elijahselwyn

[elijahselwyn]

Self-para 001.

“I’m fine,” he lies staring at his reflection in the mirror. Perfectly combed hair, a confident smile, straight posture, expensive clothes. ( Hair full of damaging products to maintain an image, a smile with sharp ripped edges, forever-tense shoulders, clothes bought with an abusive husband’s money. ) His complexion looks pale ( paler than usual ) and he forcibly widens the curve of his lips, he doesn’t stop even when it starts looking unnatural.

His chest feels tight with emotions he refuses to face, with memories he refuses to remember. It’s easy, he tries to convince himself, it’s easier to pretend than to be real. Fake smiles are easier to swallow than bitter truths. Authenticity is overrated anyway. No one really wants the real thing, people see what they want to see and are happy with it. Elijah Selwyn, the adored Slytherin with a friendly disposition and promiscuity no one really resents him for. It’s easier to continue being bright Elijah. To pretend as if everything hadn’t fallen down like dominoes over the summer. He has plenty of friends, doesn’t he? The lack of one is nothing to cry about – even though the lack of Archibald’s companionship is something he misses every day with a heavy heart –.

It’s easier to smile charmingly at Scorpius and continue to pretend as if he doesn’t notice that his feelings are absolutely pointless. Talking with Albus is fun, isn’t it? Debating with Melinoë never fails to make his afternoons interesting. And Max, sweet Max is always there to give his life meaning ( except elijah knows something is utterly wrong; what is his friend hiding? what did elijah do to stop being someone the other boy trusts wholeheartedly? ). “Everything’s fine,” he continues to lie.

His mother, resourceful and loving mother’s life motto has always been “We’re fine, Eli. We’re always fine.” She said the exact same thing the night before he was supposed to board the train which would take him far away from the place he should call home but never had been able to. They are fine, of course they are. No matter how they sign their letters, they are Beauchamps before they are Selwyns and Beauchamps endure it all.

Elijah is the perfect student, perfect son, perfect friend. ( Not good enough to be Head Boy. A disappointment to his family name. Always liked, never loved. No one’s first choice. No one questioning his vague answers. No one really getting too interested. He is pretty to look at after all; nobody wants to see beyond his pretty blue eyes and soft blond hair. Sometimes he yearns for someone, anyone to notice the deception in his smiles.  ) “I’m fine.” Finally, he’s able to convince himself ( like he does every day ) and he nods satisfied. He has the urge to fidget with his tie, but already feels the ghost of his mother’s swats on his hands and so he doesn’t. For a moment, he’s not sure what he’s still doing staring at his reflection.  Feeling resigned, exhausted, stressed, he leaves the room, knowing that there’s a prefect meeting in less than twenty minutes. It just wouldn’t do to be late, would it?

[elijahselwyn]

scorpius malfoy & elijah selwyn.

❝ you’re my favourite what if  ❞

@scorhmal

[elijahselwyn]

maxwell ahn & elijah selwyn.

❝ you raise me up // without you, i wouldn’t be me. ❞

@maxwerrw

[elijahselwyn]

Let it be known that one of Elijah Selwyn’s favourite things to do was making Maxwell Ahn happy. If going inside Honeydukes and buying his weight in chocolate was necessary to bring a smile to the other boy’s face, then you bet he’d do it in the blink of an eye. The thought of his friend’s previous uncommon sour mood was the only thing that stopped him from leaving the store after various students pushed him to the side without even glancing at him. Why was it that the newer generations continued to forget that manners existed? He counted to ten in English to calm down. When this failed, he tried in French. Then he did it backwards. He was reaching the end of his third countdown when he caught sight of an incredibly familiar hair colour.

Startled, he snapped his head to the right and his eyes widened almost comically when he realized it was no other than Scorpius Malfoy. Unable to stop himself, Elijah grabbed Max’s arm and proceeded to drag him to the corner where the fair-haired male was. As he stood in front of him, the young wizard smiled as charmingly as he possibly could. Trying to fill himself with courage, he wrapped his arm around the Hufflepuff’s shoulders. The contact immediately slowed his rapid heartbeat; feeling his usual confidence once again, he said:

“Scorpius! What a coincidence!” It had been a coincidence; maybe the Universe was finally taking a liking to him? “Where’s Albus?” he curiously questioned, craning his neck to try to spot the other Slytherin behind the various shelves.

