egondalatz

[egondalatz]

How to Write a Character with THAT *Sad Aura*

Have you ever stumbled upon a character, who, despite radiating wholesome, positive energy, also has a subtle undertone of sadness? It's kind of intriguing, isn't it? If you've ever wanted to write a perhaps more complex character or explore writing emotions, why not check this out?

What am I talking about?

Let's do a quick introduction as to what I mean. I've said this a couple times already, but to the reader, this character feels despondent even though they act nothing like it. This doesn't mean they have to act happy all the time (like my first example); they might act cold, or apathetic, but the point is they don't act visibly sad.

This faint melancholic mood provides a charming, or even nostalgic feel to the audience through ONE character! Isn't that kind of fun?

Eye Expressions

This character will not show sadness on their face--that contradicts the idea of "sad aura". But you know what they say, right? Eyes are the windows to the soul; they do not lie!

When trying to highlight some of this unhappiness, write about their eyes. Talk about how their eyes look oddly dim sometimes when they smile, or how they don't meet their friend's eyes when they laugh. These cues are simple but powerful.

Adverbs

You always have to be mindful of adverbs, but here especially, adverbs (and adjectives) unconsciously influence how your audience views the character.

For example, avoid saying too much of "smiled brightly" or "talked excitedly". If these are the adverbs you purposefully want to use to portray your character, then by all means! However, these adverbs add a happier connotation, which you must be aware of. If you want something more neutral (which I recommend for the most part), consider using lighter adverbs/adjectives, such as "smiled softly", or "offered lightly".

Reasons

A reason is normally needed for almost everything. Here, you want genuine reasons to back up why your character doesn't ask for help, thus forcing them to work through their unhappiness alone.

This could be because they think other people can't solve the problem, they don't want to bother others, they don't think their issue is a big deal, or they simply believe there's no solution.

Physical Hints

And if all this isn't enough, then drop some physical hints! Perhaps your character gets distracted often, tends to hesitate before speaking, deflects concerned comments with jokes, or has a hard time acknowledging reassurances, even when it's unrelated to their personal troubles. These habits suggest the idea your character has more than meets the eye.

Mood Changes

When people are upset, their mood tends to fluctuate. For most of us, we're typically upset for a short period, so we cycle through emotions such as anger, sadness, and even joy during these moments.

However, if your character is consistently sad, not just for a day or two, their mood might shift on different days. Maybe they're really tired one day, hardly speaking. Maybe the next, they are more frustrated, snapping at people or ignoring them. Maybe the day after that, they are overly energetic, bouncing everywhere and talking all the time, providing a bit of whiplash.

Purpose

Similar to having a reason for their reluctance of reaching out, you also want to ensure that they have a purpose for fighting. Why haven't they given up yet? This is especially crucial when considering the real world, where feeling upset leads to a lack of motivation.

So, what keeps them going, then? Do they want to fix their regrets? Do they want to change?

Backstory and Actions

To be honest, I wouldn't consider a backstory an absolute necessity, but I highly suggest creating one. Why? Because you can accurately identify the reason for your character's guilt, regret, and sorrows from the past with an actual backstory.

The events of your character's past always influence their future actions.

For example, if they were a part of a severe car accident in the past, perhaps they only feel comfortable when they are the driver in the future because that means they can control the car.

Conclusion

This character is not especially different from any other character, besides the fact that they are neither obvious nor overly secretive of their genuine feelings.

With that being said, focus on embodying their eye expressions, be careful about which adverbs and adjectives you choose to use--I recommend choosing ones with more neutral connotations for a sense of melancholy, explain why your character keeps their sadness to themselves and why they keep fighting despite it, show mood fluctuations, drop physical hints, such as actions and/or specific personality traits, and make sure to connect their past to their present!

Happy writing~

3hks ^^

[egondalatz]

How to Write Realistic Characters in Your Stories

Writing realistic characters can be challenging because there's a lot to consider. Even though I've touched on this subject before, it's a complex topic that requires vast knowledge to get it right. Here's a guide on what to consider when writing people in your stories:

1. Similarities to Real People: Just like in real life, your characters need to share traits with real people. This helps readers connect with your story and characters on a more personal level.

2. Negative Traits: It's important to explore your characters' negative traits to make them more believable. For example:

- People often think of themselves first because it's part of our DNA to protect and care for ourselves. Your characters should share these qualities.

- People pretend to be something they aren't or act differently in front of others due to fear of not being liked. This affects almost everyone at some point.

- People are easily distracted and often miss important lessons or moments that contribute to their growth.

- People are dishonest at times to protect themselves, making it hard to fully trust them.

3. Outside Influence: Your characters are also influenced by external factors, just like you are in real life. Consider these suggestions to help you along the way:

- People tell you what to think, feel, believe, and how to act. They often tell you that you're not good enough. These are common issues we go through as humans, making it important to your stories.

4. Realism vs. Idealism: While we sometimes want to write stories filled with fairy tales of a perfect world, sadly, that doesn't exist. There will always be someone who breaks your trust, and writing about this is important. You can take this information and practice cause, effect, and solutions to these situations to see what you come up with.

