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not that anyone cares but im at 108 yet still feeling ugly fat and worthless ifnyou ask me

the day i finally reach 110 lbs is the day ill finally start to stop calling myself ugly,fat, and worthless every time i see a reflection of my ugly dam self

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i finally got out of my b/p cycle, and we’re back to low restricting and im going for four hours at the gym finally

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more like 20

““Reblog if your stomach is too pudgy, thighs are too big, arms are too flabby, face is too chubby and you need to lose 5 or more pounds.””

— (via becomingsmallandpetite)

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i cant believe i just ate ohmygod pathetic

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i fucking hate fruits, there’s a bunch of cherries, apricots, peaches, and watermelon in the fridge and im so so damn tempted to break my 69/120 hours fast to eat those to the point where i held them in my hands and started SMELLING THEM fuck this im not eating

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Reblog if you think male sufferers of eating disorders are just as valid as female ones

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤💗

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im so fucking hungry but im not going to eat before sunday lmao

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Reblog if you hate your thighs.

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me currently

please tell me im not alone

i can go days where im just like “fuck my eating disorder” and eat normally and then i wake up one day and lie there thinking “i’m gonna have to fast for the rest of my life to make up for this”

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ABC Diet

im starting the ABC Diet today and hopefully i’ll be able to finish it

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lmao all this time i thought i was 132 lbs but it turns out its 122 lbs so that’s better i guess

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i hate to do this

hello everyone i’m sara. this is such a low point in my life and i hate to beg for money but my parents are kicking me out of their home.

my parents are super conservative and they just found out i’m queer. they do not want me in their home simply bc my sexuality doesn’t align with their beliefs. my mother hasn’t spoken to me and i feel completely ostracized.

i’m a full time student at uni and i’m currently taking two summer classes so my bank account is completely drained. this is added stress on top of the fact that i have an eating disorder as well as several other mental illnesses.

please help me pay for my gas and insurance and other necessities. i’m currently applying for another job because my boss refuses to give me more hours. i need an estimate of around $700 to get more through this month.

my venmo is @salh1

i will be grateful for ANY amount, please. and if you cannot donate, thank you for reading this anyway. please reblog please please i’m terrified i do not wish this on anyone

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A Note To Self

this goes out to every single one of you in the ed community.

Hi there

just wanted to start this with your important, your feelings and thoughts are important, regardless of gender, sexuality, race, and whatever there is, whether you’ve been suffering for a week or years, you matter.

Having these thoughts its never going to be easy, it’ll get worse, you’ll go through so much, ups and down for every single day. It’s okay, there’s going to be days where you can stay under your calorie limit by far, some days you’ll hit the planned calorie intake, some days above with few cals, and somedays you’re going to surpass it by far. Some days you’ll be able to fast for days, and some you’ll barely finish a day, and some it’ll be brutal just for a mere couple of hours. You’ll have your days when you feel like im okay i can do this, i can eat this, and you won’t feel any guilt, you’ll also have days where you can’t look at food without crying and trying to convince yourself that one bite is going to make you obese. You’ll have days where you can enjoy a meal, and days where you’ll spit it out. You’ll have your days when you can eat a slice of pizza, and you’ll have your days of purging it out. You’ll have your days of intense exercise and brisky walks, and days were getting out of bed is your biggest challenge. You’ll have days where the hunger is extreme, and days where you won’t feel it that much. You’ll have your days where your thoughts will drive you crazy, your dreams about food, your nightmares about accidentally breaking a fast or eating something you’ve been craving but can’t allow yourself to eat, all of that, and you’ll have your days where eating a doughnut is fine. You’ll have your days where 1000 cals are just the right amount and days where 200 will feel like too much. You’ll have your days where you see the number going down and down, and sometimes it’ll be stuck for days and weeks. It’s okay, because this is a disorder its not meant to be in a certain way, its your own thoughts and fears. You’re not fake if you don’t fast, or restrict to 100 cals, exercise, c/s, take laxatives, drink diet coke and coffe, or even purge and drink green tea. There’s no “rules” for this, there’s no tips, this is a disorder.

You just binged ? its okay, move on, tomorrow is a new day where you won’t have to purge it, just work it off and ease down with the guilt. You’re restricting, well good for you, you’re doing amazing. You just had a burger ? delicious, move on. Fries? ice cream ? chocolate? whatever it is you’re not going to gain from it.

It’s okay, this is a disorder you’re meant to feel good sometimes, and there’s going to be times where the guilt eats you alive. I T S O K A Y

Y O U G O T T H I S

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im so disgusted, i just broke a two days fast with cherries and watermelon and i feel so full absolutely disgusting i should’ve kept on fasting

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had an hour of circuit training today plus fasting for 18 hours and all i ate was a salad and a couple of grapes and im planning on eating watermelon later so its all good and under 500 cals

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Calorie log

-100 cals

im so HAPPY AND IM NOT EVEN HUNGRY IM SO PROUD

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BIG FATASS MOOD

i refuse to buy new pants until im skinny