@elijahselwyn & @maxwerrw

Let it be known that Scorpius Malfoy hated going to Hogsmeade alone. Really, anything that consisted of following a large crowd of rowdy students down a dirt path was despised. His shoes were getting dusty from the upkick of dirt. Which was caused by students who couldn’t be trusted to put one foot in front of the other. Particularly, if they weren’t simultaneously shoving food into their mouths as they guffawed at each other’s subpar humor. Typical Gryffindor nonsense. No understanding of the existence of other people around them. If they were doing this to his school shoes it’d be one thing but he was out of uniform and enjoying the first Hogsmeade weekend. Enjoying it as much as one could with dirt on their dragonhide boots. 

Scorpius knew his rather down and dingy mood was caused by one thing and one thing only. The utter lack of his best friend’s presence. It had been a tradition to go to Hogsmeade together every Hogsmeade weekend since third year. Yes, the small town had gotten relatively old quite fast but they got to escape the castle for a day or two. Not sixth year, apparently. As Albus was too busy blowing up portraits along the fifth floor staircase because he just had to try his new modified spell. The day before Hogsmeade. Naturally, his currently least favorite Potter was serving a massive detention and had made one last request before heading off. ‘Please go get me sugary treats. Scorpius, they’re jailing me! My bail is a lot of sweets!’. 

That resulted in the world’s most dedicated best friend now standing in the corner of Honeydukes. Utterly overwhelmed. He’d been there for at least a few minutes, trying to figure out how to navigate the large crowd in the most efficient way. It wasn’t even as if Albus had given him anything to work with as far as sweets went. When Scorpius had asked, ‘Is there a specific type of sweets or should I just buy the store?’ He received a very helpful, ‘Just the store should be good, thanks’. He wasn’t going to buy the store. That would be preposterous. Though maybe a shop like this would supplement a quality income. What did Albus usually eat? Cinnamon? Maybe chocolate frogs? He couldn’t go wrong with those, right?

[elijahselwyn]

Elijah frowned at her words; her feelings were easily read on her face and he faintly heard his mother’s chiding words about hiding one’s true thoughts. The young wizard shook his head, focusing on the girl in front of her. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze as he smiled crookedly. “I’ll be your knight in shining armor– that’s the expression, right? I remember Max explaining it to me once.” The thought of his Hufflepuff friend brought some sincerity to his smile. “I’ll protect you, Paige. I may not be the best, but I know how to duel pretty decently if I say so myself. If not, ask Albus. I managed to knock him out once; one of my biggest achievements.” He added in a joking tone, trying to relax his friend. 

“And, anyways, they know better than to come to Hogwarts. Though I am in favor of kicking out Lestrange; I can see her letting them in.” Elijah grumbled the last part, his eyes narrowing as he thought of the black-haired witch. It was no secret that there was no lost love between the two of them.

paige gave a little laugh and shook her head, “we’ll see who the highest bidder ends up being. hopefully it gets resolved by christmas so that my mother doesn’t worry about it.” she said, then felt a bit taken aback at elijah’s sudden ego regarding the selwyn name–although she didn’t mind it when he was talking about bringing the rowle’s down a notch. “thank you, eli. i’m glad i can count on you to avenge me.” she joked, then looked outside the window, toward the courtyard. maybe it made sense that the two were friends:  elijah was no one’s second choice, and she was no one’s first. they’d been balancing each other out for years.

“i’ve been terrified since the prison break. i–my parents almost didn’t let me go back to school. i’m just…merlin, i hope nothing happens. aren’t you afraid?”

[elijahselwyn]

scorhmal:

He stared at Elijah as if the other boy was going to further explain the comment. No? Of course not. “Chill-er? What does that mean? That’s not even a word.” Scorpius was altogether very tired of everyone’s opinions on how chill he was or wasn’t. He could feel his cheeks heating up as he spoke. Merlin, he felt like he was in first year again and needed to hide his face from sight. 

