drmatildamason

[drmatildamason]

“Oh my goodness I bet they hate that!” But it made Matilda giggle because she had a friend who’d once told her the worst thing she’d ever been asked at her service job was for her recommendation. Then again if someone wasn’t being nice…they deserved for Elijah to give back the same energy, right? “I’ve never done that but only because then I feel obligated to actually take their recommendation even if I don’t like it.” That was the people pleasing side of her nature right there. Not think about work anymore, now that was something she could do, it meant her not actually working right now was less likely to come up. “Stuff that doesn’t come off as a tourist thing? Oh goodness…” Was Matilda about to reveal herself for the boring loner she knew she was but others didn’t tend to. “If I’m honest I love to read, so a lot of what I do is go to bookshops or read whatever I’ve bought. And I like musicals but Broadway is…peak tourist of that I am very much aware.” Laughing in a self deprecating fashion. “So if you have some ideas, them I’m all ears!” @rxshingpxlse

"It is very stressful, I know what you mean. So I like to stress them out sometimes with the good ol' 'what would you recommend from here?' and then they have to think on the spot and actually look awake." Elijah smirked while looking at Matilda and nodded his head. "I hope to do that one day but still can always be a struggle, but oh well. I think maybe we should not think about work anymore. How are you doing? What do you do for fun in New York? Like something that doesn't come off as a tourist thing to do?" She asked the woman.

[drmatildamason]

Matilda just hummed as her sister mentioned her being silly for that, because it didn’t change anything, her brain had a mind of its own and it seemed to always want her to feel as shitty as possible if she wasn’t getting everything exactly correct. “Do you feel calm from them when you go into work? Sometimes they have flowers in the patients rooms which is really nice, adds a bit of the outside in such a sterile environment. Not in all of them because it can be dangerous for the spores and stuff to get near them but … yeah some have them.” Glancing between the table and island before nodding towards the latter. “Island works. I’ll grab cutlery.” Heading to the draw to pull some out, wanting to be helpful. @rxshingpxlse

"Whatever, I think you're silly for thinking that but i'm not going to say that you're wrong for feeling it because I sure as hell am not gonna tell you that you're wrong for having feelings and thoughts." She mentioned to the other while shaking her head a bit. "They really are! And I think that's why I really wanted to go into flowers because I feel like they're so calming but optimistic, pretty and everything." She giggled a bit and then looked over at her sister, "Island or kitchen table? Your pick."

[drmatildamason]

Blowing some hair out of her face as she emerged to see her brother, Matilda tried to force her breathing to calm down a little bit, heart still hammering in her chest. Although that was hardly something uncommon recently. Reaching out to wrap her arms around him in a hug as she mumbled into his shoulder. “No…no it’s okay…I just think I might have fallen asleep that’s all. I didn’t hear anyone come in and then the weight of the dog on me…” Reaching out towards her brother’s retriever because although she was very much a cat person, she still had a softness for the animal. It was as she reached out that he seemed to notice her winter coat, swallowing. “I…was cold. I think I’m getting the flu.” A total lie, but maybe that could be an excuse for why she also wasn’t at work. “I didn’t want to give anything to the patients.” Except she didn’t sound sick, and she didn’t feel sick, not with the flu anyway. “You brought me groceries?”  @charlicfms

he had expected her to be a little surprised -- scared, even -- it wasn't exactly pleasant being woken up suddenly at the best of times but especially when you'd assumed you would be alone, but the intensity of matilda's reaction had him lurching forward to tear the lumbering retriever away from her. "hey, hey. it's okay, it's only me." charlie urged softly, crouching by the sofa to remain in her line of sight, and keep duke away for the moment. "hello," he repeated after her, brown eyes swimming in concern and brows knitted together. "i'm so, so sorry mattie, i didn't mean to scare you. i didn't think you'd be here -- um, just came to drop some stuff over. groceries." gesturing back towards the kitchen, charlie offered her a tight smile, then paused, taking her in. "... are you wearing a coat?"

