egodoll

[egodoll]

white day with @virtuepoint

it’s march 13th—the day before white day. doah’s exhausted after the fourteen-hour flight back from milan fashion week, but even her exhaustion can’t prevent her from celebrating the holiday by lounging on her couch with a romantic comedy playing on her television—wallowing in her own self-pity while endlessly shovelling chocolates into her mouth. chocolates she unfortunately had to buy herself.

doah doesn’t like to be reminded that she’s single. call her desperate, call her needy, call her co-dependent—she’ll likely admit to all of it. doah’s always been somewhat of a hopeless romantic, and she’s never been ashamed of it—for the most part, anyway. love, money, and fame—those are the three things doah wants the most in life. so, holidays like this that remind her that she’s painfully single irritate her to no end. still, she likes to celebrate them in her own way—usually by self-inserting herself into her favorite romantic comedy and stuffing her face with her favorite candy.

so, that was doah’s plan for tonight. haute pink leaves for manila tomorrow night, which means doah has less than twenty-four hours to enjoy some alone time—and less than twenty-fours to find some way to keep herself calm during the next four days.

but just as matthew mcconaughey leans in to steal a kiss from kate hudson, a loud ding! from her phone pulls her out of her self-insert fantasy. there’s already a pout tugging at her lips as she reaches for her phone—which only deepens when doah sees the name behind the notification. 

han seowon.

doah scowls as she glares down at her phone—irritation coloring her features as she debates swiping the notification away and putting her phone on mute. you see, doah thought there was a little something between the two of them—something fun, something flirtatious. when seowon promised to “make it up to her,” doah had expected him to keep that promise—but all seowon had done since that day was reject her every attempt to flirt with him. and sure, doah knows that not everyone will like her—even if she doesn’t understand why someone wouldn’t—but she was under the impression seowon wanted to flirt with her. he asked her about the kind of men she dated, asked her for her number, promised to make it up to her—what kind of person would lead a pretty girl on like this? doah starts to wonder how seowon even got that “nation’s boyfriend” title—does he treat his fans like this, too?

so, she debates ignoring his text and going back to her movie—but she can’t ignore the curiosity that gnaws at her as she glares down at her phone. what could seowon possibly have to say to her at this hour? there’s a small huff that leaves her lips as she unlocks her phone—feeling even more annoyed by how curious seowon has made her. her eyes scan the contents of his message over, and over, and over again—brows furrowing as she thinks about what his text could possibly mean.

from: han seowon   ↪️ 12:15am: sbn, are u awake????   ↪️ 12:15am: can u maybe come to the company building

doah tries to make sense of his request, but she can’t. seowon has spent the last two weeks brushing off her flirtations and leaving her on delivered—and now he’s suddenly calling her to the company building at midnight? if she had a little more willpower, she’d ignore his message and go back to her movie—but doah’s never had much willpower. so, she pauses the movie on matthew mcconaughey’s perfect face—lifting herself off the couch with an exaggerated sigh. she gives herself an once-over in the mirror that sits in her foyer—dabbing a smidge of tinted balm to her lips and slipping a jacket over her pajamas. briefly, she debates getting changed, but ultimately decides against it. if you don't look too hard, the pajamas she’s wearing could pass as cute athletic wear—and she doubts the company building will be crowded this late at night, so she decides not to bother. besides, seowon’s made it painfully obvious that he’s not interested in her—so why would she bother looking pretty for him?

the cab she calls gets her to the company headquarters in a little under twenty minutes—and she’s greeted with a gust of cold air when she steps out of the car. she wraps her arms tight around her torso as she scurries into the building—already sporting an irritated expression. she pulls out her phone to text seowon, trying her very best to suppress the pout that tugs at her lips.

to: han seowon   ↪️ 12:33am: i'm in the lobby   ↪️ 12:33am: where r u???