“I care…a bit.” Even if she wasn’t getting caught, she still shouldn’t be breaking the rules. Which was just as bad. Now, when Scorpius went into the woods to find ingredients for Albus, that wasn’t just as bad. He wasn’t hurting anyone or endangering anyone but himself. Or at least, that’s how he justified it. “Witten?” Scorpius couldn’t stop the small scoff that left him. “If it’s not about quidditch, is she really going to be attentive?” He garnered a small smile at the idea of Elijah taking care of it. “Oh.” He was rather sure he had a good idea of how Elijah took care of things.

He shrugged at Scorpius’ complaint; while chiller wasn’t necessarily a “real” word, it was the most suitable expression for it in Elijah’s not-so-humble opinion. But his train of thought crashed and burned as a red hue covered the other wizard’s usually pale cheeks. The other wizard’s blush made his heart stutter. Its sudden appearance felt like a precious gift; something to be documented in order to show everyone what true beauty looked like. He swallowed, his eyes locked on the other’s red cheeks. His own face started to heat up; Scorpius’ ability to fluster him with the smallest of things never failed to amaze him. Max used to be the only one who succeeded in provoking strong emotions in the pureblood heir; so this rather new development frightened him.

The other boy’s sudden mood change woke him from his reverie. Blinking, he realized that he hadn’t heard anything Scorpius had said. Elijah cursed at himself; it was unlike him to be so inattentive. Awkwardly, he rubbed his neck and cleared his throat. Looking down, he scoured his brain for something to fill the uncomfortable silence that had settled between them. His usual eloquence was nowhere to be found, which made him feel uncomfortable and inadequate. “Er, anyway, as I said, I’ll try to make sure you don’t have to deal with more than you are ought to. Don’t think of it as a favor, if it makes you uncomfortable. Let’s say it’s for my own good; I’m tired of Albus complaining about not spending enough time with you.”

[elijahselwyn]

Elijah thanked Merlin that the common room was practically empty. After a long day, full of NEWT classes, misbehaving students and Prefect duties, the young wizard felt exhausted and unwilling to deal with anyone. Of course, no one had ever said luck was on his side. The sharp claws digging into his skin woke him from his reverie and he cursed. He attempted to kick the small animal, too angry to care if he hurt it.

The voice of no other than Margaery Rowle made him snap his head up and glare. He vaguely remembered reading about Japanese charms to get rid of bad luck; clearly he needed them. Her blasé shrug made his blood boil, he was not in the mood for her spoiled attitude. Would it kill her to apologize? Or, I don’t know, act like a decent person? he bitterly thought. The blond witch had brought him nothing but trouble since the last summer; Elijah couldn’t help blaming her for the end of his and Archibald’s friendship. “Keep your pest in check if you don’t want it hexed.” His tone of voice was curt but full of rage.

@elijahselwyn

despite not being on speaking terms with her brother and being at hogwarts with a bunch of imbeciles, margaery had actually had a fairly decent first couple of weeks back at school. she had even managed to not run into elijah selwyn at all  -  sure she had kissed him, but it wasn’t like she was genuinely interested in the older slytherin. though to this point she wasn’t sure exactly why she had kissed him, her mother had just told her about the possible engagement, she’d had a couple of glasses of wine and she’d also had a disagreement with archibald that morning. maybe it was the curiosity as she didn’t know elijah that well, maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was to anger archibald. but most likely a combination of the three. nevertheless, she’d prefer it if she didn’t run into him for another couple of days, or weeks. or months.

however, that was not what the universe had planned. as the blonde was sat reading a book in the empty common room, the entrance opened. and in came elijah. margaery attempted to hide behind her book, hoping he wouldn’t notice her. but just as he passed, erebus decided to leap out from under the couch and dig his claws into the boy’s leg. for a while the young girl just sat there in awe, trying to stifle a laugh before she put the book down on her lap and gave her cat a scalding look. “erebus.” she said sternly,  although it didn’t help much. sure, the cat let go but it just began hissing at the older boy instead. “sorry about him.” she said in a disinterested voice as she gave elijah a small shrug before picking the book up again. 

[elijahselwyn]

maxwerrw:

The offered chair was a relief: Maxwell had really dreaded this conversation, afraid Elijah would be angry at him for his terrible behaviour. Now that he knew it was not the case, he would take all the comfort he could get. That meant grabbing the chair his friend had motioned to, and placing it next to Eli instead. Sitting down, Max leaned in so he could rest his head on the Slytherin’s shoulder. The proximity helped soothe him further, and he almost forgot he was spinning a web of lies one after the other. “I’m still a half-blood, you know. I’m sure muggle medicine isn’t as bad for me as it would be for you. If it was I would already know, I’ve taken it for years. But I’ll see the Matron about it, so you don’t have to worry.” This at least was true: he got to see Matron Longbottom quite often now.It was nice to know he had the perfect excuse for his visits.

Scrunching up his nose at Elijah’s detrimental words, the Hufflepuff tried to burrow his face even further into the crook of his friend’s neck. “You’re not an arsehole. Not to me, at least.” It was understandable that sudden mood changes, especially in a negative way, would be rather suspicious. Maxwell had failed to take that into account. “I should have told you about it, but I thought it wouldn’t be so bad.” The reminder of his less than graceful ways had the fifth year blushing, something he was glad couldn’t be seen as his face was still merging with the prefect’s jumper. “Don’t mention it. I even forget my arms got longer too, you have no idea how many people I almost slapped just the past week,” he mumbled with a smile. His best friend was no stranger to his tendency to move his hands wildly while speaking, something that had ended up in red marks and horrified apologies more than once.

Once Max placed his head on Elijah’s shoulder, the Slytherin felt the tension in shoulders dissolving. He wondered how it was possible that a simple touch could provoke such a reaction in him. His focus elsewhere, he hummed at the other boy’s explanation. Placated with the knowledge that Max would visit the Matron, he leaned his head on top of the Hufflepuff’s.

“But I’m an arsehole to everyone else, Max. One good deed doesn’t mean you deserve Heaven.” He quietly replied, suddenly tired. The stress of not knowing what was going on with his friend had had him wound up and tense so, now that he felt soothed by his presence, the exhaustion was catching up with him. “Next time, tell me. Don’t think about it, just do it.” He commanded with a stern tone of voice.

“I do have an idea as one of those people was me. I never thought you were so strong, Max. Color me impressed,” the older boy teased with a wry smile, poking the other in the left side of his stomach.

[elijahselwyn]

alspctter:

“I swear they’ll have nowhere to hide once I get on their case,” Al insisted, his tone serious although he was overdoing the haughty brat posture. The only reason he had not been mad at Harry for the remaining weeks of summer break was that he understood the reason his father had had for grounding him. He had even gotten to his siblings’ chores without being prompted to; but being away from Scorpius under those circumstances in particular had not made him easy to be around, as he had found himself unable to utter a single word longer than a syllable for a good ten days after his failed attempt at best friend-kidnapping.

A loud and rather disgraceful snort escaped Albus before he could even register it. “Are you serious?” He asked, incredulous. Apparently so. Shaking his head, the sixth year pondering for a moment before heaving a sigh. “I’ll try asking him, but don’t get mad at me if I get no results. I can’t even believe you think he’d even tell me anything. We’d both have better luck with Margaery, you know? The one with actual brains and not cheese fondue inside her skull?”

Elijah laughed quietly at his friend’s tone. He sounded like a first year slytherin pureblood; haughty and a pain in Elijah’s ass (as he had to deal with them as prefect).

“Ugh, I’m afraid that if I go anywhere near Margaery, Archibald will somehow know and immediately come to hex me. My plan is to stay as far as possible from the Rowle siblings. I’d like to pretend I’m enjoying my last year; those two would ruin everything.” A headache was already forming in the back of his head and he grumbled under his breath. “Everything’s gone to shit, hasn’t it?” he mumbled disgruntled. Then, in a louder tone, he continued “I wonder if it’s wise to keep meeting as a club. Everyone’s already nervous about the break out; imagine how people would react if they caught us. I don’t want to be in the middle of that. I may stop showing up.”

[elijahselwyn]

paigelenncx:

“and it’s not even one of the avery sons, either–there’s talk about one of the cousins, or something. a swede, because there aren’t enough purebloods in england to choose from.” paige said in a matter-of-face way. anyone who had seen paige in class would have been confused as to her change in character: the witch tended to be very quiet in class, but more candid with her friends, although that consisted of her speaking her mind rather than speaking up. she shook her head, thinking about elijah and margaery, who were two people who she was actually quite fond of, but couldn’t possibly imagine being fond of each other. “oh, i’d much rather have an in with the rowle’s, if you don’t mind. maybe it’ll keep raziela from murdering me if she knows someone will make a fuss if she does.” she snarked, knowing that not even that would stop raziela if the other girl decided it was time to finally put an end to paige’s existence. “although, well, i do suppose i’d rather be with you than shipped to sweden.” she teased.

oh, elijah knew her well. a more solemn expression crossed her face as she broke eye contact with her friend and looked out the window. “it’s because i’m scared, elijah.” she admitted.

“A cousin to the Avery’s? The horror. Please tell me you’ll run away before being the wife of an Avery. Please.” He pleaded, disgusted by the mere thought. Then, he frowned at her words. In spite of himself, Elijah was offended by her rejection and the fact that Paige didn’t think he could protect her. “I’d make a fuss and she knows it. And, besides, the Rowle name hardly has any prestige. Soon, Selwyn will be the only pureblood name that matters.” He confidently declared, trying to reign in his anger. As if Archibald could even compare to him; he had no charisma and, his future most likely involved a dark manor and an unhappy wife. “Sorry, Paige. I’m no one’s second choice,” Elijah smiled, but his words were sharp. However his bad mood evaporated at his friend’s confession. Without hesitating, he grabbed one of her hands and searched her eyes. “Why are you scared?” he quietly asked.

[elijahselwyn]

headcanon: elijah is very ticklish, especially on his neck, and starts to laugh at neck kisses, which can sometimes disrupt romantic moments

ACCEPTEDACCEPTEDACCEPTED

yes, just............. yes. and he doesn’t like people knowing he’s ticklish so he bLUSHES when whoever is giving said kisses realizes

[elijahselwyn]

scorhmal:

“Lonely? We share a room. He sleeps about a meter away from me.” Scorpius chose to ignore that it was obvious to others that Albus was concerned about him. There was no reason to be. His night terrors were…getting somewhat better. Besides that he was fine. Nothing new to be concerned about. Really. “Are you assuming I put my work off? I can assure you that is not the case. Chill?” Scorpius took the opportunity to pull his legs up into the armchair with the rest of his body. There was no reason to stay so stiff in the common room. “I keep hearing that. Am I not chill?” 

Resting his chin on top of his knees, Scorpius listened intently. “I thought the point of the mentoring was that you take advantage of me. I mean, professionally take advantage of me…” He ducked his head, a bit embarrassed over the poor phrasing he used. “I don’t foresee Melinoë having any trouble understanding the rules. Perhaps just following them herself?”

“I’m not assuming anything about you in particular; but rather about the whole Hogwarts’ student population.” He defended himself flustered. Then he bit his lip, unsure of how to answer his next question. Scorpius was most definitely not chill (which made him rather adorable in Elijah’s besotted opinion), but was it wise to say so? It was difficult to predict what would provoke a pleased response or not in the younger Slytherin. Elijah had never struggled in knowing what to say as much as he constantly did with Scorpius. “You could be chill-er,” he settled on.

The other boy’s embarrassment brought a wide smile on his face. He was just too cute; it wasn’t good for Elijah’s heart. “As long as she doesn’t get caught I don’t really care if she follows them or not. We have an image to maintain as Slytherin prefects, I’m sure you know, if Nott does anything to ruin it, I’ll have to take care of it. And I’d prefer to avoid getting to that situation, for hers and my sake. Maybe I can get Whitten to watch her.”

[elijahselwyn]

[elijahselwyn]

“We’re always okay,” Elijah re-affirmed with a nod. As Paige continued telling him about her parents’ engagement odyssey, his frown became more and more prominent. “The Avery’s? Have your parents completely given up? They have absolutely no class; honestly you could get married to a muggleborn and it’d be the same bloody thing. The Avery’s, ha!” He scoffed, crossing his arms as if offended on her behalf. “And don’t worry; I don’t think Margaery will agree to the marriage. I’ll probably be in the market by summer once again. You should tell your parents; maybe we both get lucky and get married with someone we actually like!” He exclaimed with a wry smile. Margaery was pretty, sure, but her personality left much to be desired in Elijah’s opinion. Paige would be his first choice most definitely, but his mother wasn’t particularly fond of the Lennox family. He’d try to convince her; maybe he’d tell her he was in love with Paige? That would probably work.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that you haven’t talked about yourself at all; only about your engagement.” He pointed out, but didn’t insist further. “I’m okay, I told you. Still studying, going through my prefect duties, pining like an idiot. Same ol’, same ol’.”

[elijahselwyn]

Elijah blinked surprised at the other boy’s words. Wordlessly, he motioned to the chair in front of him. “Muggle medicine? Are you sure that’s safe, Max? You’re not a muggle, you’re a wizard. Our organisms work different.” He replied warily. While he didn’t have anything against muggles per say, there had been various cases of non-magical parents thinking they knew best and accidently injuring their children. “I think you should talk with Matron Longbottom about it, just in case.” Even if he wanted to help Max in this kind of situation, the fact that he didn’t even know that hormones were showed how inadequate he was for the job.  

“And don’t apologize; I’m an asshole 24/7, you get to be mad whenever you want. I just freaked out; this whole year has me paranoid.“ He shook his head, feeling some of the tension in his shoulders disappear. “You did have a rather sudden growth spurt; I’m not surprised you’re having problems. Besides the whole bumping into walls and accidently hitting people in the face thing, of course.”

[elijahselwyn]

paigelenncx:

“that’s why i’m warning you.” paige said, raising her brows and closing her book, setting it in her lap. she looked at elijah and tilted her head. he seemed exhausted, and it worried her immediately. 

“i was…just doing some reading. you know. thinking. i wanted to get out of my room for a minute.” she admitted. it was true–she was starting to stew in her own anxieties, sitting in her dorm, and decided that a change of scenery would be the difference between a good day and a panic attack. sh set the book to her side and leaned closer to her friend. “elijah–are you alright? you don’t look well.”

Elijah simply hummed as she answered his question and closed his eye again. It didn’t surprise him; this year, even he had decided to leave their common room – which was usually his favourite place in the school – and look for a change of environment. The tension between his housemates was stifling and it felt reminiscent of his own house. Paige’s worried question woke him up from his reverie and he smiled wryly at her. “When am I not alright?” He jokingly asked. “Don’t worry about me, Paige. I’m always okay.”

Trying to change the subject he stretched, groaning when his back cracked. “I feel like we haven’t talked much this year, Paige. I think I barely know what’s going on with your life.” Elijah commented. Then, he narrowed his eyes as he questioned “You’d tell me if you had a boyfriend, right? I’d be upset if you didn’t. He has to have my approval, you know?” While he said this in a half-heartedly joking tone, he was being sincere. After all, Paige’s antecedent of a relationship had been Archibald; Elijah shivered at the thought.

[elijahselwyn]

@maxwerrw

Elijah sighed, rubbing his neck. He stared at the annotations in front of him and tapped his quill on the parchment impatiently. Talking about feelings wasn’t his forte; he was starting to realize that he was actually pretty terrible at it. For almost an hour now, he had been trying to think of a way to confront Max and figure out what was going on with him. For the last 4 days, the young Hufflepuff had acted unlike himself. Irritable, easily provoked and almost angry. He had actually snapped at Elijah. It had never happened before and he was worried. Incredibly so as this was the second time this change of attitude had presented itself. The first time had been some weeks before and the same symptoms had appeared then.

The parchment was full of half-written sentences and bullet points that were supposed to help him figure out how to confront his friend. However, all of his attempts were lackluster and rather pathetic. For the first time since the beginning of their friendship, Elijah was measuring his words around Max. The older boy usually didn’t see the need to do so, implicitly trusting the other and knowing he wouldn’t get easily offended by his often insensitive words.

However, the more he wrote, the more convinced he was that there was no perfect way to go about it. He bit his lip frustrated and started aggressively crossing out sentences with his quill. The skin of his lip was about to break when he heard footsteps approaching him. Startled, he snapped his head up and found himself staring at Max. “Max! Are you alright? Why have you been acting so awful this last week?” He blurted out. Blinking confused, he realized what he had just said and flinched. “I– I mean… Is anything bothering you? Is someone bothering you? I’m worried about you, Max.”