[drmatildamason]

Matilda usually went out during the day, at least if she had told her family she had a shift she would, so that no one got suspicious. This morning though she just…hadn’t been able to do it. Having gotten dressed, put her coat on, and opened the front door, her brain screamed at her to retreat which was how she found her way onto the sofa. Underneath a blanket face in a pillow, still wearing her coat. She’d at least had the thought to take her shoes off before putting her feet on the sofa so that was something. At some point she must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew there was a huge weight slamming into her, the jolt making her cry out in shock. “Please don’t kill me, take anything you want, I don’t have money…” she screamed, fearing she was being robbed, before hearing her brother’s voice along with the familiar nickname. Shit. It was Duke, of course it was, how could she have been such an idiot. “Um…yes…hello…” trying to behave normally as she stuck her head out from under the blanket. “What are you doing here?” 

closed starter for @drmatildamason

taking stuff to matilda's had become something of a routine. sure, sometimes it was literally just an excuse to see his baby sister, but charlie didn't think that had to be a bad thing. she'd been off studying for ages and he'd spent much of his life away from home. "i know, buddy. but she's not gonna be in, so you gotta be calm, okay?" he gave the extremely excitable retriever at his side an affectionate pet, knocked twice out of courtesy and then unlocked the door, ushering duke in first. no sooner were the bags set down in the kitchen did charlie realise duke had made a beeline for the lump on the couch. "... mattie?" he started cautiously towards the couch, hoping to god it was her and not some random he had not signed up to deal with.

[drmatildamason]

“Well, we aren’t the same person. My shame is deeply rooted, we all know that.” Matilda chuckled, it was funny because even if she and her sister were polar opposites of each other that didn’t stop them from getting on incredibly well. In fact if anything the two balanced each other out quite nicely. “No I guess that’s not technically empty handed.” She agreed with a tired grin. “Well I am also very pro you not burning the house down, so .. you know…” she walked a little more into the apartment, taking a seat in her usual spot, it was almost a force of habit now. “It is nice, I mean I can’t say I wouldn’t love to get flowers at easter. Or anytime really. Flowers are just so…optimistic.”  

"Well yes, but I feel like that's never stopped me before. I know I've walked in empty handed a couple of times and have felt no shame even though mom has given me the dirty looks. I always bring the entertainment so is that really empty handed?" She asked her sister as she laughed. "Yeah, if I don't follow instructions correctly when cooking then I'm going to burn the whole place down and I don't think that's a good idea honestly." She chuckled and then looked at her and nodded when the next question was asked. "Honestly, I was surprised at first when I learned about it, but yeah. They think it's a nice gift for moms and wives and shit." She said.

[drmatildamason]

“If they were sitting down to share it with me, or like…we’d ordered together that would be a different thing. If you wanted to share what I was eating then I would care about your opinion, well I care about it anyway, but it’s so hard when you feel like external forces are influencing something that really has a very limited effect on them. It’s stressful.” Matilda exclaimed, probably with more passion than the situation deserved but she was such a scrambled ball of energy inside she had to let out some of that pent up stress. Apparently on her Mexican lunch order. “Well, at least you’re in a higher position to maybe influence things. With the surgeons that is, not my lunch order.” She gave him a small smile, eyes flicking up to meet his gaze as they walked. “Oh he is, so funny, just had such a positivity about everything. It was admirable really. I wish I could live like that."

"That's the whole thing too! Like what do you care what I am eating? You're not sitting down to share it with me so like it's just dumb and they need to cut that shit out." Elijah agreed with Matilda while letting out a soft laugh after. "Yeah that is true, it's a sticky situation but I mean we have to take some corrective action until something changes because we can't be having those mistakes happen all the time." Elijah smiled at her response when he he told her the news about the patient being discharged. "I didn't interact with him much but I did hear a lot of other people talking about him so I believe it honestly."

[drmatildamason]

Matilda wished she didn’t behave like a deer caught in the headlights every time she was surprised or taken off guard by something recently, but it was hard to avoid when the size of her eyes quite literally replicated said headlights. It hadn’t even occurred to her that Elliot might have been at the cat cafe, which she was now internally angry at herself for not thinking because this was his neighbourhood too. If she’d wanted assurances they wouldn’t run into each other she should have gone further afield. But then that lead her to wondering if this had been a subconscious decision made deliberately because some part of her wanted to see her ex boyfriend. Even as she looked at his face now her heart was aching with longing to go join him at the table, give him a huge hug, tell him how sorry she was, that she was an idiot. Instead she just stood there for about thirty seconds before turning on her heel and heading to the counter to order, praying he couldn’t see the way her hands were shaking. 