[egodoll]

도아 (DOAH) just made a post!

doah counting down the days until we meet again~ 🤍💋

View comments…

doahsupremacy: prettiest girl in the whole world 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💞 naturalaegyo: UNNIEEEE HAVE MERCY ON MY HEART F*CK doahgosolo: please be a solo comeback please be a solo comeback please be a solo comeback please be a solo comeback i can't take another haute pink comeback doah ↪️ hautieworld: please take ur solo stan bs elsewhere 😒 ↪️ hautesummer: ijbol you act like they ever have more than one group comeback a year 😭 swarvoskicowboy: 😍😍😍🤍🤍🤍 doahmination: MY MISS KOREAAAAA minnie: #needthat (the fit) ↪️ midastrash: my midas family 🥹🩷 hautetopic: wait... do we get to see u on stage again soon?! 🥹 ↪️ ItGirlHani: nobody wants to see that flop make a comeback 😬 ↪️ doahmination: flop? she literally has made more comebacks than ur fave 😭 hautieworld: try not to say PRINCESS challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

[egodoll]

crybaby open starter (for non-haute pink members)

it’s not quite comeback season, but it damn near feels like it with the amount of schedules midas music has shoved haute pink into—and honestly speaking? doah’s less than thrilled to spend this much time with her members. their seventh anniversary is approaching, and doah knows that means sappy, sugary-sweet group content to reassure their fans that contract renewals are going just fine, but having to pretend like one of her members isn’t a backstabbing bitch is pretty fucking exhausting. and the cherry on top of all of this? the backstabbing bitch in question is the member hauties think she’s the closest to—and to suddenly distance herself from hani would send the fandom into a complete and utter panic, so doah has no choice but to dance with the devil. 

sometimes, the devil is a five-foot-six bottle blonde.

but playing pretend is so fucking exhausting—and doah can feel her stress level rising with every second they spend together. and as if things couldn’t get any worse, she noticed a pimple on her jawline this morning. so, doah thinks she should spend her day-off doing some much-needed self-care—and what better way to treat yourself than to a marathon of your favorite romantic comedies? 

and luckily for doah, there’s a cinema near her apartment complex that happens to be screening some of her favorite films. maybe, just maybe, there is a god—and maybe he likes doah a little more today. so, doah catches a cab to the cinema—pulls her cap down over her eyes and buries her face in her turtleneck, quietly secures herself a small popcorn and a drink, and settles into the back row of the theater. the first movie starts, and doah notices she has the theater to herself—a realization that makes her remove her cap and lower her turtleneck. and since she has the theater to herself, doah doesn’t hide her reactions—letting out girlish giggles and audible gasps at every kiss scene.

but for some reason, doah finds herself crying at the end of the first film. she isn’t entirely sure why—but the credits begin to roll, and a loud sob bubbles past her lips. doah’s hands immediately raise to cover her face—letting out a string of muffled sobs as she hides behind her palms. 

doah realizes she isn’t alone when someone reaches out, touches her arm, and hands her a napkin. she lowers her palms from her tear-stained face—a scarlet flush decorating her cheeks. sheepishly, she accepts the napkin—dabbing at her damp cheeks while avoiding their eyes.

“i didn’t think anyone else was here.”

a sniffle, followed by a brief pause. her gaze suddenly flickers upwards—and she glares up at them, a small scowl enveloping glossed lips.

“if you tell anyone you saw me crying like this, i’ll kill you.”

[egodoll]

PROMPT SIX: muse playlist.

#EGODOLL: it's so confusing sometimes to be a girl,

001. are you satisfied?, marina

high achiever, don't you see? / baby, nothing comes for free / they say i'm a control freak, driven by a greed to succeed / nobody can stop me

doah's main concern in life is making her parents proud. making her parents proud means succeeding at all costs—even if it means constantly fighting with your sisters to remain on top.

002. oh no!, marina

one track mind, one track heart / if i fail, i'll fall apart / maybe it is all a test / 'cause i feel like i'm the worst / so i always act like i'm the best

most people see doah as someone self-absorbed, egotistical... and well, yes! she is! but her confidence is rather... fragile. while she is confident and does love herself (most of the time), she overcompensates for the insecurity that midas' cutthroat training environment instilled in her by acting like she's the best—by being so comically vain.

