ellen-tigh-blog

[ellen-tigh-blog]

"I don't know if that wouldn't be better."

The words were out before she knew it. Drink made her tongue looser, had always done and she normally didn't care much, but this had been a stupid thing to say.

"I mean... it's... erm..." She coughed. She looked around. She could do with a cigarette, with something to eat. Then it dawned on her she had no responsibilities towards this Cylon. Only to Saul and he would gladly suffer if it meant he could get 'his people' free.

She didn't claim to understand his motivation for anything, she just played part as his wife and she did it as good as she could. She tried keeping him from being detained and if she failed she would go up to Cavill to get him free and nursed his wounds.

Or the gaping want for drink. 

Whichever came first.

"Being held captive like this is not much better than death." She snarled.

Caprica Six drained the rest of her glass, returning it to the table. She couldn’t help but laugh slightly at Ellen’s words. Shaking her head, she said, “No, I guess I’m not.”

She breathed out a sigh, “I wish I could be with him, it’s true. He was the first man—the first human—that I cared for. Before that, I didn’t really care either way what happened to all of you.” So much so that she helped murder millions of people.

She felt a flush coming in to her cheeks. Perhaps it was from the liquor? The effect was almost dizzying. “You all should probably be thanking me. I’m one of the few people keeping the rest of my brothers and sisters from nuking this place, too.”

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Ellen twisted the cap of the bottle, but after some consideration, she put it back on the table. Her gums hurt from the biting rotgut and no matter how much she drank of the stuff, she always remembered Saul not being with her, being in lock up and she had no way of knowing how he'd return to her.

If he did. Caprica had told her she'd see what she could do, but there was no telling if would keep her word.

As soon as she had questioned the tall, leggy, blonde, she'd try and go to the detainment center. Shout something up to the walls. Maybe he would hear her, he would know she had not forsaken him.

She was all he had now Adama was away. And probably never coming back. For a moment she felt sorry for Saul losing his best friend, his almost-brother. She bit the inside of her lip, before spilling the first thing that came into mind to keep the conversation going:

"Sounds like you are not quite over him." 

"No, Roslin keeps herself busy with the children," she said to Ellen. Part of her wished that Gaius hadn’t won the election. Then maybe things would be different. She might have never found him again though, not that being with him was doing much good at this point..

As Ellen continued, Caprica Six’s grip on the glass tightened and she felt it crack under the pressure. “Gaius is not what you think,” she said, looking her fiercely in the eyes.

"He’s better than most humans. He looked beyond the fact that I’m a Cylon and he helped me. He loved me. And I loved him." Tears sparkled in her eyes, but instead of breaking the glass completely, she finished the contents of it and studied the crack. "I’m trying to help him lead you all to safety and freedom. But there are too many people in my way. Holding a gun to his head to make him do things, things I don’t agree with."

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Oh don't tell me these 'things' have actual feelings... Ellen thought. 

"You find Gaius in compromising positions? Well, at least you never had to worry about that with President Roslin." Ellen almost scoffed. She had never gotten along with Laura. 

"Still. You have put him in charge, or at least you've let him be the figurehead. Did they make you the one who has to keep him happy? I cannot imagine you'd want to be with the slimy frakweasel for the fun of it."

She pushed. Probably too far. Caprica could take her out with one swing, especially now she herself rather inebriated.

  Her brows rose in surprise. Ellen must really be starved for company if she was offering her another drink. Didn’t she think that Caprica Six was just another “frakkin’ toaster” not to be trusted? She couldn’t blame her or anyone for thinking that. The other models were giving a lot of them bad names. But she supposed having some company wasn’t too bad for her either. She wasn’t ready to face Gaius again just yet.

She took the glass from her once more, taking a long sip. She hadn’t drank much enough to know whether her body could get drunk. But she sure hoped it would feel some of the effects. “Usually I find Gaius in various compromising positions,” she said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes and failing.

"Men like him take people like us for granted who only want to help," she said, taking another sip. "If he would rather spend time drinking and smoking and with three women at once, then that’s his life," her jaw clenched on the word ‘women.’

[ellen-tigh-blog]

"Home?"

She doesn't know what 'home' is anymore. It's not the apartment in Caprica City, it's not Galactica. It's not the cold, damp tent she shares with Saul - if he is not in lock up. 

