drowned-inmy-sorrows - Tumblr blog

[drowned-inmy-sorrows]

“There are days that I wished that you loved me as deeply as I do for you.”

— Excerpts from a story I’ll never write

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“I stopped shaving my legs every other day I stopped only eating citras and drinking a gallon of water a day I started smoking weed with my friends I stopped bringing my phone with me to Temple, to coffee houses, to record stores, to concerts I stopped ignoring my family and started baking cookies and pancakes with bananas and nuts and apples I’ve made 32 pancakes since Friday, I’ve burnt 13 but I’m getting there I won’t let you burn me anymore I’m so fucking sick of flames Turns out I don’t get off on pain I don’t get off on being treated like a toy I do not enjoy having a collection of sticky notes covered in conversation topics because you never held up your end It’s true that one person always loves more but the other side needs to give something You knew this would happen I have to go for my own self respect I should’ve known when you stopped sending good morning texts Or when your texts didn’t come at all until late at night When your words were always about sex Maybe I should have turned my phone off or blocked your number when you told me about the first girl Or the second or the third But I thought you were worth it that I’d never find a better guy You always listened you respected my boundaries It’s probably easy when you have six other girls who will give you what I protect I’m not picking up this time I’m not checking your timeline I’m not listening to your music I’m not dying my hair your favorite color or getting a tattoo You You don’t deserve my kind of love Not from me, You deserve a quiet love that won’t take up too much time You killed me over and over again You wasted and disrespected me without even noticing My heart has been replaced with beetles and old peach pits but soon You won’t live there anymore to poison my wood Flowers will bloom in my brain once again Watered by my own love and confidence Planted by me for me You will never see them Lilacs and roses were my favorite before you Fuck your daisies you’re the one who cut them down”

— I Always Grow Back

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I’ve never identified with something more than this

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Numb // Linkin Park

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Things have been lit

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I forget how to tumblr.

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One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. (at Arnold Arboretum of Harvard University)

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Dad: He can play like a kid, give advice like a friend, and protect like a body guard.

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📸

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#throwback to last Sunday when the love of my life was carrying him out of the hospital. Today marks the day I've spent 2 years and 5 months loving such an amazing person. There is no one on this planet I would rather be with, no one I'd rather have such a beautiful baby boy with. I'm so happy to start our mini family 💕 me and Dustin love you tremendously ❤️ (at South Shore Hospital MA)

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Babe spoils me 💕 (at Genki Ya（Boston）)

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I love how round and chubby his face is, this little guy nearly gave me a heart attack when he crossed his eyes, but apparently it's normal for babies to do that 😲

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Dustin James Ladd Oliveira was born December 30th, 2016. Weighing 8 pounds 13 ounces, and measuring 21 1/2 inches long. I love him more than words can describe already. I love you Dustin James. 👶🏼💕 (at South Shore Hospital MA)

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Happy 20th birthday to the strongest most amazing friend I know 💕 can't believe we are both growing up so quickly, feels just like yesterday we were in some high school drama. But now you're 20, working your butt off and about to be a god mother. I love you with all my heart, and hope you have an amazing day 💕