003. so hot you're hurting my feelings, caroline polachek

i cry on the dance floor, it's so embarrassing / don't send me photos, you're makin' it worse / 'cause you're so hot, it's hurtin' my feelings

this is one's a bit unserious, but this is very much the attitude doah has when she's attracted or in love with someone! i think it very much summarizes her personality and way of thinking lmaooo she's just a girl...

004. girl, so confusing, charli xcx & lorde

people say we're alike, they say we got the same hair / it's you and me on the coin the industry loves to spend

@honeyhues... this one's for hani 🩷 being compared so heavily to the girl you thought of as your best friend, as your sister... well, it's a different kind of pain. a pain that midas (and the industry, and netizens) unfortunately loved to exploit!

005. sympathy is a knife, charli xcx & ariana grande

it's a knife when a friend is suddenly steppin' on your throat / it's a knife when you're finally on top / 'cause logically the next step is they wanna see you fall, fall, fall

the realization that being on top doesn't mean being protected, being safe—the higher you fly, the harder they fall. she never believed in that saying until it happened to her.

006. everything is romantic, charli xcx & caroline polachek

i'm tryin' to shut off my brain, i'm thinking 'bout work all the time / it's like you're living the dream, but you're not living your life

when she was the favorite, when she was on top—she was living the dream, but she was always thinking about work, thinking about what she should do next, thinking about how she could protect her spot at the top. she was living the dream, but it was eating her up on the inside.

007. mood ring, lorde

i'm tryna get well from the inside / plants and celebrity news / all the vitamins i consume / let's fly somewhere eastern, they'll have what i need

losing her spot as midas' favorite wasn't easy for doah. honestly, it broke her—and it still tears her up inside. but doah isn't really that equipped to deal with such strong, devastating emotions—and i do think she tried to employ some magical, spiritual thinking at some point to make herself better...

008. my kink is karma, chappell roan

oh god, and it's coming around / yeah, it's coming around, oh god / people say i'm jealous, but my kink is karma

...but spiritual thinking didn't really help doah! instead, doah's decided to seek comfort in something else—in the good ol' saying "what goes around, comes back around." at her core, doah is extremely petty—and she wants nothing more than to see those who hurt her get hurt right back.

009. 15 minutes, sabrina carpenter

when my time's up, baby / i'll leak some pictures, maybe say somethin' batshit crazy / i'll do it, don't you make me

as i said, shin doah is petty. a spoiled little rich girl at her core, she's very used to getting her way, and she's not that fond of things not going her way. the idea of her "15 minutes" being up does not sit well with her, and she's not going to sit back and let it happen so easily—even if her initial response to her fall was wallowing in her own self-pity. now, she's feeling a bit vengeful about the whole ordeal—and more than willing to do something "batshit crazy" to get her spot back.

010. this is why we can't have nice things, taylor swift

why'd you have to go and rain on my parade? / you stabbed me in the back while shakin' my hand / and therein lies the issue, friends don't try to trick you / get you on the phone and mind-twist you / so i took an axe to a mended fence

@honeyhues... this one's for hani too 🩷 yeah... this song very much summarizes how she feels about hani... i think, right now, doah has metaphorically took an axe to their friendship. she doesn't really see a way for their friendship to be mended... forgiveness is Very, very, very out of reach for doah right now... she 100% blames hani for everything (as she kinda should... but she probably blames her for shit she has nothing to do with, too)... idk... she's just feeling very petty and bitter towards hani! that's it! that's the analysis!

011. look what you made me do, taylor swift

and then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure / maybe i got mine, but you'll all get yours

@honeyhues @.chotaejoon @.goeunsung... as i said, she's feeling very petty, very bitter, very betrayed by this situation and she's not going to rest until she gets back on top! revenge is her sweetest joy!