On the other hand it is anywhere Cavill's not. She bites away a tear. Laura can't know. She wouldn't understand. She is an upstanding sort. Takes the moral highground. At all times too - or as far as she knows. She has even managed to keep her lover safe.

"No, thank you. I'm sure I'll find my way." She coughed raspingly.

  Laura pursed her lips tightly. This is what you get for trying to be nice to Ellen Tigh. It’s going to be just like every other time.

"Some of us would rather not kill ourselves trying to look nice," she said biting, keeping her voice even. She withdrew her hand and crossed her arms. She was wearing jeans and a faded sweater; surely she didn’t look as bad as Ellen insinuated. After a moment of silence, she sighed, knowing what should be said. 

"Do you want me to walk you home, Ellen?"

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"Sam Anders?" Kara's grip was tight and painful and she tried to pull herself free, but failed.

"Big guy? Handsome? Pyramid player?"

She knew exactly who Sam was - after all he was inside their tent at least twice a week to discuss plans to defeat the Cylons. If he was not with Cottle using up all the last antibiotics there were on the planet. She shuddered when she thought how there might be none left when she needed some. Or Saul. 

A laugh, breathless and almost giddy in relief, escaped Kara. It was a sound so foreign to her that she wasn’t sure she had done it aloud. She stumbled forward.

"Oh, my gods, it’s really…" She grabbed one of Ellen Tigh’s hands and looked around herself. Suddenly her face fell, her grip tightened and she looked back at Ellen. "Is…is Sam alive? My husband - do you know?"

[ellen-tigh-blog]

Ellen took the offered hand, got up easily and eyed the former president. The schoolteacher. 

"I don't suppose you have a lot of use for dressing up." She says with a biting smile.

After all Adama is high up in the sky, on Galactica. How she had hated the ship and how she longed for its comforts now. For a clean rack, a working shower, fine ambrosia.

"Some of us still try to make an effort." She sneered a bit.

"Ellen?" Laura called softly into the night. The blonde materialized out of the gloom. She was wearing tall heels that couldn’t have been easy to walk in, and had apparently tripped.

Laura stepped over and offered a cautious hand. She had never gotten on with Ellen after that first catastrophic dinner after the woman had reappeared. She was a little too wild and far too clever for her own good. 

"Why are you wearing those ridiculous heels?" she said with an awkward smile. She could at least attempt to play nice with the Colonel’s wife. "I left all of mine on-" she froze momentarily. "On Galactica."

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Frakking high heels... if it had been Saul she would have had to entice, she'd not have worn them. He was easily pleased with a bit of cleavage, a flash of leg, some rubbing and flirty talk.

Cavill made her work for it, made her work for every bone he threw her and she did it. For Saul. But stumbling all over the road - if you could call it a road - was very irritating.

'I could definitely use a drink', she thought as she tripped once again, making her curse loudly.

Laura stood outside her tent, reveling in the tepid sunlight. It was bright, at least more so than most days, and she closed her eyes, trying to imagine better times.

The cabin was the first thing that crossed her mind. That and Bill. If the Cylons hadn’t come, who knows what would have happened.

Maybe I could have built that cabin. A nice, small cabin by the lake. I could have lived there and taught the children whatever I wanted. Caprican government, the Pythian Prophecy, maybe even the history of the first Cylon War….

A noise to her left jolted her out of her reverie.

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"You're leaving?" She finally managed to pick up the full bottle and twisted the cap off.

She poured Caprica another drink as well as herself and she clinked her glass against it.

"I mean, you never know how you'll find Gaius, do you? It's always been the same with Saul..."

Only the other way around...

She'd not always been the best of wives, especially when he had been on missions. She'd gotten lonely easily, the temptation of a moment's respite from that proved impossible to ignore. She had often wondered if she'd felt the same if they had had children.

On the other hand it had never stopped Carolanne from inviting the odd mailman in to warm her cold bed...

A giggle was something Caprica Six didn’t hear too often in this place, even if she could tell it wasn’t truly genuine. Some happiness through all this awfulness would be welcome though. Maybe should could talk to Cavil about releasing the Colonel. What was the point in keeping him, anyway? The Fleet had clearly abandoned its people and if a signal to them existed, they would have found it already.

She stood and nodded to her request, “I’ll see what I can do, Ellen.”

She looked at the woman for a long moment, unsure why part of her resisted leaving the woman’s side, but forced herself to turn away.

