eggcrankinass-blog

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 Hell no. She was even more annoying now that she was talking. Maybe Caliborn should of left her to her wallowing. Disgusting. What was his face? She should really take a look at her own. The stupidest thing was, this bitch thought a fucking brooch would frighten Caliborn. A fucking brooch. Also where the fuck did she get buster from?

 Caliborn let out a loud, evil laugh. Rid of him? Did she really think she could destroy Caliborn lickity split? This dirty blonde bitch really was stupid as hell. Man, scaring her was already easy enough as it was and he was just fucking standing there. She was going to be a fun one to fuck around with.

"I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THIS. BuSTER IS BuT. THAT IS NOT MY NAME. AND NO. YOU WILL NOT "GET RID" OF ME. AND NOT. "LICKITY SPLIT". EITHER. BECAuSE I WILL NOT LICKITY. OR SPLIT."

 Oooo! Cosmic powers! Now that was really supposed to scare Caliborn! Too bad it didn't. The place was already taking his shit left and right so why would he for one second believe this bitch still had her "cosmic powers" or whatever the shit they were. He let a large smirk slide across his face. 

"uH-HuH. COSMIC POWERS. I WOuLD LIKE TO SEE YOu. TRY AND uSE THESE. COSMIC POWERS OF YOuRS. uNLESS. OF COURSE." He leaned in towards her. "YOu CAN'T EVEN FuCKING uSE THEM."

☾ - Bustling Streets of Pink [OPEN]

Usagi’s crying dimmed when she heard a voice come from nearby. She hadn’t turned to him fully when he started talking to her, but her tears immediately turned into anger when she heard his rather… Well, they weren’t nice words.

"A bitch? Hey!" The blonde swung around, wiping tears from her eyes. "That ain’t n—.. What the…" As she brought the hands down from her face, she saw something that would probably appear as a monster-of-the-week in her world. "O-Oh my god…"

Immediately, she jumped back and screeched. “..OH MY GOD! WHAT IS YOUR FACE?”

It was like a vivid nightmare. She had to do something to get this guy away. Reaching for her brooch, Usagi shoved it infront of her like she was revealing a cop badge.

"Don’t even come near me b-buster! I’ll get rid of you lickity split!"

 ”I got cosmic powers, and I ain’t afraid to use them!” 

Well, actually, she didn’t have cosmic powers right now. She could transform, but that was it. But hey, maybe it would intimidate him enough.

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 Where the fuck was he? He went that way, then there and then... Caliborn stood in the middle of the road with a wide stance and hands on his hips. Yup, he was lost a hell. There was something happening far from him but he didn't really give a shit. It sounded like a whole bunch of screaming and stuff he didn't have time for right now. All he needed to do right now was find out where the hell he ended up. For it being his own sector it sure was a confusing as hell place.

 His confusion was interrupted by a girl followed by a large crowd. Oh hell no. The girl walked up to Caliborn, seeing him standing as a challenge. Firstly, what exactly was he gonna give a go at? Jump roping? Braiding hair? Yeah, not really his style. Secondly, when the hell was standing directly in the center of the road a sign of a challenge? It was a stupid human thing wasn't it? Oh god damn it was.

 He stared at her hand for a moment before he looked up at the girl's face.

"WHAT THE FuCK. ARE YOu TALKING ABOUT."

so you think you're tough?

        What’s the first thing you do when you’re dropped off onto some alien planet who wants you to try to help restore humanity? Did you say challenge some people to an arm wrestling contest? Because that sure is what Lissa’s doing right now. She took it upon herself to walk along the streets of Solaria City to accept challengers for as long as she could. For some, they were no match for her and because of that her ego grew, thinking that she could be defeated by none. The petite girl was taking down many a foe as she jauntily made her way through the streets. "Can anybody defeat me, Lissa?" her voice echoed through the air, people slowly gathering to follow behind her as she made her way through the city.

        You’d think that she’d try to befriend people instead of cause trouble like this, but that’s just Lissa. She likes to have a little bit of fun before actually trying to fit to the status quo of the population. Besides, she wanted to be free for as long as she could while Chrom wasn’t around to try to dictate her. Having an older brother breathing down your neck isn’t always the best feeling in the world. In fact, she hated it. She was glad to have him not be around, at least for now she was. It was fun getting away with things like this. 