012. true story, ariana grande

i'll play the villain if you need me to / i'll play whatever part you need me to / and i'll be good in it, too

@.midaslabels @.chotaejoon @.goeunsung @.thepublic... this summarizes her desperation to be loved, to be on top, to have that attention, to be the favorite... doah needs to be the best, she needs to succeed, she needs to make her parents proud... and she's willing to play whatever part they ask her to get back on top, to make them all proud

013. handlebars, jennie & dua lipa

i trip and fall in love, just like a tuesday drunk / i always go all in, all in, all in / over the handlebars, hitting the ground so hard / if i'm alone, i'm fallin', fallin', fallin'

this is how doah loves: she falls hard and fast—and she doesn't like to be alone. all doah has ever wanted—aside from making her parents proud—is to love and be loved, and when she's single, it weighs on her more than it should.

being so desperate for love, and falling in love so hard and fast—it's made doah a little co-dependent in both relationships and friendships. she's the type of girl that hangs onto friendships with her exes because she can't bare to let them go entirely. it's also led to her jumping into relationships very quickly—only for those people to be entirely the wrong person for her.

her desperation for love doesn't end at just romantic love. she wants to be loved by her friends, by her fans, by the public, by the executives. she just wants to love, to be loved, to feel loved—or else she feels empty.

014. jealousy, jealousy, olivia rodrigo

i know their beauty's not my lack / but it feels like that weight is on my back / and i can't let it go / co-comparison is killing me slowly

this is the thought that keeps her up at night—that maybe the reason she lost that spot is not only because of hani's backstabbing—maybe she's lacking something. maybe she's no longer good enough. maybe she's not capable of the best.

when she was on top, being compared to hani—or the other girls—didn't bother her. the comparisons always leaned in her favor, so she didn't bat an eye. but now these comparisons—they weigh on her, and she finds herself questioning everything she used to be so confident about.

not that she'll ever admit that.

015. i might say something stupid, charli xcx

i go so cold, i go so cold / 'cause i don't know if i belong here anymore

how doah feels about haute pink if she were to answer honestly. or the realization that doah doesn't feel like she can trust anyone anymore.

[egodoll]

OUTGOING MSG / to han seowon

12:05 PM: 🙄

12:06 PM: making it up to me is on ur mind?

12:06 PM: does that mean i've been on ur mind?

12:07 PM: when's ur cb anyway? do u like the song?

12:07 PM: i guess that means u'll be busy these next few weeks?

OUTGOING MSG / to Haute Pink Shin Doah

12:03 PM: oh 😭 sorry for leaving u hanging, sbn

12:03 PM: lol u do have my word. been busy w cb stuff (not an excuse) but making up to u is on my mind! 😊

12:04 PM: i’d never forget about it/u

[egodoll]

[   !   ]   TRENDING AT #2

These photos of Doah at the MiuMiu fashion show in Milan are f*cking legendary… how does she manage to make a cowboy hat look so good???

Seriously, Midas hit daebak when they casted Shin Doah… 

[   POST RESPONSE   ]  + 416, - 99

[IServePrincessDoah]: how can someone look like this??? unnie-yah, save some beauty for the rest of usㅠㅠㅠ [phaze0ne]: seriously, midas better give her a summer comeback… it's not summer without doah ‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤ[HaniOnTop]: doah's comebacks are a f*cking snoozefest… that's why hani's getting the summer comeback this time ㅋㅋㅋ [HauteGirlSummer]: she seriously looks like a barbie dollㅠㅠㅠ midas, please give doah a comeback with this stylingㅠㅠㅠ [DoahGoSolo]: what is midas doing??? we need a doah comeback with this concept… why is jules getting a comeback before doah??? ‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤ[dresslikecrazy]: ??? she already has 3 solos ??? just big and greedy [sk00l17]: someone who saw doah leaving her hotel said she was talking to a male celebrity on facetime ㅋㅋㅋ ‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤ[IServePrincessDoah]: so now we're just believing whatever those f*cking stalkers say??? ‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤ[DoahGoSolo]: you're a f*cking marisol stan, aren't you? stop trying to drag doah down with these nonsense rumors ㅋㅋ this was already debunked. she was facetiming her dad

[egodoll]

