dustwife

[dustwife]

their footsteps proceed them ( uh oh ), faster, faster. as if poised to catch her, but leera has no qualms in being found — sought this exact confrontation. there's no feigned burst of shock, no pose of being caught, when her name finds her. carefully prodded past her shoulder in an accusation that isn't quite allowed to be so. and so, she takes her time. muses aloud. "you know, i expected something more ..." voice trails with play-acted effect, lithe fingers trailing the handle of a great chest (locked, vexingly). where has whimsy gone? where was trust?

or perhaps it was that there simply was nothing to be seen. no scrap of personhood neatly tucked just beyond her reaches. "grand." personable. she seizes on the word, turning to face them fully with a swift heel-turn. "hello vierna."

though not surprising, vierna, noble vierna, was too polite to call a spade by its name, leera couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment. idly hoped the shrike might offer in their reaction what the room had failed to. but no, they were one in the same: strategically, agonizingly, sterile. yielding nothing more than the minimum demanded. "no. thank you. i'd expected to stay a while." she plays her part, rounding the knight's performance with a smile. makes no immediate move for the door.

＊     LEERA RAHL     ﹠     ❛     ∗ 76﹕ sender is caught snooping in receiver’s things  .

          the slightly ajar door to their quarters is what sets them on edge,  tells them that something isn't right before they see exactly what it is.  they're careful to leave everything away and shut and locked where prying eyes cannot see them.  it certainly helps that vierna's posessions are few.  weapons,  some clothing,  miscellaneous trophies from particularly prideful missions,  and less than a handful of generally meaningless trinkets that anyone else would toss or simply look right over.

          the shrike nudges the door open the rest of the way with their foot and steps in swiftly.     "lady rahl,"     they have to force neutrality into their voice,  rid themself of the anger that threatens to steep into their words,     "i was not told to expect you today."     the emperor's fault?  maybe.  they consider it just as likely that @dustwife found her own way here with purpose,  avoiding anyone who may have come in between.  they choose to feign concern instead of drawing their blade.  a commendable display of restraint.     "are you lost?  nothing of your interest is here,  i assure you.  i can have one of my knights escort you to your destination."

[dustwife]

leera and who?

[dustwife]

saw ii (2005)//abraham & isaac before the sacrifice (jan victors, 1642)

:(

[dustwife]

recoloring these scenes is actual hell, but they're the entire vibe of leera's time in westland

[dustwife]

that panis was strong enough to create a spell that spanned his entire country and the midlands, with more permanence than the boundaries, but was taken out by a single fireball is kinda funny to me.

[dustwife]

"You were dead. I didn't know what to do."

"Not necromancy!"

[dustwife]

sleep well, when sleep comes.

had she her way, it would not find her at all — hadn't in three days and counting, but @mentatemperor is well-meaning all the same. and so she would not sour this small kindness with unbidden truths.

"so soon?" laughter a low hum, she plies each word into little pieces in playacted admonishment. her back to the fire, nearly too close for comfort, leera absently fingers the pattern carved into the side of a stone tile. its peers lay in a scatter before her, half-sorted. "and leave me to my own devices?"

[dustwife]

leera who fed her first husband to a gar and spitefully bartered pieces of her soul vs. leera who baited a confessor's hand right to her throat just to feel something is something that i think a lot about

[dustwife]

so it's actually not entirely fair to say she has a fear of horses because most naturally occurring animals set leera on edge. horses are just embedded deeply enough into society that it's genuinely a hindrance to avoid them

[dustwife]

leera and who?

[dustwife]

i want to make one of those type bingo cards for leera, but she's all over the place

[dustwife]

i don't have an fc for her but leera employs a ranger named talla who helps maintain the territories gar are permitted to hunt and she has shoes imbued with a spirit that regularly chatters at her but often fails to disclose this.

