

“I’m… not sure that’s how it works if the body gets up and walks away on its own.“

“There’s precedent for gravestones being reclassified as cenotaphs if the body is later removed and reinterred elsewhere. There’s no rule that says the body itself can’t do the removing.“

“Okay, but the body very much is coming back. That’s kind of what we’re here to accomplish.”

“So it’s a temporary cenotaph.”

“And naturally our greatest concern here is avoiding semantic ambiguity.“

“Semantic ambiguity is how vampires get you.”

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astronomy club sent up a weather balloon w a gopro in it last friday. put in three packs of fruit snacks so they could have a giggle over eating fruit snacks that had been to space.

balloon went up into inner space, about 90,000 feet. came down right near the dinosaur park. a few physics teachers drive out to get it, crack it open on the way home to start watching the footage.

fruit snacks are missing.

multiple sources confirm that fruit snacks were put in balloon and sealed in with duct tape. physics teachers check entire balloon. no fruit snacks.

physics teachers watch footage. all 7 hours of it. right in the middle of footage, there are about 8 minutes of visual and audio static when balloon is in orbit. no other interference with balloon recorded.

conclusions: ???????

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realtor whose entire career is just selling (and re-selling and re-selling) the same haunted house

it transpires this is a longstanding con, in which the house (which is hugely haunted) is an active participant

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I will never not be upset that the recent TV show format has taken away my joy of filler episodes

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few things more humbling than the realization that you really do write the same fic(s) over and over again

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Me, selecting filters on Ao3

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trans bears are literally stronger than any US marine

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working at an escape room will expose you to so many types of guys incapable of using their imaginations or committing to the bit

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Friend group chats are fun. Today one of my friends, who keeps pet crayfish, found babies in a tank that was supposed to be a males only. No choice but to empty out the whole tank to fish out the babies of unknowable origins. But lo and behold, there was a culprit: one teeny tiny little female had somehow escaped containment, evidently specifically going out of her way to break into this all male tank to get railed by like 15 males twice her size. Possibly completely different breed, too. Monsterfucker supreme.

So for a good solid hour or so, the whole group chat was focused on. slutshaming this one specific little crustacean. With like 300 babies.

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i dont know why anyone else misses analog board games, but to me, it's because physical parts let me cheat. there's no moving pieces around when someone isnt looking in a chess app, no sneaking bonus pieces out of the graveyard in checkers, no double drawing cards in go fish.

i spent years developing those skills as a Professional Little Brother. what am i supposed to do now, go back to college? learn how to play games the right way? i mean, who gives a shit? the fun part was never the game, it was the Getting Away With It. or, you know, for the rest of my family, Catching The Bastard. now that was entertainment.

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television peaked with Once Upon a Time, like I can watch Anna from Frozen try to convince Snow White's Prince Charming to fight evil Warlord Little Bo Beep and he's like 'You don't know what you're talking about Anna from Frozen, my dad died when I was six because he was an alcoholic' and be like that's not even the most insane moment of this episode

[elyaasisthebest]

LBAF I Reread - Alec's Chapter

This reminded me of this...

I'm glad we're past all this and Alec is owning his daddy/silver fox era.

Lmao. Anjali was a menace back then. Someone inform Cami stat.

This is one of the coolest reforms in Idris if I say so myself 😌

I always forget Rosewood was Enemies to lovers (but they were just competitive lil shits)

Alec being oblivious once again hehe.

All of this makes me so sad. Because Rafael loves Max so much and everything is shit now :(

Magnus Bane is always standing on business 😤😤😤

Max is the most manipulative shit and i love him for that

LMAO this sent me

NEVER LET HIM FORGET "i'm basically 12"!!!!

I think we don't give Jackson enough credit for growing up where he did (and how he did) and still being one of the wokest people in the shadow world. JACKSON HAYWARD FOREVER!

One of my favourite bits from LBAF 1. I think Rafe really took this to heart ❤️

Simp #1

This hits different for people of colour 😔

I know we don't see this a lot in the books, but given how much they interact with the mundane world, I feel these talks are inevitable.

THIS WAS SO UNNECESSARY? ARREST THE WRITER!

This whole scene lmaoooo

I love how until this point Alec was like 'David is so sweet' and 'David is such a nice boy' and then 2.4 seconds after finding out about Mavid, he IMMEDIATELY started terrorizing David 🤣🤣🤣

I think one of my fave Max characteristics is that he is never 'scared' of Alec. Like he just thinks of Alec as one of his bros fr.

AND THIS IS WHY HE IS THE BEST LEADER THE SHADOW WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN AND THIS WHY HE WAS ABLE TO BAG THE MAGNUS BANE.

100% advice to give a teenager tbh

Going from 'I was born out of love' to marry someone whose name means 'be loved' 😭😭😭

OMG THAT LINE!!!

He learned the manipulation from Magnus 🫡