(230602) Miyeon — Queencard

[egodoll]

hi... gem (@rottensdoll & @kissedprint) again... reposting my intros since tumblr hates mine amd my muses' asses and forced me to move blogs! if you're seeing this post for the first time, feel free to leave a 🩷 and ill message u to plot—discord and ims r both ok! if ur seeing this again... PLEASE IGNORE THIS im embarrassed 🩷 ok lets get into it (again!)

i. history

shin doah is an only child. born to parents who tried for years and years to conceive, she was considered their miracle baby.

since she was their miracle baby, she was spoiled. endlessly. she was spoiled with affection, gifts, praise, you name it. if doah wanted it, she got it.

the downside of being the spoiled only child was that doah ended up carrying the weight of her parents’ expectations all by herself. poor little spoiled rich girl ik! but they really had big expectations for her, and the pressure doah felt to succeed was almost suffocating. she was very attached to her parents, so the fear of disappointing them really was terrifying.

spoiled as fuck + constant pressure to make her parents proud = doah’s a perfectionist who thinks she should deserves to get everything she wants and won't rest until she gets exactly what she wants.

her parents weren’t really good at setting her up for failure either. they never sat her down and told her it’s ok if u fail! u can try again! ur not gonna be good at everything!

instead they pressured her to do well and kind of planted the idea in her head that she’s a star! she deserves to get whatever she wants! put a huge emphasis on the family name and that her success is their success... that u should always succeed on the first try... that u cant embarrass us or tarnish the family name... etc etc etc etc...

they weren’t mean? they were loving but like. very critical when she didnt do things well. very quick to express their disappointment. n doah really didnt like how that felt, so now its a fear she still carries despite being a grown ass woman!

so… doah was raised to be spoiled, obnoxious, a perfectionist, and deeply afraid of letting her parents down. yay!

since she was never really taught that failure is ok, she never learned how to accept failure. not knowing how to accept failure has led to her learning to scheme and play dirty to make sure she succeeds

ii. personality

allow me to share a doah moodboard so u can really understand her vibe:

personality-wise, doah’s very. obnoxious. dramatic. annoying as fuck. has a very short temper and gets offended very easily. starts a lot of petty arguments that she cant finish bc she gets offended over the dumbest shit. can dish it out but she can’t take it. she’s a girl of extremes, basically. a bit comically vain

very much inspired by the likes of blair waldorf and cassie howard… brooke davis and summer roberts too? every 00s icon basically…

as mentioned above… doah grew up coddled and spoiled by her parents, and it shows through her personality. she was raised to believe she can and should have everything she wants, that she can and should be loved and worshipped by everyone… so she kind of excepts it, and definitely doesn’t like it when that’s not the case

i think training in such a cutthroat environment like midas made doah…  insecure? not that she ever really lets it show, but it did foster some anxiety and insecurity within her that she really isn’t sure how to deal with.. especially when she already has such an overwhelming fear of letting her parents down. definitely overcompensates for it with that comical vanity — but there are plenty of moments where it shines through, like her competitiveness with her fellow members and how easily defensive & dramatic she can be at even the slightest criticism

as a trainee and during her first few years in haute pink, she sometimes schemed to get her way but overall, she worked hard to earn her position as midas’ favorite, but now that she’s lost that title… she’s grown bitter, petty, vengeful… now she just… doesn’t really care about playing nice? she just wants to be on top again, and she’ll do what it takes to get back on top

the members themselves have probably noticed the lack of effort she puts into group activities in comparison to the effort she gives her solo activities, and she’s definitely a little more difficult to work with now that she’s harboring so much resentment and bitterness. she’s rly become a lot more selfish now that she’s lost her title as the favorite — not that she was ever really selfless (she wasnt!), but now she’s stopped caring about playing nice

that being said, she is usually a pro at playing nice in front of the cameras. probably to the point that it pisses off the other haute pink members bc she’s just so fake in those moments… but she’s a natural entertainer, so it’s easy for her to play nice with the girls (or with anyone she has an issue with) when her individual reputation is at stake

