dumbassofmyne - Tumblr blog

[dumbassofmyne]

post her everywhere

[dumbassofmyne]

‪My grandma trying to be my friend and sent me a text saying “you going to comic con? The guy from games is going to be there.”‬

[dumbassofmyne]

every time i see those posts like ‘what food from a show did YOU always wanna try’ i go lol none? but i just remembered im a liar

i always wanted the fucking soup brock made in the pokemon anime

[dumbassofmyne]

I had a dream about Columbo at a drag show. This is what came from it.

[dumbassofmyne]

first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horses’ tails to stir up dust and make it look like there’s a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isn’t any dust and the enemy can clearly see there’s like twenty of us all spread out in a line

[dumbassofmyne]

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

[dumbassofmyne]

Yesterday I took 2 vaccine shots and now just by turning on the fan in the classroom I already feel like an eskimo

[dumbassofmyne]

[dumbassofmyne]

My mom went to high school with this guy and showed me this Facebook post of his and if I were not already happily married……………..

[dumbassofmyne]

This is PERFECT

Happy Mother's Day!

[dumbassofmyne]

Okay but what if we became friends and she cast a spell on herself so she was immortal too, and we lived forever cracking terrible jokes, making fun of each other and just having the best immortalife?

Like, I'd be down for living forever with another immortal friend, having literal eternities to learn interesting stuff, like baking, cooking, engineering, painting, writing, learning facts about animals and shit

“You shall fall dead the day your first child is born!” the young, inexperienced witch had cried casting her curse. Little did she know, to an asexual like yourself, she’d practically granted immortality. Now, every year, on the anniversary of the curse, she tries her best to “fix” things.

[dumbassofmyne]

i am like a romantic aromantic, if that makes any sense

i will find people absolutely beautiful. i will care about people more than anything. i will do anything for the people i care about. i enjoy doing romantic things with people. i enjoy being in romantic relationships. i just don’t feel romantic feelings very strongly. 

[dumbassofmyne]

[dumbassofmyne]

[dumbassofmyne]

[dumbassofmyne]

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here