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"Lt. Thrace?" She had not known Kara terribly well. Of course Bill would go on and on about her and Saul had spoken of fighting with the girl - fighting as in fists in his face, he had probably deserved it - but she had not had interacted much with Kara.

"I had no idea you were in here."

ellen-tigh

Kara blinked into the harsh, bright daylight outside the detention center. She had been numb since the pair of Fives came, flanked by Centurions, to take her from Leoben’s doll house. What the hell? You’re letting me go? They pretended like she wasn’t there and marched her outside.

Now she stood, feeling a vertigo-like sickness stirring her stomach and rubbing the red circles on her wrists where the restraints had been. She was so happy and relieved, and confused and afraid. She looked around to try to orient herself, find something that she recognized and could use to shake her senses. People milled about in the muddy road. She knew she should recognize some of them, but she didn’t. She might as well have been standing in a crowded Pyramid stadium in Caprica City. Then she saw someone.

"Ellen?" Kara asked, disorientation in her wide eyes. "Ellen Tigh?"

[ellen-tigh-blog]

"Thank you." Ellen giggled - more for form. She didn’t feel particularly joyous. She was lonely, about as lonely as she had been on the Galactica. Except here she had a bit more standing. Saul was the XO, had been the XO, but here he was a driving force behind the resistance. 

Getting to close to Caprica would mean she might accidentally give the game away. On the other hand: so far nobody had ever found her out and even if they did, people wouldn’t want to frak around with her. She had even said it to Adama once - frakking Adama… Saul was more loyal to a pockfaced old crank than to her. He’d stick his hand in a pool of lava for his commander. She doubted he’d appreciate the sacrifices she made for him.

"A bottle of red would be nice." She smiled sweetly.

  Caprica watched the woman’s reaction to her question. Ellen’s face was set so as not to give too much away; she was a good actress.

"I’m sorry," she told her. She wondered if there was anything she could to do to help since Ellen wasn’t throwing rocks at her and seemed like a perfectly pleasant person. Plus, she, unlike her brothers and sisters, didn’t hate all humans. And someone on this rock should be happy. She didn’t have much sway with the Cavil model though. He bulldozed over everyone. Still, it couldn’t hurt to try. "I’ll see if there’s anything I can do."

She looked around her, then back to Ellen to make sure no one was listening in. “To be honest, Gaius has a very nice selection. If I can’t do anything for Saul, I’ll see if I can get a bottle.” Something inside her wanted to help Ellen, while another part of her wanted to resist.

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"Yes, he is." she was worried about him, but she wouldn't share it with Caprica, or any Cylon for that matter. They did not need to know how deeply she was affected by him being gone. It always made her feel like her anchor had been pulled up and she was adrift at sea.

She looked around and located another bottle and reached out for it. Too far. Her seat rocked dangerously and she bit her lip in concentration.

"You know, I'd really like to have something else to drink besides this... gasoline. A nice bottle of red - full bodied. Ya'know?" She eyed Caprica. Who was the poster girl for 'full bodied'.

Caprica eyed the older woman as she easily downed the rest of the bottle. And judging by her exaggerated movements, it likely wasn’t the first she’d had today.

Despite the fact that Gaius was causing her nothing but trouble and emotional stress lately, the sound of his name still pulled the corners of her lips upward. She loved him, she did. Even if he was a complete idiot half the time.

"He’s a good man," she said. "The best man I’ve ever known. I know that he seems…erratic and like he doesn’t care about everyone, but he is still trying to save us." She knew she had to leave out the part about how often he was held at gunpoint. Most people would be saddened that the Cylons hadn’t bothered to pull the trigger.

"Is Colonel Tigh still in lock-up?" she asked with a tilt of her head. She knew the Colonel had been taken for questioning several days ago, but she hadn’t been exactly privy to a lot of that information. Her job had been to control Gaius and the connection she shared with her brothers and sisters had been clamped down tight.

[ellen-tigh-blog]

LADIES MEME | DAY SIXTEEN - a mother character ↳ Ellen Tigh (Battlestar Galactica)

[ellen-tigh-blog]

"Hear hear!" Ellen downed the last of the rotgut still in her glass and refilled it immediately. She had already killed half the bottle and she still could sense Cavill on her.