ok but she does have a heart! she’s actually quite the softie when she gets close to u… whether that’s romantically or platonically, she really can be a softie. she has a very deep desire for love in all forms… and ik ur saying “but her parents love her” AND OK YES BUT she was so spoiled as a kid and was taught that she deserves everything… was always told that one day she’s gonna be the brightest star in the universe and have a fairytale romance like her parents… so shes desperate to make that come true, is very desperate for that love and admiration. shes also a bit childish if u cant tell… really never grew up that much

but when she’s close to u… she’s a softie! very bubbly, very charismatic, shes a girly girl and while shes definitely… got her issues with seeing other women as competition (BLAME MIDAS!!!), she would be a ride or die for any girl that managed to break down her walls tbh

despite her many, many, many flaws, doah really and truly is someone who just desperately wants to be loved. though she was spoiled endlessly by her parents, she was also undermined and criticized a lot of the time (and constantly reminded that she had to make them proud as the only child), which made her desperate for validation. this was only made worse by the insecurities that blossomed during her time in haute pink, so she’s rly just desperate to be loved. she’s sensitive and, to the right people, she can be loving and fiercely loyal — but the competitive training environment has hardened her, so her soft side is reserved for only the people closest to her

honestly idk she’s very annoying but she’s also very cute and fun like i like to describe her personality as sweet and sour! bc thats what she is! shes like sour candy… first shes sour then shes sweet 🩷

iii. career & image

has been exploring the variety scene for a bit, and loves it — due to her overdramatic and comically vain nature, she’s a hit on variety shows! she’s not rly afraid to act silly or extra for screentime, and she’s got a persona similar to lee mijoo’s (aka i stole her entire career for doah.. sry mijoo) bit of a gen z icon for how dramatic and extra she is, and for the fact that she very shamelessly flirts with male idols…  but not in a cool, sexy, sirenlike way like miss chaea — it’s all very silly and light and ridiculous and over the top, and over the top is what doah does best!

her image is quintessential haute pink, wears the barbie branding super well. very bright, playful, summery, hyperfeminine… most of her solo work has been very "malibu barbie" coded... this has resulted in ppl thinking this proves her importance as a haute pink member, while others think it proves doah isnt capable of bringing anything of her own to the table

cutie-sexy image, sexualized in a way that u can only see it if u squint... i dont think doah really notices it but she also probably wouldnt care because she likes attention... so

has a male fandom similar to chaewon... liked by men a lot because she's very cute and playful and approachable... so they're a bit crazy about doah LMAO but i also imagine her having fans that hide behind a pfp of her face to live out their mean girl fantasies

iv. wcs

party friends… surface-level friends, catty friendships… all of those would suit doah very well? like i said, she’s inspired loosely by blair waldorf so she’s definitely the type to go shopping w u or invite u for a sleepover even tho she was just talking shit about u 5 mins ago

i would love a close friend who brings out that softer, fiercely loyal side though

a friend who calls her out on her bs would be fun!!! but it cant be someone in haute pink bc she WONT listen to u im sorry

exes… i would like a messy ex or an ex on good terms? an ex who fucking hates her and think she’s a bit crazy or an ex who puts up with all her bullshit despite them being broken up… she’s def the type to call her exes at 3am (or show up to their houses at 3am…) to whine about a problem and theyre just like… doah… We broke up three months ago

flirtationships maybe idk if anyone would even want her like that like god shes annoying… drunk hookups that shes embarrassed about n if they try to remind her abt the fact they hooked up she plays dumb. “ive never even seen u before in my LIFE”

ppl who have seen her drunk and emotional but once again she acts like shes never seen them before in their life (then she shows up drunk on their doorstep at 4am crying about her parents or how midas hates her now… omg… shut her up)

someone who likes her dramatics n gets under her skin on purpose would be fun

enemies n ppl who just hate her bc she deserves it

if u have variety claims, hmu? maybe we can work out something there

[egodoll]

신도아, intro / career / dossier / pinterest

[egodoll]

OUTGOING MSG / from shin doah to han seowon 🤨 (@virtuepoint)

11:49 AM: did u forget ur promise to make it up to me?