“Um, yes hi. One filter with half and half and one white mocha.” Ordering Elliot another coffee automatically because she’d noticed his was getting empty and that was…just who she was as a person. Separation from the person she trusted the most was agonising but outweighed by the fear and embarrassment of what had happened to her at the hospital. What she continued to have to see someone about. The way she wasn’t even allowed in the building right now let alone an OR. All she ever wanted was to make Elliot as proud as he made her - but instead she’d crumbled under pressure like a wimp. The two drinks were passed to her and she gave the waitress a small smile, inclining her head in a nod as she picked them up. “Yours was uh…you had nearly finished so I…” Carefully setting the mug down in front of him. “White mocha - sorry, I just assumed that was still what you were drinking.” 

It wasn't the most ideal of places to go for a coffee, but it was close and it would give Elliot his much-needed dose of caffeine, so for today it would have to do. He could have made coffee at home, he usually did in fact, but he was in the mood for a cup not prepared on his trusty machine. Having spent much of the day locked away working through new pages, he'd needed to get out for a little while and grab some fresh air. He wasn't getting enough of that these days, so a walk around the neighbourhood and a cup of coffee it was. If he'd been feeling a little more adventurous he would have gone further afield, maybe even ventured into the park. Upon arriving at Paws & Pour he'd opted to hang around for a little while, taking his cup to a table and saying hello to one of his favourite occupants. The tabby had been there for a while and had taken a liking to Elliot, sadly he couldn't take him home, already informed by Leo that he wasn't a fan of dogs ( it just wasn't meant to be ). When he looked back up, reaching out to take a drink of his coffee, it was then he spotted Matilda over by the counter, her familiar wide-eyed expression fixed upon him. "Hi..." he answered, his voice soft. It was the first time they'd spoken really since the break-up. He'd reached out to her, of course he had, but he knew when to take a hint and had backed off again. "Yeah, of course."

[drmatildamason]

“Of course, you know mom always says it’s rude to show up to a dinner party empty handed.” The term dinner party might be a slight exaggeration for just having dinner with her big sister but since Frankie was putting in the effort to cook then it was the least Matilda could do. Plus it had taken her out of her own head for a couple of hours. “Ooooh…melty cheese, yes please.” Smiling at the news, happily listening to them talk about how work had been going for them, nodding along. “Of course, valentines day is coming up really soon, I keep forgetting.” Which she shouldn’t be considering her entire family thought she was still with and head over heels in love with Elliot. One of those things was true. “People really send a lot of flowers for easter?” That caught her off guard, mother’s day sure, but easter? “I thought that was more about chocolate.”

"Oh wow you brought brownies! I love you. My body may not love you but I guess that's something that i'll just have to deal with because brownies are super good. I think I have some ice cream in the freezer too if we feel like getting extra spicy there!" Frankie smirked. "Oh. I'm making eggplant parm! I just put the eggplant in the oven so the cheese is getting all melty and stuff." She said. "Oh yeah, definitely. I feel like we just calmed down from the holidays but now we are gearing up for Valentine's Day and then hopefully it'll be calmer until Easter and Mother's day." Frankie expressed.

[drmatildamason]

Matilda could feel it, she could feel Amber looking at her with something in her eyes that she wouldn’t allow out of her mouth, but she tried to ignore it. The two of them ran into each other frequently at work simply because of how it seemed their shifts fell, but of course that hadn’t been happening the last few weeks due to Matilda’s suspension. What she was grateful for was that the heads of department seemed to be keeping the details to themselves. The offer of coffee and a walk was gratefully accepted by the brunette, hands wrapped around her drink to keep them warm as they wandered through the sparse greenery that New York had to offer. “Oh you know…can’t complain. It’s been…busy.” No it hadn’t. Not even slightly. “There is always that celebration hangover after Christmas, don’t you find? How has yours been going?” 