I hope this helps you on your writing journey. Happy writing!

[egondalatz]

12 Writing Exercises to help develop your character and their voice.

Editors note - There's a lot of boring writers drivel. So, to spare you from the headache if you're not interested, your characters individual voices and personalities are important for engaging stories and interesting plots. You can skip down to the end for the exercises.

Think about the people you know, the people you love. What's one thing they have in common, besides the obvious? They're all uniquely different. Everyone in the world is different in some way, even in media. Books and movies all have unique sounding characters that are different from each other. In Harry Potter, for example, All of the characters have their own voice, even the Weasley twins are different in their own ways.

Complex and unique characters that sound different, interact and speak differently, make for engaging books and dynamics.

I don't know anybody who would want to read a 50,000 word novel about two boring characters, who're exactly alike, and talk in the same monotonous tone. You can have a character who is "boring." who speaks monotonously and still have an interesting novel that people would read.

Having different characters who come together to create funny, interesting, or weird dynamics makes for a readable piece. Take your monotonous character, by themselves, they're kind of boring. They're not engaging to follow. But, introducing different characters to come and interact with your "boring" character, creates funny and memorable dynamics.

Think the anime Saiki K, or Veronica Sawyer from Heathers. If you took only those two characters, and stripped away all of the background characters, they wouldn't make for very interesting stories. Saiki would be happy, living his days in peace and quiet. Veronica would just be a normal edgy high school girl. But if you bring the side characters back, you bring the story and their conflicts back. Saiki goes back to being annoyed by his weird and goofy friends, wishing for peace and quiet. Veronica goes back to being tormented by JD and the group dynamic in the Heathers clique.

These stories utilize background characters to create conflict in their main characters' lives, and makes fun and interesting stories and dynamics with them.

Without further ado, here are 12 exercises to help you develop your characters, and get you thinking.

Ask your character what they want, and have them monologue about it.

Think about who, in your life, does your character remind you of.

Ask yourself, What does my character want, and what does my character need? How do they conflict with each other, and how does this affect my story?

A good exercise to help you write characters interacting, and practice dialogue is to do the ABCD exercise. 

The ABCD exercise is writing a full page, or 500 words, of dialogue between two characters, character a and character b, talking about what they think character c thinks of character d. Then, write another page depicting how character c actually interacts with character d.

Write journal entries from the pov of your character.

Think about your character's habits, nervous tics, or tells, and write out a page where they do those things.

Think about something your character holds dear to them, and give the item a backstory.

Think about how your character interacts with other characters, and write a page for each interaction. 

Think about a belief or opinion your character has, and write a page of dialogue, where your character is explaining their belief, and why they believe in it, to another character.

Write a page about your character reminiscing, or talking, about a cherished memory from their past, or childhood.

Write a page of dialogue about character a telling character c about character b, whom c has never met before, what kind of things do they say? What do they think of b? Then write another page from character c’s point of view, what are they thinking? How do their thoughts of b change? What do they think of character a? How do they imagine character a and b’s relationship?

Write a page about a character being forced into a situation with their greatest fear. Then, if you want to go a step further, write a page of the same thing, but introduce another character that the first holds dear to them, or wants to protect.

[egondalatz]

The Psychology of Morally Grey Characters: What Makes Them Tick

What Makes a Character Morally Grey?

They’re not fully good or evil. Instead, they operate in the messy middle, where ethics clash with desires, survival, or flawed logic.

They’re justifiable but not excusable. Readers might understand their motives but can’t always condone their actions.

The Psychology Behind Morally Grey Characters

1. They Operate Based on Personal Morality

Grey characters don’t lack morals—they just don’t align with societal norms. They may follow their own code of ethics, which can feel justified to them but questionable to others.

Walter White (Breaking Bad): His descent into crime stems from wanting to provide for his family. His personal moral code excuses his actions, even as they spiral into destruction.

2. Their Actions Stem from Trauma or Desperation

Morally grey characters often carry scars—trauma, loss, or desperation drive them into morally ambiguous territory.

Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender): His quest to capture the Avatar is fueled by years of familial abuse and a desperate desire for his father’s approval. His actions are harmful, but his pain is undeniable. 

3. They Prioritize Their Goals Above Morality

A morally grey character may believe the ends justify the means. They’re willing to cross lines for what they see as a greater good—or personal ambition.

Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows): He’ll lie, steal, and kill to protect his crew and achieve his goals. 

4. They Live in Shades of Contradiction

Humans are contradictory, and morally grey characters embrace this truth. They can be kind one moment and ruthless the next, depending on their circumstances.

5. They Force Readers to Question Their Own Morality

The best morally grey characters don’t just act—they make readers uncomfortable. They challenge black-and-white thinking and force readers to empathize with the unthinkable.

Thanos (Marvel Cinematic Universe): His belief in sacrificing half the universe for survival sparks fierce debates about utilitarianism versus morality.