11:50 AM: didn't u say i "had ur word"?

11:50 AM: not so sure i can accept ur apology anymore 😒

[egodoll]

doah thinks seowon’s attempt to apologize is sweet, but sweet isn’t really her style—especially after said sweet person rejected her in front of every single one of her colleagues. she bristles when she thinks about it again—and it takes doah every ounce of self-control to stifle the scowl that tugs at her lips. she takes a sip of tea in an attempt to fight it off—but she can’t mask the icy way she glares at him when he starts his apology. 

listen—she can’t be perfect all the time. 

“we’re good,” is all she says in response; her words still dripping with artificial sweetness. she takes another drink of the jasmine tea; forcing her lips into a thin smile as she starts to turn away from him. “thanks for the tea.”

doah wants this conversation to end already—but that doesn’t happen, because seowon laughs at what she says and it makes something warm flutter beneath her chest. she turns to face him with a softened expression—a kittenish smile curling on her lips. “the caliber of men i date?” there’s a teasing lilt to her voice as she repeats his question, scrunching her nose to make it seem like she’s really thinking about it. “i like older men,” she tilts her head; playful, cheeky, bratty. “i like strong men, too. you don’t seem that strong.” she muses; lower lip jutting into a pout. she thinks seowon is fun to tease—so she takes another step towards him as her eyes scan him up and down; her gaze as coy as her smile. she thinks he’d look cute if he blushed—so she lets her gaze linger; her smile growing. “i don’t think you could handle me.”

‘noona’ fall from his lips, and she wrinkles her nose again; another playful pout settling on pink lips. “i don’t like being called noona as much as i like calling someone oppa.” she draws out the syllables with a coquettish smile—before a defeated, dramatic sigh falls from her lips. “see? you’re just too young for me.”

doah knows seowon is only three years younger than her. she also knows that, in the grand scheme of things, three years isn’t that big of a deal. but doah’s traditional—she likes older men. she likes to be taken care of, provided for, treated like the princess she thinks she is—and she just doesn’t think a younger guy can provide that. she wouldn’t know, anyway—because she’s really only ever been with older men. she’s never been been attracted to anything but. doah knows it’s superficial for her to think this way, but is it so wrong for a girl to have preferences? to have needs?

seowon might be too young for her—but doah still thinks he’s cute. and he’s not just cute—seowon’s handsome. stupidly handsome. and it’d be silly if she didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to flirt with someone as handsome as seowon? 

a little bit of flirting never hurt anybody.

so, doah lets the bratty pout return to her lips—gazing up at him through long black lashes as she closes the distance between them once again. “but if you really feel sorry, i’m sure you can think of some way to make it up to me.” she muses; another cheeky smile tugs at her lips. “and if you do manage to make it up to me, i’ll let you call me noona. deal?”

Seowon recognizes Doah’s tone. Sugary sweet, hard boiled, lodged in her throat. He’s heard it being practiced so much by his members that it turns real, and Seowon hears that exact same sound in front of him now. It’s a little crazy, he thinks, being on the receiving end of it– and then he thinks of his fans.

If this is what they’re met with every single time, then Seowon has got to be better for them. Sorry, Doah. His MBTI still has the letter ‘S’ in it.

She’s looking up to him, clearly unhappy, and he’s still thinking of Sweeteas– Seowon’s very aware that this is what made her this prickly in the first place. He’s been in this situation a few times before, where he’s had to apologize for his actions in the name of his fans, but it doesn’t matter. Watching his interactions with others is the very least he can do to repay their love to him– a food truck decorated with his face, birthday advertisements across the country, and so many other forms of their love that he’s received. Seowon can only pray that he returns it enough, that they won’t see how hollow he truly is, and that they won’t let go.

“You weren’t… hurt?” Seowon asks, as if he’s trying to make sense of it himself. “I think you were, sunbae. You seemed pretty… cold to me, for the rest of the shoot. I’m apologizing and I really do mean it.” So please accept it and let’s put it behind us, he thinks, but he doesn’t say it out loud. The distance between them is closed when Doah takes a few steps closer to him, and for some reason, Seowon doesn’t run away from it or shut whatever this is down immediately. She’s so bold with her words that it pulls something in him, makes him want to let go of some parts of himself and indulge.