for: @drmatildamason location: prospect park

If there was one thing that Amber would never do, it was to point out something that someone clearly didn't want to focus on —- and that came into play when it came to Matilda. Of course she'd noticed that she was missing at the hospital, that something was clearly amiss, but on the few occasions she'd bumped into the younger woman around the neighbourhood, she'd made sure to keep off the subject and let her say what she wanted to say in her own time. Today was no expectation to that. She'd run into her while out getting coffee, so naturally offered to buy her one and see if she wanted to join for a walk in the park. "How's your new year going?" she questioned, taking a sip from her takeout cup.

[drmatildamason]

“Also…what difference does it make to them what you order? They don’t have to eat it. I don’t know I just feel like judging people for innocent personal preferences is an odd way to go about your daily life, as long as they’re not hurting anyone then there is no harm.” A small shrug of her shoulders, the irony lost on her that she was the most judgmental person probably - except that was almost exclusively towards herself rather than others. “If you can teach them to be better about it, I mean if the surgeon who made the mistake is an old hat and just let their concentration lapse…he might not be as receptive to the help.” A lot of her professors in medical school had fitted that exact mould and they were former practicing medical professionals. “He was? Oh that’s great news!” Visibly brightening as she clasped her hands together in front of her chest. It had been weighing heavily on her mind. “He was such a nice guy, apart from when we told him he wasn’t allowed to take his compression socks off but..each to their own right?” 

"Yeah those are the worst. They just give you that look when you order something that they don't agree with. But it's actually strange that they do that because then they could lose out on a good tip." He mentioned to Matilda and then shrugged his shoulders. "Right, yeah it's super sad that it happens but all I can do is teach them to be better about it." He shrugged. "Oh yeah, I believe that he was discharged actually. Just the other day, but yeah he seemed to be good." He said with a shrug, not thinking much of it when Matilda had asked the question.

[drmatildamason]

Where: Paws and Pour Who: @oftatteredwings

Matilda was trying to keep busy, which was easier said than done when all she wanted to do was get back into the hospital to work. As if leaving her alone with her own thoughts was going to do anything other than make her issues worse, she’d tried explaining that to her new therapist but their suggestion was for her to take up a hobby. She didn’t fancy knitting, she already read like it was going out of fashion, and a sport was…no, just no. Making an effort she’d ordered a paint by numbers meant to be more complicated specifically for adults, but it had made her want to poke her eyes out within about half an hour because it was so mind numbing her brain had no choice but to run away with itself. She’d ended up sitting in the shower fully clothed so, well safe to say it hadn’t had the desired effect. 

So she’d taken to going out. At least when she wasn’t in the house she could power walk until she was so tired the existential dread had no choice but to leave her alone. It was cold as hell today though so she’d ducked into Paws and Pour in Park Slope because their did very good coffee, even if you didn’t like cats (she didn’t mind them) it was worth it for their cappuccino. It wasn’t until she was fully in the cafe that she noticed him sitting at a table a couple of feet away, not looking at her but with his body facing in her direction, which meant she had no way to escaping unnoticed. Instead she froze, that had been happening a lot recently, staring at Elliot with her wide eyes she swallowed. As he looked up she tried to smile, a half wave. “Hi.” Like they didn’t run into each other around Park Slope all the time - except normally he didn’t know that because she found a way to hide before he noticed her. Like a toddler.  "I needed coffee." No duh.

[drmatildamason]

Matilda loved her sisters, she had a close bond with them and used them as a kind of guidance on a lot of things, even if they weren’t aware that’s what was happening. Although Bea had been more protective over her as she was growing up, that didn’t stop her connection with Frankie from flourishing as well. A bright smile breaking out onto her tired face as the door was opened she easily headed into the apartment, passing her sister the box of brownies she’d made that morning. “It smells amazing in here - what are you making?” The question she’d been asked a hard one to answer, because she was not okay in a lot of ways. Still she just shrugged her shoulders casually. “I’m good! How is work? I bet it’s getting busy now in the run up to Valentines day.” Not that she’d know much about that particular holiday from first experience. 