Tips for Writing Morally Grey Characters

1. Give Them a Relatable Core

Readers don’t need to agree with your character, but they need to understand them. Ground their actions in something universal—love, survival, revenge, or a desire for belonging.

2. Show Their Justifications

Grey characters don’t see themselves as villains. They often have strong internal logic that explains their choices, even if the world disagrees.

3. Make Them Likable in Unexpected Ways

Even the darkest characters should have moments of levity, charm, or vulnerability. These moments make readers root for them despite their flaws.

4. Give Them Moments of Humanity

Highlight their internal conflict or flashes of goodness to remind readers they’re human, not caricatures.

5. Show the Consequences of Their Actions

Grey characters rarely walk away unscathed. Their decisions should create fallout—relationships broken, guilt weighing on their conscience, or irreversible damage.

Examples of Morally Grey Characters in Fiction

1. Severus Snape (Harry Potter):

His cruelty toward Harry is undeniable, but his love for Lily adds layers of tragic complexity.

2. Victor Frankenstein (Frankenstein):

A brilliant scientist driven by ambition, Victor creates life but abandons his creature, sparking tragedy.

3. Thomas Shelby (Peaky Blinders):

A crime lord who manipulates, kills, and betrays, yet he fiercely protects his family and battles his inner demons.

4. Eleanor Shellstrop (The Good Place):

Selfish and manipulative, Eleanor starts as morally grey but evolves as she confronts her flaws and learns to do good.

Morally grey characters live in the space between right and wrong, where humanity is at its rawest and most interesting. By exploring their contradictions, vulnerabilities, and justifications, you can create characters that feel as real and complex as life itself.

[egondalatz]

[C] Nap and Cuddle

Just friends taking a nap together, that’s perfectly fine. c: I’m an illustrator and main provider for a family of three; Please consider supporting my efforts at patreon.com/mykegreywolf!

[egondalatz]

How to show emotions

Part VIII

How to show helplessness

slightly open mouth

downturned mouth

eyes slightly more open

being hesitant in their movements

shrugging shoulders

wringing their hands

crossed arms to protect themself

buckling of the legs, becoming instable

speaking softly and shaky

How to show optimism

openly smiling

relaxed face

bright, attentice eyes

steady and natural eye contact

open and upright posture

energetic and animated movements

speaking in an upbeat and positive tone

walking with a spring in their step

walking confidently

How to show anticipation

bright and open eyes

looking around

sweaty palms

trembling hands

heart racing

fidgeting with their entire body

crossing and uncrossing one's legs

having restless legs, rocking them

drumming with their fingers

bouncing on one's toes

shifting from one foot to the other

pacing around

fussing with clothes

How to show amusement

eyes twinkling with mirth

chuckling

bursting out in laughter

eye contact to share their amusement

being open and relaxed

a genuine smile

raised eyebrows

crinkling around the eyes

tilting of the head

slapping their thigh

playfully nudging other characters

How to show respectfulness

standing tall with good posture

maintain steady, appropriate eye contact

avoiding direct staring to not make them feel uncomfortable

speaking in a calm and measured tone

showing attentiveness by listening actively

using polite language and manners, not interrupting or talking over anyone

no crossing of arms and relaxed hands

More: How to write emotions Masterpost

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

[egondalatz]

20 Ways to Show Extreme Fear in Your Writing

As I dive into researching signs of fear for my horror WIP, I wanted to share some of the most compelling and visceral reactions I’ve come across. Whether you’re writing a chilling scene or crafting a character’s panic, these 20 signs of fear can help bring tension and realism to your story.

Physical Reactions

Hyperventilating — sucking in air but never feeling like it’s enough

Chest tightens — feels like a weight or hands pressing down

Limbs shaking violently, knees buckling

Complete loss of muscle control — collapsing or unable to stand

Cold sweat soaking through clothes

Heart hammering so hard they feel it in their throat or head

Tunnel vision — the world narrowing down to one terrifying focal point

Ringing in the ears or sudden deafness, like the world drops away

Dizziness / feeling faint / vision blurring

Dry mouth — unable to speak or even scream

Uncontrollable Behavior

Screaming / sobbing / gasping — involuntary vocal outbursts

Panic run — bolting without thinking, tripping over everything

Clawing at their own skin / chest / throat — like trying to escape their body

Begging / pleading out loud even if no one’s there

Repeating words or phrases — “No, no, no” / “This isn’t happening”

Hiding instinctively — diving under tables, closets, or corners

Desperate grabbing — reaching for someone, anything solid

Loss of bladder or bowel control (for extreme terror)

Total mental shutdown — frozen, slack-jawed, staring blankly

Memory blackout — later can’t recall what happened during the worst moment

[egondalatz]

How to Make Your Characters Almost Cry

Tears are powerful, but do you know what's more impactful? The struggle to hold them back. This post is for all your hard-hearted stoic characters who'd never shed a tear before another, and aims to help you make them breakdown realistically.

The Physical Signs of Holding Back Tears

Heavy Eyelids, Heavy Heart Your character's eyelids feel weighted, as if the tears themselves are dragging them down. Their vision blurs—not quite enough to spill over, but enough to remind them of the dam threatening to break.