Seowon guesses that that’s what Doah does to people. Sweet and sour, making you try another bite. Her playfulness comes easily to her. Doah’s a natural entertainer, and not in the way Seowon is where he’s the cookie-cutter image of perfect. There’s something real about her. She doesn’t try too hard. Seowon guesses that that’s what makes her so easy to recognize in the mass array of this industry.

He doesn’t indulge, though. Instead, Seowon plans to interject, eager to continue and make his point. And again, that doesn’t happen, either, because you’re too young for me, Doah whispers to him. And much to his surprise, Seowon lets out a laugh. He looks away and shakes his head, quickly making the calculations. Simple math, but… that’s just three years, right? What’s this girl talking about? “Okay, sunbae. I’m a little curious now,” A light smile is on Seowon’s lips, and he takes a step back as if somebody waved their hand to his face and said hello, Earth to Seowon. “What’s the… calibre of men you usually date, then? S’okay if I drop the honorifics and call you noona, sunbae?”

Doah’s made him comfortable enough to tease her back. If Seowon senses that there needs to be a line put between them, he’ll take that initiative. He has an inkling that this is what most of Doah’s relationships look like, though. This won’t do the both of them any harm.

[egodoll]

bleh-blah-blee with @swandivers

at times like this, doah wonders what she could’ve done to deserve the absolute bullshit god throws at her every. single. day—okay, maybe doah’s been a raging bitch for, like, most of her life—but can bitchiness really be considered some kind of cardinal sin? even if it is one, she’s not even that bitchy. she just likes to argue, and complain, and throw a temper tantrum here and there when something doesn’t go her way—is being sensitive really a crime? doah thinks god really should be a little more forgiving to those with tender hearts and prickly personalities—it’s not like she asked to be this way. isn’t it his fault for making her this way?

point is—doah’s really, really, really upset today. at 8:03 a.m. today, she ordered a caramel latte—nonfat, two pumps of caramel syrup, three shots of espresso, and light foam—and two spinach-and-cheese egg bites. at 8:12 a.m., she received a caramel latte with three pumps of hazelnut syrup—ew!—and a plate of two burnt egg bites. doah knows an incorrect coffee order isn’t the end of the world—even if she thinks it’s an absolutely miserable way to start the day—but it’s all the other terrible things that followed suit that completely ruined her mood, like having to play house with the girl who completely betrayed her trust and watch as haute pink’s fans fawn over her like she’s some kind of perfect little angel—instead of the horrible monster that doah knows she really is. doah thought she could handle playing nice for the cameras—but it’s really starting to get to her now.

it’s 2:14 a.m. now—and doah’s decided tonight’s the perfect night to get drunk in jihan’s living room. doah didn’t text jihan beforehand to let him know that she’s coming over—she never does. instead, she calls a taxi to her place and gives the driver jihan’s address—holding a paper bag stuffed with bottles of fruit soju close to her chest. doah’s not really sure if jihan even likes fruit soju, but it’s the only kind doah likes to drink—and jihan’s never complained about it before, so she decides to live a little selfishly and assumes he’s fine with it.

when the taxi pulls up at jihan’s apartment building, she mumbles a quiet ‘thank you’ to the driver and pulls her pink cap down over her eyes; scurrying out of the car and into the building’s lobby. she punches in his buzzer code and hugs the paper bag a little closer to her chest—suddenly regretting her decision to not dress for the winter weather when her teeth begin to chatter. jihan picks up, and doah huffs dramatically, the childish pout on her lips evident in her voice as she greets him in typical doah fashion:

“do jihan! let me in before i freeze to death!”

[egodoll]

I will serve cunt again just give me a Minute

[egodoll]

[egodoll]

BLAIR WALDORF GOSSIP GIRL 5x12 | “Father and the Bride”