[drmatildamason]

“Let’s just hope we don’t get a judgmental waitress or waiter, that’s when I’d panic an order something random off the normal menu. If I felt like they were judging I mean, because I was thinking of the children’s menu…well you know what I mean.” She lapsed into silence, scratching her wrist and smiled back at him when she caught his eye. For someone to be at the top of the their game like Elijah but still maintain such a warm disposition was another reason the girl admired him. He didn’t seem to let the pressure of their career overflow into the way he treated those around him, it was impressive. Especially to someone who had somehow managed to let the job consume her entire life both in and out of the hospital. “Every surgery requires one hundred percent focus, the risk run otherwise is literally lethal.” One of the sentences she had told herself so many times it became a set of bricks on her already heavy shoulders. Still, it was true and she’d stand by that. “True, you’d be blamed. I don’t think the risk is worth the reward.” She chuckled, said word almost banned in the hospital - it tempted fate. “Do you uh…Mr Norman, he had a whipple done on the uh…on the second, do you know if he’s been discharged yet?” She hadn’t seen him on the board and of course her brain jumped to the worst outcome - guilt washing over her that she’d not been there to help monitor his aftercare. 

"I don't think it matters if it's fraudulent. It's not something that you have to tell anyone so they think that your just being conscientious." He smiled wide, looking at Matilda as they were walking with one another. "Exactly and some of the more seasoned surgeons tend to forget about that or when the residents finally go on their own then they think they don't have to still be focused on the simplest of surgeries." He shrugged and he remembered he was like that once but maybe that's why he was able to preach it to everybody else. "Meh, not super crazy people tend to forget to come to the hospital for the tiniest of things when it's the holiday season so luckily things have been okay. I'm not going to say the 'Q' word because then that would just cause havoc here and I don't want to be held responsible for that."

[drmatildamason]

Matilda loved her sisters, she had a close bond with them and used them as a kind of guidance on a lot of things, even if they weren’t aware that’s what was happening. Although Bea had been more protective over her as she was growing up, that didn’t stop her connection with Frankie from flourishing as well. A bright smile breaking out onto her tired face as the door was opened she easily headed into the apartment, passing her sister the box of brownies she’d made that morning. “It smells amazing in here - what are you making?” The question she’d been asked a hard one to answer, because she was not okay in a lot of ways. Still she just shrugged her shoulders casually. “I’m good! How is work? I bet it’s getting busy now in the run up to Valentines day.” Not that she’d know much about that particular holiday from first experience. 

Starter for: Francesca & Matilda @drmatildamason Location: Frankie's home

Francesca had been planning to have Matilda and Bea over, but Bea had something else going on so she decided that she was going to still have Matilda over. She had made some eggplant parm since it was so cold out and it was nice to have something with sauce and of course pasta. She had just finished making the salad and the eggplant was in the oven. She heard the knock on her door and she smiled wide as she opened it and saw Matilda. "Hey! How are you? Come on in!" She said to her sister as she stepped out of the way so Matilda could come in.

[drmatildamason]

“I mean, you could look at it as me being more economical by choosing something off the kids menu, although that was not my main d riving force to do it so perhaps that would be fraudulent.” Matilda gave a small shrug, smiling softly as he said he wasn’t going to judge her for her selected meal choice, she liked trying new things but today just wasn’t one of the days where she wanted to step outside her box. “I guess that is true. After all the the biggest killer in our industry is complacency - the second the surgeon decides they are above the attention every procedure requires even when it is seemingly the most minimal, that is when disaster strikes. It’s why we always have to have laser focus.” Something she had been seriously lacking, hence her current probation. “Have things been busy at the hospital?”

"Nothing boring about mexican at all. I feel like there ae so many different options when it comes to it like you could get something more savory, sweet, or spicy. Lot's of different options out there." She mentioned to her as he laughed a bit. "I think a cheese quesadilla is on the children's menu too but I am not going to judge you if that's what you decide to get." Elijah half teased her as he smiled softly and then headed towards the exit so that they could leave. "That's fair, and really anything can go wrong in the simplest of surgeries and the simple and common ones are the ones where people make mistakes because they get lazy and think they know it like the back of their hand."