The Involuntary Sniffle They sniffle, not because their nose is running, but because their body is desperately trying to regulate itself, to suppress the wave of emotion threatening to take over.

Burning Eyes Their eyes sting from the effort of restraint, from the battle between pride and vulnerability. If they try too hard to hold back, the whites of their eyes start turning red, a telltale sign of the tears they've refused to let go.

The Trembling Lips Like a child struggling not to cry, their lips quiver. The shame of it fuels their determination to stay composed, leading them to clench their fists, grip their sleeves, or dig their nails into the nearest surface—anything to regain control.

The Fear of Blinking Closing their eyes means surrender. The second their lashes meet, the memories, the pain, the heartbreak will surge forward, and the tears will follow. So they force themselves to keep staring—at the floor, at a blank wall, at anything that won’t remind them of why they’re breaking.

The Coping Mechanisms: Pretending It’s Fine

A Steady Gaze & A Deep Breath To mask the turmoil, they focus on a neutral object, inhale slowly, and steel themselves. If they can get through this one breath, they can get through the next.

Turning Away to Swipe at Their Eyes When they do need to wipe their eyes, they do it quickly, casually, as if brushing off a speck of dust rather than wiping away the proof of their emotions.

Masking the Pain with a Different Emotion Anger, sarcasm, even laughter—any strong emotion can serve as a shield. A snappy response, a bitter chuckle, a sharp inhale—each is a carefully chosen defence against vulnerability.

Why This Matters

Letting your character fight their tears instead of immediately breaking down makes the scene hit harder. It shows their internal struggle, their resistance, and their need to stay composed even when they’re crumbling.

This is written based off of personal experience as someone who goes through this cycle a lot (emotional vulnerability who?) and some inspo from other books/articles

[egondalatz]

Is Your Villain Dry? Internal Conflict is Needed!

@thewriteadviceforwriters

Villains aren’t evil just for chaos. there’s a whole world of internal battles waging behind that hardened façade. Dive deep into your villain’s psyche to reveal:

A haunting past or a pivotal mistake that shadows their every move 😌

A remnant of empathy or humanity that makes them tragically relatable

Subvert expectations:

Avoid the cliché "pure evil" stereotype by exploring the layers of regret, loss, or even doubtful remorse.

Show that they might be wrestling with an internal conflict over choices made in the name of a twisted sense of justice.

Use narrative techniques:

Experiment with fragmented internal monologues instead of well-structured soliloquies.

Incorporate flashbacks or unreliable narration to mirror the fragmented state of their troubled mind.

Infuse subtle moments of vulnerability:

Craft scenes where your villain, in solitude (maybe under a starlit sky 🌟), reflects on their regrets and fears.

Use these quiet moments to hint at the underlying emotional turmoil, avoiding over-dramatization.

Leverage relationships as catalysts:

Introduce secondary characters—like a long-lost friend or a mentor—who evoke memories of who they once were.

Let these interactions expose the conflict between the villain’s desire for power and the remnants of their former, more innocent self.

Remember:

The key to authentic internal conflict is subtlety. Let these emotions simmer beneath the surface, influencing every decision without overtly stating them.

Experiment relentlessly—let your villain’s inner struggle fuel the narrative and add depth to their character arc.

Let your villain be the dark heart of your story, pulsing with all the ambiguities of a lost soul caught between redemption and damnation. Happy writing, and keep weaving that intricate magic! 😊 - Rin T.

[egondalatz]

I read a lot of writing in my line of work and while that’s amazing, I see the same flaws again and again. Below is a list of 7 common writing mistakes in fiction and how you can fix them. This list is by no means complete. In fact there’s a great list over at The Editor’s Blog that covers even more mistakes.

1. Bad dialogue

Sometimes writers can forget that they’re writing a conversation and thus not write a conversation. The dialogue can be boring, stilted and unnatural, and I’d rather listen to the territorial call of an Australian Raven than read one more word of it.

There are many things that contribute to bad dialogue, but here are the three that really get on my nerves:

Not using contractions–I’ve seen work that is modern and still doesn’t use contractions. Consider this: “You are going to be late.” Unless the speaker is trying to sound like an irritated mother and is leaving an emphatic silence between each word to sound threatening, use contractions. It sounds really drawn out and like the speaker is pointing their nose in the air. We generally don’t speak like this in real life, so neither should your characters.

Using complete sentences–Not only is it natural for your characters to chop their sentences, this can also contribute to their voice. Does your character say “I don’t know.” or “Dunno.” Would he/she say “I missed the train and had to find a lift home.” or “Missed the train. Had to find a ride.” In casual speech, we often only use the words necessary to convey our message, even if it doesn’t form a complete sentence. You shouldn’t apply this to every line of dialogue, but consider it if your dialogue sounds stale.