[dustwife]

leera dealing with the sudden onslaught in claims to rahl blood after darken's death vs. playing along with the rumors of richard's bastardry because it'd be funny and it bothers him

[dustwife]

if she were to reach into the recesses of her chest, where fear made its nest, leera imagined her fingers might graze the edge of a steep drop. a vacuum. gone was the tittering bird of her heart. absent, the tremble of her fingers, urging her body toward some inkling of preservation. to scream. as his shadow draped its shape along her seat to proceed him she found only the dim tug of interest.

i don't want to cause any trouble.

lifting her gaze from the haphazard sprawl before her, journey books and crumpled documents, half-written letters and fading records, leera stares sidelong. “i would be led to believe you are trouble,” she counters. and idly wonder what he made of it. of her. if @atreiuhdes gleaned the uncertain curve of her mouth for a smile or some fawning approximation. to flee. teeth absently worry at the inside of her bottom lip. “what do you want ?”

[dustwife]

blue velvet.

dialogue prompts from blue velvet (1986).

i believe you know my father.

thanks for the card.

it was nice to finally meet you.

all my old friends are gone.

i still don't know how you do that.

it's not what you think, okay?

i don't want to cause any trouble.

sometimes it's necessary to take a risk.

don't you even want to hear the plan?

what am i supposed to say when ____ comes to the door?

it sounds like a good daydream, but actually doing it's too weird.

i didn't have time to get a window, but i found these keys.

you really want to do this, don't you?

my god, i never should have told you.

i don't know if you're a detective or a pervert.

i didn't mean to do anything except see you.

what did you see tonight? tell me.

don't touch me or i'll kill you.

do you like talk like that?

why don't you lie down?

hold me. i'm scared.

do you like me?

why is there so much trouble in this world?

you're a neat girl.

we really know how much wood a woodchuck chucks.

five minutes from now, you're not gonna believe what i told you.

i'm seeing something that was always hidden.

you worry about me, really?

you've got to do something. go to the police.

i'm not crazy. i know the difference between right and wrong.

you're one suave fucker.

i'm talking to you, shithead.

you're like me.

you're fuckin' lucky to be alive.

sometimes it's good to talk things over.

there'd better be nothing wrong.

you want to dance?

my father's got a gun at home.

i love you! love me!

i love you, but i couldn't watch that.

where is my dream?

listen, this is an emergency.

you shit-for-brains.

you forgot i have a police radio.

lunch is ready.

i feel much better now.

i could never eat a bug.

it's a strange world, isn't it?

[dustwife]

a plot à la vikings valhalla's canute and emma but it's because leera has run out of ways to delegate without completely abdicating her position and a peaceful surrender/political marriage sounded like a nice break

[dustwife]

coping mode test.

Detached Self-Soother

You carry a deep longing for emotional comfort, but your caregivers were unable or unwilling to fulfill that need. This has led you to be wary of relying on others. You have developed a coping mode that seeks to numb emotional pain by creating distance from difficult feelings.

You rely on self-soothing strategies such as distraction, avoidance, or numbing to regulate your emotions and alleviate discomfort. Your detachment allows you to maintain a sense of control and autonomy in the face of adversity, but it also leads to feelings of isolation.

Watch for these signs:

Emotional Numbing: You engage in behaviors or activities that numb or suppress emotions (such as overeating, substance use, or excessive screen time) as a way of escaping painful feelings. You find it difficult to identify or express your emotions, and have a tendency to dismiss your own experiences.

Avoidance of Emotional Triggers: You avoid situations or stimuli that evoke strong emotions, preferring to keep emotional distress at bay rather than process it directly. Your life history has made you an expert at creating distractions, keeping your mind occupied by a constant stream of external stimuli.

Self-Isolation: You withdraw from emotional intimacy, preferring solitude or superficial connections to avoid potential hurt. Your need to escape emotional discomfort leads you to neglect important responsibilities or obligations.

Distraction Techniques: You use distractions such as hobbies or work to divert attention from uncomfortable emotions or thoughts, temporarily soothing yourself by avoiding deeper emotional processing.

The Cycle of Detachment: By avoiding your emotions, you limit opportunities to develop healthy coping mechanisms. This leads to increased emotional vulnerability, further fueling your need for distractions and avoidance.

Your coping mode provides temporary relief from emotional distress but also perpetuates feelings of disconnection and loneliness. Without learning healthy ways to regulate your emotions, you risk further isolating yourself from meaningful relationships and opportunities for personal growth.