Anything to get Saul out of lock up and back in her 'bed'. But it wasn't easy - there was no pleasure, no thrill. More duty than anything. As long as it worked, she'd keep on doing it and maybe she could get some information along the way. Where medication was kept for instance. She'd use the stuff being brewed by the Chief to wash her mouth from the man who called the shots.

"So." She put the glass down with a little thud. "Gaius. Why him?"

Because if they had to depend on that little frakweasel to safe them all, they would all perish on this loathsome rock.

  Caprica felt her throat tighten at the word “replaceable.” So many people thought that of Gaius. And maybe they were right, but she couldn’t believe it. He was the first—and only—man she ever loved. He showed her what humans were capable of. She couldn’t stand for someone to just wipe him out.

"Impossible," she repeated the word and drained the rest of the contents of the glass. "You may be right, but I have to believe that someday it could be possible. Maybe not here, but maybe in another life."

She let out a sigh, “Either way, we all can’t keep living like this.”

[ellen-tigh-blog]

Done!

Ellen - open your ask box, por favor?

[ellen-tigh-blog]

"Worry about Gaius?" Ellen copied her guest and took a big gulp of the gutrot. It numbed her senses. Her guilt.

"He is replaceable. Unless of course you really believe that he has a divine purpose. But uniting the Cylons and humans? I'd say that's... impossible."

She didn't want it to be, obviously. She wanted for Saul to be safe and she wanted to be comfortable again. Not the lumpy bunk and itching blankets at night. The smell of Cavill in her nostrils. 

Especially that was something she could well do without.

"Slander I’m used to," she said. "Though it does hurt, seeing the hate in their eyes."

Caprica was surprised by the invitation, but where else did she have to go? She assumed Gaius was drowning in another bottle of whiskey with two women to occupy him for the next several hours. He didn’t need her. He never seemed to need her anymore. She came forward and took a seat next to Ellen.

"I don’t think they’ll ever grow tired of throwing them." She took the drink and put it to her lips, letting the harsh liquid into her body. "I’m always worried about Gaius," she told the woman softly. "He doesn’t seem to understand his purpose in all this. He should be leading us and bridging the gap between humans and cylons. It was peace I wanted, not this separation…" She shook her head and took another long drink.

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Ellen chuckled.

"If it's not rocks it's slander. Rocks hurt immediately, slander your reputation."

She moved to the next chair, the invitation to Caprica obvious, though not spoken out loud - that would be pushing things. She grabbed another glass, wiped it with her shawl and poured a hefty dose of gutrot. She kept the good stuff for more pressing matters, not a little girl whining about how hard it was to be the oppressor. 

"You'll learn to dodge those rocks within time and they will stop throwing them. I'd be more worried about Gaius if I were you."

After all, weren't Gaius and Caprica in a similar relationship as she and Saul?

Caprica heard the voice address her as she passed and paused, turning to look at its source. Saul Tigh’s wife, Ellen. Her eyes squinted for a moment as she came forward, feeling a strange draw to her. She hadn’t spoken to the woman much, but she felt…she wasn’t sure what she felt. And something deep inside her told her not to question it. She was just the Colonel’s wife, nothing more.

"Not as good as you, it seems," she said, indicating the glass with a nod of her head. "It’s really not much fun dodging rocks when I’m trying to take a walk," she said, unsure why she offered the woman so much personal information. But she felt like she could tell her.

[ellen-tigh-blog]

She was sitting in front of the tent she shared with Saul when Caprica walked past. There was always something familiar about her - maybe her blonde hair, maybe her ambition, she wasn't quite sure. She poured herself another drink and held it up in a mock toast:

"Having a good time?"

Caprica Six walked through the barracks of New Caprica, hugging her arms to herself. Angry faces looked at her, recognized her, hated her. They thought of her as their captor. One of the “things” keeping them here. But she hadn’t wanted this. She never wanted this. All she wanted was peace between the humans and Cylons. But everything had fallen apart. Her brothers and sisters were doing everything all wrong. And Gaius… Gaius didn’t know how to fix it. And he certainly seemed to want nothing to do with her. Something sharp suddenly struck her cheek as she walked. A rock. She reached up and when she pulled her hand back, she saw wet redness on her fingers. She rubbed it between her forefinger and thumb, then looked to the faces. Any one of them could have done it. And why shouldn’t they? She closed her eyes for a moment and turned away, walking back towards the parked Colonial One.