Using characters as a conduit for research and plot information–Sometimes writers like to show off their research (looking at you Jurassic Park), backstory, world building and plot by having their characters talk way too much. If your character says “Once this valley was home to an ancient race of elves, who looked after the land and treated it with respect. One day, the secret magic spring dried up and then the goblins came. Without their magic spring, the elves couldn’t fight back, and they were killed by the goblins. The goblins didn’t respect the land and now it’s uninhabitable.” he should probably shut up. It sounds less like a person talking than it does an audio tour. The information he’s shared could be given in a much more interesting way.

How you can fix it:

Listen to and watch the way real people talk to each other. Do they speak in full sentences with full words? Do they speak with grammatical correctness? Do they speak differently in different situations? How do hand gestures, body language and facial expressions help them communicate?

Read your dialogue out loud as if you’re practising lines for a movie. Does it sound natural? Does it flow?

Test every piece of information your characters give out. Does it all need to be said? Would your character say all of it at once? Do they need to say it all in so many words?

2. Passages of uninterrupted speech or thought

Sometimes you might want to avoid telling the reader about something and have a character tell another character instead. Sometimes you might want to avoid telling the reader how a character feels about something by having them think about it excessively instead. If this goes on for longer than a couple of paragraphs (or less), you risk allowing your reader to drift out of the scene.

The only thing anchoring your reader in the scene is your characters and what they’re doing. If the characters are talking or thinking for a long time without interacting with anyone or anything else, they might as well be floating in space, which can make the reader feel like they’re floating in space. That’s not to say that they’ve forgotten where the scene is taking place or who else is involved, just that it can feel that way if this is how the character acts.

How you can fix it:

If your characters have a lot to say, try to include the other characters as well. Have them ask questions or make comments so it feels like a scene and not a soliloquy.

If your character is around others when he/she is deep in thought, try to include the other characters in some way. If the POV character is thinking about something that the other characters can see, why not give voice to one of the other characters in between thought paragraphs?

If the character is alone when he/she is deep in thought, is there a way they can interact with their environment? Unless they’re standing in front of a wall, they should be able to see, smell, feel or hear something.

If your character is absolutely, completely lost in thought, is there a way you can bring some sort of image into it? For example, on page 216 of The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, Katniss is thinking about how to treat a burn she receives. Almost the entire page is a paragraph describing a memory; however, there is still action in this memory and, therefore, there is something for the reader to imagine.

3. Not knowing when to/not to use said

Some people will tell you to use descriptive speech tags and others will tell you there’s nothing wrong with said. Both are true, but when do you follow the former and when do you follow the latter? And when do you use no speech tags at all?

Using anything but said and using nothing but said both get exhausting and boring very fast.

How you can fix it:

Below is a rough guide to what kind of speech tag to use. Please bear in mind that it is only a guide and will not and should not apply to every situation.

Said is unobtrusive–a way of letting the reader know who’s talking without making a song and dance about it. Specific verbs (e.g. whispered, shouted, mumbled) give the reader information about how the words are being said. Adverbial tags can also give extra information about how something is being said, but more often than not they can be replaced with a stronger verb (e.g. she said loudly can be replaced with she shouted). Writers can also fall into the trap of telling where it’s better to show when using adverbial tags, which can make the writing bland. Sometimes telling is better, but with speech tags, it’s usually better to absorb the reader in the conversation. If you’ve used an adverbial tag, go back and have a look at it. Is there a better way you could get the message across?

What you need to pay attention to when determining what speech tags to use is the context of the speech. If the reader is already aware of the manner in which a character is talking, it won’t be necessary to remind them every time the character speaks. If there are only two characters in the conversation, it won’t be necessary to finish each quote with he said/she said. Going back to #2, you can also do away with speech tags entirely and use action to demonstrate how a character is feeling, while also grounding the reader in the scene.

The key to avoiding repetition and blandness is to find a balance between using the unobtrusive said, using something more specific, and mixing it up with a bit of action, which means you might not even need a tag at all.

4. Too much description/overwriting

Sometimes it’s better to tell and not show. Some details just aren’t important enough to warrant a lengthy description. If you want your reader to know that it’s raining, you can write something better than “It was raining”, but there’s no need to go overboard and write a poem about how the puddles on the asphalt looked like a great abyss.

Think of description like camera focus. The more you describe something, the more focus you put on it. If you put enough focus on something, you eliminate everything else. What’s this? A close-up. What does a close-up in a movie tell you? That object of the close-up is significant.

Be wary: when you write thirty words describing the way the moonlight is reflecting off the inky black lake, you might not be just setting the scene. You might also be giving the lake undue emphasis, and it’s probably going to irritate your reader when they realise there’s nothing significant about the lake at all, you were just showing off your imagery skills.

How you can fix it:

Keep it real. What would the character notice, what would they think about it and is it worth the attention? And try not to focus on sight. Your characters have more than one way to perceive their environment, and incorporating their other senses can help build a 3D setting for your reader rather than just painting them a picture. Give the reader enough to imagine the scene, and no more.

5. Not knowing when to/not to use adverbs

There’s a lot of writing advice out there that will tell you to cut all adverbs. The result is that many writers now think adverbs exist only to eat their children and wouldn’t dare to ever use one.