        As each person she triumphed over slowly walked away, a lone stranger stood in the middle of the paved streets now, Lissa could only take this as challenge. Perhaps they were worthy of taking her on. With a smile, she walks up to them now, holding out her hand for a greeting.

        "Well, wanna give it a go? You’re just standing in the middle of the street like this in front of me, I can only see it as a challenge!"

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 What the fuck was this. Pink as far as the eye could see and annoying things bumping into him and going "Oh! Oops! I didn't see you there little one!" Assholes. All of them. He didn't even mean to go in here. He meant to go to the Venus division, not this baby ballerina ass place. Seriously, who chose pink? Whoever they were, they were an asshole.

 That's when he noticed the sign that read: Venus Division and then a whole description about the eye-wrenching place. Great. Just awesome. This was the right damn sector. It was final, when he got control of the place he was changing this place. Every fucking inch of it. Cause who the hell wants that much pink? No one. No one wants that much pink. Why would anyone want this.

 And if things couldn't get any worse then they were already, he heard a loud cry come from nearby. He waited a minute for it to stop. It didn't. He waited a little longer. It still didn't. Maybe if he walked away a bit it would help? It somehow didn't. Oh god dammit. He was gonna have to shut the kid up himself wasn't he?

 That's what he decided he'd do. So, he followed the voice and walked up to see the young blonde crying. How idiotic. He looked the girl in the eye.

"LISTEN HERE. YOu SOBBING BITCH. YOu WILL BE QUIET. AND YOu WILL STAY. THAT WAY. FOR A VERY LONG TIME."

☾ - Bustling Streets of Pink [OPEN]

This isn’t the Silver Millennium!

Streets tickled with pink and people no matter where you looked, it was almost like somebody had gone and dipped Tokyo into a giant vat of paint! Except this definitely wasn’t Tokyo, and none of the faces were familiar. Ad meliora! What the heck did that mean? The words buzzed in her brain as her eyes took in the candy-coloured city which she would come to known as the Venus division - her new home.

Was this a new world that Usagi was to conquer? A mission given to her by the Queen? There were so many questions, but nobody to ask! Even Luna wasn’t here to help her!

I can’t believe I’m alone…. Not even Mamo-chan is with me! How am I going to survive? What do I do? What do I—- 

"WAAAAAAAAH!"

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Okay so I tried to post an intro thing but I somehow deleted everything under the readmore so…redo? I guess…yeah. All the stuff about me and my two muses will hopefully be under the readmore (if I figure out what the yiffy I did wrong there).

Read More

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 It took Caliborn a minute to realize, but upon further inspection of the person above him he knew exactly who it was. Standing before him was none other than the alpha male. Ah yes, the alpha male with the excellent interest in puppets and fine art. This man also had many bitches, none of which were around at the moment. That was strange to Caliborn. The alpha male must always have some females around him. Always. Caliborn knew these things, afterall he did write the alpha male himself. He assumed that all the poor filthy bitches had died, which was only unfortunate for Caliborn because now this alpha male wasn't so "alpha" anymore.

 What he heard from the male was ridiculous. No meats or candy? That was impossible. What kid of half-brained idiot would leave out candy and meat? Those were the essentials to survive. For anyone to survive. The tall blond was an idiot Caliborn decided. He didn't even know where the human restrooms were. Yes, he definitely lost his title as the alpha male. Now to put the alpha male in his place.

"FIRST OF ALL. DO NOT CALL ME "DUDE". SECOND. HOW DO YOu. A HuMAN. NOT KNOW WHERE THE HuMAN WASTE AREAS ARE."

 He rolled his eyes, normally he'd walk away after learning how utterly useless this kid was. However, he was willing to give the male a chance, since he was once the alpha male. Maybe he could redeem himself and earn his title back as alpha male.

