elleah

[elleah]

I love sleeping ♥️

[elleah]

You will heal. You’ve done it before, and you’ll do it again. People regenerate—that’s real power. Take your time. Cry, feel the sadness if you need to. But then, get up and keep going. There’s so much waiting for you—so much to live for, to explore. The universe is generous and loving. You’ll heal sooner than you think.

indigo, @solavey 

[elleah]

X, are you sleeping again? That’s what you do when you’re sad—you detach, you sleep, you go numb. I’m different during breakups. I go out, I feel everything. I cry, I talk, I write—I let it all out in a healthy way. Sometimes I regress, sometimes I deny, sometimes I use sublimation.

I guess we all cope in our own way, using our defense mechanisms. But the important thing is—we’re healing. All of us.

[elleah]

When I will have a boyfriend, I’ll kiss him just like that. I’ll appreciate everything he does to me and he’ll spend the night in my place, in my arms

[elleah]

He is undressing me slowly

[elleah]

I love when he holds my legs with these arms and pulls me in tighter. I beg him not to stop, just do things to me- anything he wants. His voice is low and firm as he says “Good girl… then don’t hold back either.” And he wouldn’t stop, not until I’m trembling, breathless, and saying his name like it’s the only thing I remember.

[elleah]

The chemistry is real

[elleah]

Noel

[elleah]

Dm, our love was different

[elleah]

I love my bathroom

[elleah]

5 months

[elleah]

And then… it vividly reminds me of Zev. I was thinking about him today.

Sometimes, on my walk home, I imagine him standing outside my building—anxious, excited. “Zev, hi. What are you doing here?” I ask.

“I came to see you,” he says.

I pause, searching his face, waiting for more. When he says nothing, I glance to the side, unsure of what to say. Then, looking back at him, I quietly say, “And… now you see me.”

He smiles. “Yes, I wanted that.”

I smile back, nodding, then sigh. “I need to get home, it’s cold.”

“Can we talk?” he asks as I turn to leave.

I stop. “Alright.”

We walk to my door. He follows me inside.

“I want us back together,” he finally says.

I take off my scarf, staring at it for a moment as it rests in my hands. Those words make me uneasy. Does he mean it, or is this just a game?

I live in my own little world. But its ok, they know me here.

Lauren Myracle

[elleah]

“That smile of yours is dangerous, you know,” he murmurs, his voice is low and playful yet filled with something deeper. “Makes me want to find out what else you’re hiding behind it.”

So I’ve been told, - I say, casually drinking a glass of water

[elleah]

We had sex on the couch tonight. It was so passionate

[elleah]

He’s holding me so tight

[elleah]

Noel, my love

[elleah]

Zev, you’ve probably forgotten me. Sometimes one person remembers while the other moves on. Maybe you don’t think about me as much as I think about you. Are you waiting for my message? Are you hoping I’ll come to your neighborhood? Sometimes I wish I could. I imagine a thousand different ways we could meet again, different conversations, different endings. I wish I knew if you think of me as often as I think of you.

I once believed Dm wanted me back after our breakup, but he didn’t—he only wanted sex, not a relationship. None of them changed after the breakup. Not one. They were happy to talk but never wanted to be with me again. If anything, they wanted it even less. At first, they only hinted at it, but later, they made it clear.

Not everyone is like that, but many are. Some ended up in an even worse place, and seeing them that way was disappointing. Yet, I still held onto the old Dm in my heart. Sal and Vl? No. But Dm lingered. He hurt me, yet he was so sweet. And Zev—he was strong, courageous. But he changed. He became cold, greedy. He doesn’t want a relationship. He never did.

I try to comfort myself, saying, “Maybe he’s not texting me because he’s afraid of rejection.” But no. The truth is, he just doesn’t want a relationship. And he never will. He’s rigid, lonely, dull—a man who was never truly my match.

Soon, I’ll meet someone real. Someone better.