There is truth to the advice, but to say “The road to hell is paved with adverbs”? Really, Stephen King? And his dandelion analogy assumes there’s no editing process.

Adverbs aren’t evil, but there is such a thing as using them ineffectively. Which of the below are more descriptive?

She ran quickly or She sprinted

“It’s a long way down,” he said nervously or “It’s a long way down,” he said

He was shamefully prone to anxiety or He was prone to anxiety

She sprinted not only gets to the point faster, it also creates a more powerful image for the reader. “It’s a long way down,” he said gives no indication of how the speaker is speaking or feeling; however, “It’s a long way down,” he said nervously is telling, not showing. Rather than using an adverb here, the writer could describe the speaker’s body language. He was shamefully prone to anxiety tells you how the character feels about being prone to anxiety and there is no stronger word to replace “shamefully prone”.

How you can fix it:

Ask yourself:

How would the meaning of the sentence change if the adverb was removed?

Can the adverb and verb be replaced by a single verb?

Does the action really need clarification?

Does the adverb add something to the sentence that can’t be described in another way?

6. No conflict in the beginning

The first few chapters of a lot of stories I’ve read involve the main character plodding along in their daily life. This is a good thing as the reader needs to get a feel for your character before the big plot things happen, but that doesn’t mean the first few chapters should be without conflict. I don’t want to read about a character waking up, looking at themselves in the mirror, getting dressed, getting coffee, going to work, getting home, going on a date etc. for three chapters. It’s boring and I don’t care about any of it.

The confusion might be caused by common story structure theories that say the main conflict enters the story at the first plot point, or 25% into the story. But this doesn’t mean there should be zero conflict at the beginning! At the beginning of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone Harry was told ‘no funny business’ or he’d be grounded. Not long after that, there was some vanishing glass and an escaped boa constrictor. After this happened there was a mysterious letter addressed to Harry, and he spent an entire chapter trying to get hold of it as the weirdness escalated. There’s conflict and a goal right off the bat, and the story hasn’t even really started yet. In The Hunger Games Katniss faces the Reaping. In The Hobbit Bilbo finds himself hosting a dinner party for dwarfs and being asked to go and fight a dragon.

How you can fix it:

Take a look at all the books you’ve read. Most of them (if not all) start with some sort of problem or goal. Study up on this to help you realise what makes a good beginning.

Don’t fill your first few chapters with characterisation and nothing else. Build your character in the context of a problem or goal.

Keep in mind that you find your characters more interesting than your reader does. What you like about your character might not be enough to keep the reader’s interest.

What’s going on in your character’s life? How is this going to influence what happens when the conflict or story goal takes the stage?

What would happen if you cut your beginning out of the story? Would the plot still make sense? Maybe it’s better to start the story at a later point.

7. Lack of story structure

When you write a first draft, whether you’ve planned it or not, there are going to be structural flaws. Maybe halfway through you thought of a way to solidify a character’s motivation. Maybe at the climax you thought of a way to strengthen your conflict. Maybe somewhere in the middle you had no idea where you were going with this and slugged your way through some boring scenes. It’s all good; this is how stories come together.

What should happen next is that you revise your draft with story structure in mind. There’ll be a lot of “I should add a scene here about this” and “what was I thinking when I wrote that?” and after a few goes, you’ll have a story.

Writers don’t always do this though (which, by the way, makes my job take longer and cost more). They’ll go through and fix all of the obvious problems, but what remains is a manuscript that still lacks a solid structure. It’s messy to read, it’s confusing, it’s clearly not thought out, and it feels like the writer is giving me the finger. I’ll regret paying for the book, stop reading it and leave a negative review on Goodreads. Is that worth not giving your book a good edit?

How you can fix it:

Read a lot. Make sure you have a decent grasp on different story structures. Make sure you understand the way stories progress, the way they’re paced and what keeps the reader engaged.

Re-outline. Or if you pantsed your way through the first draft, make an outline. Write a checklist for what each scene should accomplish and what each chapter should accomplish. Make a timeline of how the events progress and how the tension increases. Don’t base this on what you’ve written, base it on what you’ve figured out about your plot.

Edit ruthlessly. If a scene doesn’t measure up to your new plan, cut it. If it’s in the wrong place, move it.

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Softness Turned Sinister (Character Traits)

Love turning into obsession They start by wanting to be close to them. Then, they want to know everything, every thought, every movement, every breath. Love shouldn’t feel like possession, but theirs does. And It doesn’t even feel wrong.

Loyalty turning into willing servitude At first, it’s devotion. Unwavering support. But somewhere along the way, it stops being a choice. They would do anything for this person. Even things that make their stomach turn. Even things they swore they never would.

Curiosity turning into obsessionThey just wanted to understand. To know more. But knowledge is addictive. And when you start pulling at certain threads, the whole world starts unraveling. Some doors, once opened, refuse to close.

