dreams-and-thyme

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if I was rich i would absolutely go all out weird. commission books handwritten in a made up language. erect strange black spires in the wood. buy a boat, make it look like a perfect copy of one that was used in an 18th century antarctic expedition, and then let it drift to shore miles away. i want every interaction with me to leave people with a sense of impending cosmic horror.

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I want to see a fanfic where Harry hatches a basilisk.

I want to see a fanfic where he looks up “magical snakes” as soon as he gets to Hogwarts because that thing at the zoo always bugged him, and so the Trio works out that it’s a basilisk immediately after the first petrification in Second Year. But they don’t know how it’s getting around or where it is or anything, so Harry is just like WELP SET A BASILISK TO FIND A BASILISK while Hermione and Ron are like HARRY NO.

I want to see a fanfic where Harry sticks a chicken egg under a toad and makes all these plans about how he’ll talk to his huge deadly snake and get it eye-blinkers and shit so it doesn’t kill people and make sure it’s not too aggressive, and somehow it never occurs to his twelve-year old brain that the chicken egg has a total volume of about four tablespoons and he is not going to get the giant King of Serpents he is expecting.

I want to see a fanfic where it finally breaks out of the shell and Harry finds himself with a bb!basilisk too smol to even have the murder-eyes yet, who can only petrify someone for about half an hour before the effect wears off. She eats spiders and gets tired very easily and demands that he wear a hood she can curl up in and sleep.

(She is also the same vivid green as his eyes and already hideously venomous, but doesn’t like using her fangs because she says they get cold and give her brain freeze when she unsheathes them.)

I just… I really want Harry with a haughty, demanding, arrogant danger noodle who has an overinflated sense of her own importance, views Hedwig as a TERRIFYING MENACE because she isn’t big enough to eat owls yet and keeps up a steady stream of insults hissed in Harry’s ear whenever she’s near someone who has a Dark Mark (which she can sense at close range). And who is basically useless as a familiar because she refuses to slither across anything other than sun-warmed stones or Harry, hasn’t got a very powerful gaze yet and doesn’t like biting people.

(Except snake-arm-people. She finds snake-arm-people confusing and annoying, and would probably make an exception on the no-biting thing where they’re concerned.)

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watching spy kids: island of lost dreams aka the single most ambitious and masterful piece of modern american cinema ever created

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you know a lot of actors find a particular niche to inhabit when it comes to their roles but you really gotta hand it to David Tennant for somehow landing the absurdly specific category of “immortals that rebelled against their oppressive and bureaucratic people because they accidentally became too fond of the human race and also have a quasi-telepathic bond with a vehicle.”

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one of my final college assignments! we were given a small excerpt of The Circus of Dr. Lao to let it inspire a totally new story. i wrote a short story about a young boy and an ancient water serpent! 💧

PART ½ —> PART 2/2

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I think Ford speaks for all of us in that.

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Seen this screenshotted but never the actual video. Screen shots do not do it justice.

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are u a jar-opening wlw or a takes-care-of-bugs wlw

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my little sister just found out at school that you can create a religion and wants me to help her turn Halloween into a year long religion. And i  never knew i wanted this until now. We will be the Halloween Cult. I am so ready for this.

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Fox news just @ me next time

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what would dionysus wear if he was in the modern day?

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only americans know the true pain of hearing this

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it is so strange to me when people tell me they never had an ancient egyptian phase…like, what did you even do during your childhood? 

[dreams-and-thyme]

After succumbing to a fever of some sort in 1705, Irish woman Margorie McCall was hastily buried to prevent the spread of whatever had done her in. Margorie was buried with a valuable ring, which her husband had been unable to remove due to swelling. This made her an even better target for body snatchers, who could cash in on both the corpse and the ring.

The evening after Margorie was buried, before the soil had even settled, the grave-robbers showed up and started digging. Unable to pry the ring off the finger, they decided to cut the finger off. As soon as blood was drawn, Margorie awoke from her coma, sat straight up and screamed.

The fate of the grave-robbers remains unknown. One story says the men dropped dead on the spot, while another claims they fled and never returned to their chosen profession.

Margorie climbed out of the hole and made her way back to her home.

Her husband John, a doctor, was at home with the children when he heard a knock at the door. He told the children, “If your mother were still alive, I’d swear that was her knock.”

When he opened the door to find his wife standing there, dressed in her burial clothes, blood dripping from her finger but very much alive, he dropped dead to the floor. He was buried in the plot Margorie had vacated.

Margorie went on to re-marry and have several children. When she did finally die, she was returned to Shankill Cemetery in Lurgan, Ireland, where her gravestone still stands. It bears the inscription “Lived Once, Buried Twice.”

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hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine