elidiot

[elidiot]

"old friends" is an underrated relationship dynamic because it's such an innocent boring sounding term for what is usually some of the wildest shit imaginable. it's always like 'oh yeah we go way back, we have history' and then you find out that history includes sex, drugs, murder, divorce, war crimes and The Incident

[elidiot]

[elidiot]

this is so fucking funny jrbfgjkbjhfbg

[elidiot]

you can never truly own a horse, or land, or another's heart. but you can own noobs.

[elidiot]

[elidiot]

Not only is Bruce their dad. He is somehow simultaneously also their mom

He gets called them interchangeably on a good day

One of them will need comfort and they’ll knock Bruce’s hands away and be like “No! I don’t want Dad Bruce, I want Mom Bruce.”

All the kids can just… sense a change in energy or something lol

[elidiot]

[elidiot]

the creature will grant you one wish for the new year, what do you wish for?

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[elidiot]

Damian: *peaks head above dining table* Baba

Bruce: *sighs, gives Damian the rest of his incredibly juicy fruit salad* Hn

Damian: *scampers off with bowl, Titus hot on his tracks*

Bruce: *watches with a faint smile, sipping on his water*

Bruce is totally a mom the way he just lets his kids take his food, just like my mom. They give him one look and Bruce is ready to feed them himself

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[elidiot]

Kid!Tim, called to the principles office. Waiting for an adult to come get him.

Dick, storming in: WHAT HAPPENED.

Principal: as you can see Timothy has engaged in-

Dick: SHUT THE FUCK UP. Now Timtam what’s wrong? Are you alright? Do you need a hug? It’s alright.

Tim, pulled the fire alarm because he wanted the last chocolate muffin in the cafeteria but they aren’t allowed seconds: I- I just though I saw a fire. I was trying *hiccup* I was trying to do the right thing. I’m so sorry.

Principal: Mr. Grayson. We have security footage that Timothy pulled the alarm completely purposefully-

Dick: Can’t you see he’s never done anything wrong in his life?

[elidiot]

Gay /pos /hj

which part is the half-joke the gay part or the pos part. my friend hannah wants to know