Empathy turning into self-sacrifice They feel everything. Other people’s pain. Their suffering. And it twists inside them until they’d rather take the hurt themselves than watch someone else bear it. Even if it means destroying themselves completely.

Hope turning into delusion They refuse to give up on them. Refuse to believe they can’t be saved. No matter what they do, no matter how much it hurts, they keep believing. Even when the truth is staring them in the face... Some people aren’t meant to be saved.

Patience turning into endurance of abuse"They didn’t mean it." "They’re just struggling." "It will get better." Patience keeps them waiting. Hoping. Making excuses. Until one day, they look in the mirror and realize, there’s nothing left of the person they used to be.

Generosity turning into power They give. And give. And give. But not because they’re kind. Because they want something in return. Because there’s a weight to every gift, a silent contract no one realizes they’ve signed. Until it’s too late.

Bravery turning into recklessnessThey stop feeling fear. Stop caring about consequences. What starts as courage morphs into something else, a desperate, manic need to prove they are untouchable. Until the moment they realize, they’re not.

Innocence turning into cruelty They used to be gentle. Sweet. The kind of person who never hurt anyone. But kindness is fragile. And when the world broke them, they didn’t just break. They shattered. And now, they want the world to hurt the way they did.

Protectiveness turning into violenceThey said they’d do anything to keep them safe. And they meant it. Even if it means hurting people. Even if it means killing people. Because if love is a battlefield, then they have already decided, they refuse to lose.

Charm turning into manipulation They know exactly what to say. What to do. How to make people want them, trust them, follow them. It’s not a gift, it’s a weapon. And they use it without hesitation.

Honesty turning into crueltyThey don’t lie. Ever. But the truth can be just as sharp as a blade. They don’t sugarcoat. They don’t soften the blow. They enjoy watching the way people flinch when they say exactly what they mean.

Here’s the Show, Don’t Tell freebie book and my newsletter.

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Rachel 'Dash' Dashner by Katnay [Commission]

Thank you so much @jkatnay! ^^

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Evening study

All three of them are all part of a study group in the magic university

YCH commission for RoidhFox

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Patreon Reward

Februarys reward for foutoukree, thank you for your support!

Support me on Patreon if you enjoy my work~ https://patreon.com/ScarletEclipseArt

Posted using PostyBirb

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Archetype Explained - The Sidekick

The best friend. The comic relief. The one person who sticks around while the hero makes questionable decisions and somehow still has the energy to be supportive. This character is the emotional glue holding everything together, yet, somehow they never get the credit they deserve.

Sidekicks are often written as the loyal shadow, funny, dependable, always there to help. And that’s the problem. They exist only to make the hero’s story better. They have no arc of their own, no life outside of following the protagonist around, and worst of all their entire personality is just… supportive.

Sidekicks need a reason to be there. If the only thing keeping your sidekick in the story is that they’re the “best friend,” you need to dig deeper. Why are they sticking around? What’s in this for them? Do they believe in the hero’s mission? Are they here out of obligation? Are they just too stubborn to leave?

Sidekicks deserve their own damn story. Why is the hero always the hero? Why wasn’t the sidekick the chosen one? What if they secretly resent the hero? What if they’re more capable, more intelligent, or just flat-out better than the protagonist but got stuck in the background? What happens when they get tired of always being second place?

A great sidekick should challenge the hero. They should disagree with them. Call them out on their bullsht. Make them rethink their choices. Because real friends don’t just nod and go, "Yes, hero, you’re so brave and wise." They throw a reality check in their face when needed.

And What if they leave? Seriously. Sidekicks are usually stuck in the “loyal forever” role, but what if they quit? What if they’re done playing the support system? What if they look at the hero and say, "You know what? Figure this out on your own." Imagine what that does to the story. Imagine how much the hero would struggle without them.

Oh, and before we wrap this up, Stop making sidekicks immune to plot consequences. They shouldn’t just be there to cheer the hero up when things get rough, they should be affected by the story. Give them their own arcs, their own losses, their own mistakes. Let them screw up. Let them change.

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Archetypes Explained - The Villain

The Villain, is the one character who makes the hero’s life a living hell just because they can. Maybe they want power, maybe they want revenge, maybe they just enjoy a little (or a lot of) destruction. Either way, they’re the reason we have a story.

And yet, so many villains are the worst. And not in a good way. They’re predictable. One-dimensional mustache-twirling maniacs whose entire personality is "I am evil because I am evil".

Villains don’t think they’re villains. This is the golden rule. No villain wakes up in the morning, stretches, and says, "Ah yes, another day of being irredeemably evil. Can’t wait to destroy some innocent lives over breakfast." No. The best villains believe they are right. They justify their actions. They have reasons. Even if they’re twisted, even if they’re completely wrong, they believe in what they’re doing.

Maybe they were wronged. Maybe they think the world is broken and they’re just fixing it. Maybe they’re a former hero who saw too much, lost too much, and snapped. Whatever it is, make sure their actions make sense.

