dying-from-the-inside-out

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my new roommate said that her last roommate had an eating disorder and then talked to me about her clean eating and weight loss goals and how she buys clothes that are a little snug to motivate her to lose more

and like honestly? i have anorexia but this is why i constantly talk about the dangers of the “health and fitness” industry and diet culture bc we have essentially normalized certain symptoms of disordered eating but it’s ok if it’s under the guise of health i guess???

like how is calling it “clean” eating NOT a way to moralize food

how is intermittent fasting NOT the same thing as skipping meals

how come when i buy clothes that don’t fit, it’s something i have to tell my therapist about because it means i am putting pressure on myself to fit into them, but if a “normal” person does it then it’s just motivation for them?

where is the fucking line???

and more importantly when are we going to start acknowledging that the entire world is pro-ana but that’s too harsh of a description so we slap some health buzzwords on it to make it palatable

when are we going to take responsibility for encouraging disordered behavior instead of labeling those of us with EDs as the crazy/imbalanced ones

your fucking Whole30 or keto or whatever “clean” diet you’re on is just as restrictive as the diets we create for ourselves due to our disorders. but we are the crazy ones, right

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Tbh I can’t tell if this is disordered eating, an eating disorder, or if I’m dieting and just being dramatic.

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am i the only one that’s really been struggling with binging and anxiousness and depression lately in quarantine but have to keep it a secret from my family I’m now living with or is it just me

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pastel pink thinspo🤍🌸

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Note to self:

It's 10:45am remember this feeling before you eat today.

You feel light, like you're floating. You feel empty but not that numb emptiness that you feel late at night sometimes. This emptiness feels special, it feels like wearing whatever you want in summer, it feels like finally accepting yourself as a human worthy if love, it feels like Inner peace.

Now please look back on this whenever you need it🌺🍃

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Arm and hand thinspo

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Me: maybe it’s okay for me to eat 1200, everybody says I’ll still lose weight and-

My ED:

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good morning.

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