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Clearly someone hasn't had baller-ass horns before

Satanists are so funny because they’re always like “we don’t really worship Satan, we just worship the self”

Like wow, satan fooled you twice you goon.

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LGBT boats be rolling up at the docks call that shit trans-port

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Season 6 She-ra but it's just a sitcom

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homophobic bitches: but what if? what if gay sex ed makes my kids gayyyyy???? and they can have the secksss?????

#gay #lgbt #imnothomophobicbut

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our dog was outside and looked too hot and i was trying to think of a synonym for hot and i nearly went "damn that dog looks pretty sexy"

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my dad watching pirates of the caribbean: yeah the pirates totally showed the corrupt trading company

also my dad: i just don't understand why people want to tax the rich more, obviously if you are rich you made good decisions and deserve your obscene wealth

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Yes please

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That's what the tail's for

Baz: babe, what’s wrong?

Simon, petting 2/3 of their dogs, weeping: i don’t have enough hands.

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Simon: i’m so tired. i couldn’t sleep last night

Penny: you know, they say when you can’t sleep it means someones thinking about you

Simon: who would possibly be thinking about me at 3am??

Baz: [gay panic]

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Baz Pitch is a Gay Disaster.

(Idea credit to my brother, cuz he’s actually hilarious)

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agatha: where’s baz?

penny: he’s doing stuff

agatha: and simon?

penny:

agatha:

penny:

agatha: he’s stuff isn’t he

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penny, growling: scone boy and his rat boyfriend don’t do anything I DO EVERYTHING I AM THE BACKBONE OF THIS HOUSEHOLD

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simon: *shows affection and love for baz*

baz’s love deprived self:

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“AHA! YOU THOUGHT I WAS GAY” screamed the gay wizard, waving his wand, “BUT YOU ARE WRONG. I AM SUPER GAY!” He walks out ith a flourish, living glitter in his tracks

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Simon, after describing Baz in excruciating detail for 8 billion pages:

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Who wouldn't, they're good bloody scones

why don’t we talk more about the fact that both Simon and Natasha Grimm-Pitch had sour cherry scones on their lists of things they miss about Watford?