In Fact, the most compelling villains aren’t just generic "bad guys." They’re the ones who get under the hero’s skin. Maybe they used to be best friends. Maybe they know the hero’s deepest fear. Maybe they represent everything the hero is afraid of becoming. Give them a connection. Give them history. Because nothing stings like betrayal.

And for the love of plot twists, make them capable. A villain who loses every time is not a villain, they’re an annoyance. The best villains are smart. They’re strong. They win sometimes. They put the hero through absolute hell. Because the harder the hero has to fight, the more satisfying it is when they finally succeed.

Also: Let them have fun. Seriously. Nothing is worse than a villain who’s boring. Give them a sense of humor, some charisma, a little flair. Let them enjoy being the worst person in the room And finally Give them a moment where we almost agree with them. You don’t have to make them redeemable. You don’t have to make them tragic. But if there’s one moment, just one, where the reader pauses and thinks, "Wait… do they have a point?" That’s the villain that sticks with us.

Because the best villains aren’t the ones we hate. They’re the ones we can’t stop thinking about.

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Fair Use in Novels

I often get questions from Anons asking me what is appropriate to use in a novel, from song quotes to character names of wildly popular characters from other books (names that are obviously more unique than just Sarah or Alice or Amelia). So I’m going to lay the groundwork of what writers can and can’t use in their novels—or for their novels.

Quotes from song lyrics. You can’t do this. Period. If you want to use quoted song lyrics, you would have to get permission from the artists themselves—and you would likely have to pay a heady sum of money to obtain that permission. A big part of the reason why you can’t do this is because song lyrics are often so short in the first place, and if you misquote even one word, you run the risk of being sued. In fact, you run the risk of being sued period if your book is somehow published with quoted song lyrics from an actual band. 

Names of fictional characters. One Anon asked me if he or she could use a fictional character’s name as a nickname for one of his/her characters. As far as I know, this is not copyright infringement, especially if the character whose nicknamed Harry Potter does not in anyway resemble the actual Harry Potter. It is also not copyright infringement to use a fictional character’s name in passing. For example, in Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick, Leonard frequently mentions Holden Caulfield as a comparison to himself. Holden Caulfield, however, is not an actual character in the book. There’s also the question of cameos, and whether or not a writer can use an actual character as a cameo in the book. This is on shaky ground, because using a published fictional character as a cameo technically is not copyright infringement, until that character actually starts talking. However, from the article I linked to you, you still run the risk of being sued. Fan fiction is an entirely different matter, as most writers don’t profit from this work, and authors want to please enthusiastic readers. (I would both cry and feel EXTREMELY flattered if someone were to ever write a fanfiction of my book, When Stars Die.)

Public domain. Any book before 1923 is fair use. Granted this does not mean you can re-write the entire book. Basically this means you can quote these works, while attributing their authors to them, in your novels. Frenchie,from Death, Dickinson, and the Demented Life of Frenchie Garcia by Jenny Torres Sanchez, frequently talks about Emily Dickinson and quotes her as well. Libba Bray puts a part of Tennyson’s poem, The Lady of Shallot, in A Great and Terrible Beauty. And when I do revisions for my novels, I’d like for my protagonist to quote parts of Edgar Allen Poe. 

Titles. You don’t need permission to use song titles, movie titles, book titles, television titles, and so on and so forth. You can also include the names of things, place, and events and people in your work without permission. I mention Paula Dean in brief passing in the current work I’m writing, because she owns a restaurant in Savannah, Georgia, the place my character lives. 

Pictures. I’m primarily talking about if you’re self-publishing or are allowed to work with your publisher (usually small press) on designing the cover. ANY stock photos listed on any stock photo website is fair game and can be photoshopped as much as you want to. However, you often have to buy these photos, but once you pay for them, they are yours to do with what you want. Unfortunately, you run the risk of having a similar book cover as another book, especially if you don’t do too much to that image beyond slapping your name and title of the book on it. The cover for When Stars Die received a heavy makeover, so it is not likely that I will find another book using my exact cover. I may find a book using the girl on the cover, but the plum blossoms, the colors, how the girl was edited, and my title and name are probably going to be next to impossible to find on another book. 

Quoting famous people. If the quote from, let’s say, a famous speech in the past, is over 100 years old, that work is likely in the public domain, so it’s fair to use quotes from  Georgie Washington or another popular figure. 

Referencing facts. If you’re referencing facts, like how the universe was made, this is not copyright infringement—they are unadorned facts. For the current novel I’m working on, I did use a website to help Gene’s teacher explain black holes, because Gene uses black holes as a motif to describe how people can have an effect on one another. However, because this is knowledge that you can pick up from any text book or even an astronomy class you took, I don’t need to quote the source I took it from because I did not repeat word-for-word what that website said. The website simply listed facts that you can find anywhere from a legitimate source. 

Using quotes from TV, films, or advertising. These are copyrighted, so don’t use them, unless you want to get sued. 

For now, these are the only points I can think of on what writers are allowed to use and not use in their novels. If someone can think of anything more, feel free to re-blog and add to this list!

Ask Box is always open, and I think this is the last day for my book/Amazon gift card giveaway, so you better enter while you can!