[drmatildamason]

Clicking her tongue a couple of times as she weighed up the pros and cons of various food options in her mind a small frown line appeared between her eyebrows. Them furrowing together for a few moments before the expression cleared once more. “Let’s do Mexican, I know it’s really boring but I always love a quesadilla. Kind of like…a cheese toastie but make it for grown ups.” The brunette smiled softly as she started following him down the hall towards the locker room, already trying to work out what she was going to do when they got there since…well technically she wasn’t allowed to go inside right now because she wasn’t an active employee but … how did she explain that to Elijah? “I guess that’s understandable, if you don’t know the intricacies of surgery there is no way to accurately weigh up the risk against other procedures, so …all of them just seem scary I guess.” 

"That's fair." Elijah laughed a bit when she mentioned that going out for lunch was a better idea. "Chinese, Mexican, pub food? I can always eat anything at anytime, except for Thai because that just doesn't go over well." Elijah laughed as he looked over at her because he didn't want to pick but he would if he had to in the long run. He always wan't sure if there was anything specific dietary wise that Matilda didn't eat. "Yeah, it went well just putting in a shunt so nothing too crazy for me but you know obviously for the parents it was." He shrugged as he motioned for her to follow him so that he could change out of his scrubs and to real people clothes again.

[drmatildamason]

“Thank you, I feel like it’s my duty as your sister to save your eyes from that atrocity. After all you’re already deaf, we don’t want you blind as well!” Okay maybe it was a little hyperbolic but when she was in the right company and was comfortable this was the kind of idiot Matilda could be. Her lips twitching at the corners as she attempted to keep a serious expression on her face and failed miserably. A cheeky grin instead gracing her lips. “Well no, but yes. No to Cats. Yes, to your next day off you and Sawyer are coming over and we’re going to watch Wicked together. She’ll love it, trust me. So will you. I’ll bake something to sweeten the deal.” Well it wasn’t like she didn’t have enough time to be doing that on her hands, might as well fill up her empty hours with something that would make her brother and niece happy when they came to visit. 

Her already big eyes widened further as he said he’d never looked up a menu in advance, not really able to comprehend how a person went through life like that. Apparently she was learning new things about her brother everyday. “Doesn’t that stress you out?” A genuine question, she liked to know what she was walking into. It was amusing how different they could be considering they grew up in the same house and worked in the same field. Then again she was a lot more Type A than Elliot. “Well you are one of my favourite siblings.” She laughed as she signed back, quickly following on with. “Yeah? Okay cool! I’m also going to order you an appetiser, you’ll like it trust me.” Two fingers pointing into her own eyes, before gesturing them back towards his, and then her own. “Trust me.” Before turning to the waitress who'd just arrived and placing their order. Including a drink for her brother, since they were having a fun night out, she wanted to make sure he relaxed.

"Noted, I won't watch the movie version of Cats either." Elliot signed back with a laugh, forever grateful for their parents picking up asl as soon as he was born. For making sure that it was a staple in their house and that all his sisters grew up knowing it as well. Not for sure what life would have been like had they not, hell, they probably wouldn't have been as close as he was with all of them. Something he was very thankful for, especially since he was the only boy in the family. "I see it now, on our next days off, you're going to drag me over and make me watch all these movie musicals now, huh?" Elliot added after a moment. flashing Matilda a warm smile. Not that he would mind that at all, no, not if it was something his sister was into. He'd do anything in the world for any of them.

Letting out a slightly loud laugh as she went on. "I don't think I have ever looked up a menu in advance?" Even if he did go somewhere new to try, Elliot just winged it most of the time. Hoped they had something on the menu he liked and if they didn't, well, he would simply try something new. "I'll take you calling me a weirdo to mean I'm your favorite sibling." He teased, nudging her foot under the table, though his eyes never once left Matilda and her hands. Nodding along to what she was signing. "Then I'll go with the burger, I'm trusting you on this." Grinning before he waved a hand towards the menu. "But seriously, go wild, get whatever you want- drinks, appetizer, this is all part of your Christmas gift." @drmatildamason