"THAT IS RIDICuLOuS. AS IS THE FACT THAT YOu. THE FORMER ALPHA MALE. HAVE LOST HIS GROuP. OF SAuCY BITCHES. YES. YOu HEARD RIGHT. I HAVE TAKEN AWAY YOuR TITLE. AS ALPHA MALE. BECAuSE. YOu. ARE MISSING YOuR NASTY BITCH SQuAD. NOW. YOu HAVE A CHANCE TO. "REDEEM". YOuRSELF. BECAuSE YOu. HAVE EXCELLENT TASTE IN. FINE ART. AND PuPPETRY. SO. AS I SAID BEFORE. LEAD ME TO THE MEATS AND CANDIES AREA."

Caliborn: Venture Outside [open/intro]

Another wonderful in this weirdass planet who’s name started with a D. Dave pondered the name for a moment. He was never really good with names, just faces. That probably was part of the fact that he was rather forgetful when it came to most things. After all, all the important information that went hand in hand with saving other people’s asses took up a lot of memory in his mind. Dave shrugged. If he couldn’t remember it, it couldn’t be that important. All that mattered right now was maybe finding some sort of familiar face if he could. That’d definitely be comforting to hi-

The Knight of Time’s eyes widened behind his heavily tinted aviators. He blinked his eyes twice before quickly rubbing them before staring at the strange creature in front of him. Was this…Caliborn? He didn’t exactly know what Caliborn was supposed to look like, except that he was green and probably weird looking. So there’s two things down. 

"HELLO HELPER. I WANT YOu. YES. YOu. TO TAKE ME TO THE PLACE THAT SELLS CANDIES. AND MEATS."

Dave cocked an eyebrow and folded his arms, tilting his head in a sarcastic manner.

"Dude I don’t even know where to take a guy can take a proper shit around here," he replied, his tone mocking his sarcastic body language. "I don’t even know if candy and meat is a thing on this oddball planet."

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Caliborn: Venture Outside [open/intro]

 Stupid is what it was. Stupid. Some bozos think they can just tell Caliborn that his planets were gone and think he would believe them? Maybe they should of taken a better look at who they were dealing with.  In all honesty, Caliborn could actually care less if it was "all gone" and oh-so "destroyed". He wanted all those stinky bastards dead anyways. Too bad he wasn't there to watch. He would have laughed though. He would have let out an evil and terrifying laugh that made the very ground below him shake in fear. Yes, that would have been so cool. He would also wear a long coat because he knew that would make him even scarier than he already was. God he was so awesome.

 Caliborn had been in his given room for a while, searching the drawers, throwing around all the pillows and blankets on the bed, tossing a pillow or two into the trash just to see what happened, standing inside the shower staring up in confusion at its purpose, that was until he got covered in water. He was sitting in the desk chair, which he placed in the center of the room, staring at the doors of the dresser he had flung open earlier. After a moment he stood up, knocking the chair over as he did so. It was boring in the room he decided. It was time to wreck havoc elsewhere. He would have changed but his clothes were already starting to dry up. So instead of changing, he left the room in search of some new entertainment.

 There wasn't shit outside. Absolutely nothing. Okay, that was a lie. There was some shit outside but nothing that interested Claiborn, at least not so far. There some some stupid shit with a ball that he passed and some other bullshit he wasn't interested in. Nothing was what he wanted: food. He was hungry as hell the minute he woke up. He even told the nurse to get him some candy or meat and all she did was say some stuff about lefts and rights and hand him some stupid paper full of shapes and words. What the fuck was he supposed to do with that? He ended up drawing on it which he ended up being very proud of, so much so that he even taped it onto the bathroom door. He figured out that it was map later but it was unreadable due to his scribbles across the page. Hence the main reason he ventured out.

 Ah-ha there it was. A lovely little helper for him standing around obviously awaiting him. Maybe the place did know who he was. He walked up to this helper and stood up tall in front of them, however he still remained much shorter. 

"HELLO HELPER. I WANT YOu. YES. YOu. TO TAKE ME TO THE PLACE THAT SELLS CANDIES. AND MEATS."

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._.

card tarot?

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cailbornnnnnnn

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Stupid Hoe by Nicki Minaj from her second album Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded.

Note: Stupid Hoe is the most entertaining song ever made.

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Hiss!

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a very dangerous brat

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What a douche bag. 

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HAPPY 4.13!! here’s two of my favorite homestuck characters, ahaha.